Elle Belle
Chatty Member
Hi Tattlers
Thank you for your questions @Miscanthus. And for all Tattlers' content ideas in general. What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine. It's my space on the internet. Not yours.
Q. Globy and hair debacles are still unresolved....Is hair on its fifth or sixth reincarnation? It still looks red, fly away and dry....
A. Globy is CENSORED! Imma need you to shut that shit up you frying pan of an imbecile.
I know right! Heads will roll. I will not protect them. I am not their mother. I'm currently reading a book on pharmacology so I can prescribe 50mg of cyanide to all hairdressers.
Q. Blood test results are not back.....but have probably been sent to The Diagnosis Detectives (monday 9pm, bbc2) as an medical mystery.
A. These things cannot be rushed. I take my health seriously. I'm about to embark on a new life again did you all know? When the lab is done with my blood test, they're going use the leftover for a vaccine for stupidity. I'm such a generous moo moo.
Q. Where is the 'not free' greenhouse? We are missing the growing season!
A. Alitex said it would take 16 weeks. Morons. I shouldn't have to wait. I'm such a sad moo moo. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet unlike all of you. The roses are wilting. The violets are dead. The sugar bowl is empty. And so is my head. I can write poetry too @Oops...
Q. Who was the winner of the GHD hair straightener/curler giveaway?
A. The giveaway was for all to enter from every walks of life. I won.
Q. Were the raised beds installed last week month as promised?
A. Not yet. Someone told me I should apologise to the plants for keeping me alive first. I'm on plant #9 then I lost count. Double figures confuse me.
Q. Have you seen your mother yet....and given her the Globy kit "that she needs"?
A. My mother needs more than an independent tool kit to cure her. She didn't introduce me to the 3 step Clinique regime did you all know? I was neglected. And homeless. She's so fugly even maggots ghost her.
Q. What's happened to the outdoor kitchen plans?
A. Still begging! I NEED an outdoor pizza oven. NOW. Cawwee only said the other day that I'm a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. She's knows me so well.
Q. When are you going to tell us more about your art collaboration? When will we see the art work you COMMISSIONED? Collaboration would suggest you are an artist too!
A. I am an artist. Well my face is like a modern work of art at least. You can't tell what it is.
Q. Has your veg delivery been redirected to somebody more deserving?
A. Yes. To someone who actually likes veg.
Q. Where is the bedroom redesign you teased us with?
A. There's no teasing in the bedroom I can assure you that. The only thing lower than my IQ is my husband's penis.
Q. Have you visited your Nonna yet? Just an innocent question....no need to delete!
A. Who's Nonna?
Q. Has the 'oak' porch been approved or are you growing the timber?
A. You're such a silly moo. I can't grow timber. I'm dumber than a block of wood. And not nearly as useful.
Q. What's happening to the house front facelift?
A. Abandoned. I'm saving up for a real facelift now. Whenever I eye-fuck myself in the viewfinder, my husband keeps telling me my face looks like a painting of a ball sac by a monkey on crack.
Q. Why is your husband on holiday with another man and cutting up his food?
A. I said hella no to a baby so he's adopted a man child.
Q. When can we "officially" see the new sage bag that we know you bought?
A. In 2025 when I nextgatecrash get invited to an event.
Q. When will the dressing room company be back to beg for forgiveness and redo all their mistakes?
A. Soon. Now that shitbag on legs Josie has finally revealed her dressing room I can copycat. I hate her. And her house. I'd buy the land she walks on if it meant I could shoot her for trespassing. Well that's if I could afford it. Bitch Lumi stole all my money.
Love Lydia xx
Thank you for your questions @Miscanthus. And for all Tattlers' content ideas in general. What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine. It's my space on the internet. Not yours.
Q. Globy and hair debacles are still unresolved....Is hair on its fifth or sixth reincarnation? It still looks red, fly away and dry....
A. Globy is CENSORED! Imma need you to shut that shit up you frying pan of an imbecile.
I know right! Heads will roll. I will not protect them. I am not their mother. I'm currently reading a book on pharmacology so I can prescribe 50mg of cyanide to all hairdressers.
Q. Blood test results are not back.....but have probably been sent to The Diagnosis Detectives (monday 9pm, bbc2) as an medical mystery.
A. These things cannot be rushed. I take my health seriously. I'm about to embark on a new life again did you all know? When the lab is done with my blood test, they're going use the leftover for a vaccine for stupidity. I'm such a generous moo moo.
Q. Where is the 'not free' greenhouse? We are missing the growing season!
A. Alitex said it would take 16 weeks. Morons. I shouldn't have to wait. I'm such a sad moo moo. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet unlike all of you. The roses are wilting. The violets are dead. The sugar bowl is empty. And so is my head. I can write poetry too @Oops...
Q. Who was the winner of the GHD hair straightener/curler giveaway?
A. The giveaway was for all to enter from every walks of life. I won.
Q. Were the raised beds installed last week month as promised?
A. Not yet. Someone told me I should apologise to the plants for keeping me alive first. I'm on plant #9 then I lost count. Double figures confuse me.
Q. Have you seen your mother yet....and given her the Globy kit "that she needs"?
A. My mother needs more than an independent tool kit to cure her. She didn't introduce me to the 3 step Clinique regime did you all know? I was neglected. And homeless. She's so fugly even maggots ghost her.
Q. What's happened to the outdoor kitchen plans?
A. Still begging! I NEED an outdoor pizza oven. NOW. Cawwee only said the other day that I'm a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. She's knows me so well.
Q. When are you going to tell us more about your art collaboration? When will we see the art work you COMMISSIONED? Collaboration would suggest you are an artist too!
A. I am an artist. Well my face is like a modern work of art at least. You can't tell what it is.
Q. Has your veg delivery been redirected to somebody more deserving?
A. Yes. To someone who actually likes veg.
Q. Where is the bedroom redesign you teased us with?
A. There's no teasing in the bedroom I can assure you that. The only thing lower than my IQ is my husband's penis.
Q. Have you visited your Nonna yet? Just an innocent question....no need to delete!
A. Who's Nonna?
Q. Has the 'oak' porch been approved or are you growing the timber?
A. You're such a silly moo. I can't grow timber. I'm dumber than a block of wood. And not nearly as useful.
Q. What's happening to the house front facelift?
A. Abandoned. I'm saving up for a real facelift now. Whenever I eye-fuck myself in the viewfinder, my husband keeps telling me my face looks like a painting of a ball sac by a monkey on crack.
Q. Why is your husband on holiday with another man and cutting up his food?
A. I said hella no to a baby so he's adopted a man child.
Q. When can we "officially" see the new sage bag that we know you bought?
A. In 2025 when I next
Q. When will the dressing room company be back to beg for forgiveness and redo all their mistakes?
A. Soon. Now that shitbag on legs Josie has finally revealed her dressing room I can copycat. I hate her. And her house. I'd buy the land she walks on if it meant I could shoot her for trespassing. Well that's if I could afford it. Bitch Lumi stole all my money.
Love Lydia xx