The Chateau Diaries #231 Liar land the land of Liars

[ComtesseRose]

Congratulations @Pyke for becoming our newest VIP and naming the thread.

Most Liked Posts from the previous thread



Marquis de Potpourri
VIP Member
Thursday at 5:58 PM

• #22

Baby Update: 19 weeks, our BOY looks healthy and strong! The missus is doing very well.
To quote Howard Stark (Avenger's Endgame), "The kid's not even here yet but there's nothing I wouldn't do for him!"

Sorry to derail. Now back to Lalande!

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T Rex
VIP Member
Friday at 4:31 AM

• #118

Hello, my lovely Tarlets and Targents. I'll be taking a short hiatus as my beloved tiny Chiweenie, Luna, was diagnosed with diabetes today, and since her numbers were absolutely abysmal, has begun twice-a-day insulin injections. Luna, who we adopted 6 years ago, came from a hoarding situation, and was considered unadoptable, as she could not walk, feared pretty much everyone and everything, but I felt the need to save her. She transformed into a fearless, hilarious naughty little minx who loves all people, and this came out of nowhere, as until a few months ago, was the picture of perfect health. My pups are my children- so this was a huge blow to Mr. T Rex and I. While Luna is still her naughty self (albeit more tired than usual), I want to make sure I am giving her the absolute best life and adventures. I'll still check in from time to time, but won't be on here as much. Hug your pups tight- their little lives are far too short! Hugs and love to you all!

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Jules100
VIP Member
Monday at 11:42 PM

• #673

I’m way behind, page 18 of 34. Might have to do some “every other paging” as I like to call it. I took my daughter out for round two of prom dress shopping yesterday & she found her dress. The first one she tried on! Got home, took a few pics of her wearing it with her funky platform Mary Jane heels that she was hoping would work with it, then I got punched in the face, (not literally). Instantly sick, threw up four times and I was done for the day. I have no idea what happened. Maybe it was all those expired shrimp cocktails I ate at brunch? I feel fine today, got mostly caught up on YouTube and put the last coat of paint on my new vestibule (lil hallway) that I am transforming into the world’s smallest art gallery.

Last edited: Monday at 11:50 PM

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Sparrowsfart
VIP Member
Monday at 12:39 AM

• #521

MRShavershamsdress said:
Whoever posted the last fupa joke/edit. Speaking as a long time obese man I have it, doesn’t bother me when others joke about. It isn’t only women who develop it, which she seems to think it is.

Over share, please don't attack me!

As I female who has had weight issue most of her life, I find it hurtful, as I am more than my body, I have a mind and feelings too. There is a generalisation that fat people are just lazy and eat all day, which is not always true, there are as many different reasons for weight gain, as their are people who are overweight. I also think that women are held to a different standard than men. It is more acceptable for men to carry more weight than women, same as it's more acceptable for men to go grey, or have more wrinkles etc. Having children did change my body for ever, my stomach is covered in stretch marks, but they are the price I happily paid for my wonderful sons. Lucky for me my husband loves them.
I had medical issues for years that held me captive and made it nearly impossible for me to lose weight. I have been fortunate to have had a lot of my health issues resolved over the last year (thank you to my progressive Dr) and this has made it easier for me to lose weight (I still have to work hard at it with lots of exercise and diet). I have lost 50kg (110 pounds) over the last year. My health has improved immensely, but the thing I notice most is I'm now treated differently. I'm not ignored or invisible anymore, and strangers are happy to talk to me. Before it was like people thought the fat was contagious, so they didn't engage. Of course there are fat/obese people who are arseholes (Brenda Gibbons springs to mind), but there are also a lot of fat people just who are nice people, and are just trying to get along with the same problems others have like paying the power bill etc and they don't need to be shamed, or made fun of just because they are an easy target.

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Just Grift Wood
VIP Member
Saturday at 8:57 PM

• #373

Le Baiseur said:
The last vlog was painful to watch. Obsessing over testing and experimenting over a small pedestal sink tile backsplash followed by mould making and more testing. Just go to your local brico and buy some bleeping tiles already and be done with it.
In the previous vlog, Marc looked quite annoyed with her and I'm sure he'd rather be off on his own doing his thing but he's saddled with kids - and I think a 3rd is on its way - unless Amy is sporting a winter FUPA.

Couldn't agree more she is not a designer and neither does she have the skill, if she wants hand made you can buy those. Rebecca bought her kitchen tiles off the shelf and they look great
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Jacquelyn Corbin
1 day ago
IMHO make another laundry room.




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caroline gooder
1 day ago (edited)
Ask that again in two years when they redo the kitchen.

This new system takes up less room. This room has always housed the system being so centralized in the chateau. They also send out a lot of the laundry now. Remember all the B&B laundry with the old fashioned linens can now be sent out, as they finally found a local business. All the rest is done in this laundry by a rota system.The closest room to replace this laundry is the new boot room or one of the storage rooms across the workyard that has no water or electricity.

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World of surprises
1 day ago
I hope my comment is not deleted. Stephanie said she is tired and too busy to do the Sunday blog (which I totally get it), as a patron i would like to know if her new travelling channel with Ollie strong will distract her from restoring the chateau, and the effort will be on travelling and YouTube ? It is important to have a balance between personal life and the chateau, but as a patron I would expect the effort to be done at the chateau… all the global travelling will make her lose a lot of support …




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caroline gooder
1 day ago (edited)
Stephanie said she is doing her annual paperwork, even doing such work, while Philip drives the van. You are a patron per your words, and then you start talking about filmed vlogs made last year and not published. You already get longer vlogs than non-patrons, so I am puzzled. Do you want more patron vlogs? Do you want cleaning vlogs before the start of the B&B season. Do you want hours of raw footage of the heating crew working, which might not be what that company wants. I and many fans want to see the vlogs filmed with Ollie last year. If they go out under Stephanie's European Tour channel or another channel, we will watch them also. We love seeing the interaction between Ollie and Stephanie.




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World of surprises
1 day ago
@caroline gooder yes I am a patron. Why are you attacking me? I asked a fair question, don’t need to be so aggressive. Gosh!




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World of surprises
1 day ago
@caroline gooder are you answering on behalf of Stephanie/Lalande? If so, please let me know and I will unsubscribe. I do not wish to deal with such unpleasant person. Please do not interact with me in this channel nor on patreon.




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caroline gooder
1 day ago
Now I understand that you want to use a general comment section but be a private Patron at the same time.

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World of surprises
1 day ago
@caroline gooder I expect normal sensible people to reply. Not a barking dog !




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Sheilagh K
18 hours ago
@World of surprises normal sensible person here. Ask your questions on patreon if indeed you are one.




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World of surprises
13 hours ago
@Sheilagh K I have asked, (maybe not with these exact words), but my comment always gets deleted(hence why I asked not to be deleted)….




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Zed Blackworth
11 hours ago
the website says they will be doing weekly travel vlogs so that is. a lot of filming








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Zed Blackworth
11 hours ago
@caroline gooder she has reduced her vlogging again this year and the patreon account was initially set up for restoration I think this person just wants to know if restorations will be happening and how can she say she is too tired to do Sunday at the Chateau but launch yet another channel that is taking her travelling even more. I enjoy Oli but I do think questions can be asked from patreons without you piling on they are not attacking Stephanie and you and some of the others are so defensive bordering on aggressive it is off putting

Last edited: Saturday at 9:15 PM

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Clara Burnett
VIP Member
Friday at 9:37 AM

• #141

Finally the charlataine Stephanie Jarvis showed some sense of reality in her flog from last night by stating: " We are the tortoise of the chateaus". She knows. She also knows it's her fault, her lack of capabilities in all that is needed to pull off a renovation. She also doesn't care. Not her own money that she's spending.
Interesting to see what she called "the baby mower", the one that Paulina was driving. That's not Isabelle Jarvis' old mower. So probably a new one too. Happy spending while no-one is looking, right?
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NotAChatelaine said:
Even by SJ’s standards of inaccuracy and mangling facts, it does seem nuts to relocate the crumbling heap. And the choice of Limousin is just so random, and (with apologies to those of the Limousin) doesn’t carry the immediate recognition and cachet (and address snobbery!) of other places. I read Limousin and just think of the cattle!!

As usual Stephanie Jarvis did tit in the process of making this website. It's all Ollie's handiwork and as we by now all know, he is not that handy.

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Wiki
Happy Easter Tattlers.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

@ComtesseRose thanks for the new thread-let's hope Fanny actually does something this week-I am losing the will with the boring bollocks she is churning out

 

[Maple fairy]

Thanks @ComtesseRose for your dedication to making sure we have thread to tattle!
@Pyke congrats on your VIP status! Cheers to you!

 

[Cleo's Asp]

Re the Chinese takeaway wallpaper, on Monday's gift grab, you could see a clear white line, the gap between two lengths of wallpaper on the wall behind them. I think SJ has always been totally incapable of wallpapering a room without making a complete hash of it. The paper is awful but no doubt, like all the others she buys, it cost thousands. If you spend that much on wallpaper, surely it's worth making an effort to hang it correctly or get someone else to do it for you. It's impossible to believe that this woman is actually an adult. She's like a primary school child pretending to be a grown up.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Waddup, Yentas! My people are observing Pesach (Passover) starting today. I will be on before sundown but will be taking a break from Tattle for a few days. When I emerge from Pesach, it'll be a pain to have to read through an entire thread or two.
To those of you who observe Holy Week and Easter, I wish you all a meaningful time!

The weather's a little gloomy over my parents' country house today.

 

[Jules100]

My favorite part of Stephanie’s annual infamous eggstravaganza is the old bunny ears headbands. Being reused since at least 2012. Gross.

 

[Just Grift Wood]

My favorite part of Stephanie’s annual infamous eggstravaganza is the old bunny ears headbands. Being reused since at least 2012. Gross.
View attachment 2080042

Bet they have never been washed either and doesn't the thing get a bit tired after 11 years. They are real saddos

 

[Seeingitasitis]

BREAKING NEWS ACCOUNTS ACCOUNTS

I know you will all be delighted to learn, that whilst Ruby continues to find ever more ingenious places to take a surreptitious tit in Fanny’s study, he has, this time, excelled himself by managing download a copy of her ACCOUNTS. At the suggestion of her accountant, Jacques, he has asked her to divide her income into percentage spending:

Percentage income has been and will be spent on the following:

Travel – Fifty per cent. After all, I am only at the chateau half the time and half my Youtube output will now be travel.

Personal clothing, accessories and toiletries – Ten per cent. I don’t need to spend more as I am gifted so much but a girl still likes to spend.

Ruby – food, accessories, worming, flea treatments, vet – 0 per cent. Ruby is a wild animal and can fend for himself

Future Venice Property – ten per cent – one must have an eye to the future – my future

Eating out, tasting menus and McDonalds – ten per cent

Buying stuff I don’t need from the brocante and unscrupulous antique dealers – ten per cent

Buying Nick out (Formal Name: Lake Fund) – fifteen per cent. After three years, we are nearly at target for this

Chateau renovations: Five per cent. I was hoping for three but under pressure from Patrons, there is the heating

Future upkeep of the chateau – 0 per cent. I am bomb proof. My patrons will provide

Accountants Bill – don’t be daft – I never settle my debts

Personal charitable donation – 0 per cent. I do enough opening my gifts

Tax bill – tax bill? What tax bill? 0 per cent

Phillip has pointed out this does not add up to one hundred per cent. He makes it one hundred and ten per cent. But I am not worried. I will just tell my patrons and they will donate more.

 

[Maple fairy]

Hey tartlets what do we think of this padding? Perhaps PhiPhi can benefit to hide the camel toe!

 

[NotAChatelaine]

Waddup, Yentas! My people are observing Pesach (Passover) starting today. I will be on before sundown but will be taking a break from Tattle for a few days. When I emerge from Pesach, it'll be a pain to have to read through an entire thread or two.
To those of you who observe Holy Week and Easter, I wish you all a meaningful time!

The weather's a little gloomy over my parents' country house today.
View attachment 2080026

What a glorious “vista”. (I’m resisting all temptation to mention the Rotting Gardens of Lalande)

 

[Luna20]

Waddup, Yentas! My people are observing Pesach (Passover) starting today. I will be on before sundown but will be taking a break from Tattle for a few days. When I emerge from Pesach, it'll be a pain to have to read through an entire thread or two.
To those of you who observe Holy Week and Easter, I wish you all a meaningful time!

The weather's a little gloomy over my parents' country house today.
View attachment 2080026

Nice pod Marquis! Chag pesach sameach!

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Hey tartlets what do we think of this padding? Perhaps PhiPhi can benefit to hide the camel toe!

Let's club together and buy the Pubey Eunuch a modern day cod piece

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

What a glorious “vista”. (I’m resisting all temptation to mention the Rotting Gardens of Lalande)

Nice pod Marquis! Chag pesach sameach!

Thanks! At the center of that oval was where I proposed to my wife for the first time (without a ring ) on a mid-spring day when the trees were in full bloom! A second proper proposal took place a wee bit later.

Thank goodness for AnnBoleyn, Kirsty and Pavlova whom patrons pay to care for SJ's gardens, it'll even be a greater mess otherwise, like when Isabelle was in charge. She and SJ were definitely vibing Grey Gardens!

 

[Summerbaby]

Re the Chinese takeaway wallpaper, on Monday's gift grab, you could see a clear white line, the gap between two lengths of wallpaper on the wall behind them. I think SJ has always been totally incapable of wallpapering a room without making a complete hash of it. The paper is awful but no doubt, like all the others she buys, it cost thousands. If you spend that much on wallpaper, surely it's worth making an effort to hang it correctly or get someone else to do it for you. It's impossible to believe that this woman is actually an adult. She's like a primary school child pretending to be a grown up.

Generally, wallpapers that cost that much are usually 2 - 3 times the width of normal "household" wallpaper and therefore, require a professional to hang them. Basically, if you can't, or pretend that you can't, afford to ultimately pay a professional, then you shouldn't be buying them in the first instance. No brainer really! But, then again, most of the ridiculous wallpaper hanging fails were filmed for/by C4 weren't they - say no more!
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Waddup, Yentas! My people are observing Pesach (Passover) starting today. I will be on before sundown but will be taking a break from Tattle for a few days. When I emerge from Pesach, it'll be a pain to have to read through an entire thread or two.
To those of you who observe Holy Week and Easter, I wish you all a meaningful time!

The weather's a little gloomy over my parents' country house today.
View attachment 2080026

Fabulously beautiful garden. Incredibly stylishly understated with clean lines and all year round structure. I imagine that the trees and flower beds are a riot of colour during the summer months. Love it. Please, please take a picture then to show us the difference.

 

[ComtesseRose]

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

Back to Dan’s Turkey teef discussion from the last thread, I’ve always thought they were made by the same dentist that Milk Bone hired to provide dentures for their canine models.

 

[Summerbaby]

Just watched FF Dan installing his "free" solar panels - still no hard hat!. Yet again, doing everything twice - has he not yet learnt from his past mistakes? So he shovels up all the debris on the balcony and simply throws over the railings onto the steps below when he could have easily swept it all to one end of the balcony and thrown it onto the wasteland below. Thus avoiding him having to sweep and leaf blow the crap off the steps, YET AGAIN!!!
To date, how many times have those steps been cleared, thinking at least 5/6 times by now!
And, he said, "wow, what a view". Really?

 

[Imperious Me]

Just watched FF Dan installing his "free" solar panels - still no hard hat!. Yet again, doing everything twice - has he not yet learnt from his past mistakes? So he shovels up all the debris on the balcony and simply throws over the railings onto the steps below when he could have easily swept it all to one end of the balcony and thrown it onto the wasteland below. Thus avoiding him having to sweep and leaf blow the crap off the steps, YET AGAIN!!!
To date, how many times have those steps been cleared, thinking at least 5/6 times by now!
And, he said, "wow, what a view". Really?

Honestly, I've stopped watching him. Seeing floors swept, concrete mixers started, trees chopped... is like watching paint dry.

 

[ploppityplop2]

Back to Dan’s Turkey teef discussion from the last thread, I’ve always thought they were made by the same dentist that Milk Bone hired to provide dentures for their canine models.

View attachment 2080225

Not to worry they will all fall out soon!

 

[Luna20]

I went to a Turkish teef doctor to get my wisdom tooth extracted the other week. they have this strip with teef and colours, from Hollywood white (that tit is bright, it can function as a flashlight) to yellowish white. next to the Hollywood white the yellowish ones look really yellow! but in reality they are not.

A lot of you don't like Dan's teef, I like them, because his originals were 1 too canine like 2 he smiles a lot more. It gives the man confidence. so #teamDan!
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The grifted China of Fanny new flues. The second image is from her early days, 1st from last week? Look at how much more crammed it is!

Incoming warning nostrils is in 1st picture.
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Better picture for comparison