Jack Monroe #182 Extraneous brine

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colouredlines

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traumatised sideboard said:
Pineapple hat? Been there, done that weeks ago. Typical Jack, always showing up when the party's already over.

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As others have said, the nutritional content of her wretched vegan meals is woefully inadequate but then again most of her other barely edible recipes are similarly lacking. I could (theoretically, if there was really nothing else available) eat the entirety of the behatted jackfruit and mushroom monstrosity myself and that's not me being LOL I'M SUCH A GREEDY GOBLIN, there's just nothing to it. It's mostly carbs which are the worst macronutrient for promoting satiety. She could use vital wheat gluten to bind the jackfruit together, it's relatively cheap and has 75g protein per 100g. For reference, jackfruit has 1.7g and mushrooms have 3.1g per 100g. Seitan has gone mad on TikTok for some reason so I'm sure we'll get a seitan recipe some time in 2035. Brought to you by #vegansagainstjackfruit
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Imagine sitting down to dinner in mixed vegan/omni company. I get a big slab of pork belly full of fat and protein, you get a lump of jackfruit with some spices and some weird garlic jelly thing. It may look superficially similar (if you're Jack), but you've got a piece of fruit as the main component of your dinner. That is just fucked up.

(I used to work with a fruitarian though. He would be happy with this, I guess? But he was a very odd man indeed.)
 
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PoorPatrol

PoorPatrol

traumatised sideboard said:
Pineapple hat? Been there, done that weeks ago. Typical Jack, always showing up when the party's already over.

View attachment 538323

As others have said, the nutritional content of her wretched vegan meals is woefully inadequate but then again most of her other barely edible recipes are similarly lacking. I could (theoretically, if there was really nothing else available) eat the entirety of the behatted jackfruit and mushroom monstrosity myself and that's not me being LOL I'M SUCH A GREEDY GOBLIN, there's just nothing to it. It's mostly carbs which are the worst macronutrient for promoting satiety. She could use vital wheat gluten to bind the jackfruit together, it's relatively cheap and has 75g protein per 100g. For reference, jackfruit has 1.7g and mushrooms have 3.1g per 100g. Seitan has gone mad on TikTok for some reason so I'm sure we'll get a seitan recipe some time in 2035. Brought to you by #vegansagainstjackfruit
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I just read that as ‘Satan has gone mad on Tik Tok’ - it must be my weird little pixie brain.

Jackfruit curry can be great, but it’s the curry that’s doing the heavy lifting in the recipe. I’d be adding crunchy peppers and other stuff to give it interest. I don’t see how the mushrooms and jackfruit are doing anything together in the Protected Patty™️, apart from becoming tasteless slime.
 
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traumatised sideboard

traumatised sideboard

How would she know if anyone emailed her? She either can't access them or doesn't read the bloody things! I choose to believe that Caroline and her hands are back to take care of her emails and this hasn't been entirely fabricated for the purposes of embiggening her importance and relevance to reap adoration from her audience of sycophantic squigs.

I know it's not true but I want to believe ☹
 
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heretoreaditall2019

heretoreaditall2019

She could knock the charred bits off that pork and softly fold them into it the dregs of oil from a jar of artichoke to create a reinvigorating body scrub.

Look after the pennies and the 3 week getaways really do come rolling in
 
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Clovis

Clovis

Oh, I love the thread title. One might even say that it sums up her life's work (if one were in a belligerent fugue state).

Send doggos.
giphy (3).gif
 
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ChickenPorridge

ChickenPorridge

I see we're simultaneously reading/not reading emails again. Why must everything she posts reek so significantly of bullshit? Marvellous 😁
 
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Eurgh

Eurgh

PoorPatrol said:
Hi I’m Troy McClure Jack, you may remember me from such Tweets as ‘kickyball’ and ‘Boris is a liar’. Here’s my hot take on something I know duck all about!
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She didn’t even call him a liar! She said in that interview he was disingenuous and then pinned a tweet saying she’d called him a liar with a video clip proving she didn’t and said they’d swiftly wrapped up as she was so shocking! I think she actually believes the stuff she says.
 
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Sideboard Bob

Sideboard Bob

Eurgh said:
She didn’t even call him a liar! She said in that interview he was disingenuous and then pinned a tweet saying she’d called him a liar with a video clip proving she didn’t and said they’d swiftly wrapped up as she was so shocking! I think she actually believes the stuff she says.
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And then tagged the wrong Boris 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
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colouredlines

colouredlines

Marmalade Atkins said:
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Then you're doing a pretty terrible job as a commentator/activist, Jack. There are plenty of topics that make me angry. If someone asks me about them, I don't just respond with, "duck you, you bleeping fuckhead" and walk away.

If you're unable to articulate things, could it be time to look for a new job?

(Obviously, the tweet is a lie. But still.)
 
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