jenny2603
VIP Member
She's got a copy of the Metro in her pants, even a short walk to the front door is challenging.
- Notice
Lumpyspaceprincess
VIP Member
Oh she won’t be happy with this
Lazarus
VIP Member
Whoever is doing the mousaka, good luck working this one out.
Peel and finely chop the onion and garlic, and pop into a large pan with the oil. Cook on a medium heat for a few minutes to soften, then tip in the tomatoes, wine, lemon, herbs, salt and pepper. Fill a mug with water and pop it on the side. Bring it to the boil, then reduce to a simmer.
Peel and finely chop the onion and garlic, and pop into a large pan with the oil. Cook on a medium heat for a few minutes to soften, then tip in the tomatoes, wine, lemon, herbs, salt and pepper. Fill a mug with water and pop it on the side. Bring it to the boil, then reduce to a simmer.
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
I just looked at Veganish on Amazon and it turns out there's a photo of her looking gormless in an egg chair. Veganish indeed. A tofu chair if you please.
Thank you to @Lumpyspaceprincess and an unknown second frau for the thread title. You both win a Harvester mixed grill with salad bar option, so step forward to claim your prize.
The last thread closed with Jack waxing lyrical over the joys of a large mixed doner with all the trimmings when sober. She’s just Jack, with extra chillies on the side, waiting for someone to snog her. Wild!
Several Jack thread members have foolishly accepted the poisoned chalice of the chance to make one of Jack’s recipes, in honour of her imminent book release (Thrifty Kitchen). A thread has been made for any further posts.
Please say ‘thread title’ when nominating one and please let me sleep without thinking of Pepsi-burped ‘snogging’ (and please add to the recap!)
The last thread closed with Jack waxing lyrical over the joys of a large mixed doner with all the trimmings when sober. She’s just Jack, with extra chillies on the side, waiting for someone to snog her. Wild!
Jack Monroe #423 The only TV show Jack Monroe needs to be on is Crimewatch
From the vegan yorkies recipe: that word doesn’t mean what you think it means, Jack… Why do the publishers never sub edit her ramblings?
tattle.life
Several Jack thread members have foolishly accepted the poisoned chalice of the chance to make one of Jack’s recipes, in honour of her imminent book release (Thrifty Kitchen). A thread has been made for any further posts.
Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe
A thread to document and discuss the challenges and chaos of making one of Jack Monroe’s many ‘recipes’.
tattle.life
Please say ‘thread title’ when nominating one and please let me sleep without thinking of Pepsi-burped ‘snogging’ (and please add to the recap!)
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
She legit said in a radio interview that her last meal would be herself because she reckoned she'd taste delicious. I kid you not.
LittleMissMuffet
Chatty Member
I know everyone has moved on slightly (and I’ve just caught up to the slop along and I’ve got fomo because I’m on permagrunk) but that patreon “apology” - I’d expect something that mediocre had it been 6 maybe 8 months but IT WAS TWO YEARS. For two years she has been happily collecting with no remorse. To then play it down as a “small” regular income. Fuck me.
Dogmuck
VIP Member
I think the problem is, most hearty/flavoursome, meat dishes do require long slow cooks to give them that depth and richness (especially if they are tomato based ), mince obviously takes a lot less time to cook compared to chunks of say stewing steak/cheap cuts but really anything that’s got a lot of liquid from stock/tomatoes needs the cooking time for reduction and infusion to really give it that depth of flavour. Lots of folk turn to those type of meals in the winter for comfort/nutrition. No stew based foods are going to be cheap on energy, it’s really quite a scary thought that even people who know how to budget and bulk out these traditional peasant type meals, with pulses and veggies, to stretch it out and reduce the cost per portion, have to consider the extortionate cost of cooking it. I don’t think any chef has the answer on those type of meals because you just can’t reduce cooking time if you want authentic taste. I was raised on this type of cooking because we were poor, mince,onions, carrots and potato was recycled daily from potato hash, cottage pie, mince and tatties, potato hash with pastry top (we’d literally have that combination every day), but there was a lot of us and it’s what we had plus bread and marge (we couldn’t afford butter Jack!) but the cost of cooking it was never the issue, the issue was if my mum could afford to buy those ingredients and make them last out the week until my dad was paid.
I’m traditionally a big bulk cooker, I make lots of soups/bolognaise/stews and freeze them, I’m not a poor and even I’m watching my smart me spinning around like a Jack Monroe on snow and crapping myself. The reality is that most will have to weigh up the cheaper shop (so mince, tinned tomatoes, root veg etc) and the energy cost v ready meals/more expensive food and the cost to store and heat it. No chef including our smol pixie has the specific answer to this yet because there’s no universal formula for everyone. It’s going to be a matter of taking the relevant tips from all sources and working out what works best for you/your family.
What I do know for sure is I’d rather put my faith in a trained chef with decades of experience who has provided some absolute winners for my family than some charlatan with zero experience.
ETA - I see many ninnies have made similar points already
Lucky Escape
VIP Member
The twitter bio for the person who posted that says that they're a retired dentist - so likely to be fairly well off and to be in receipt of a substantial pension. And they're telling people on UC that bulk cooking isn't for the likes of them? Fuck off.
DisgruntledGoat
VIP Member
Wow, she really did a “if you stopped buying avocado toast and subscribing to Netflix you could have a house by now” but with that fuckin ugly hat. Tory.
Interesting that the hat has never been seen again since Harold made his escape
colouredlines
VIP Member
I think this is it exactly. I know some people think she's sitting on a secret fortune, but it really seems like she's actually just terrible with money and spunks it up the wall the second she gets it.I thought her whole shtick was that she couldn't afford it due to grinding poverty, not that it was about saving pennies for years to buy expensive hats
Really told on herself there, I reckon she just carelessly spunks all her money on expensive shit every month and then ends up with nothing to live on, so feels justified in pretending to be poor because it's a long slog until the next patreon cash drops.
That's what led to the original Poverty, and it's what's led to every subsequent tip jar rattle over the years. She has no concept of saving and her idea of investment is buying designer clothes. She raised 68k in her Kickstarter, and "came out as skint" a year later. Her panicked mega-beg at the start of covid was clearly someone with a grand total of 0p tucked away.
It's interesting that she has never once acknowledged this, and indeed claims to be good with money.
hooplifehero
Chatty Member
Then they came for The White Company. Then Games Workshop. Then they came for Jo Malone
Lazarus
VIP Member
What I’ve noticed from reading a few of Jack’s recipes is the amount of food she’s wasting, or not eating whilst it’s fresh. Is this because in reality she prefers to buy takeaway or ready meals?
In the Lazarus pesto I’m making she says at the start of the story that:
a large black bunch of mint in the fridge, some sticky soggy parsley and a clump of basil that had seen better days.
(Aware she’s probably filtered the photo, but the pesto looks quite vibrant and certainly not like it was soggy parsley and black mint)
She finishes the post with:
I want to try a coriander and lemon pesto too – and judging by the flagging bunch in the fridge, I might just get the chance to..!!
That’s just one recipe. Others have soft bendy carrots, sad looking mushrooms, potatoes with eyes. I mean, why is she letting fresh food decay in the fridge?
And just to say, I love using fresh herbs when I’m cooking, but id rarely have mint, basil, parsley and coriander all at once, going off. It seems such a waste of money.
In the Lazarus pesto I’m making she says at the start of the story that:
a large black bunch of mint in the fridge, some sticky soggy parsley and a clump of basil that had seen better days.
(Aware she’s probably filtered the photo, but the pesto looks quite vibrant and certainly not like it was soggy parsley and black mint)
She finishes the post with:
I want to try a coriander and lemon pesto too – and judging by the flagging bunch in the fridge, I might just get the chance to..!!
That’s just one recipe. Others have soft bendy carrots, sad looking mushrooms, potatoes with eyes. I mean, why is she letting fresh food decay in the fridge?
And just to say, I love using fresh herbs when I’m cooking, but id rarely have mint, basil, parsley and coriander all at once, going off. It seems such a waste of money.
That Forensic Man
VIP Member
For those not following the slopalong thread just crossposting today's slops 
@Day3TShirt's Soda bread - Link
@IcanSpellBéchamel's Brie and Bacon Risotto - Link
@definitelynotvlad's Crappucino - Link
@Kittypops' Easy Zero-Waste Veg-Peel Stuffing Roast - Link
@Shimmering's Peanut Butter Frozen Yoghurt - Link (to be continued)
@dickanddom's Microwave mac ’n’ cheese - Link
Other recent slopalongs:
@OwlChampagne's Bread, Bean & Fennel Stew - Link
@HaveTinCanRattle's Peanut milk rice pudding - Links: (1) (2) (3) (4)
@House of Carbonara's 5 minute bread - Links: (1) (2)
@Day3TShirt's Soda bread - Link
@IcanSpellBéchamel's Brie and Bacon Risotto - Link
@definitelynotvlad's Crappucino - Link
@Kittypops' Easy Zero-Waste Veg-Peel Stuffing Roast - Link
@Shimmering's Peanut Butter Frozen Yoghurt - Link (to be continued)
@dickanddom's Microwave mac ’n’ cheese - Link
Other recent slopalongs:
@OwlChampagne's Bread, Bean & Fennel Stew - Link
@HaveTinCanRattle's Peanut milk rice pudding - Links: (1) (2) (3) (4)
@House of Carbonara's 5 minute bread - Links: (1) (2)
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Zelda
Well-known member
Her sneaky likes of people slagging off Jamie have tested my last nerve.
It was gracious in the extreme for him/his team to acknowledge her - he didn't have to.
He's not perfect, but he is trying to do something good and I found his advice very useful and clear (unlike etc. etc.)
And, my Harold and I have actually followed the Bolognese tips this weekend, as we've cooked meals to take over to my father-in-law*. It works really well with lentils. Delicious as well as cheap, highly recommended. My top tip: a bit of balsamic vinegar if you have it in.
* Apologies, this means I am in no way prepared for the Slopathon yet.
Jelly Bean
VIP Member
Ah. A nice story about Mom on Desert Island Discs now with Richard E Grant. When his wife was very ill with cancer Nigella would taxi over home cooked food every Sunday for them 