callurdadurinacult
Active member
I just wanted to express my gratitude for these threads. I came to Tattle on a whim when an IG account I follow was apparently being talked about. Never found mention of her, but I did find these GC threads and I've been catching up on almost all of them for the last week or so.
Last fall, my 15 yo son told us he was trans and you could have knocked me over with a feather. He's NEVER given us any indication of that, and I've been very open about that kind of thing practically his whole life. He had long hair until he was 4, grew it long again a few years ago, cut it all off and now he's growing it out again, but that's truly the most "feminine" thing about him. We always let him play with whatever type of toys he wanted, dress up however he wanted, etc. If he'd told me he was gay or even NB, I would've been much less surprised, but this blew his father and I away. There was ZERO indication of GD throughout his life.
We're both very left-leaning, been participants in the Woke Olympics in years past, swallowed all the propaganda hook line and sinker in the name of being a good person, but his announcement just felt WRONG somehow. After some long talks and lots of tears, it seems like the likeliest conclusion is he was influenced by a friend of his who was a girl, then MiF, and now NB. He's on the autism spectrum and has a problem with hyperfixation, so I think he probably began reading about being trans and got a little obsessed. Everything he was saying sounded JUST LIKE a script he'd seen online somewhere. I explained to him that at 15, it's very normal to feel confused about and a little grossed out by your developing body. I told him his dad and I had both been through the same thing, that I'd even experimented with self-harm because I hated myself at that age so much. I told him if he'd like to paint his nails or wear make up or borrow some of my clothes at home, he was welcome to, but there wasn't going to be any hormone treatments or surgery in his near future.
I tried to find a therapist who would help him tackle his underlying issues, because I believe this should be the basis of ALL trans treatment? The first one I spoke to literally made me feel like the world's worst mom for not immediately leaping to affirm his newfound identity because "this is who he is" and I would just need to accept it if I loved him. I never spoke to her again. In the course of reading and reading and READING to try and understand how this whole thing came out of nowhere, I came across ROGC and GC discourse and holy shit, did I peak. Unfortunately, my entire friend circle is super woke and I have never been able to talk about this with anyone other than my husband until now. I am 100% in support of treating everyone with dignity and respect, including those who are truly experiencing GD or those who just want to quietly live their lives as the opposite sex. But the pendulum has swung SO FAR that it feels like we're living in an alternate reality at this point. I am the same kind-hearted, generous, logical, giving, and respectful person I've always been, but if I were to try and have a rational discussion about the "trans trend," I would be labelled a TERF bitch and cancelled. It's madness.
Sorry for the book, but I am so happy to be able to get this off my chest in a relatively safe space! For the record, I love my child and would support him if he were truly trans. Since that brief episode, he hasn't talked about it again, although I've brought it up several times to see how he's doing. I told my husband he may revisit it once he gets older, and if he does, we'll tackle it then and love him regardless. I'm just so sick of seeing such a complex tangle of issues distilled into black and white identity politics.
(I haven't proofread this because I'm working, apologies for any typos!)
Last fall, my 15 yo son told us he was trans and you could have knocked me over with a feather. He's NEVER given us any indication of that, and I've been very open about that kind of thing practically his whole life. He had long hair until he was 4, grew it long again a few years ago, cut it all off and now he's growing it out again, but that's truly the most "feminine" thing about him. We always let him play with whatever type of toys he wanted, dress up however he wanted, etc. If he'd told me he was gay or even NB, I would've been much less surprised, but this blew his father and I away. There was ZERO indication of GD throughout his life.
We're both very left-leaning, been participants in the Woke Olympics in years past, swallowed all the propaganda hook line and sinker in the name of being a good person, but his announcement just felt WRONG somehow. After some long talks and lots of tears, it seems like the likeliest conclusion is he was influenced by a friend of his who was a girl, then MiF, and now NB. He's on the autism spectrum and has a problem with hyperfixation, so I think he probably began reading about being trans and got a little obsessed. Everything he was saying sounded JUST LIKE a script he'd seen online somewhere. I explained to him that at 15, it's very normal to feel confused about and a little grossed out by your developing body. I told him his dad and I had both been through the same thing, that I'd even experimented with self-harm because I hated myself at that age so much. I told him if he'd like to paint his nails or wear make up or borrow some of my clothes at home, he was welcome to, but there wasn't going to be any hormone treatments or surgery in his near future.
I tried to find a therapist who would help him tackle his underlying issues, because I believe this should be the basis of ALL trans treatment? The first one I spoke to literally made me feel like the world's worst mom for not immediately leaping to affirm his newfound identity because "this is who he is" and I would just need to accept it if I loved him. I never spoke to her again. In the course of reading and reading and READING to try and understand how this whole thing came out of nowhere, I came across ROGC and GC discourse and holy shit, did I peak. Unfortunately, my entire friend circle is super woke and I have never been able to talk about this with anyone other than my husband until now. I am 100% in support of treating everyone with dignity and respect, including those who are truly experiencing GD or those who just want to quietly live their lives as the opposite sex. But the pendulum has swung SO FAR that it feels like we're living in an alternate reality at this point. I am the same kind-hearted, generous, logical, giving, and respectful person I've always been, but if I were to try and have a rational discussion about the "trans trend," I would be labelled a TERF bitch and cancelled. It's madness.
Sorry for the book, but I am so happy to be able to get this off my chest in a relatively safe space! For the record, I love my child and would support him if he were truly trans. Since that brief episode, he hasn't talked about it again, although I've brought it up several times to see how he's doing. I told my husband he may revisit it once he gets older, and if he does, we'll tackle it then and love him regardless. I'm just so sick of seeing such a complex tangle of issues distilled into black and white identity politics.
(I haven't proofread this because I'm working, apologies for any typos!)
And it's not like a little bit of dick is going to put anyone off now, is it? Can't they just lie back and take it? Like a proper, non-transphobic lesbian is supposed to do?
