The beginning of forever...
Yawn
Sorry
(my thoughts are with Zoe Sugg at this difficult time)
Yawn
Sorry
(my thoughts are with Zoe Sugg at this difficult time)
- Notice
blurstoftimes
VIP Member
It seems fitting that the most lively And interesting conversation on niomis thread is about whether or not we drink hot water
You’re all just jealous.....
lilamay
VIP Member
So, her latest video...
00:10 - Humble bragging about her "not particularly fast" 10k run time of 47 minutes
00:24 - Says "it was a really nice morning. It was perfect. Perfect morning for a run!"
00:35 - Joe's made them breakfast. It's ready on the table. Niomi gushes "How dreamy is that?!"
00:46 - Dramatic reveal and big sing-song of the "amazing" "incredible" breakfast
01:16 - "Joe is the absolute dream for making that breakfast!"
01:44 - Says hazelnuts make her throat tickle but that she doesn't have an allergy or intolerance
02:44 - Doesn't wash the bagged spinach
03:23 - Has a bit of spinach on her finger and acts as if it's the most disgusting thing in the world. It's Waitrose Duchy Organic spinach!
04:06 - Says she's "multi-tasking" by making some tea - she's literally doing nothing else at this point.
04:29 - Starts laughing when pouring out the smoothie and calls over to Joe "Lumpy banana again!" Oh, so funny.
04:49 - Notice the book(/prop to look intellectual) she's been reading for months is on the table
05:13 - She's clearly completely lost track of what day it is
06:02 - Says she's making a "very, very simple and very, very thrown together" lunch - clearly has a different idea of what this means to the rest of us
09:51 - Tries covering the corn cobs with paste using a teaspoon before realising she's getting nowhere and using her fingers. Laughs "Getting messy!"
10:25 - Joe's lunch falls out of the oven when she's taking it out and Niomi learns the impracticality of cooking in white trousers
11:48 - Feels the need to do another workout because she's "literally been sat down for the whole day" (despite the 10k run first thing)
13:03 - Says her and Joe are going to be making curry and dal, but we see it's really her in charge - Joe's just her "gorgeous assistant"
15:56 - Tells Joe how to cut the cauliflower
17:44 - "Perfect chopping Joe!" she says, patronisingly, to a 31 year old man
21:09 - Again, no washing of the bagged spinach
21:50 - She and Joe eat the curry with a small bowl of dal on the side - no rice or chapathi. I know Niomi sometimes limits carbs but poor Joe
22:38 - Says she's "absolutely shattered from not doing a lot today really"...she ran a 10k, did an hour of yoga, made smoothies, made lunch, cooked a meal from scratch, probably re-filmed herself saying things countless times to sound perfect...but ok
00:10 - Humble bragging about her "not particularly fast" 10k run time of 47 minutes
00:24 - Says "it was a really nice morning. It was perfect. Perfect morning for a run!"
00:35 - Joe's made them breakfast. It's ready on the table. Niomi gushes "How dreamy is that?!"
00:46 - Dramatic reveal and big sing-song of the "amazing" "incredible" breakfast
01:16 - "Joe is the absolute dream for making that breakfast!"
01:44 - Says hazelnuts make her throat tickle but that she doesn't have an allergy or intolerance
02:44 - Doesn't wash the bagged spinach
03:23 - Has a bit of spinach on her finger and acts as if it's the most disgusting thing in the world. It's Waitrose Duchy Organic spinach!
04:06 - Says she's "multi-tasking" by making some tea - she's literally doing nothing else at this point.
04:29 - Starts laughing when pouring out the smoothie and calls over to Joe "Lumpy banana again!" Oh, so funny.
04:49 - Notice the book(/prop to look intellectual) she's been reading for months is on the table
05:13 - She's clearly completely lost track of what day it is
06:02 - Says she's making a "very, very simple and very, very thrown together" lunch - clearly has a different idea of what this means to the rest of us
09:51 - Tries covering the corn cobs with paste using a teaspoon before realising she's getting nowhere and using her fingers. Laughs "Getting messy!"
10:25 - Joe's lunch falls out of the oven when she's taking it out and Niomi learns the impracticality of cooking in white trousers
11:48 - Feels the need to do another workout because she's "literally been sat down for the whole day" (despite the 10k run first thing)
13:03 - Says her and Joe are going to be making curry and dal, but we see it's really her in charge - Joe's just her "gorgeous assistant"
15:56 - Tells Joe how to cut the cauliflower
17:44 - "Perfect chopping Joe!" she says, patronisingly, to a 31 year old man
21:09 - Again, no washing of the bagged spinach
21:50 - She and Joe eat the curry with a small bowl of dal on the side - no rice or chapathi. I know Niomi sometimes limits carbs but poor Joe
22:38 - Says she's "absolutely shattered from not doing a lot today really"...she ran a 10k, did an hour of yoga, made smoothies, made lunch, cooked a meal from scratch, probably re-filmed herself saying things countless times to sound perfect...but ok
It’s not his thread but his thread is as dead as his career so I’m posting it here....
niomi how could you leave this.....
for this
He’s only getting a thumbnail, nobody is stealing the limelight from Marcus.
I’m about to watch her packing vlog, her Instagram stories are so saccharin sweet and faux evangelistic I’m about to unfollow.
she makes Zoe Advent Sugg look genuine.
niomi how could you leave this.....
for this
He’s only getting a thumbnail, nobody is stealing the limelight from Marcus.I’m about to watch her packing vlog, her Instagram stories are so saccharin sweet and faux evangelistic I’m about to unfollow.
she makes Zoe Advent Sugg look genuine.
Her behavior towards Joe's eating habits is extremely weird. The man wanted to eat a toast with peanut butter along with his "smoothie bowl" and she pretty much begged him not to? How weird and disordered. He seemed a little bit annoyed at her reaction too. She definitely completely controls his eating which totally explains why he looks so tired.
lilamay
VIP Member
14:30 LOOOL
Glitch in the Gleambot! I repeat, Glitch in the Gleambot!The title of the latest video - ‘self care day- beauty, yoga, running, vegan cooking’. So everyday then Niomi? Such a pointless existence, what a bubble to live in.
And as for the whole food thing, at one point Joe even felt the need to justify the toast. When she complained about ‘butter on toast’ - he says ‘its peanut butter and banana on toast’ as apparently that’ll make it better in her eyes, and then has to clarify that it’s okay cause ‘it’s organic sourdough’. Tbh honest mate, if you wanted to eat a slice of treacle tart and smother it in lard, you’re ‘allowed’ to do that. Be your own person.
And as for the whole food thing, at one point Joe even felt the need to justify the toast. When she complained about ‘butter on toast’ - he says ‘its peanut butter and banana on toast’ as apparently that’ll make it better in her eyes, and then has to clarify that it’s okay cause ‘it’s organic sourdough’. Tbh honest mate, if you wanted to eat a slice of treacle tart and smother it in lard, you’re ‘allowed’ to do that. Be your own person.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY
the Marcus appreciation post...He’s not even trollin’!!
that’s the best bit
Ramster93
Chatty Member
My goodness, the annoyed reaction of hers to Joe turning down a tea and wanting toast.
"But noooo, Joeeey, I'm making smoothie bowls!" "I can have both."
Followed by "I love how I'm making something healthy for our wellness day and Joe is putting butter on toast, hehehe."
Then, towards the end she gets irritated with him toying with a knife near the cake. "We can't eat this now?" "No. No. It's not my birthday yet."
Again, she's still reading that god damn book -- "I feel like I've been reading it forever, not much progress has been made." That's because you've been reading it forever, darling.
They both look awful. Niomi's skin looks super dull (probably the lack of 2 facials in 1 day) and Joe looks terrible -- exhausted via starvation.
Someone get the man a steak!!! (Don't @ me, it's a joke)
If Joe had any sense of self-worth, he'd leave her. However, I think he'll just settle and deal with it. We can say we want about Marcus, but he dodged a freaking bullet. Niomi and her NutriBullet.
blurstoftimes
VIP Member
the ominous sound of Niomi’s smoothie bowl weather chant will haunt me in my sleep for the next few days
and that’s exactly what she’s doing. She’s a sales girl.
hilarious she talks about nothing but yoga, nut butter and veganism,
but she was blown away when her followers pointed this out to her
but shoreditch/soho house in EAST London right...?
yellowmango
Well-known member
Uhhh sis he ain't the one.Mine couldn’t be bothered to move in with me during lockdown so left me to turn 30 whilst living alone and then complained when I dropped half of the cake to my parents rather than him
earlgrey
VIP Member
She's seems a lot more smug since India, but in reality she's so unbearably basic and boring for someone who travels a lot and moved abroad. Food is a central part of her career, but silken tofu is "weird", two cloves of garlic is "a lot", oats in a smoothie is wild. Cooking her Indian breakfast from Soho House. She's so proud of her ginger and turmeric tea she brought back from India. Turmeric and ginger and hot water, you're blowing my mind Niomi!
She's wondering how on earth people are filling their time in isolation (I'm working, Niomi) when her whole career can be done from home. And you can tell she's super uncomfortable with her boredom snacking, creating a strict meal plan to compensate (poor Joe...). I've also been a bit unhealthier than normal whilst in lockdown... it's normal. And it's ok. We are in lockdown to literally save lives, it's not the end of the world if you lax on your diet for a little while in a completely unusual situation.
She's wondering how on earth people are filling their time in isolation (I'm working, Niomi) when her whole career can be done from home. And you can tell she's super uncomfortable with her boredom snacking, creating a strict meal plan to compensate (poor Joe...). I've also been a bit unhealthier than normal whilst in lockdown... it's normal. And it's ok. We are in lockdown to literally save lives, it's not the end of the world if you lax on your diet for a little while in a completely unusual situation.
CheshireLove
VIP Member
I don't know if Joe is capable of conversation. He seems so dim - probably because he's starving half the time. I imagine he just sits on the sofa in silence with his empty thoughts, desperately waiting for a chance to snaffle some food from the kitchen when the domestic goddess isn't looking.