I did it. I listened to the whole podcast. I did it for you. No one else has to do it.
The house they tried to buy before The Bungalow (the one she's
totally over but made a freaking scrapbook about) was an old nunnery, apparently.
She says in this podcast that they "wouldn't let us buy it" - like, maybe because it's out of your budget??? You wanted to gut the property, redo the plumbing, the electric, and slap on THIRTY-TWO windows. No wonder they didn't want you to have it.
She talks about the process of finding their current house. The heartbreak of not being able to buy the nunnery. They even considered renting it! Can you imagine? Renting? Like a peasant?
Eventually though, their agent showed them to a house in the pitch black down a 2km road in the middle of nowhere. And they fell in love with it, because it looks like a cottage from the front but the back is covered in windows. It really brings in the light. Not enough for your personality, though.
They move on to the topic of decorating the house. Instead of buying a period property, they bought The Bungalow to really put their own design stamp on it. She admits "
I can't do anything in the house unless I clear it with my husband first, just purely because he doesn't want me doing things a hundred times over." Gee, I wonder where he'd pick up a worry like that
She talks about the living room with the black walls, and notes "
I feel so accomplished that I did it myself" - err... Bitch, who painted it? Who made/assembled the furniture? Who wove the rugs? Who mounted the TV? Who put in the fireplace? Who installed all the lights? Who painted those freaking paintings?? Who hung them? Seriously, what did you actually do in that room???????
The host mentions "
the key to all this is planning," because apparently this room was "planned to a tee", with everything "moodboarded". That's not a word. Why is it changing again? How many times have you "planned"??
Moving on to the topic of Christmas: "
It's not like I pay people to do my trees for me." Technically true, only because you didn't pay
Sarah-Jane...
She claims she had 4 or 5 trees last year. We know it was 3. One of them in that room you never go in. Let's just call it 2. It's still excessive.
She says they get very excited for Christmas. They got married at this time of year. It's her happy time. THEN STOP READING TATTLE.
This year she's partnered with Place To Be, a charity for children's mental health. She's designing a wreath for them. I can't believe I've been dealing with depression and anxiety all these years... If only I had a wreath, I'd be cured!
Fear not, she takes her wreaths very seriously. "
A wreath on your front door, I just think it says something about the person that lives behind that door." It does. It says that they have the money to waste on wreaths. MULTIPLE wreaths, dying a slow death in the attic.
The host asks for a sneak peek of what might be in the wreath and on her tree. "
I'm IN LOVE with feathers from the pheasants," she emphasises. She'll still continue to dress like she shoots them, though.
Some rooms aren't decorated for Christmas. It's kept to the living spaces so that you don't "get sick of Christmas." I'm sick of you. Get me a wreath,
stat!
She notes that Ali's family have formed a lot of traditions over the years, and she's gotten to know them over the years, especially since they hosted last year. One of the traditions is that they stay in their pyjamas all day. So she has special "Christmas pyjamas". The host notes that they have to be silk pyjamas, you've got to have a bit of glam. Veganism and Chistmas can't go together, of course.
Speaking of her origin story, she ended up going to university at 21, as a mature student. It'd be generous to call you mature, even 11 years later. She wanted to do a fashion marketing degree, but she wasn't allowed on that course so settled for a business degree instead. What A-levels do you need to be
denied a place on a fashion marketing course?
She always had diary entry websites, growing up. She started taking pictures of her outfits on the floor of her university accommodation and posting them online. Eventually she graduated to wearing them. She has a passion for documenting her life in that way. She'll be flogging an autobiography soon. For what achievements? You tell me.
Having started a YouTube channel elevated everything she was doing. She couldn't imagine a more perfect career. For her. She specifies, "for me". I don't think she's ever learned the words "you", "he", "she", or "they". They're called PRONOUNS, Lydia. Never mind, we've lost her already.
"
I'm not the kind of person who can do the same thing every day," she notes. Couldn't possibly run down the same road, drink the same decaf, eat the same gruel, boss around the same husband, check on the same "sprootlings", sit on the same sofa, in front of the same fire, and fight over the same LaMer cream. Oh no, not this mole!
She admits she gets bored easily. If she had gone on to the career she orignically intended, she would have ended up restless. That's an odd way to pronounce "unemployed".
She's adamant that her core audience is over 35, and she has more viewers over 55 than under 18. Someone get the fire extinguisher, the bullshit detector is ablaze again.
To wrap up, the host gives Lydia an opportunity to promote her social channels. She says that she uploads her home updates most frequently on her home instagram account. You know, the completely dead one. The last post was 2 weeks ago, and it's a recycled picture.
That's it. My apologies for not being able to live up to the standard of
@ElleBelle - I'm sure there will be plenty more material to practise.
