it sounds like you are doing a great job in persevering, really admirable considering you have been so miserable. Have you gotten in touch with a registered lactation consultant? Even if her TT has been released it could still take a while for her to learn to latch properly, and some specialist help may get you both on track, and enjoying feeding, more quickly.
New baby / post birth advice
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6 weeks in and I’m at the stage where I totally hate my husband. I mainly hate that he has any time in the day where he doesn’t feel crushed by the responsibility of two children and a house to run. I’ve decided to bring baby and go to bed at 6 when the toddler went to bed just so I don’t have to sit in a room with him.
my toddler is really struggling with the adjustment of having a sibling and I feel like I spend my whole life refereeing between her and my husband.
lockdown doesn’t help as I just feel totally trapped with him.
my toddler is really struggling with the adjustment of having a sibling and I feel like I spend my whole life refereeing between her and my husband.
lockdown doesn’t help as I just feel totally trapped with him.
Sending lots of love
I remember feeling this hate with my first and wondered if i would feel it this time actually, I think it’s inevitable. I think men just don’t realise what we have to do day to day and what a shift in our life a baby is.Try and enjoy your early night away from him, maybe see tomorrow if you can get him to understand and do some things to help you out
I think at the moment he’s sulking as he thinks me and the toddler hate him. I can’t be bothered even trying to help him understand that she’s little and going through some big feelings. I do remember hating him last time so hopefully it’s just a normal new baby phase. Unfortunately just in time for Mother’s Day and his birthday.Sending lots of love
Try and enjoy your early night away from him, maybe see tomorrow if you can get him to understand and do some things to help you out
No and also that it’s not about them. He takes it so personally when she’s horrible to him but doesn’t get that it’s not about him. I think I have an advantage as I work with children. I’ve tried telling him she won’t change unless he does but he doesn’t get it. I spend my life reading about how to parent the toddler and he just thinks she should blindly comply to whatever he tells her and wonders why the butt heads constantly.
Post birth advice:
-stock up on maternity pads & paracetamol/ibuprofen as you bleed for a good week or so after the birth and you can feel really sore and still cramping from labour.
-have a warm bath every day with a handful of table salt in it and gently swirl the warm water around your lady bits - this helps keep everything clean and helps it to heal
- your boobs will get very big and very very sore and you will leak milk out of them!!!! If you are not breast feeding you will have to express to get some relief and you can give baby the milk in a bottle
- you will probably still have a baby belly and look pregnant for a good week or so after birth and your body takes time to go back to feeling “normal”
- it’s normal to feel completely upside down and out of routine and weird and hormonal and upset and low after the baby has arrived.
New Baby Advice:
- get out of the house with the baby for a walk every day, they need the day light to get them used to the difference between day and night and even if they sleep the fresh air is good for you & them
- don’t put any pressure on yourself to feed the baby a particular way - a fed baby is the aim of the game, bottle or breast is not the be all and end all of life.
-stock up on maternity pads & paracetamol/ibuprofen as you bleed for a good week or so after the birth and you can feel really sore and still cramping from labour.
-have a warm bath every day with a handful of table salt in it and gently swirl the warm water around your lady bits - this helps keep everything clean and helps it to heal
- your boobs will get very big and very very sore and you will leak milk out of them!!!! If you are not breast feeding you will have to express to get some relief and you can give baby the milk in a bottle
- you will probably still have a baby belly and look pregnant for a good week or so after birth and your body takes time to go back to feeling “normal”
- it’s normal to feel completely upside down and out of routine and weird and hormonal and upset and low after the baby has arrived.
New Baby Advice:
- get out of the house with the baby for a walk every day, they need the day light to get them used to the difference between day and night and even if they sleep the fresh air is good for you & them
- don’t put any pressure on yourself to feed the baby a particular way - a fed baby is the aim of the game, bottle or breast is not the be all and end all of life.
Oh that stage is so hard
feeling like your life has totally changed (again) and you are shouldering everything while OH continues on with their day to day life with very little change. It’s something I have felt many times in the past, and it is so bleeping hard. Sending you so much love And I also agree men generally aren’t as good at recognising big feelings in kids and responding appropriately, which makes your life so much harder.
Try and get some good rest with your early night, and I hope you have a nice Mother’s Day tomorrow x
A little off topic but I feel like this is the place to ask this question 
Are any of you taking government maternity pay? I’m self employed and we’ve been talking about knuckling down and trying for a kid for a little while but I don’t know anyone who’s used state mat pay. Does anyone have any experience with it?
Are any of you taking government maternity pay? I’m self employed and we’ve been talking about knuckling down and trying for a kid for a little while but I don’t know anyone who’s used state mat pay. Does anyone have any experience with it?Where do you live??A little off topic but I feel like this is the place to ask this question
Are you UK based? If you’re up to date with your class 2 national insurance contributions and earth a certain amount in a certain period of time (it’s not much at all but I can’t remember how much it is exactly) you are eligible for £151 a week for up to 39 weeks when you are self employed. It’s called maternity allowance instead of statutory maternity pay... the form looks intimidating but it’s actually really easy. My biggest piece of advice is to save save save!A little off topic but I feel like this is the place to ask this question
Due in 3 weeks but being induced in 2.
Already had the in laws texting saying they are making sure they get their vaccine in time for baby’s arrival so that they can be on hand for babysitting. Not sure they understand that vaccine or no vaccine I don’t want visitors! I already know they are going to be a nightmare. I haven’t told them I’m being induced or when because we made the mistake of telling my MIL when we had some (routine) scans and she rang us even whilst we were still in the hospital wanting to know what had happened
I know she means well but she is far too involved.
Anyway not trying to rant just saying how refreshing it is to read from others how beneficial it can be to not have visitors for a short while. I’ve had a few people try and guilt trip me about it already.
Already had the in laws texting saying they are making sure they get their vaccine in time for baby’s arrival so that they can be on hand for babysitting. Not sure they understand that vaccine or no vaccine I don’t want visitors! I already know they are going to be a nightmare. I haven’t told them I’m being induced or when because we made the mistake of telling my MIL when we had some (routine) scans and she rang us even whilst we were still in the hospital wanting to know what had happened
I know she means well but she is far too involved. Anyway not trying to rant just saying how refreshing it is to read from others how beneficial it can be to not have visitors for a short while. I’ve had a few people try and guilt trip me about it already.
Oh god I feel your pain, I’m also due in 3 weeks and today my MIL announced that she has booked the first 2 weeks of April off. My response was “why?” Blunt and straight to the pointDue in 3 weeks but being induced in 2.
Already had the in laws texting saying they are making sure they get their vaccine in time for baby’s arrival so that they can be on hand for babysitting. Not sure they understand that vaccine or no vaccine I don’t want visitors! I already know they are going to be a nightmare. I haven’t told them I’m being induced or when because we made the mistake of telling my MIL when we had some (routine) scans and she rang us even whilst we were still in the hospital wanting to know what had happened
Anyway not trying to rant just saying how refreshing it is to read from others how beneficial it can be to not have visitors for a short while. I’ve had a few people try and guilt trip me about it already.
This is our first baby & covid or not, I want to adapt to having our baby at home with just my husband and I!
good luck
I had to claim it retrospectively because my employer ( head office/payroll ) denied ever seeing my Matb1 and they didn't think to ask for it .A little off topic but I feel like this is the place to ask this question
It is based on an average earnings on quite a long period of time ( well over 1 tax year) so I sEnt my highest payslips from months I did overtime. So it worked out ok for me as I got more than my 90% of my weekly wage ( my weekly wage is less than statutory maternity anyway) .
I'm employed so I'm not sure if there is any difference for self employed claims , but the qualification period is definitely pre-pandemic so don't worry if it impacted your earnings , you can use figures from 2019- 2020.
My mum has done this.Oh god I feel your pain, I’m also due in 3 weeks and today my MIL announced that she has booked the first 2 weeks of April off. My response was “why?” Blunt and straight to the point
This is our first baby & covid or not, I want to adapt to having our baby at home with just my husband and I!
good luck
I'm not close to her at all. And she's booked a week either side of when I'm due.
I only see her maybe once a month now.
But when I had my others, she visited every day.
Even if it was just a small excuse of bringing us a loaf of bread 'just incase'
Then as soon as the novelty wears off, she's back to hardly speaking/visiting!
Yes I’m in the UK. It’s not a lot is it
I had a look at the form and yeah, it’s scary! Thanks for all the advice ladies!My advice is don't tell anyone your due date the amount of messages I had everyday was really pissing me off. I was too nice to say leave me alone! Plus I was two weeks over and while being induced I had the same. Mainly from MIL and my mum. I've learnt my lesson now. My mum was pissed because I didn't tell her the EXACT moment I was being rushed down to labour ward from prenatal to have my waters broken while I was contracting and just in a general mess 
the amount of messages I had everyday was really pissing me off. I was too nice to say leave me alone! Plus I was two weeks over and while being induced I had the same. Mainly from MIL and my mum. I've learnt my lesson now. My mum was pissed because I didn't tell her the EXACT moment I was being rushed down to labour ward from prenatal to have my waters broken while I was contracting and just in a general mess Hi lovelies, I’m 2 weeks PP after having my 1st baby via emergency c section and I can’t stop thinking about having another baby! I want another! Buuut is this a hormonal thing? Does everyone get this?
Due to c section I certainly won’t be trying again for a good few years but very surprised at this new found broodiness (child 1 was unplanned)
Due to c section I certainly won’t be trying again for a good few years but very surprised at this new found broodiness (child 1 was unplanned)
I have a 2 week old and I’m already wondering when I can have the next baby
pretty sure it’s hormones haha. I’m having the coil put in but I didn’t realise they won’t fit it until 12 weeks PP which is concerning so I’ve stocked up on condoms 
Congratulations mama! X
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