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AllAboutTheMayhem
VIP Member
Like fuck did she skinny dip. Too lazy. But I guess she needs to perpetuate the narrative that they have a wildly erotic & adventurous sex life.
Unfortunately the “ skinny dip” suggestion only conjures up an image of Mr geriatric baggy ball bag floating in the darkness, whilst one of Lorna’s extensions solemnly floats by.
Unfortunately the “ skinny dip” suggestion only conjures up an image of Mr geriatric baggy ball bag floating in the darkness, whilst one of Lorna’s extensions solemnly floats by.
Its_Me
VIP Member
Indeed she is. I have some intel, gather around….
Confirmed by an insider they flew yesterday afternoon to MALDIVES for 18 nights. John booked and paid for the flight, so it was no surprise.
Hi Lorna, stop pretending you’re inflight now you’ve been there 15 hours already.
LadyLockdown
VIP Member
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT?
Perriwinkle
Member
Ladies honestly stop getting yourselves all wound up with this shit shows life !
So she’s on a 50k holiday in the Maldives so what she’s still a stumpy little twat and he’s still a smelly old postuled fucker (probably not even a word but you get my drift)
Leave them to it pair of absolute dickheads.
He knocks me sick and she’s got shit hair - end of.
So she’s on a 50k holiday in the Maldives so what she’s still a stumpy little twat and he’s still a smelly old postuled fucker (probably not even a word but you get my drift)
Leave them to it pair of absolute dickheads.
He knocks me sick and she’s got shit hair - end of.
AllAboutTheMayhem
VIP Member
After the success (cough cough) of Marbs, our Yawna decided we needed more skincare and evvveerrrrr so kind brands sent discount codes that you could only use on her “swipe up”. Weirdly you can find these codes anywhere on the internet, mainly cashback sites that lets US EARN the commission.
More lies from loony - she stated she’s NEVER had botox, just profhilo ( despite her forehead never moving) and one of our TITS magically produced evidence of her confirming she DID have botox.
There’s been some very suspect lunches with the overpriced denim woman Donna Ida who designs clothes for Prison Cell Block H, who cannot make a successful business even if it slapped her around the chops. We are waiting on the inevitable collab here. One brown nosing desperado to another.
She took to walking the streets with a green shirt, pink strappy heels exposing her trotters, arse and flange – people were screaming in all directions the damage it caused.
Raisin legged it as soon as he could find the key to his chains & apparently went on a “lads” weekend to LaMans, with dry bread & wine in plastic cup. We suspect he was creeping around on his own looking for anyone to talk to “help me, I’m being told to steam clothes”.
She spent a weekend with her rent
-a-friends - ( probably mid-week) as all her stories are pre-records because she is so famous now.
Her rent-a-friends were compliant, wearing her polyester “don’t go near a fag or you go up in flames” clothes, whilst she single handily decreased the value of Chanel by a third by wearing head to toe Chavtastic Chanel.
She dropped £20k at Chanel (Sales Assistant – “can you just leave”) and bought another “I love myself so much” Cartier love bangle.
Next, to make herself relevant she faked a spa weekend away with her mum, which included pictures of her sitting in the car with creased tatty green shirt, Hula Hoops and Coke, this is proof guys ! She promptly went back into Horsham Heights and showed us an image of an immaculate hotel room and view, no breakkie eggs or coke.
We know you didn’t stay there this time.
More tat bought, tan on, tan off
More tat bought, tan on, tan off
I feel like we are in a Karate Kid movie
Now it seems poor Boo is really sick, she finally realised this after he was pissing everywhere, not eating, not walking. The vet would have prescribed a stress free life for the Boo but she promptly booked him for a groom where he was pulled about, yep that is stress free alright. But the hatchet job was more kitchen scissors as the groomer NEVER confirmed she actually did the mess; poor dog
So what is the girl to do, take time out think about the dogs needs before her own? of course not, just more #AD AFF link to coats, make up & shoes.
In-between “I Ask myself questions” Lorna took another freebie trip in a ME me me me and me hotel with her only friend that puts up with her, Nicole. Her sweaty face zoomed into the camera to give us life size view of her very inflamed skin, inch thick make up and frizzy orange hair topped with tutti fruiti - Battenberg inspired, creased up polyester wear. The event they got “invited” to turned out to be at the ME hotel, and necking the free bar before moving onto the restaurant based, yep you guessed it, in the hotel that was obviously another freebie. The hotel also provided a linked room for OMR to sleep in, ( what the hell?) because Queen baby must be accompanied at all times.
Bingo was a full house – balloons, pissing angel, ME hotel, chanel bags, BV, DHL van.
After a stressful shopping trip, off she went to Paris for a Givenchy PR stay. It soon became evident that no personal invite was in her bag, she was Tag-A-Long Tessie. She had no PR gifts, was sharing a room with Nicole and looked like the bin had thrown up on her.
Refused to remove the rats tails for a blowy, made some rude remarks on the shit makeup, wouldn’t learn the name of the Givenchy perfume and made more derogatory remarks about the Raisin. She must have been fuming she didn’t get the gifted lipstick pack.
No one and we all repeat, NO ONE, can live such a repetitive life and find it fulfilling. We all call it before she does.
However exciting news the dog is still alive (we think), the Fillet is returning and we are off to Paris (again). Eyes down for a Bingo Paris special edition.
Season #30 starts now…….
Title by @Ohmydays and thread summary by @pinknorris
More lies from loony - she stated she’s NEVER had botox, just profhilo ( despite her forehead never moving) and one of our TITS magically produced evidence of her confirming she DID have botox.
There’s been some very suspect lunches with the overpriced denim woman Donna Ida who designs clothes for Prison Cell Block H, who cannot make a successful business even if it slapped her around the chops. We are waiting on the inevitable collab here. One brown nosing desperado to another.
She took to walking the streets with a green shirt, pink strappy heels exposing her trotters, arse and flange – people were screaming in all directions the damage it caused.
Raisin legged it as soon as he could find the key to his chains & apparently went on a “lads” weekend to LaMans, with dry bread & wine in plastic cup. We suspect he was creeping around on his own looking for anyone to talk to “help me, I’m being told to steam clothes”.
She spent a weekend with her rent
-a-friends - ( probably mid-week) as all her stories are pre-records because she is so famous now.
Her rent-a-friends were compliant, wearing her polyester “don’t go near a fag or you go up in flames” clothes, whilst she single handily decreased the value of Chanel by a third by wearing head to toe Chavtastic Chanel.
She dropped £20k at Chanel (Sales Assistant – “can you just leave”) and bought another “I love myself so much” Cartier love bangle.
Next, to make herself relevant she faked a spa weekend away with her mum, which included pictures of her sitting in the car with creased tatty green shirt, Hula Hoops and Coke, this is proof guys ! She promptly went back into Horsham Heights and showed us an image of an immaculate hotel room and view, no breakkie eggs or coke.
We know you didn’t stay there this time.
More tat bought, tan on, tan off
More tat bought, tan on, tan off
I feel like we are in a Karate Kid movie
Now it seems poor Boo is really sick, she finally realised this after he was pissing everywhere, not eating, not walking. The vet would have prescribed a stress free life for the Boo but she promptly booked him for a groom where he was pulled about, yep that is stress free alright. But the hatchet job was more kitchen scissors as the groomer NEVER confirmed she actually did the mess; poor dog
So what is the girl to do, take time out think about the dogs needs before her own? of course not, just more #AD AFF link to coats, make up & shoes.
In-between “I Ask myself questions” Lorna took another freebie trip in a ME me me me and me hotel with her only friend that puts up with her, Nicole. Her sweaty face zoomed into the camera to give us life size view of her very inflamed skin, inch thick make up and frizzy orange hair topped with tutti fruiti - Battenberg inspired, creased up polyester wear. The event they got “invited” to turned out to be at the ME hotel, and necking the free bar before moving onto the restaurant based, yep you guessed it, in the hotel that was obviously another freebie. The hotel also provided a linked room for OMR to sleep in, ( what the hell?) because Queen baby must be accompanied at all times.
Bingo was a full house – balloons, pissing angel, ME hotel, chanel bags, BV, DHL van.
After a stressful shopping trip, off she went to Paris for a Givenchy PR stay. It soon became evident that no personal invite was in her bag, she was Tag-A-Long Tessie. She had no PR gifts, was sharing a room with Nicole and looked like the bin had thrown up on her.
Refused to remove the rats tails for a blowy, made some rude remarks on the shit makeup, wouldn’t learn the name of the Givenchy perfume and made more derogatory remarks about the Raisin. She must have been fuming she didn’t get the gifted lipstick pack.
No one and we all repeat, NO ONE, can live such a repetitive life and find it fulfilling. We all call it before she does.
However exciting news the dog is still alive (we think), the Fillet is returning and we are off to Paris (again). Eyes down for a Bingo Paris special edition.
Season #30 starts now…….
Title by @Ohmydays and thread summary by @pinknorris
MirandaPriestly
Well-known member
Could she be any more foul, shallow and disgusting…
3 weeks in the Maldives and she needs something to look forward to #NOWORDS
3 weeks in the Maldives and she needs something to look forward to #NOWORDS
Attachments
AllAboutTheMayhem
VIP Member
Make friends at the pool house?
Imagine you’re relaxing in the Maldives, admiring the views and peace.
You look up and see this pair approaching, her: horrific fake tan & hair extensions, him: a grandad the colour of a burned oven chip wearing old suede slip-on shoes.
You’d just say your goodbyes and jump in the sea. No brainer. Getting eaten alive by sharks would be the preferred alternative all day long.
Imagine you’re relaxing in the Maldives, admiring the views and peace.
You look up and see this pair approaching, her: horrific fake tan & hair extensions, him: a grandad the colour of a burned oven chip wearing old suede slip-on shoes.
You’d just say your goodbyes and jump in the sea. No brainer. Getting eaten alive by sharks would be the preferred alternative all day long.
LittleBirdie
VIP Member
Totally agree she’s obsessed with having material things but let’s not make it about not having kids - can’t stand the woman but that should be off limitsGoing on holiday to fill the void of not having a family - just having “things”. Her life is soulless. Keep it chav - you make me even more glad to be me
With all this time hopping she does, does anyone think she ever posts anything live? I reckon all the stories are 24 hours behind so that she can edit the shit out of her little orange trotters.
annabelle_bronstein
VIP Member
So they passed their pcr tests ‘with flying colours’ - there’s only two possible outcomes you dumbos 
Missnosey123
Member
Call me over sensitive but….. Johns apparent “caption” bullshit seems quite a unhealthy comment to make “if you feel hungry you might be thirsty try rose then see how you feel” this can be read and taken very wrong and considering she has had an ED previously. I might be being a bit ridiculous here but it’s like promoting drinking and not eating in my eyes
LittleBirdie
VIP Member
Can someone please have a word with the girl in the pic? Genuinely concerned if the highlight of her trip to one of the most beautiful and culture-filled cities in the road was meeting Lumberjack Loona and her idea of the perfect man is a wrinkly old sugar daddy!
miss trixie
VIP Member
Hey Ladies
. Still here - haven't disappeared into the wide blue yonder (or the Maldives), just not been very well. Have been catching up on the thread though & wanted to thank you all for giving me a good old chuckle-fest. Your comments have really had me laughing (always the best medicine) so thanks to all you lovely lot.
Anyway, here we are & what to say??? The FoK-ers go to the Baldies! I haven't been following the Loons & Lurch show closely so have been doing catch-up there too. Could a trip (of a lifetime?) be any more underwhelming or uninspiring? Celebrates her husband's milestone birthday avec Burgers & Bodyguard?!?! Still, it will undoubtedly have been served by their butler, so all is twinkling in LuxeLand. Pitiful creature travels thousands of miles to subsist on burgers & booze & spend endless time on her phone. Its hysterical and tragic in equal measure. Surely the catering team at the resort can sort out some curry & mash for our Chavette. Still, Twinkle Trotters will at least have something to look forward to upon her return home as she's on-line shopping. You couldn't make it up, could you. Err, what about looking forward to seeing her Mum & her poorly dog on her return home? SMH. There is quite some time yet remaining, so I'm eagerly anticipating her donning a pair of her big bird shoes.
Anyway, enough from me. I need to go & confer with my butler over today's menu.
Laters.
Thisshizisbananas
Member
We called it! She’s a f**king liar! Telling her followers in a bitchy manner that she’s naming the coat StaMford! Oh my god she’s such a twat! We knew ITS would change it to the correct name.
Attachments
Same stuff different day
VIP Member
Didn’t she say this whole trip was a surprise for John? That he was so excited to find out where they were going?
Now she says he did a spread sheet. She really needs to keep better track of her lies.
Now she says he did a spread sheet. She really needs to keep better track of her lies.
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balenciagandburgers
Active member
Been there done that 
Attachments
miss trixie
VIP Member
Can someone please explain to me how "date night" works, when you're together 24/7 and don't have children? Or does it just come under the heading of more IG BS?
CouldYouNot
Well-known member
This is perhaps the creepiest picture she’s ever posted of them.
also rolling out ‘that was a nice marriage’ AGAIN
also rolling out ‘that was a nice marriage’ AGAIN
Attachments
pink_norris
VIP Member
Tragedy - when your clothes are shit and your man’s a dick, tragedy
