Hmm wierd. Have asked my husband who’s a urologist and he doesn’t have an explanation either. “It will probably just get better” K thanks hun!
will mention it at 6w check if still ongoing!
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will mention it at 6w check if still ongoing!
Hi everyone, I’ve been lurking on this thread. My little one is almost 12 weeks. Time has gone so quickly!
I kind of need some advice or some tips, I’m a first time mother, I part own a business and have stepped back to enjoy motherhood-of which I really am! Husband who is very supportive.
However I feel as though I’ve completely lost my identity and confidence in different ways. Does or did anyone else feel this way?!
I kind of need some advice or some tips, I’m a first time mother, I part own a business and have stepped back to enjoy motherhood-of which I really am! Husband who is very supportive.
However I feel as though I’ve completely lost my identity and confidence in different ways. Does or did anyone else feel this way?!
Ever since having kids, it's something I've felt completely. I no longer have hobbies, I lost interest in everything and felt like all I am is a Mum.
My partner didn't help when I tried to confide in him and his response was "Well, that's what you are though"
I definitely think the change to one child has the biggest impact on mums. You give up every part of yourself in those early weeks and become totally intertwined with someone who depends entirely on you. Your every waking moment is about them, or what you can achieve before they wake again, and you have no time for anything else. It is so hard, you go from being yourself for however many years of life to being almost entirely “someone’s mum”. But as they get older it eases and you find yourself in there again. X
Ahhh super helpful husbandHmm wierd. Have asked my husband who’s a urologist and he doesn’t have an explanation either. “It will probably just get better” K thanks hun!
I remember with my last section a similar thing happened. Actually both times straight after birth I’ve been totally unable to pee at all for about 12hrs, and then it takes about a week for everything to properly “come back” for me. I wonder is it to do with the muscles in the area having been cut, so not able to squeeze effectively? Because I know I can feel it in that area if I’m trying to squeeze the last drops out.
Also remember before birth you needed to lee every 5 mins and the sensation of needing to go was very strong. So that has totally changed now as well, and I think it does take some getting used to again, I noticed that after my first especially (vaginal birth, no catheter used at any point)
You definitely lose your identity somewhat. I know it's really trivial but I left my 7 month old with her dad and went and got my hair done today. I feel so good for it! I was gone for like four hours but I left some milk and there was no problems.
I'm also looking forward to getting back to work and not just being a mum, I think that will help!
I'm also looking forward to getting back to work and not just being a mum, I think that will help!
Honestly I definitely felt like this and am sorry to say probably felt like it until my daughter was aboht 2.5 and I felt I could go out and not worry etc. I was just starting to feel like myself then got pregnant again
back to feeling like the only person I am is mum.
Hey I wasn't sure whether to make a separate thread or just post in here! Someone close to me is due in a couple of months (her first) and I'd love to get her some thoughtful gifts nearer the time.
What have you got that you loved or what do you wish someone got for you? Do you prefer practical gifts or more pampering ones? I don't have kids myself so need all the help I can get! Thank you!
What have you got that you loved or what do you wish someone got for you? Do you prefer practical gifts or more pampering ones? I don't have kids myself so need all the help I can get! Thank you!
I’m 30 and still having my growth spurt I thinkDefinitely a growth spurt at 6 weeksalthough I think every day from day 1 to about 2 years old is a growth spurt
A friend got me a bunch of bath bombs, face masks, and some chocolate ect and it was the most thoughtful gift, it's very rare someone thinks of the Mum, everyone buys for the baby so it meant a lot
Hi,
while I completely understand and felt the same after my first i just want to put another perspective on it because I've noticed a few people saying that they can't wait to be more than "just a mum" again.
Before having my first baby my work was my life, my husband and I ran a business together and my best friends worked within the business so when I left to have our baby I felt like I didn't see my husband half as much anymore, my friends were all in a different stage of life so I didn't see them, I had no friends having babies at the same time so no one to turn to like that, no projects to work on. I used to go to a hot yoga class three times a week, that stopped, everything changed. I felt so isolated. Still, I ended up not going back to work and realised that there is a lot to be said for being "just a mum".
While I'm not advocating that you quit work and be a stay at home mum, it's not for everyone, what I want to say is please know that this phase of yours and your babies life is transient. Your role as "mum" is new and takes time to get used to. It's changed your life dynamic but it's more important than any other role that you will play in life. It's the title that you will carry with you now, passed work retirement life, until your dying day. One day your baby will grow up and find independence and you will so miss these baby days
So ry to take each day as it comes remember that you're still you but a new you, the most important person in the world to your little one and that can take time to adapt to. You will face challenges it will seem daunting, people will always have their opinions on which ever way you decide to parent so you need to find confidence in your new role like anything else. Enjoy your time off with your baby. Take too many pictures. This time will fly by, the cheesey clichés are so true they're not babies for long
Whilst I somewhat agree with you it's not the same for everyone. Yes, being a mum is fantastic and these stages are so important HOWEVER the pandemic and lockdown has stripped myself of very little adult interaction. My partner has still gone out to work every day pretty much this whole time whilst I have then raised our baby alone. It has been incredibly tough.Hi,
while I completely understand and felt the same after my first i just want to put another perspective on it because I've noticed a few people saying that they can't wait to be more than "just a mum" again.
Before having my first baby my work was my life, my husband and I ran a business together and my best friends worked within the business so when I left to have our baby I felt like I didn't see my husband half as much anymore, my friends were all in a different stage of life so I didn't see them, I had no friends having babies at the same time so no one to turn to like that, no projects to work on. I used to go to a hot yoga class three times a week, that stopped, everything changed. I felt so isolated. Still, I ended up not going back to work and realised that there is a lot to be said for being "just a mum".
While I'm not advocating that you quit work and be a stay at home mum, it's not for everyone, what I want to say is please know that this phase of yours and your babies life is transient. Your role as "mum" is new and takes time to get used to. It's changed your life dynamic but it's more important than any other role that you will play in life. It's the title that you will carry with you now, passed work retirement life, until your dying day. One day your baby will grow up and find independence and you will so miss these baby days
Enjoy your time off with your baby. Take too many pictures. This time will fly by, the cheesey clichés are so true they're not babies for long
Also, I have gone to uni and trained for my job. Only just qualifying before I had to leave at 28 weeks, there is no way I am not going back! We also need myself to return for financial reasons. Being a stay at home mum isn't for everyone and wanting to have more than just your life revolving around your baby isn't a bad thing.
No one has said it’s bad thing to want to be someone else other than Mum it’s also not a bad thing that all you want to be is Mum. Everyone’s different we should just support each other.
personally I’m just Mum and one day I’ll be something else again, I’m happy and that’s all that matters not what other people think about that
on a different note this mum had spent the last 2 hours crying as I’ve been up feeding since midnight my nipples are now so painful I don’t want baby anywhere near them
I just want sleep, it’s been like this for a week and I know it’s normal but with a toddler too look after I’m really running on empty. I can’t see an end to the tiredness yet rationally I know it does end!
personally I’m just Mum and one day I’ll be something else again, I’m happy and that’s all that matters not what other people think about that
on a different note this mum had spent the last 2 hours crying as I’ve been up feeding since midnight my nipples are now so painful I don’t want baby anywhere near them
I just want sleep, it’s been like this for a week and I know it’s normal but with a toddler too look after I’m really running on empty. I can’t see an end to the tiredness yet rationally I know it does end!If you reread my post again I've said that I'm not advocating everyone should be a SAHM but to enjoy the maternity period and make the most of it while you are off knowing that it is a short phase in your life which will pass
Food
or vouchers for baby stuff she might need further down the line.
Oh lovely, it’s so tough isn’t it but it does get better. I used cold flannels and lanolin when my nipples were sore. This really will pass. Do you feel comfortable laying down to feed? You lay in a C, arm above baby’s head and legs bent up so you don’t roll. I’d tuck my other hand in between my legs. It saved me in the early days of cluster feeding and my daughter had a tongue tie that was missed until 11 weeks and towards then my milk supply was so poor she was feeding 24/7 desperate for milk. Even if I didn’t sleep, just the laying down helped me feel better as I’d feel dizzy from the tiredness.on a different note this mum had spent the last 2 hours crying as I’ve been up feeding since midnight my nipples are now so painful I don’t want baby anywhere near them
Sending you lots of love and you can do this vibes.
Yes i understood what you was saying. I was explaining my reasoning for going back to work.If you reread my post again I've said that I'm not advocating everyone should be a SAHM but to enjoy the maternity period and make the most of it while you are off knowing that it is a short phase in your life which will pass
Something like an Amazon/Apple TV voucher so she can buy some films/series to watch on maternity leave. Some of her favourite snacks. If she in in to pampering maybe some bits like that.
Sending love. How old is baby? How is the latch? Are your nipples sore constantly or just when baby latches? You could try some different positions to feed to try and relieve the pain on certain parts of your nipples xNo one has said it’s bad thing to want to be someone else other than Mum it’s also not a bad thing that all you want to be is Mum. Everyone’s different we should just support each other.
personally I’m just Mum and one day I’ll be something else again, I’m happy and that’s all that matters not what other people think about that
on a different note this mum had spent the last 2 hours crying as I’ve been up feeding since midnight my nipples are now so painful I don’t want baby anywhere near them
26 weeks tomorrow. Handed in my forms last week to sort my maternity leave out. I’m nearly 40 and this is my first baby so it feels very odd. I’ve been teaching full time since I was 22 so feeling very weird about the thought of not returning to school in September.
I’ve waited a long time for this
Edited to add: I’m following this thread with interest as I haven’t got a clue. The only thing we’ve purchased so far is a giant giraffe
I’ve waited a long time for this
Edited to add: I’m following this thread with interest as I haven’t got a clue. The only thing we’ve purchased so far is a giant giraffe
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