After the success (cough cough) of Marbs, our Yawna decided we needed more skincare and evvveerrrrr so kind brands sent discount codes that you could only use on her “swipe up”. Weirdly you can find these codes anywhere on the internet, mainly cashback sites that lets US EARN the commission.
More lies from loony - she stated she’s NEVER had botox, just profhilo ( despite her forehead never moving) and one of our TITS magically produced evidence of her confirming she DID have botox.
There’s been some very suspect lunches with the overpriced denim woman Donna Ida who designs clothes for Prison Cell Block H, who cannot make a successful business even if it slapped her around the chops. We are waiting on the inevitable collab here. One brown nosing desperado to another.
She took to walking the streets with a green shirt, pink strappy heels exposing her trotters, arse and flange – people were screaming in all directions the damage it caused.
Raisin legged it as soon as he could find the key to his chains & apparently went on a “lads” weekend to LaMans, with dry bread & wine in plastic cup. We suspect he was creeping around on his own looking for anyone to talk to “help me, I’m being told to steam clothes”.
She spent a weekend with her rent
-a-friends - ( probably mid-week) as all her stories are pre-records because she is so famous now.
Her rent-a-friends were compliant, wearing her polyester “don’t go near a fag or you go up in flames” clothes, whilst she single handily decreased the value of Chanel by a third by wearing head to toe Chavtastic Chanel.
She dropped £20k at Chanel (Sales Assistant – “can you just leave”) and bought another “I love myself so much” Cartier love bangle.
Next, to make herself relevant she faked a spa weekend away with her mum, which included pictures of her sitting in the car with creased tatty green shirt, Hula Hoops and Coke, this is proof guys ! She promptly went back into Horsham Heights and showed us an image of an immaculate hotel room and view, no breakkie eggs or coke.
We know you didn’t stay there this time.
More tat bought, tan on, tan off
More tat bought, tan on, tan off
I feel like we are in a Karate Kid movie
Now it seems poor Boo is really sick, she finally realised this after he was pissing everywhere, not eating, not walking. The vet would have prescribed a stress free life for the Boo but she promptly booked him for a groom where he was pulled about, yep that is stress free alright. But the hatchet job was more kitchen scissors as the groomer NEVER confirmed she actually did the mess; poor dog
So what is the girl to do, take time out think about the dogs needs before her own? of course not, just more #AD AFF link to coats, make up & shoes.
In-between “I Ask myself questions” Lorna took another freebie trip in a ME me me me and me hotel with her only friend that puts up with her, Nicole. Her sweaty face zoomed into the camera to give us life size view of her very inflamed skin, inch thick make up and frizzy orange hair topped with tutti fruiti - Battenberg inspired, creased up polyester wear. The event they got “invited” to turned out to be at the ME hotel, and necking the free bar before moving onto the restaurant based, yep you guessed it, in the hotel that was obviously another freebie. The hotel also provided a linked room for OMR to sleep in, ( what the hell?) because Queen baby must be accompanied at all times.
Bingo was a full house – balloons, pissing angel, ME hotel, chanel bags, BV, DHL van.
After a stressful shopping trip, off she went to Paris for a Givenchy PR stay. It soon became evident that no personal invite was in her bag, she was Tag-A-Long Tessie. She had no PR gifts, was sharing a room with Nicole and looked like the bin had thrown up on her.
Refused to remove the rats tails for a blowy, made some rude remarks on the tit makeup, wouldn’t learn the name of the Givenchy perfume and made more derogatory remarks about the Raisin. She must have been fuming she didn’t get the gifted lipstick pack.
No one and we all repeat, NO ONE, can live such a repetitive life and find it fulfilling. We all call it before she does.
However exciting news the dog is still alive (we think), the Fillet is returning and we are off to Paris (again). Eyes down for a Bingo Paris special edition.
Season #30 starts now…….
Title by @Ohmydays and thread summary by @pinknorris
More lies from loony - she stated she’s NEVER had botox, just profhilo ( despite her forehead never moving) and one of our TITS magically produced evidence of her confirming she DID have botox.
There’s been some very suspect lunches with the overpriced denim woman Donna Ida who designs clothes for Prison Cell Block H, who cannot make a successful business even if it slapped her around the chops. We are waiting on the inevitable collab here. One brown nosing desperado to another.
She took to walking the streets with a green shirt, pink strappy heels exposing her trotters, arse and flange – people were screaming in all directions the damage it caused.
Raisin legged it as soon as he could find the key to his chains & apparently went on a “lads” weekend to LaMans, with dry bread & wine in plastic cup. We suspect he was creeping around on his own looking for anyone to talk to “help me, I’m being told to steam clothes”.
She spent a weekend with her rent
-a-friends - ( probably mid-week) as all her stories are pre-records because she is so famous now.
Her rent-a-friends were compliant, wearing her polyester “don’t go near a fag or you go up in flames” clothes, whilst she single handily decreased the value of Chanel by a third by wearing head to toe Chavtastic Chanel.
She dropped £20k at Chanel (Sales Assistant – “can you just leave”) and bought another “I love myself so much” Cartier love bangle.
Next, to make herself relevant she faked a spa weekend away with her mum, which included pictures of her sitting in the car with creased tatty green shirt, Hula Hoops and Coke, this is proof guys ! She promptly went back into Horsham Heights and showed us an image of an immaculate hotel room and view, no breakkie eggs or coke.
We know you didn’t stay there this time.
More tat bought, tan on, tan off
More tat bought, tan on, tan off
I feel like we are in a Karate Kid movie
Now it seems poor Boo is really sick, she finally realised this after he was pissing everywhere, not eating, not walking. The vet would have prescribed a stress free life for the Boo but she promptly booked him for a groom where he was pulled about, yep that is stress free alright. But the hatchet job was more kitchen scissors as the groomer NEVER confirmed she actually did the mess; poor dog
So what is the girl to do, take time out think about the dogs needs before her own? of course not, just more #AD AFF link to coats, make up & shoes.
In-between “I Ask myself questions” Lorna took another freebie trip in a ME me me me and me hotel with her only friend that puts up with her, Nicole. Her sweaty face zoomed into the camera to give us life size view of her very inflamed skin, inch thick make up and frizzy orange hair topped with tutti fruiti - Battenberg inspired, creased up polyester wear. The event they got “invited” to turned out to be at the ME hotel, and necking the free bar before moving onto the restaurant based, yep you guessed it, in the hotel that was obviously another freebie. The hotel also provided a linked room for OMR to sleep in, ( what the hell?) because Queen baby must be accompanied at all times.
Bingo was a full house – balloons, pissing angel, ME hotel, chanel bags, BV, DHL van.
After a stressful shopping trip, off she went to Paris for a Givenchy PR stay. It soon became evident that no personal invite was in her bag, she was Tag-A-Long Tessie. She had no PR gifts, was sharing a room with Nicole and looked like the bin had thrown up on her.
Refused to remove the rats tails for a blowy, made some rude remarks on the tit makeup, wouldn’t learn the name of the Givenchy perfume and made more derogatory remarks about the Raisin. She must have been fuming she didn’t get the gifted lipstick pack.
No one and we all repeat, NO ONE, can live such a repetitive life and find it fulfilling. We all call it before she does.
However exciting news the dog is still alive (we think), the Fillet is returning and we are off to Paris (again). Eyes down for a Bingo Paris special edition.
Season #30 starts now…….
Title by @Ohmydays and thread summary by @pinknorris
