The Chateau Diaries #231 Liar land the land of Liars

[Luna20]

Hope the wisdom tooth extraction wasn't too painful - had to do the same myself years ago. The noise/pressure was far worse than the actual extraction itself as I had lots of injections but it bleed for quite a few hours afterwards.

Wisdom tooth extraction? no problem! Somehow I do not feel pain in my jaws. it slightly uncomfortable, and you miss a tooth there. (although my cheek swell up, no pain) My dentist in NL loves my teeth however an interesting thing, the dentist I visited did advise me to get a manual toothbrush instead of electric due to periodontal. She said electric toothbrushes are too abrasive for gums.

@MRShavershamsdress if you are happy with the result, you have done right by yourself! No one should walk around with something they feel insecure/bad about!

No probs with Dans teeth, just Dan himself and maybe what the teeth represent. They’re his early midlife crisis. Thousands of pounds that might have contributed to enhancing his children’s lives and his partners well-being. He chose ego, he chose teeth and chased fame.
Just being judgy I guess.

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I hate this picture ahahah. I can't care less why Annelise and Dan have split up. Millions of people with children split up. There was alleged cheating from Dan. possible. But since Annelise dropped about 130 pounds (Dan) and than some physically, she had the divorce glow up! she is drop dead gorgeous and via pictures posted here looks happy! I wish her a ripped, handsome, sexy French farmer!
p.s In my personal opinion Annelise is as beautiful as Ombeline. She didn't loose Dan, she won herself back. CONGRATULATIONS ANNELISE FOR DROPPING THAT DEAD WEIGHT!

 

[KyBourbon]

This is what happens all too often with Snorty and why it’s extremely difficult to accept he has food allergies. Food allergies are to be taken very seriously, but for Snorty it seems to be just an excuse not to eat things he doesn’t like, but on another occasion tucks into, and his list of contradictions gets ever longer.
What pisses me off is Snorty never offers to make an alternative dish for himself, but sits on his butt expecting others to cater to his un-developed palate because he’s still a man-child who’s been pampered to all his life.

And what bothers me is that PhiPhi is lying about his food allergies. He doesn’t have food allergies…it’s just an excuse. He has the palate of a three year old child and he knows enough to be embarrassed about it. But, rather than owning up to his juvenile culinary tastes, he conveniently uses his allergy excuse. If I cooked a meal that he wouldn’t eat, I’d tell the little twerp he can boil some hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for himself (just like what my niece ate when she was three). In my niece’s case, I would cook it for her…but I’d tell PhiPhi to get off his ass and cook it himself.

 

[Jules100]

Well if that is the case I would think his girlfriend would do more to familiarise herself with the garden, cooking and running a basic business. Whilst Amaury may see the potential for self sufficiency within the chateau grounds, Natty is in no way the right partner for that aspiration. He is wasting the best years of his life (ie youth, no debt, no dependents, health) at the dump making radiator covers and waiting tables.

I don’t think Natti is Amaury’s Mrs. Right, more like Mrs. Right Now, aka Mrs. Slim Pickins In The Middle of Nowhere.

 

[ComtesseRose]

Am I the only one who still thinks Caroline is Stephanie? She seems to know too much to be an outsider!

LOL. She's particular defensive in the comments...

(only saving these screenshots for archival purposes. LOL)

 

[Jules100]

Pros:
-Stephanie has listened to us and no longer starts her videos filming herself in bed
-Stephanie was sick with the Covid
-New dishwashers
-Maria
-Grant’s wife & kids
-Probably something else

Cons:
-I love a cozy fur lined robe, but Stephanie’s robe just looks nasty. If I were at Lalande, I would either steal it or pee on it a little
-So sick, but wonderful after a quick nap…
-Stephanie’s Philip’s foot applied eyeliner obviously different & filmed over a few days trying to be one day
-No working dishwasher, but go nuts on the tablescape for pizza
-The disgusting area cuisine or whatever they call it. Just rip everything out & replace it all. How much could it possibly be? Doesn’t matter ‘cause Stephanie is rich. How much content & positivity would Steph get out of it? Dumb bitch
-With Grant’s family there too, makes it a little harder for Steph & Grant to sneak away to “secretly” F. Maybe this also goes into the Pro section?
-Why are there left over crumbs sitting around from the night before? Why are those crumbs dumped right outside the kitchen? Why does Stephanie think this is a good idea?
-50 year old woman saying wee repeatedly
-FRK coming back to Lalande soon. Marie, please stay away, you’ll just end up hurt again

 

[Clara Burnett]

You can't make this shit up. To make absolutely sure the walls of her CHMN will come down, the charlataine Stephanie Jarvis decided to put a grand piano right next to the wall she knows has the biggest cracks. Who cares at this point, right?
Also: the state of that arriver cuisine as she calls it: disgusting does not even begin to describe it.

 

[LittleMore Cottage]

Imagine if Snorts doesn't finish those leftovers and puts the plastic tub back in the fridge

He is such a Dick wad the entire table was set with plates, that had to be hand washed and he sits down with plastic container. On top of a plate that would need to be washed. Unless they just stack them up and re use if not eaten off of. Ugh. I can't believe how blind everyone is and how ridiculous he looks in every vlog.

 

[MadameChat]

Phlip Phlop’s chicken allergy isn’t something new! Without wishing to dismiss those who have genuine allergies (which can be very serious) or intolerances which can be very debilitating, I do view his allergy list with a certain amount of scepticism. He does seem to have a raft of things he can’t/doesn’t/won’t eat. Nuts, citrus, chicken, dairy, egg whites are the ones that spring to mind. I’m sure there are other things across the whole spectrum of the edible world.

I don’t doubt that he was indulged, pandered to, pampered, cosseted and mollycoddled as a child and growing up. I also think he never developed a particularly broad palate, in terms of the food he was brought up with. The look of horror when presented with an artichoke was priceless, ditto asparagus: zero enthusiasm bordering on abject terror.

When I saw him eat cream brûlée that did it for me someone with a true egg allergy would end up at the ER

 

[graciemckitten]

I don’t think Natti is Amaury’s Mrs. Right, more like Mrs. Right Now, aka Mrs. Slim Pickins In The Middle of Nowhere.

I agree. It is likely a case of ”any port in a storm will do.” I believe Potts may have the same experience with the Shittelaine when they vacation together or he is residing at the Dump.
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I know! And yes, installed by Dan but cheap and inappropriate choice for countertops in a wet area anyway...picked out by Fanny because the price was cheap too! Just gross. Why oh why did Marie agree to return??
When Little Pecker pants said something to the effect of "Well, Marie,...things have changed around here since last year..." In an almost threatening, gloating way I wanted to take him out at the knees, whip of his stupid, smelly beanie and shove a huge zucchini up his big ol'.....nostril!!!!
( he would enjoy it up his big ol' bum so the nose it is. Hell, you could fly a 747 up those large , open, vacuous black holes!!!

I don‘t think anyone challenges the Douche Lord so his entitlement and obnoxiousness have reached epic levels. Maria is one of the few who does not kiss his ass, so he feebly tries to put her in her place by threatening her. The joke is on him. I don’t see Maria putting up with his crap for the next several months.

F4F is too lazy and selfish to take whatever power she has bestowed upon Snorts back to herself and the two other hapless Shittoo owners.

Fanny claims to love Pride and Prejudice. Well, she has hooked up with the LieLande equivalent of smarmy clergyman Mr. Collins, with the faux allergy faking, porcelain fondling, hedgehog chasing, freeloading sex pest Sir Snorts a Lot.

 

[Jules100]

Now read carefully as I will write this once and once only.

Selmar my view on everything is because his mother was artistic, he and his siblings were different from the rest of the crowd. he doesn't appear to have friends left behind him in the Netherlands. He doesn't appear to have had an intense emotional relationship with anyone when he was younger.

Apart from his accident I don't believe he was a star at school, what he showed us about his job was far different from what a tool maker who flated with us in my very long ago days. Looked more like a pattern maker in metal. My asumpton is that because of his family lifestyle he didn't have many friends at school and tended towards living an alternative life of fantasy.

The drawings he showed Stephaine were a very naive nature, exactly what he is. He had never been popular and whole lalande experience made him feel loved admired by many people throughout the world. There has been no reality check that was an exceptional time, a WW pandemic, social media WWconnectivity far different from 1918 when people in your country didn't know what was happening except in their small locations.

When he left and went to Bill and Viviane he tried to recreate the lalande there. The very cringeworthyness of doing his own Chateau Cadeaux, the easter egg hunt was to me vomit inducing.

He hasn't grown up, he wants to be a star someone who is recognisable someone people flock to as they did with their comments on Chateau diaries. Life has moved on so have people we have a new normal and Selmar is forgettable.

Producing vlogs showing a kitten playing or rabbits in a chateau room show how limited his world is, thats the type of world people who are sick and unable to socialise because of their illness, be it cancer, anxiety or whatever live in. Seen it far too often in my nursing days.

It is my belief he is going to become a blight in the Chateauverse, travelling from vloging Chateau to Chateau trying to content and bludging off the workaway system. He can never recreate 2020 again.

When he came on here I skipped those threads he had nothing to provide me with, I only hope I have expressed myself sufficently that this does not become a derail. Or I ahve insulted any fellow tattlers, and if Selmar is still on here and reads this he reflects on the past and puts it in that knapsack of the his back, them removes and throws it away. By doing so he will become a better person. IMHO

Repeating myself I am not a Selmar fan. I've had my say, that's it no more on the topic from me. These are my feelings and assumption, I only hope two things from thsi post .

I believe that Selmar fell hard for Stephanie’s love bombing. A lovely lady speaking to him, telling him how wonderful and needed he is. That’s all any man really wants, especially if they’ve never really gotten it before. There are lots of lovely ladies in the chateauverse. They’re all young and friendly and probably a little too available. Most would never have anything to do with Selmar (or Steve) in real life. Selmar’s been hooked. This is the only life for him now. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have enough money for his own chateau, other people don’t want to give him one or live with him for eternity. Also, he doesn’t read the room well and overshares and overstays. You’re not getting any younger or paid any better Selmar. It’s time to be a real adult and make some good life decisions for a change.

 

[Marquis de Potpourri]

Can’t the Gay Twank just get a job?????

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A first-timer observed:

The sugar mommy responded:

 

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

Flu my arse. Flu lasts a lot longer than 4 days Fanny. And where oh where are the H & S inspectors in France. Those work surfaces in that back kitchen would not pass an inspection as they no way meet the standards required for a commercial enterprise. They would have to be replaced immediately not several years down the line (after the chapel and grand salon have been restored as Fanny suggested), and if they were not seen to the business would be closed down.
Infestation of mice anyone. What sluttish behaviour to just leave all those breadcrumbs on the board, why don’t they clean up as they go as most sensible people do, not just leave them there let alone leave them there all night.
Evidence of mice in a food preparation area would also be a big red flag in the UK and if not dealt with immediately would again cause the business to be closed.
I am genuinely puzzled as to why with the flagrant disregard of basic hygiene in that commercial kitchen how the B and B is allowed to continue. Why has their licence not been revoked?

 

[Tea with lemon]

 

[Just Grift Wood]

Imagine having guests arriving from the other side of the world, being asleep when they arrive. Not having a welcoming fire ready, not being there to show them to their room, letting them buy the wine and then serving them cold takeaway pizza. Fanny is to hosting what Myra Hindley was to child care.

 

[stella65]

CG is a certified lunatic!!!!

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Wishing Karma Baby a speedy recovery! Since I don't yet know how to upload the patreon vlog here is a summary which I entitle:
'How to Jam 25 Minutes with So Much of Nothing'.

Boulanger - 1 minute

• Fanny self filming walking through a parking lot in Chateau Rue – heading off to shop for ricotta to make an Italian Easter pie. All the grocery stores are apparently out of ricotta. (I take it that means the Cheese Man isn't coming for Easter)
• Fanny wants to go to her favourite Boulanger for lunch, but is shocked that there’s a que (to be fair, Fanny usually isn’t out of bed, let alone out of the shitoo, before noon so imagine her surprise that people are out and about).
• Fanny buys treats for the shitoo then sits and wolfs down a warm cheese sandwich

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Driving and Grocery Store - 3.30 minutes

• Sitting in Car, Driving, Shopping for asparagus and ricotta at her favourite grocery store
• Terrible horreur – Fanny put blue tights on with black heels and a cream dress (actually one of her better outfits)
• Buys a pre-packaged Easter Pie for lunch – just sausage meat with hardboiled egg, wrapped in pastry (but that's almost identical to the Easter pie Fanny is making)
• Videos the grocery store and buys tons of ricotta & wild garlic (squeals in delight )

p.s. Grant, wife, 2 children & Maria have all arrived (desperate fools)
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Countryside Drive - 2 minutes

• Driving through the country side – quite pleasurable - lovely piano music, no Belle Epoque and no Snorty

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Return to the shitoo – 4 minutes

• Kirsty shoveling shit and Fanny accidentally drives over the trailer - Oopsie!!!
• Kitchen in a big mess because the 2 new dishwashers are being installed (literally every room is under construction. Fanny just realized they needed to be installed because Maria was returning. (Were new dishwashers a condition for Maria agreeing to return???)
• Stupid Fanny thought she’d simply turn the dishwashers on without any installation (Anmuary has been busy replumbing, levelling the counters, building carcasses – while Fanny swanned off to Dubai to shag Potty!
• Snorty sitting on his butt - doing nothing!
• Anmuary’s butt crack - working hard!

 

[Dragomiroff]

I realize this is going against the grain here but my heart hurts when I see this. We don't know what happened. I in no way think SJ had anything to do with her death. I have donated to scholarship funds and would hate it if something happened to the person I donated to and peeps on the internet decide I'm responsible for a death. I just don't see how y'all are coming to the conclusion that she is responsible for this beautiful girl's death. To me, this is going way over the line and heading into defamation.

Whilst I respect your opinion and encourage you to speak your feelings I can only strongly disagree with your post. Although we don’t know ALL the facts we do know SJ never personally checked in with her scholar - always relying on the Viliotti Institute for feedback. If she were to, SJ may have learned sooner that her scholarship wasn’t sufficient to cover Mmakhotso’s travel, technology and material requirements - hence Mmakhotso need to rely on multiple scholarships and starting an online fundraiser to make up the difference. SJ states she would have willingly helped - so why didn’t Mmakhotso get in touch? - I suspect, because SJ didn’t create the environment or atmosphere that she is always ready to step in if needed. The scholarship was always performative charity to add credence to the GAG channel. SJ knew that the scholarship wasn’t sufficient and that Mmakhotso was struggling financially at home with the admission by Spero that Mmakhotso likely forwent food to make dresses for Stephanie. How could she take those dresses knowing that was the case without separate payment? Deeply uncomfortable viewing.
Then the way her death was announced and the response to the viewer’s ensuing questions as to why Mmakhotso made the online fundraiser painted the young scholar as unexplainable, greedy and unjustified. SJ and Phyllis informed us that Mmakhotso was, in fact, the recipient of multiple scholarships and those donors shared responsibility for Mmakhotso too - deflection 101.
If SJ had nothing to hide or have guilt for why was Mmakhotso Moloi name deleted from the YT comments. They read here and saw my intentions. SJ should never forget that she let down that talented young lady along with her family. Promises weren’t honoured for the trips to France for Paris Fashion Week or to LieLande.
Mmakhotso was exploited by Stephanie Jarvis from day one until well after she died for financial legitimacy, emotional manipulation and profiteering. It’s a truly repugnant episode from SJ. I’m not saying SJ murdered the young lady I’m pointing out her neglect towards Mmakhotso certainly was a significant contributing factor to the struggles Mmakhotso was contending with on a daily basis at the end of her life - struggles that didn’t need to be. I’d also like to remind everyone that SJ didn’t donate her own money to Mmakhotso’s family fund but instead the YT adSense money from the GAG channel and was all too happy to stick her name and that of LieLande on the donation. Her true grief plain for all to see - non existent.

 

[JackSpratt]

Apparently he is allergic to chicken but not turkey... and again apparently there is a difference... people are known to be less allergic to turkey meat than to chicken..
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She omitted to say she didn't pay when the 2 puffs and their pugs visit, as they bring their own and enough to feed an army, to ensure they have a decent meal usually swilled down with a few bottle of vino....

Oh bollocks to it, please someone give him chicken and tell him it's turkey so we can see what happens. Projectile vomiting all over the Easter Eggs, fantastic.

 

[Lady Avonlea]

Key takeaways:

1. Snorty is morphing more into a 50's housewife every day!

• sitting on his ass in the kitchen planning the cooking rota with the hired help
• directing Kevin on how to do the plastering in the Marquis Suite
• supervising Amuary's work on the dishwashers
• planning the layout of the Area Cuisine

Snorty didn't have any nail polish or brooches today. He was also unusually quiet but became very animated when, near the end of the vlog, he finally got to spell out his simple, cheap idea for the area cuisine (which Fanny quickly shot down). Wonder if Snorty is getting side-lined?

2. Anmuary & Natti are keeping their heads down, doing their work, not saying much and sticking to themselves in the evenings.

 

[Dragomiroff]

My favourite part of that flog was SJ pointing out that the bed in Phyllis’s study is usually never made up till now - yeah sure SJ. He’s a raging homosexual and we all know Phyllis couldn’t tolerate not having the bed made up. It’s like those lies she used to tell when they were travelling during the pandemic about having separate rooms. Except now they actually do have separate rooms because SJ can’t get rid of Phyllis. I’m sorry but that mincing gait through the kitchen and courtyard in the dungarees and boots was the gayest thing I’ve seen in quite a while and I had a dick in my mouth last night….