Jack Monroe #182 Extraneous brine

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @Harrybosch and @Hollaaa for the thread title! Your prize: a sharing plate of this. (Heavy breathing optional extra). No excuses, Harry - it’s vegan!

Recap of previous thread:

1. Jack found her lost Tile. She live tweeted various methods to retrieve it. She kicked it. It came free. End scene.
2. Tile joins the long list of stupid companies willing to give her something for nothing.
3. Jack apparently sent out a blog email with a link to a Protected jackfruit version of her pineapple chicken. By mistake. So don’t try to get into it. It’s top secret. The password is [redacted by the Kremlin].
4. Yum. The anticipation is more delicious than the food will ever, ever be.
5. Stop all the watches. It’s coming! Just not today, OKAY?
6. Del Monte’s latest Jack ‘Exclusive’. Charred. So dry.

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.

There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.

New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Congratulations to @Harrybosch and @Hollaaa for the thread title! Your prize: a sharing plate of this. (Heavy breathing optional extra). No excuses, Harry - it’s vegan!

Recap of previous thread:

1. Jack lost her Tile. She live tweeted various methods to retrieve it. She kicked it. End scene.
2. Tile joins the long list of stupid companies willing to give her something for nothing.
3. Jack apparently sent out a blog email for a Protected jackfruit version of her pineapple chicken. By mistake. So don’t try to get into it. It’s top secret. The password is [redacted by the Kremlin].
4.Yum. The anticipation is more delicious than the food will ever, ever be.
5. Stop all the watches. It’s coming! Just not today, OKAY?
6.

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.

There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.

New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

Redacted by the Kremlin

 

[colouredlines]

"Extraneous brine" should be the top secret password that gets you into cabal meetings.

 

[Emmapism]

'The brambly mice have returned to the hedge for winter'

*Nods in acknowledgement*

 

[Malkiavelli]

Okay, just skimming through and haven't fully delved into the previous thread - quick question, the blob thing being poked on the plate, assuming that was at least theoretically to be eaten? Looked like someone had decided to disturb one of those spider nest/spawn things, only to find that all of the young spiders were actually dead and what was left was the decomposing remains of something that was going to be spiders...

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Choking on my banana bread with walnut hat at the thread this morn. What on earth. Agree that the comic kitchen-level security protected recipe seems like it's some kind of trap.

 

[CuriousCat92]

So much for @

Sorry toddler got my phone. I meant to say what happened to “one and done” now Jack double/triple test recipes? Did some good come out of DKL saga? Or are they being as inconsistent as ever?

 

[Captainmouse]

Congratulations to @Harrybosch and @Hollaaa for the thread title! Your prize: a sharing plate of this. (Heavy breathing optional extra). No excuses, Harry - it’s vegan!

Recap of previous thread:

1. Jack found her lost Tile. She live tweeted various methods to retrieve it. She kicked it. It came free. End scene.
2. Tile joins the long list of stupid companies willing to give her something for nothing.
3. Jack apparently sent out a blog email with a link to a Protected jackfruit version of her pineapple chicken. By mistake. So don’t try to get into it. It’s top secret. The password is [redacted by the Kremlin].
4. Yum. The anticipation is more delicious than the food will ever, ever be.
5. Stop all the watches. It’s coming! Just not today, OKAY?
6. Del Monte’s latest Jack ‘Exclusive’. Charred. So dry.

Spoiler: Housekeeping

Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.

There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.

New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

redacted by the Kremlin

 

[ScamSandwich]

"Extraneous brine" should be the top secret password that gets you into cabal meetings.

Also strong modern art show (that nobody can make sense of) vibes when Hoxton was cutting edge.

 

[Malkiavelli]

redacted by the Kremlin

Hahaa, Jesus! Just saw the burnt pork, duck me does she get paid for this shite?? Hahaha, it’s like a photo from some sort of kitchen-mishaps website..

and re the double resting followed by the description of what sounds like a triple testing: didn’t she get it the wrong way round? She said:

1-Try 2-Measure 3-tweak

where the more obvious sequence would surely be:

1-try 2-tweak 3-Measure.. surely?

can smell bullshit...

 

[HotesTilaire]

So much for @

Sorry toddler got my phone. I meant to say what happened to “one and done” now Jack double/triple test recipes? Did some good come out of DKL saga? Or are they being as inconsistent as ever?

It’s gone schrodinger- it is both untested and tested 2-3 times. Don’t YOU mess with it on your first attempt!!!

 

[Legionnairess]

Spoiler: Vegan pork thingy

I’m jumping ahead as I want to go back to the vegan pork abomination. It looks like one of those pimple videos on FB and TikTok

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

If that's a triple tested recipe, wtf was it like on the first go?

 

[Malkiavelli]

Sometimes I genuinely wonder if it’s not all just one big piss-take, as in the jokes on us type of thing...she calls herself a food expert, that’s her own words yet today alone what she has produced looks positively revolting and clueless - even the charred pork thing, it’s clear that she hasn’t practiced that dish and just knocked it up quickly to meet a deadline - unbelievably unprofessional. I’m a tree hugging veggie but even I could do better than that, it’s clear even to someone who doesn’t eat the stuff that the bleeping thing has been prepared wrong. She’s parodying a ‘celebrity chef’ for shits, giggles and irony... surely?

 

[Legionnairess]

Today whilst walking the dog I happened again upon a DEAD little baby bird. Fallen from its nest and turned inside out. Mendacious fraus i shed a salty (any old salt will do, even the bath ones) tear at the sight of it. Alone.

 

[Toffee finger]

Redacted by the Kremlin

So much for @

Sorry toddler got my phone. I meant to say what happened to “one and done” now Jack double/triple test recipes? Did some good come out of DKL saga? Or are they being as inconsistent as ever?

That was then this is now etc etc

 

[HotesTilaire]

Today whilst walking the dog I happened again upon a DEAD little baby bird. Fallen from its nest and turned inside out. Mendacious fraus i shed a salty (any old salt will do, even the bath ones) tear at the sight of it. Alone.

Lambs born, baby bird passes away. It’s the circle, the circle of life. Unless a serial slopper takes your dead carcass and desecrates it.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Pineapple hat? Been there, done that weeks ago. Typical Jack, always showing up when the party's already over.

As others have said, the nutritional content of her wretched vegan meals is woefully inadequate but then again most of her other barely edible recipes are similarly lacking. I could (theoretically, if there was really nothing else available) eat the entirety of the behatted jackfruit and mushroom monstrosity myself and that's not me being LOL I'M SUCH A GREEDY GOBLIN, there's just nothing to it. It's mostly carbs which are the worst macronutrient for promoting satiety. She could use vital wheat gluten to bind the jackfruit together, it's relatively cheap and has 75g protein per 100g. For reference, jackfruit has 1.7g and mushrooms have 3.1g per 100g. Seitan has gone mad on TikTok for some reason so I'm sure we'll get a seitan recipe some time in 2035. Brought to you by #vegansagainstjackfruit

 

[Eurgh]

Pineapple hat? Been there, done that weeks ago. Typical Jack, always showing up when the party's already over.

View attachment 538323

As others have said, the nutritional content of her wretched vegan meals is woefully inadequate but then again most of her other barely edible recipes are similarly lacking. I could (theoretically, if there was really nothing else available) eat the entirety of the behatted jackfruit and mushroom monstrosity myself and that's not me being LOL I'M SUCH A GREEDY GOBLIN, there's just nothing to it. It's mostly carbs which are the worst macronutrient for promoting satiety. She could use vital wheat gluten to bind the jackfruit together, it's relatively cheap and has 75g protein per 100g. For reference, jackfruit has 1.7g and mushrooms have 3.1g per 100g. Seitan has gone mad on TikTok for some reason so I'm sure we'll get a seitan recipe some time in 2035. Brought to you by #vegansagainstjackfruit

I'm not on TikTok but I am mad for seitan. Thanks for the heads up, will have a look...

 

[SarcasticEllis]

I’m sure “extraneous brine” had the 1pm King Tuts Tent slot one Saturday at T in the Park 2002.