There’s no cream in carbonara! This is the hill I will die on. It’s egg yolks, pecorino, pasta, guanciale/pancetta and black pepper and nothing else. FFS.
Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe
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There’s spinach in every one of hers I’ve seen too, chucked into the pasta water at the end.
GRIM! I just saw this in her vinegar and soda water recipe. ”come over all Gillian McKeith on you…”
Jack, I can safely say that NOBODY wants you to do that on them.
ETA thank space you for the carbonara dear @Notmycat interestingly parts of that are verbatim for the one she makes pumpkin Rob too.
SWEET JESUS!!!!
I have never watched this before but that sauce 🫣 no wonder she never got asked back really, Matt had to keep prompting her about different things you could use
At least soil would add some flavour.
Absolutely correct, dear
.
If a date made me that, the only reason I’d be heading to bed was for a carby nap.
duck sake that recipe is longer than Ulysses.
ROSEMARY????? Where to even start, ffs.
Rosemary. Does. Not. Belong. In. Pasta. Unless you are a barbarian with no taste or understanding.
Ew ew ew.The sprout scones reminded me of this Jack collection of festive leftover recipes.
Christmas dinner leftover recipes for Boxing Day
Wasting food isn’t an option for most, so we asked crafty cook and poverty campaigner Jack Monroe how to make the most of festive trimmings on Boxing Day including turkey and Brussels sproutswww.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk
Sprout pesto or sprout pizza anyone? Not trying to get in your niche @Notmycat but sharing as I thought someone may like to try cooking one of these "delights".
She also has an incomplete recipe for leftovers tarts, in it she explains how to make shortcrust pastry by rubbing in the fat and flour, adding the water and then the next instructions are to tip onto a floured worktop and "knead for a few minutes". There would be nothing "short" about Jack's pastry, it would be as hard as a board! It should just be gently brought together, wrapped and chilled for about half an hour.
Not only are her combinations revolting, she truly has no understanding of the basics (but you already know that.)
Forgot to add yesterday that, same as her instructions for the shortcrust pastry, if she had kneaded the scones 'for a few minutes' she could have used them as hockey pucks. Thrifty!
She's never made either, the liar.
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That vindaloo recipe 
One large aubergine and 100g of lentils - serves 2-4? Are her friends playmobil people.
Also I’d like to know where the 6 mile run fits in with the terrible arthritis diagnosis timeline.
One large aubergine and 100g of lentils - serves 2-4? Are her friends playmobil people.
Also I’d like to know where the 6 mile run fits in with the terrible arthritis diagnosis timeline.
I shall be attempting the t*atbreads later on today, dear heart. Let's see if I am clever enough to follow the instructions.@Notmycat could you please post the book version of Come to Bed Carbonaraaa? I’ve got the one that was printed in the Guardian but want to be sure it’s the same as the book one
if anyone else is in a carbonaraaa mood, here’s one. You grate interchangeable cheese over it to finish it and rescue with a roux if it splits. Why rosemary and cream are staples of her carbonaraaas and why Rob is part of her family for pumpkin purposes “the family pumpkin” I could not tell you.
Also, here are Jack’s twatbreads for anyone who fancies following the direction to make “a rough hole” then ”pour in the yeasty water” and yogurt to make your dough.
Tw*tbreads, 4p [VG/V/DF*]
I joke that ninety-seven percent of the spontaneous conversations that my friends start with me – especially mid afternoon or early in the evening – are panicked cookery conundrums, photographs of …cookingonabootstrap.com
Half way through this thread an absolutely loving the commitment of the Fraus - more it seems than the effort Jack put into a lot of these recipes
I’m laughing at her reading this knowing she can’t reply criticise it as she’ll draw peoples attention to it and all you’re doing is making her recipes to the letter
I’m laughing at her reading this knowing she can’t reply criticise it as she’ll draw peoples attention to it and all you’re doing is making her recipes to the letter
Apologies if this has already been mentioned, but I’m a bit behind on this thread - has the ‘headrush spaghetti’ been attempted yet? I would do it myself, but it’s a non vegan recipe and I‘m not sure about veganising it.
I
Head Rush Spaghetti
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LJC, would somebody please SLOP SOMETHING?
I've been waiting for literally days now for crappy hand tats and can only assume that you want me to DIE.
Some of you aren't doing 100 hr weeks and it SHOWS. Do you have lives or summat?
I've been waiting for literally days now for crappy hand tats and can only assume that you want me to DIE.
Some of you aren't doing 100 hr weeks and it SHOWS. Do you have lives or summat?
This thread is nuts. Anywhere else you’d assume banana, tea & chickpea curry was a piss take but I’m never actually sure when it’s Jack.
Tattlers! Whilst baby mini ninny is gently sleeping, and rain has left us housebound, me and my OH went on a culinary adventure of the Crappucino. Here’s how it went!
we had no whole milk and using SBs oat milk felt wasteful, so semi skimmed it was. I don’t think it would have made a difference. The “recipe” says to add oats, then ice, milk, coffee & sugar - I used a full tablespoon of each - why not just say “put all ingredients in and blend”? This was the blended result:
I did not need to add water to loosen it as the recipe suggested I might.
How did it taste? Dire. A full tablespoon of coffee is too much, it was incredibly bitter even with the tablespoon of sugar, it gave me a headache. It was the texture that really made it awful though, I blended it for the few seconds suggested and then did a few more for good measure, but the oat lumps remained. I don’t know what everyone else looks for in an iced coffee, but I’m not after grainy oat lumps. I think the only possible use for this drink would be as a pre-colonoscopy cleanse? OH said he would give it minus points if he could, we’re having cups of tea now instead.
Total cost: 0p as I had all the ingredients in already and therefore do not have to include the cost in my performative weekly shop.
Marks out of 5: 1/5, better as a drain unblocker or if you want to give yourself a headache for some reason.
we had no whole milk and using SBs oat milk felt wasteful, so semi skimmed it was. I don’t think it would have made a difference. The “recipe” says to add oats, then ice, milk, coffee & sugar - I used a full tablespoon of each - why not just say “put all ingredients in and blend”? This was the blended result:
I did not need to add water to loosen it as the recipe suggested I might.
How did it taste? Dire. A full tablespoon of coffee is too much, it was incredibly bitter even with the tablespoon of sugar, it gave me a headache. It was the texture that really made it awful though, I blended it for the few seconds suggested and then did a few more for good measure, but the oat lumps remained. I don’t know what everyone else looks for in an iced coffee, but I’m not after grainy oat lumps. I think the only possible use for this drink would be as a pre-colonoscopy cleanse? OH said he would give it minus points if he could, we’re having cups of tea now instead.
Total cost: 0p as I had all the ingredients in already and therefore do not have to include the cost in my performative weekly shop.
Marks out of 5: 1/5, better as a drain unblocker or if you want to give yourself a headache for some reason.
Was just explaining the slopalong to my 10yo daughter and showed her some of the recipes. “Her house probably smells disgusting after making all of those things!”
Out of the mouths of babes
Out of the mouths of babes
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