The Chateau Diaries #231 Liar land the land of Liars

[1twbnc]

Hello all! Stepping out of the depths of lurker -dom to throw in my two pence worth assessment of all the weird and not so wonderful characters of Château - verse. These threads have kept me very entertained over the years so thank you all for your witty and insightful commentary!

Fanny - little girl lost, covert narc. Mummy and daddy issues galore, and really an Oscar winning worthy actress pretending she loves all the tat sent to her by her adoring viewers. Clearly doesn't care for the farm anymore, but she has to keep the coins rolling in.

PhiPhi - underestimated by many. Machiavelli is his middle name (probably). By 2030, he will have his name on the deed for the farmhouse. Clearly barely tolerates his gf through gritted teeth. I doubt he loves China and brocantes as much as he pretends to.

Nutty and Cus - she is so blah there isn't anything to say. He is a wet blanket. The end.

Dan - living in Cuckoo land. OR top level schemer. It depends on if he really thinks he is going to restore that crumbling heap. Weird sexual tension with Fanny - yuck. She'd never go there because his class is too low.

Selmar - born in the wrong century. Would be happy being a peasant working the fields of Fanny. Terrible dental hygiene. Just a weirdo really.

Marie flower lady. Two words - grow up.

Scotsman - clearly Fanny's half brother. Very odd to make his nationality his entire personality (at least on camera) when he hasn't lived in the country for years? If you love Scotland so much - go back there.

Stay tuned for part Deux!

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Oh er someone on f/b has just posted this on Selmar’s page as he‘s put the selmargate vlog up again.
so sorry about this experience Selmar. You were there (but we did not meet) when I stayed at Lalande. We had a lovely weekend there but it didn't go down well with Natalia when she asked for honest feedback and we mentioned that although there was a tray of tea available when we arrived on the first day; it wasn't cleared away or replenished for the next days. There is such a big deal made of (normal) tea in the morning and the dirty cups from our arrival just sat there for our entire visit. The beds were not made and the room not cleaned. The shower didn't operate properly and you couldn't lean over to brush your teeth in the tiny shower room because the sink came to your knees and if you bent over you would hit the wall. The back window of our car had been prised open with a screwdriver and cracked in the car park. The breakfasts were chaotic and fairly random. There was even a bizarre scenario when we were asked on the morning of our departure if we would like to be waved off by Stephanie as if she was royalty... crikey.. We have spent weekends and holiday's with far more important and influential people and it would never occur to any of them to see the departure of anyone but as an obligation to say goodbye personally. It was beautiful and we did enjoy our stay but had a rather stiff response to our pretty valid comments (made purely because the cost was higher for bed and breakfast than their contemporaries and it's always good to know where things need to be improved) and told when we mentioned we would like to stay the following year that would be unlikely. I see that as bad management; and only mention because it sounds like the pot was calling the kettle black - as the saying goes. I can see that it would have been problematic if the chemistry wasn't right. You were there; we all know, when they needed you most. The place was absolutely on it's knees and they were isolated. We all saw and know what you did and it is absolutely unfair for anyone to behave towards a volunteer in that manner. I can see that the introduction would add to the frisson - and that is natural I am afraid in a house of communal living; but it is quite offensive that any manager should behave without due respect. If there was a problem that was for the owners to sort out in a civilised manner.

How long will this stay up?

 

[MsPitstop]

From Behind the Chateau Door's comment section. Mummy Stef must have taken over replying and PhiPhil sent to his room!


No sunshine
8 hours ago
@Bela Bells I was a patron, and deleted my account because of Caroline! So she made me a favour!




10




Reply

caroline gooder
6 hours ago
@No sunshine I don’t remember you but sorry…I guess.




1




Reply

No sunshine
5 hours ago
@caroline gooder you don’t remember me because you have offended so many people, and Stephanie just shuts everyone down. So there you go. I wasn’t in the cheap patron category either.




10




Reply

World of surprises
4 hours ago
Same here. Ex patron because of her. One question asked and she said I was a troll, laughing, very mean. In the end Stephanie or Phillip deleted my comment and I deleted my patron membership.




10

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Waddup, Yentas! My people are observing Pesach (Passover) starting today. I will be on before sundown but will be taking a break from Tattle for a few days. When I emerge from Pesach, it'll be a pain to have to read through an entire thread or two.
To those of you who observe Holy Week and Easter, I wish you all a meaningful time!

The weather's a little gloomy over my parents' country house today.

 

[KyBourbon]

Happy Easter! A photo of the arrangement I made for Easter brunch. I’m not a professional, but I think it turned out nice!

 

[Clara Burnett]

With yet more festivities rapidly approaching, I would like to remind Stephanie Jarvis: remember Mmakhotso Moloi? She is still dead. The fundraiser for the poor girl's family that you so generously "spiked" and promoted under your loyal fans who looooooove gift giving has reached 1814 dollar, a bleak comparison to your own gifted monthly income. My message? May you rot in hell for how you used this girl. You went way too far and you damn well know it. You can pretend it's all forgotten and added to your dirty past, but please know there's many people who'll remember.

 

[Clara Burnett]

I realize this is going against the grain here but my heart hurts when I see this. We don't know what happened. I in no way think SJ had anything to do with her death. I have donated to scholarship funds and would hate it if something happened to the person I donated to and peeps on the internet decide I'm responsible for a death. I just don't see how y'all are coming to the conclusion that she is responsible for this beautiful girl's death. To me, this is going way over the line and heading into defamation.

Once again (to use one of your own favorite quotes) you are jumping to all sorts of conclusions, probably to stir the pot? Nobody here is saying Stephanie Jarvis is directly responsible for Mmakothoso Moloi's death. We criticise the fact that, even though she said she was sponsoring the poor girl's education, she did not know about the financial trouble she was in weeks before her death, trying to raise funding for school stuff and transport. We loath the fact that she pretended to be sad about the poor girl's death in one flog, but cheerfully received gifts in another, filmed on exactly the same day. We also have something to say about the fact that Stephanie Jarvis (she who owns nothing but was gifted everything) did not donate one dime of her own money to the poor girl's grandmother, in loving memory of Mmakothoso.
What we are talking about here is how Stephanie Jarvis, again and again, uses and abuses all information about the people she's somehow involved with, for the better good of herself.

 

[vitanova]

Oh er someone on f/b has just posted this on Selmar’s page as he‘s put the selmargate vlog up again.
so sorry about this experience Selmar. You were there (but we did not meet) when I stayed at Lalande. We had a lovely weekend there but it didn't go down well with Natalia when she asked for honest feedback and we mentioned that although there was a tray of tea available when we arrived on the first day; it wasn't cleared away or replenished for the next days. There is such a big deal made of (normal) tea in the morning and the dirty cups from our arrival just sat there for our entire visit. The beds were not made and the room not cleaned. The shower didn't operate properly and you couldn't lean over to brush your teeth in the tiny shower room because the sink came to your knees and if you bent over you would hit the wall. The back window of our car had been prised open with a screwdriver and cracked in the car park. The breakfasts were chaotic and fairly random. There was even a bizarre scenario when we were asked on the morning of our departure if we would like to be waved off by Stephanie as if she was royalty... crikey.. We have spent weekends and holiday's with far more important and influential people and it would never occur to any of them to see the departure of anyone but as an obligation to say goodbye personally. It was beautiful and we did enjoy our stay but had a rather stiff response to our pretty valid comments (made purely because the cost was higher for bed and breakfast than their contemporaries and it's always good to know where things need to be improved) and told when we mentioned we would like to stay the following year that would be unlikely. I see that as bad management; and only mention because it sounds like the pot was calling the kettle black - as the saying goes. I can see that it would have been problematic if the chemistry wasn't right. You were there; we all know, when they needed you most. The place was absolutely on it's knees and they were isolated. We all saw and know what you did and it is absolutely unfair for anyone to behave towards a volunteer in that manner. I can see that the introduction would add to the frisson - and that is natural I am afraid in a house of communal living; but it is quite offensive that any manager should behave without due respect. If there was a problem that was for the owners to sort out in a civilised manner.

How long will this stay up?

their beds were not make, their room not cleaned and somebody tried to break into their car. otherwise, it was a lovely weekend

who on earth would want to go back??!!

 

[Seeingitasitis]

BREAKING NEWS ACCOUNTS ACCOUNTS

I know you will all be delighted to learn, that whilst Ruby continues to find ever more ingenious places to take a surreptitious shit in Fanny’s study, he has, this time, excelled himself by managing download a copy of her ACCOUNTS. At the suggestion of her accountant, Jacques, he has asked her to divide her income into percentage spending:

Percentage income has been and will be spent on the following:

Travel – Fifty per cent. After all, I am only at the chateau half the time and half my Youtube output will now be travel.

Personal clothing, accessories and toiletries – Ten per cent. I don’t need to spend more as I am gifted so much but a girl still likes to spend.

Ruby – food, accessories, worming, flea treatments, vet – 0 per cent. Ruby is a wild animal and can fend for himself

Future Venice Property – ten per cent – one must have an eye to the future – my future

Eating out, tasting menus and McDonalds – ten per cent

Buying stuff I don’t need from the brocante and unscrupulous antique dealers – ten per cent

Buying Nick out (Formal Name: Lake Fund) – fifteen per cent. After three years, we are nearly at target for this

Chateau renovations: Five per cent. I was hoping for three but under pressure from Patrons, there is the heating

Future upkeep of the chateau – 0 per cent. I am bomb proof. My patrons will provide

Accountants Bill – don’t be daft – I never settle my debts

Personal charitable donation – 0 per cent. I do enough opening my gifts

Tax bill – tax bill? What tax bill? 0 per cent

Phillip has pointed out this does not add up to one hundred per cent. He makes it one hundred and ten per cent. But I am not worried. I will just tell my patrons and they will donate more.

 

[graciemckitten]

Caroline Gooder was an alias account started by Stephanie. Potts‘ ex girlfriend who carries around the baby doll nonstop called Potts “Caroline” as a nickname. Fanny uses the Caroline Gooder account as one of her Dump aliases to post comments and claims that Caroline Gooder is a woman from North Carolina. That is typical smoke and mirrors Fanny at work. Fanny uses the Caroline Gooder alias. Phi Phi also has used the same alias to post comments. Remember they have spreadsheets that they share at the Dump to keep track of their many aliases they use to post comments to try to control the narrative and defend the shittelaine. I think Potts, Stephanie, Phi Phi and Natty have all used the Caroline Gooder alias to respond and comment at times but it is primarily used by Fanny and phi phi. The buck stops with Stephanie Jarvis on any of the Caroline Gooder posts, as she has implicitly approved any postings under this alias by allowing the Dump crew to use the alias account that originated with her or under her guidance and control.

IMHO, today’s postings from Gooder seem like they are of Douche Lord origin. It seems like phi phi has been heavily “into the cups” and commenced his Pre Easter day drinking extravaganza earlier today. Phi Phi, wearing a dirty rabbit ear headband, is drinking and posting while clutching his newest stuffed hedgehog and cramming grifted chocolates into his mouth. No one is paying attention to him at the Dump because Grant and other guests have arrived. You can tell when he posts because he has a bad temper like brother from another mother Gerry. Phi Phi is an entitled little shit and loves to threaten people in the online forums and then cowardly races to frantically delete his posts. He is super sensitive to any comments and over reacts. He also loves to promote himself in any posts. Hence the reference to Phillip’s singing. So predictable.

Phi Phi avidly reads every word in this forum which has featured many comments about his diva behavior in the past 24 hours and how Maria could crush him like a gnat when he tried to do dominate /threaten her in the video about changes he made in the kitchen, etc. That is likely why he raced to watch the Gooder video and responded under the Gooder alias with threats to ” shut the channel down.” He is an idiot on his best day.

 

[graciemckitten]

The Shittelaine predictably comes down with an imaginary “cold/flu“ that has her on bedrest for the four full days prior to the arrival of the guests for Easter and requires incessant cups of soup and tea to be brought to her in bed ( and she cannot work at all to help prepare the Dump for visitors). It is amazing that she never seems to fall ill with a cold or a flu when she is on one of her coveted vacations. We have to listen to Snorts complain about having to cook for four days.

The mystery of who had to accompany the incompetent shittelaine to London, so she could travel to Dubai has been solved. The Douche Lord, evidently had to escort Fanny to London. We learned that Snorts stayed an additional couple of days in London in order to salivate over books and books of wallpaper coverings ( and likely score a few Tinder dates on the side). Did Snorts have to wait in London so he could pick up the Shittelaine at the airport and transport her back to the Dump after her two days of sexy time with Sir Chamber Pottie?

Snorts brings three or four samples back to the dump for Fanny to make her selection. Stephanie could care less that the dump is falling down. She only cares about decorating. She chooses yet another expensive wallpaper that she will inexpertly apply to the cracked walls. Why does she get to decorate the entire Dump when she only owns 50%?

I don’t know why Fanny loves the color yellow so much. It is not a flattering color on her. It clashes with her rosacea.

I think it’s crazy that with all the thousands of presents that the dump crew has openEd during cadeaux, that no one has ever sent them some cloth bags or baskets in which to put the baguettes that they purchase from the boulangerie. Instead, the dump crew insist on carrying the baguette, crushed against their dirty sweaters and picked up from the dirty interiors of the cars in which they ride. They are so gross.

AnnMarie had a tight smile and appeared tired and fed up with having to install the two dishwashers, and to be interviewed by the little pink phone. It appears that the only help that he received was from the guest from Australia. He seems very unhappy.

Everyone at the dump seemed very cold. They wore heavy sweaters, beanies, insulated vests, and coats. No one bothered to start a fire in the dining room until immediately prior to the meal so everyone must have been cold. Quite a contrast to the “boiling hot” dining room that Fanny bragged about a few months ago.

Fanny takes another stroll around the most expensive vegetable garden in France, where she points out every leaf and blossom that she can spot. Get ready for several months of her detailing every flower that blooms at the dump.

Maria is not impressed at all with Snorts, his improvements, shelves, and binning of the Spode.
I think she does not care for him at all.

Of course, Grant, the B&B guest, had to start the fire in the dining room, warm up the pizzas, and purchase and serve wine to the Shittelaine and Dump crew. So much for the Shittelaine “paying for all the food“ at the Dump. She lies as easily as she breathes. Freezing cold rooms, cold pizza, and grifted wine, it’s so LieLande! Welcome to B and B Season at the Dump! Rinse and repeat.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

She always “sick” when there’s work to be done, my lady F4F takes to her bed, but will be miraculously cured in time for Easter egg hunt

For Stephanie Jarvis, the ultimate Easter miracle is rising from the dead bed.

Sounds like a thread title.

 

[KyBourbon]

I agree that Stephanie is not personally responsible for Mmakhotso's death.
We don't know the facts.
However, I am contemptuous of the manner in which Stephanie used Mmakhotso's death for content.

I’m actually a little surprised we haven’t learned more about Mmakhotso’s death by now. Stephanie said she knows how Mmakhotso passed away, but she said she wasn’t going to share that information “out of respect for the family.” That excuse is a joke…SJ hasn’t shied away from sharing personal information (remember Dan and Annalise’s breakup?) or making people squirm in her videos by putting them on the spot. So, I don’t think it has anything to do with “respect for the family.” I don’t want to offend anyone but, in my gut, I think it’s because Mmakhotso took her own life. That’s just my opinion…and I have absolutely no proof or information to back up that claim. It’s just a guess because Stephanie is typically shameless about using situations to her advantage…If Mmakhotso had died from an illness or accident, I think SJ would have milked it for her own personal gain. If Mmakhotso did succumb to the stress and anxiety of school, responsibilities, and financial concerns, I think SJ bears some responsibility because although she paid for the scholarship, she didn’t make sure Mmakhotso had the right support. This may not be a popular post and I’m sure others will disagree.

 

[RubyT]

Selmar has put his blog up again and this person who has obviously stayed at the shit show had left comments

 

[Green Fairy]

Look, I know it's derailing but my wonderful grandaughter Gracie just got into Dartmouth with a full scholarship. We are all so incredibly proud of her. All her hard work paid off. Go Gracie

 

[Jules100]

My favorite part of Stephanie’s annual infamous eggstravaganza is the old bunny ears headbands. Being reused since at least 2012. Gross.

 

[KyBourbon]

The American version of LaLande. Take an ordinary, boring, nondescript building…throw on a turret…and call it a castle! You, too, can be a princess!


I wonder if the walls inside this turret are also painted red?

 

[RubyT]

---
Have they all got a screw loose
---
Have they all got a screw loose

 

[Hemerocallis]

Comment under the last video of Behind the chateau doors:

Someone has spoken a true word. Tattle knew it first:
Philip's Voice is Caroline Gooder.

 

[MsPitstop]

Oh er someone on f/b has just posted this on Selmar’s page as he‘s put the selmargate vlog up again.
so sorry about this experience Selmar. You were there (but we did not meet) when I stayed at Lalande. We had a lovely weekend there but it didn't go down well with Natalia when she asked for honest feedback and we mentioned that although there was a tray of tea available when we arrived on the first day; it wasn't cleared away or replenished for the next days. There is such a big deal made of (normal) tea in the morning and the dirty cups from our arrival just sat there for our entire visit. The beds were not made and the room not cleaned. The shower didn't operate properly and you couldn't lean over to brush your teeth in the tiny shower room because the sink came to your knees and if you bent over you would hit the wall. The back window of our car had been prised open with a screwdriver and cracked in the car park. The breakfasts were chaotic and fairly random. There was even a bizarre scenario when we were asked on the morning of our departure if we would like to be waved off by Stephanie as if she was royalty... crikey.. We have spent weekends and holiday's with far more important and influential people and it would never occur to any of them to see the departure of anyone but as an obligation to say goodbye personally. It was beautiful and we did enjoy our stay but had a rather stiff response to our pretty valid comments (made purely because the cost was higher for bed and breakfast than their contemporaries and it's always good to know where things need to be improved) and told when we mentioned we would like to stay the following year that would be unlikely. I see that as bad management; and only mention because it sounds like the pot was calling the kettle black - as the saying goes. I can see that it would have been problematic if the chemistry wasn't right. You were there; we all know, when they needed you most. The place was absolutely on it's knees and they were isolated. We all saw and know what you did and it is absolutely unfair for anyone to behave towards a volunteer in that manner. I can see that the introduction would add to the frisson - and that is natural I am afraid in a house of communal living; but it is quite offensive that any manager should behave without due respect. If there was a problem that was for the owners to sort out in a civilised manner.

How long will this stay up?

WOW!!! Great catch @Madame de Pompanddoodoo!

First, what the actual fuck does Nutty the Bully do? Well we all know that she bullies volunteers, but how friggin' hard is to host guests. It's your job.

Second, what part of Bed And Breakfast does Nutty not understand? The beds were not made
The breakfasts were chaotic and fairly random.
How on gods green earth can breakfasts for a weekend be random? Jeeze, I've stayed in a few five star hotels in France (thanks to work) and I was very happy with the French bread, ham and brie for breakfast!

Third, when we mentioned we would like to stay the following year that would be unlikely. Nutty turning away business.

Fourth, and what I loved the most, on the morning of our departure if we would like to be waved off by Stephanie
How many of those idiots who stay LieLie land actually say yes!