The Chateau Diaries #231 Liar land the land of Liars

[T Rex]

Good lord, while I have been busy (Luna the Diabetic Chiweenie is now a full-time job), I have been silently keeping up with you menopausal and hag lot, but then Selmar reposted to original "dirty-deleted" Nati rant vlog on his FaceBook out of no where... (And also the Chateau Chat/Chateau Teapot/Behind Chateau Doors collab, whaaat? Already subscribed! YASSS!)

Back to our wishy washy Selmar- cheese on toast man, tell it like it is, and quit hemming and hawing on whether to delete or not to delete- once you post it, it's on the internet forever. I am not sure what to believe anymore- is he doing this to gain more Patrons? Is he miffed he did not receive an invite to the glorious Easter celebration that everyone and their mother was invited to? I don't know- I wanted to believe he came to Tattle in earnest, but suspect it was to gain sympathy and was hoping we'd all subscribe to his Patron to fund his lifestyle- um no. Not cool. Stephanie could honestly give a rats behind, Herr Nuti is always going to be there like a bad fungus, and Selmar's name was not even mentioned on the Easter vlog, which probably pissed him off. He also stated on his FB that he is still living with Bill and Viv at Solanges, so he still has a home base apparently. @Selmar, if you are reading, no offense, but no one at La Lande gives two forks. If you want the truth out there, this is the place to vent. People can give you good advice, and be a sounding board. But if you are just looking to get more people to fund your life, this is NOT the place- we're not a bunch of rich bored grannies wanting to fund someone's lifestyle. If that were the case, we'd all have Fleurie candles in our homes (because they are so awesome) next to our hand-printed wallpaper that we drive our Teslas home to!

 

[Luna20]

I'm halfway through yesterdays flog and I had to stop.

A) Philip mentioned he stayed a day or so longer in London. a day or so? boy child you know exactly how long you stayed there cosying upto baghead. it's definitely not a ''or so''

b) They went through the little greene's collection of wallpapers, and SJ chose the yellow parrot wallpaper. PhiPhi hated the yellow so much, that he went through 10 wallpaper sample books to find one to his liking, even linking the bluebells from the forest to the wallpaper, mentioning it's so la lande! convincing SJ to go for the green/blues. Fanny new flues finds out about the same design with a pinkish background. which means PhiPhi Nostrils saw it and choose not to get a sample.

c)Claiming she is sick and walking around in a cold chateau with bare legs.... SO Fanny new Flues

d) Why the heck didn't they start hiring kevin to do shit loads of thing let's say in October? We have seen his face regularly the past few weeks.

e) what is the extensive to do list which PhiPhi has prepared for Jared to do? I want to see that list!

Ok I'm going back in!

 

[Rory]

I believe the plan is for Amaury (paid for by his parents of course) to take over Nic’s share of the chateau and eventually Stephanie’s. Why else would he move his entire life to the dump and stay there? If you can stomach it, rewatch Amaury’s Patreon interview. With this tid bit of knowledge, it will jump out at you too.

Well if that is the case I would think his girlfriend would do more to familiarise herself with the garden, cooking and running a basic business. Whilst Amaury may see the potential for self sufficiency within the chateau grounds, Natty is in no way the right partner for that aspiration. He is wasting the best years of his life (ie youth, no debt, no dependents, health) at the dump making radiator covers and waiting tables.

 

[JackSpratt]

The poor lamb.

Standing up there in his high heeled brocade boots (a gift from Tatty, that's now only good enough to do the painting in) saying he was going for a masculin/feminine look.............so no change from your normal dress code then you pillock! I'd like to think the lot from Puy Vidal only went so as they know how not to run a Chateau and how the hell did they cope in that over stuffed nightmare of a room! It's about time they all just grew up.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

I should imagine by the end of the day (I would if it were me) after having that twat lording over me while I worked my arse off, AnnMarie must be a gnats whisker away from punching him in the face. No wonder Nasty and him go out. Pavlina sitting their in her coat. Just how many of us sit down at home to eat a meal still a wrapped up for the outside, it must be so cold in that place. Still, what do I care, they all deserve to be miserable.

Literally, Snorty was standing there watching over Anmuary, and as Anmuary began to carry stuff out of the room Snorty actually moved forward towards the dishwashers to inspect the situation with an air of 'this better be up to my standards'.
I would have belted the little twerp. Anmuary has the patience of a Saint.

 

[Cleo's Asp]

Re Fanny saying that YouTube is her "job:

Real work, for which people receive pay, has to be carried out with professionalism and efficiency. It needs to be carefully planned, structured, and taken seriously. Workers are responsible for what they produce and are responsible to their employers who pay them. Fanny demonstrates, time and time again, that she is unaware of these requirements. If YT is her job for which she receives a very high salary each month, she is showing no respect for, or gratitude to her employers/patrons. She produces unplanned, shoddy vlogs with very little content. She is frequently unpunctual in getting them out and there is virtually no worthwhile content. Everything is left till the very last minute and she uses everyone else around to provide the content for her. She has absolutely no comprehension of what a real job involves. The only previous "job" she has ever had was working for Gerry's taxi service. I can only imagine how inefficient she must have been and Gerry, like the majority of her brainless patrons, let the pathetic little princess get away with it. She wouldn't last five minutes in any other paid employment, and this is an alleged Oxford graduate! Snorty is exactly the same. They both expect others to pay for their pointless existence while hardly lifting a finger themselves. It beggars belief that Fanny is being paid so much for virtually nothing at all, and she doesn't even use the money responsibly.

 

[M&MsMom]

They were just passing. Saw there was a bit of a do and thought they would mingle, winging it all the way.

Oh my God...this actually happened to me once. My husband and I went to Kentucky one summer (I think 2017?) because my family was having a family reunion. I have a HUGE family (my great grandmother had 18 kids!!) and I don't know a lot of them, either, mostly because my parents moved away from Kentucky when they got married. My husband and I stayed in a hotel for the first night, because we got in late and didn't want to interrupt anyone by coming into their home in the wee hours of the morning. We decided to just go on our own to the reunion, which was out in a rural area where one of my cousins lives. We saw a bunch of balloons tied to the mailbox by the side of the road and thought "YAY! We made it!"........we started saying hello to everyone and I thought it was strange that I didn't recognize ANYBODY. About 45 minutes later, I got a text from my great aunt asking where we were. I joyfully texted back "I'm here - where are you?"........

Turns out we needed to go a little further down the road. We were at someone's house we didn't even know! Oh my God, it was so embarrassing. We tried to leave and be stealth about it when someone came up to us and introduced themselves and it turned out to be the owner. We explained what had happened, and we had a great laugh! He was so nice to us and he knew my cousin very well, so everything was o.k. But I was so embarrassed!

 

[Cleo's Asp]

Re the Chinese takeaway wallpaper, on Monday's gift grab, you could see a clear white line, the gap between two lengths of wallpaper on the wall behind them. I think SJ has always been totally incapable of wallpapering a room without making a complete hash of it. The paper is awful but no doubt, like all the others she buys, it cost thousands. If you spend that much on wallpaper, surely it's worth making an effort to hang it correctly or get someone else to do it for you. It's impossible to believe that this woman is actually an adult. She's like a primary school child pretending to be a grown up.

 

[MsPitstop]

I think we all agree, from the comments section:

Kathy Richards
25 minutes ago
If it had been me, I would have redone the rear kitchen with stainless steel worktops and cabinetry. Much easier to keep clean, hard wearing and hygienic. Doesn't have to be expensive either. Similar to how Dick and Angel designed their working kitchen. I'm sure Maria would approve!

 

[Gertrude Maud]

Making the Easter Pie & Dinner – 6.40 minutes

• Natty is drying the sheets outside – what happened to the laundry service???
• Cuz finishes his work for the day while Snorty stands over top and inspects (THAT WOULD PISS ME OFF NO END)
• Snorty outlines his ideas for the Area Cuisine – he wants a new counter on 1 side with integrated bins (Fanny says they can't afford because of all the other projects like the chapel, GS and Lake...and her travel!!!). He also wants to install the new fridge they already have, but Fanny's not sure. Fanny clearly doesn't know how to fit that wee project into her busy travel schedule.
• Fanny burned one of her Easter pies!!!
• Eating dinner – Grant’s kids appear to be in shock, while Amuary & Natti are MIA (again)

So that's it Tattlers - how to fill 25 minutes with so much, yet so little content!!!
---

Kevin is outside in the sun and Grant is inside the freezing shitoo!

@Lady Avonlea, thank you so very much for updating us with pics and commentary.

 

[Jules100]

My favourite part of that flog was SJ pointing out that the bed in Phyllis’s study is usually never made up till now - yeah sure SJ. He’s a raging homosexual and we all know Phyllis couldn’t tolerate not having the bed made up. It’s like those lies she used to tell when they were travelling during the pandemic about having separate rooms. Except now they actually do have separate rooms because SJ can’t get rid of Phyllis. I’m sorry but that mincing gait through the kitchen and courtyard in the dungarees and boots was the gayest thing I’ve seen in quite a while and I had a dick in my mouth last night….

me too

 

[graciemckitten]

I hate those trees in the courtyard , especially the frames and now they have lite them up !
No taste.

Why would Anyone purchase wallpaper and paint for a dump that is going to fall down??? Oh, it looks like she is renovating so bringing in the $$$ .
Can't people see that and give their money to a proper charity!!!
That Australian family that travelled all the way to stay in that dump---- they are Nuts !
---
Bun Boy is looking very old and tired.
In fact, he looks More ill than Fanny.
I would be worried if I was him.

Bun boy has aged 20 years in less than 2 years at the Dump. He seems tired and fed up and he has to start waiting tables for the B and B season. He is essentially doing 90% of any work at the Dump to net his cuz Fanny hundreds of thousands of tax free dollars per year. He is wasting his youth, strength, and energy on the Shittelaine and the Dump. I think he will have a lot of regrets about his time at LieLande and prioritizing Cuz Fanny’s desires in the future. If he ever becomes unable to do all her shit work, she will toss him aside on a hot minute.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

I love this, but it made me angry when I first read that Caroline said "Then you'll know how powerful I am". I wrote something and I then deleted it.
She's such a loser. What an effing loser POS, whoever she is!
---

Whenever you see a threat like that you know either it’s from a powerless drone or someone with an inflated sense of self. Possibly both. Said threat is usually embarrassingly empty. Since we know PheePhee is an arrogant little toerag drunk on the petty power of the Fannyverse, it stands to reason CG is he. If no-Gooder really is a fan those fools have no idea just how potentially dangerous she is. If she showed up a la Dauphin Dubious and was treated the same, they might just find themselves murdered in their beds.

 

[Le Baiseur]

Finger is what she shows at her patreons for taking the money and doing nothing

Yup!

 

[JackSpratt]

Key takeaways:

1. Snorty is morphing more into a 50's housewife every day!

• sitting on his ass in the kitchen planning the cooking rota with the hired help
• directing Kevin on how to do the plastering in the Marquis Suite
• supervising Amuary's work on the dishwashers
• planning the layout of the Area Cuisine

Snorty didn't have any nail polish or brooches today. He was also unusually quiet but became very animated when, near the end of the vlog, he finally got to spell out his simple, cheap idea for the area cuisine (which Fanny quickly shot down). Wonder if Snorty is getting side-lined?

2. Anmuary & Natti are keeping their heads down, doing their work, not saying much and sticking to themselves in the evenings.

I should imagine by the end of the day (I would if it were me) after having that twat lording over me while I worked my arse off, AnnMarie must be a gnats whisker away from punching him in the face. No wonder Nasty and him go out. Pavlina sitting their in her coat. Just how many of us sit down at home to eat a meal still a wrapped up for the outside, it must be so cold in that place. Still, what do I care, they all deserve to be miserable.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

He eats duck pate daily.
Turkey …quite a lot too.
He’s and oddball if that.sitting there with his plastic dish of tuna, pasta and peaches.
How does she find him even bearable.

Some grabeaux gift ideas for Snorty which are worth the shipping cost just to put him in his place and shut him up.

 

[Clara Burnett]

That tablecloth is hideous! And the tapered candles in the tall candleholders are only about an inch tall! I guess Fanny is too cheap…has to burn the candles as long as possible. THIS is the Christie’s tastemaker?

View attachment 2087557

I can also tell you that those tulips came from the supermarket and indeed, they were NOT bought by Stephanie Jarvis.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Yes, I think Natti’s insecure, but I also think they really didn’t know most of the people at the party very well. So they might have just felt more comfortable sitting together. It’s actually sad…for me, Easter is about getting together with family and close friends. It’s not about seeing how many strangers or acquaintances I can invite to film for my vlog.

Natti is the Manager of the B&B. Her primary task is interfacing with strangers, welcoming newcomers who are staying in your home, catering to guests every need, providing friendly customer service and making all guests feel like it's their own home. If Natti can't handle a little small talk with strangers or acquaintances during brunch then she's in the wrong line of work (but we've all known that for a long time).

 

[Pekey]

I hate those trees in the courtyard , especially the frames and now they have lite them up !
No taste.

Why would Anyone purchase wallpaper and paint for a dump that is going to fall down??? Oh, it looks like she is renovating so bringing in the $$$ .
Can't people see that and give their money to a proper charity!!!
That Australian family that travelled all the way to stay in that dump---- they are Nuts !
---
Bun Boy is looking very old and tired.
In fact, he looks More ill than Fanny.
I would be worried if I was him.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

In his childhood Snorty's family must have indulged him to no end. I'm sure he never heard the word NO and definitely never heard the following words at the dinner table:

• "you'll eat what's put in front of you or you'll go to bed hungry"
• "there's no dessert until you eat what's on your plate"
• "fine, go to bed hungry then"
• "whatever is left on your plate, you'll have for breakfast"
• "I'm not a short-order cook. You'll eat what everyone else is having"

In today's vlog Snorty claimed he's allergic to chicken. (that's the first I'd heard) Is there a tattler who is kindly keeping Snorty's List of Allergies (aka - foods he doesn't like)? If not, may I suggest we start a list and post it on Wiki.