New baby / post birth advice

[Hbirdette]

Ok so yesterday baby missed his bedtime feed as he was totally shattered, (6pmish) he started stirring at maybe.. 9pm? So I thought hmmm I’ll attempt a dream feed, never done one before but he went back down straight away, I slept straight after as I was knackered too. Anyway.... he woke up at 6.30am my first solid 9 hour sleep in 4 months! This probably won’t happen again for a while haha but I’m very happy this morning!

 

[Heybooboo]

Get lots of lavender oil if you are having a vaginal birth. This was an absolute godsend for me. I soaked my pads in it and put it in my baths and it really helped.

The only other advice is to not have any visitors you don’t want! I didn’t dare say no to anybody with my first baby in case I looked rude, but I really struggled to breastfeed and I remember sitting upstairs really struggling and being paranoid I had visitors downstairs waiting to meet the baby. In hindsight I wish I told them to just leave and let me concentrate on feeding my baby. It’s definitely something I’d do with my next.

100% this! I’m actually glad we’re going to be in a partial lockdown still and no one can come round to visit. The first day we were home we had visitors from 9am-11pm and the only times I held him were when I went off too feed him upstairs. I still can’t look at photos of people holding him from that day now it makes me too sad. Biggest regret I have.
I remember it was 10pm and he was crying as he was due a feed and my sister in law was holding him telling him it was fine for him to cry, I was mortified looked at my husband who just looked at me distressed. I snapped shouted give me my baby back, took him away and she followed me to our bedroom shouting at my husband I was depressed. I wasn’t I was 2 days pp my baby was crying for milk and you wouldn’t let me have him,I had spent the last 2 hours sitting on our lounge floor while they all sat on the sofa while I was sore and swollen from stitches and I was tired and hungry after only eating biscuits all day

didnt intend to go into that but it feels like therapy finally admitting that! Not been able too before

 

[swimming]

Just wanted to jump on and go back to the mention a few pages ago about no visitors....
I am 32 weeks FTM and my midwife said the other day to me that I’ll find everyone will come out the woodwork when baby is born. And it’s okay to say no!

Which made me feel at ease. Because it’s so true! I’ve been really unwell in this pregnancy and regardless of covid or not, hardly no one has been there for me! Mates have just faded out. When they found out I was pregnant I had all the “I can wait to be the fun auntie friend” etc etc.... then I don’t hear from them all 9 months!!

I have got to be strong when baby arrives because I’m expecting everyone to all of a sudden want to barge into my home to kiss my baby and see baby and I’ll be thinking “don’t think so! where were you when I’ve been ill the last 9 months”.

we’ve got this ladies Be strong and let’s enjoy our newborn bubbles x

 

[moimoi]

I do separate just because most of mine and my partners clothes are black, and babies are light but then I somehow recently discovered colour catchers as well!

I went to the mother and baby group today and… I actually enjoyed it. It was good to get out of the house and my baby was the youngest so lots of mothers gushing over him. He was asleep for most of it then woke up and was so funny watching him watch other little people. I pushed myself to make conversation and pretend I care about other people’s babies. I’ve booked myself to go next week.

@Definitelyme you were right about the sweat, fuck me! I was dripping when I was walking home.

 

[Icbaaaa]

I seen a tiktok of a woman saying her friend had a baby and struggling to do anything so she went round, ordered them coffees, lunch, watched the baby so mum could nap and shower and it really hit me how I don't have anyone like that in my life it really is true what they say, when you have a baby you see who your real friends are. I just wish baby/toddler classes would open here again soon so I could try make some mum friends (I'm tired and emotional if you can't tell haha)

 

[Tui]

Hi everyone I was on the pregnancy thread then been MIA since my little boy arrived on 2nd April. Now nearly 4 weeks in and dipping my toe back in the Tattle pond now I’m not quite in so much pain, the crying has stopped (mine not his) and my nips no longer bleeding

 

[OIM]

Mine kept stopping and then 2 days later would just gush out so didn’t dare not wear pads for at least 4 weeks.

God mine was the same. Had to rush to hopsital one day as I bled so much out of the blue and then within 2 days it had stopped again. Still not confident it’s fully stopped!

I’m having an elective C section in 5 weeks time. I’m more concerned about the after op, will I be able to look after my baby if I’m still recovering? It worries me il be in too much pain to do a lot for him

One of the midwives said something to me after my first c section that stuck with me - if you’d had that kind of surgery for anything else you’d be on a morphine drip and bed rest but for a c section you’re given over the counter pain relief and a baby to look after so go easy on yourself.
Rest as much as possible and don’t try and be super mum. You’ve just had major surgery and the only thing that really matters is recovering and your baby x

 

[BettyCrocker]

Post birth advice:

-stock up on maternity pads & paracetamol/ibuprofen as you bleed for a good week or so after the birth and you can feel really sore and still cramping from labour.

-have a warm bath every day with a handful of table salt in it and gently swirl the warm water around your lady bits - this helps keep everything clean and helps it to heal

- your boobs will get very big and very very sore and you will leak milk out of them!!!! If you are not breast feeding you will have to express to get some relief and you can give baby the milk in a bottle

- you will probably still have a baby belly and look pregnant for a good week or so after birth and your body takes time to go back to feeling “normal”

- it’s normal to feel completely upside down and out of routine and weird and hormonal and upset and low after the baby has arrived.

New Baby Advice:

- get out of the house with the baby for a walk every day, they need the day light to get them used to the difference between day and night and even if they sleep the fresh air is good for you & them

- don’t put any pressure on yourself to feed the baby a particular way - a fed baby is the aim of the game, bottle or breast is not the be all and end all of life.

 

[Gilmoregirl18]

I am going in for induction tonight, both nervous and excited, just hoping it goes smoothly!

 

[Hbirdette]

Just got my first proper smiles from baby birdette this morning. Brb just crying

 

[Definitelyme]

Have to say I’ve gone the other way today. Baby is 2 days old, but it’s my dad’s birthday so my family all came round to our house/garden for tea I had a section and am in no fit state to go anywhere, and they brought Chinese. My mum did say “oh are you tired? You look a bit tired? You don’t look 100% today”

Uhm funny that. Just sliced open, have a newborn and 3 other kids. Can’t imagine why I don’t look tip top

 

[Ilando]

26 weeks tomorrow. Handed in my forms last week to sort my maternity leave out. I’m nearly 40 and this is my first baby so it feels very odd. I’ve been teaching full time since I was 22 so feeling very weird about the thought of not returning to school in September.

I’ve waited a long time for this

Edited to add: I’m following this thread with interest as I haven’t got a clue. The only thing we’ve purchased so far is a giant giraffe

 

[Platypusfattypus]

A few tips I always tell new mums

1. Use proper maternity pads especially if you have had stitches. Always ultra can dry it out a bit too much and make stitches irritated.

2. If you are on clexane/enoxaparin injections pinch your skin, inject and keep pinching until you take the needle out. It hurts a bit less and can help witb bruising.

3. Give yourself 6 weeks to heal and then do your pelvic floors. Honestly they are so important.

4. You will not burst your stitches when you have your first poo. But if you want you can use some folded tissue paper to gently press on your perineum if it helps you feel better. Also if you have had a section a folded towel pressed against your wound can help you feel more comfortable if you cough or sneeze.

5. Take anelgesia regularly. Don't wait for the pain to build, manage it straight away.

6.and relax and get to know your baby. Nothing else matters

 

[Blonde123]

Biggest bit of advice I would give to all new mums is don’t let others unwanted opinions get to you. You are the baby’s mum and knows what’s best for them. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and go with the flow xx

Oh just to add... take lactolose or whatever it’s called, basically a stool softener. It’s NOT a laxative. Can be bought at the pharmacy and honestly it’s a god send when trying to poo after birth. It’s like a shot that you take once a day. The first poo after my c section was HORRIFIC I very nearly called an ambulance. Second time around I made sure to take that and managed to poo absolutely fine. Sorry for TMI, but honestly it’s a god send! Xx

 

[moimoi]

The joy of boys! Just changed his wet nappy, then midchange he shat all over the mat and all down his back, then lifting his legs up to clean him, he pissed all over his face.

 

[Mogmog]

My new parent advice: When you start going out and using baby changing rooms, change the baby and keep the nappy to one side until baby is all clean and dressed and back in the pram. Right before you're about to open the door to leave, put the used nappy in the bin.
From experience, if I put the used nappy in the bin right after I've removed it, the smell of a whole bin of used nappies fills the room and it's gross while I'm rushing to dress my baby and get out of there.

Save yourself - bin the nappy last thing.

 

[MarlaSinger]

Things I remember from my 37 hour labour that helped (it's a little foggy!):
- Take lip balm if you plan on using gas and air.
- Get a bottle with a straw, I was tanking the water during labour and it just made it easy to get a lot of liquid in.
- For God's sake if you need the pain relief, just take it. There are no prizes for doing it uneducated, and you get the same result at the end.
- The mixture of gas and air and diamorphine make it feel like you are on a really good night out
- Take easy, fuss free snacks like Snackajacks.
- I think all the water I drank also really helped with that first poo. I had a second degree tear that they decided against stitching for some reason and was a bit worried, but honestly it was the same as any other poo!
- Get a squirt bottle and keep it by the toilet, fill it with warm water before every wee and squirt on your nether regions as you're peeing. Thank me later.
- Take your own pillow to the hospital, one that you've slept on for a couple of nights. I found it really calming to have something that smelt familiar with me.
-Make sure you take at least shower gel with you, that first shower after giving birth is wonderful. Try to get a fragrance free, gentle one of you can because if it somehow gets onto any wounds it does sting a bit.
- Along the same lines, toothbrush and toothpaste is a must too, especially if you labour over a couple of nights when cleaning your teeth might not be a priority.
- If you're wanting to breastfeed and either don't really know how to or are having problems, ASK FOR HELP. I cannot stress this enough. Do not get signed off from midwifery care (usually a visit or 2 after you've had baby) until you are happy breastfeeding.
- Along those lines, and if you're able to afford it, get an IBCLC lined up just in case.
- If during the night (if you stay in) a midwife comes and asks if you want her to take baby away for a couple of hours, say yes. It might be your last chance for a little while to get a solid block of sleep in.

That's all I can think of from the top of my head but feel free to chuck any questions my way!

 

[Hairraiser]

Ok, so I was admitted with reduced movements last night. Diagnosed with preeclampsia and they have scheduled my C-section for tomorrow.


Help
Shocked, nervous, excited..all in one!

 

[Pinkii]

Hey all, been in the newborn bubble over the last week, but happy to have graduated from the pregnancy thread to here!

I’m feeling a bit shit though as my baby is only 9 days old and I’ve already caved into giving him a dummy. He would just not settle in his bedside crib.

Constant cycle of breastfeeding, him falling asleep on me then putting him in the crib and him waking and crying straight away then repeat. So exhausting.

I can’t see it affecting breastfeeding as he’s an absolute milk monster but someone please tell me I’m not a terrible mum and I haven’t fucked everything up. Or should I have just stopped being a little bitch, and continued with the hope of him eventually learning to settle?

congratulations!!

nothing wrong with giving your baby a dummy, i dont know any mum who hasnt given it, despite all saying we wouldn’t. The midwives actually gave my first baby a dummy when she was in hospital for jaundice.

it really helps with settling, their gas, or if they have reflux of any kind and also helps reduce risk of SIDS.

if you feel your baby needs it then give it

 

[HeyLetsGo]

My best tip for weaning is to avoid any insta weaning accounts! They’re all faddy and just aimed at making you buy expensive bowls, or wasting your time making unnecessarily complicated concoctions.

NHS start4life, your own instinct and a hoover (or a greedy dog) are all you need.