Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[Country Bumpkin]

So someone on the haunted bird app is asking for help because her £20 weekly shop isn't going far enough and the poor woman is starving. I'm flippin angry that bloody Jack thinks she can get away with promoting this with it obviously not working. Shut the stupid woman up, she's going to cost lives.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

My thanks and tributes to all those posting on the Slopalong. It's a fascinating and hilarious experiment. And it seems fair, too, in that everyone is trying their best to make it edible and judge it positively if at all possible.

It's a beautiful but also disgusting thread thanks to Jackslop. I was shocked at how bad my attempt turned out and I'm not a bad baker. But the other meals that have been tried are also proving to be substandard in a variety of ways. The thread is obviously a lot of fun but it's also a valuable experiment because we are proving that Jack's recipes are untested, don't work, waste food, fuel, time and money, are calorie deficient and completely inedible. It's a horrific waste of paper and ingredients to champion her fake recipes. The media are complicit cunts for enabling her shitslop.I bet she just sits there and googles random foods to pair with others. Or steals existing recipes to wildly tweak and pass off as her own. All untested of course. She has no clue about food or economy.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Yes, absolutely.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I know we’re not meant to be posting tweets about her on here but this one re: the constantly changing narrative of The Pov (etc) is GLORIOUS

 

[GriftyPixie]

I’d really love for her to be called out on the illness cosplaying but realise that’s probably difficult as there is no way of knowing that at least some of them are real. From memory, she’s suffered from:-

- Autism
- ADHD
- A heart condition
- Chronic depression
- Anxiety disorder
- An unspecified eating disorder
- An unspecified disability
- Ehlers Danlos Syndrome
- insomnia
- PTSD
- Alcoholism
- Some ailment that renders walking with a cane necessary (a cane that has since disappeared into the ether)
- Rheumatoid arthritis
- “Suspected osteo” - does she mean arthritis or osteoporosis. Could be both. Could be neither.
- Long covid
- A frozen shoulder
- Multiple bouts of laringitis
- Multiple chest infections
- Multiple temperatures
- Multiple bouts of Bronchitis
- Crumbling teeth “from the poverty induced malnutrition”
- Bones grinding to dust from the HARD WORK!
- Breadcrumbing CANCER
- Benign tumours on her back
- Almost fatal anaphylactic shock
- Unspecified allergies
- Inter-sex / hermaphroditism
- Something weird with her labia (SORRY GUYS!)

She’s an absolute munchie.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

A squig has just pointed out that Southend Vineyard's foodbank only accepts donations via PayPal.

She could have ringfenced the money in a Metro account because you can pay from a bank account through PayPal (which is what she's done) but that still doesn't explain why she would omit the date or not demonstrate she ringfinced it appropriately if that's what she did. It would stop a lot of the questions.

If that is the case, it never needed to hit her bank account at all. Teemill pays into PayPal only, the foodbank accepts donations via PayPal?! So as soon as it came into PayPal, it could go out to them. There was NO (LEGITIMATE) REASON WHATSOEVER to move it into her bank account. Dodgy fucker.

Yet again a five minute perfunctory google could have told her this. Then she could have posted a dodgy screenshot of her PayPal and avoided providing evidence of yet more questionable antics around OTHER PEOPLE’S CASH!!! This fool couldn’t even cover up a needle with an entire field of fucking haystacks.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Interestingly, March 4th IS the day Jack would have received her newly big patreon payout after Nigella boosted the numbers through Jan/Feb.

It was a busy day for Jack.

Also, we ever find out what this was? (7th Mar)

 

[jenny2603]

The vile abuse* of the Southend Vineyard has started. This is Jack's worst nightmare.

*asking reasonable questions that wouldn't need to be asked if Jack wasn't so shifty.

 

[Thank(space)you]

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Squig who is convinced that nobody on UC can afford 750g mince (instead suggesting 250g - to serve 12 - which is a really difficult size to buy in supermarkets) is superciliously telling people they haven’t been poor.

Frauen… squig is a retired dentist.

I am on UC (I work part time so UC tops up my wages) and I bought minced beef, sausages and bacon this week. Makes you think

 

[The carlin]

Leggy is a cabbage patch doll come to life isn’t she.

She seems very boorish. Gives me Boris Johnson in knickers vibes

ETA: totally agree with Helena above

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

That bit about drinking formula is my absolute aneurysm. Actually her whole single motherhood thing is.*

What really pisses me off is that - even if it were true (it isn’t - SB was a year and a half when the poverty started so she wouldn’t have been given formula for him), a single working class mother who was living in poverty who chose to feed herself rather than her child would have raised safeguarding concerns. They weigh your baby and if a baby is failing to gain (failure to thrive), you get interventions.

Also, I find it absolutely chilling that she wrote this down as an example of how desperate she was, never once thinking ’oh hang on, this makes it look like I’m starving my baby which isn’t a good look’. Really it’s psychopathic behaviour and it’s very disturbing that she can’t see that.

* I know other people have said all this but I had to join in as a single mother. It really fucking disgusts me how she uses him for sympathy but actually doesn’t give a shiny shit about him. Poor kid. His mother is a monster.

 

[Country Bumpkin]

So many people are recommending Jack's food to her.

This is exactly the reason I'm angry. Her portions are not enough, the calorie content are pitifully low. People recommending her have probably never even tried to make and eat her slop either. It's dangerous

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

On a mad grunk but jumping in with Jack's perception of class and also the real version.
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Mom: I look down on him because I am upper class.
THAT MAN: I look up to Nigella because she is upper class. But I look down on Jack because she is lower class. I am middle class.
Jack: I know my place. But I don't look up to him as much as I look up to her, because he stole my cooking show and she is my dear heart.

Mom: I have plenty of money, both old family money and from my culinary empire. But I sometimes look up to him because he succeeded without all the privileges I've had in life.
That Man: I still look up to Nigella because even though I'm self-made, I am vulgar. But I am not as vulgar as Jack, so I still look down on her.
Jack: He looks down on me because I'm a heavily tattooed, transgender, single parent lesbian and third-generation immigrant with an ouchy mouth. And because I'm a smol pixie.

That Man: We all know our place, but what do we get out of it?
Mom: I get more money I don't really need, but it's nice to have.
That Man: I get Turkey Twizzlers pulled out of schools.
Jack: I get Cotswolds sideboards, Burberry scarves, Mulberry bags, and a toaster with TOASTER emblazoned on the side. Please note I still don't have a toaster.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I can’t remember where it was but I’ve seen Jack trotting out the old thing about how if you give children a range of foods from early on they won’t be fussy eaters. This is only ever said by people who haven’t had the experience of parenting a child who just will not eat anything other than a very narrow range of foods, no matter what you offer them.

 

[The carlin]

But when did Jamie say his recipes were specifically for people on UC?
Of course his recipes aren't for everyone and don't address the fuel/food costs crisis across the board - but that is why there is a thing called choice and people can look to other sources for help.
Jack is being a sneaky little twat here. No wonder most other chefs/food writers won't have anything to do with her.

And quoting from the slopalong thread @That Forensic Man has found a jack recipe for roasting a single beetroot for 75 minutes! So she can effoff with her performative crap about everything should be for a wee pov surviving on a tenner a week performance.

 

[Shimmering]

I will never not laugh when I remember that she was unceremoniously dumped by the OH she described as "refreshingly ordinary"

 

[Mr Krabs]

Maybe she’s nipped in to see her friends in the ICU.

She’s serenading them with a quivery version of Shakespear Sister’s Stay as we speak. One of the other patients woke up just so they could unplug themselves.

 

[Geetbo]

I have to say I am considering getting a chest freezer as mine is quite small so I struggle to batch cook. I wonder if this is how the descent into being a slop cooking grifter begins.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

All this talk of Snogging has Jack got a new film out?

 

[moldwarp]

I thought this was a Frau doing a piss take . But no, it’s sadly real

Same!! My god did she really think this was deep and meaningful??? Is she TWELVE?!?!

Jack my sweet summer child. Private enterprises going bust is not the same as publicly funded services being underfunded. One is part of our democratic social contract, the other is not.

Jessops going bust is the free market economy in healthy action, discarding things that the consumer no longer desires and offering more useful and more desirable things in their place. You know Jack, a bit like people used to think your recipes were useful and desirable. But then they tried them. And realised they were foul slop. So bought a Miguel Barclay book instead.