The Chateau Diaries #207 The association is named: Wonker, Tasser, Trollop & Son!

[Clara Burnett]

As a disclaimer (yes, I wised up): none of what I’m about to say might be connected to the reason Dan has been missing in (sort of) action and we will probably never know, because I doubt the man himself will admit to it anyway. He just likes to throw the dogs a bone: new flog soon, but no real date. What I do know is that there recently has been a nasty fallout between charlataine Stephanie Jarvis and her former gardener/love interest/handyman/availability, because Dan was counting on his bff Armoir to help him in his derelict ruin/abandoned castle/historic chateau but she has vetoed that by reminding her Cuz where his loyalties should lie. At the same time, Dan was painstakingly reminded that in her playbook when you’re out, you actually are out.

 

[Ginginger]

Alice Allan is pissed off for good reason!
(Apologies if this has been posted already)

 

[KiKiGee]

shelagh ward
13 hours ago
Why do people send sooooo much stuff ? . I find it strange ?

Tommy Keegan
1 day ago (edited)
What a bunch of narsistic phonies.These people are worth millions.
REPLY
Chateau Joe
17 hours ago
Is your frozen heart not melted by the joy of watching wealthy people opening gifts under the guise of charity?

 

[KyBourbon]

As a disclaimer (yes, I wised up): none of what I’m about to say might be connected to the reason Dan has been missing in (sort of) action and we will probably never know, because I doubt the man himself will admit to it anyway. He just likes to throw the dogs a bone: new flog soon, but no real date. What I do know is that there recently has been a nasty fallout between charlataine Stephanie Jarvis and her former gardener/love interest/handyman/availability, because Dan was counting on his bff Armoir to help him in his derelict ruin/abandoned castle/historic chateau but she has vetoed that by reminding her Cuz where his loyalties should lie. At the same time, Dan was painstakingly reminded that in her playbook when you’re out, you actually are out.

I’m amazed at the speed SJ churns through people. The whole process, from start to finish…love bombing to dismissal…can be counted in months. SJ’s history with Dan could be a case study in narcissism. I remember when Dan was first introduced, then elevated to a pedestal, eventually sidelined, and now kicked to the curb. It’s a revolving door at the farmhouse. What a shallow life. Think about it…the person SJ has chosen as her companion/partner…the person she is supposedly most closely connected, shares emotions, thoughts, feelings, and continues to “stick around”…is PhiPhi…26 years old, uneducated, uncultured, unskilled, and naive (but he probably has an agenda). Astounding and embarrassing.

 

[C'est moi]

me too

Thank you so much @T Rex , @Just Grift Wood . Sadly my cat didn't make it, we had to make the decision to say our final au revoir on boxing day. It's been just too sad.

I've been hanging around on the periphery of all your banter you witty haters, trolls and queens. Bonne année, meilleurs voeux à toutes et tous. I can't believe it's already 10th January! I've missed a lot on here but I see everything stays the same at the shitshow...

 

[KyBourbon]

A rare glimpse of the ceiling in one of the farmhouse rooms…it just screams Fanny! The lighting is reminiscent of “a Derek Jarvis original.”

 

[Iolair]

Steve and Sara are absolutely on point when decorating their chateau rooms using what they call "sea colours." Renowned French architect and interior designer Jacques Garcia, owner of the magnificent Chateau du Champ de Bataille, uses 'sea colours' in his interiors. Widely viewed as the most respected designer in France, Garcia views 'sea colours' as traditional enhancements in his many interior projects which include many chateau, hotels, manors and villas across France and Italy. Here's a few examples of his work...

British designers also use 'sea colours' in their stately homes interiors. Here's the Wellington Room in Chatsworth House in Derbyshire...

Not to be outdone, 'sea colours' have been widely used in interior design in Russia for centuries. Here's the Blue Drawing Room of the Catherine Palace in St. Petersburg...

 

[HalcyonOrganic]

Remember the weird bit where people were asking where Dan was at New Years and she said he ended up at a party in a barn or something? I thought that was weird because like why does she know what he’s doing anyway? Or when she said that Dan bought a taxidermy Fox. Why would she know that? I could understand a relationship between them where he has no worries when she’s with PhiPhi because he’s just a beard/assistant.

PhiPhi keeps the questions at bay and she can fuck whomever she wants. He doesn’t take any shit for breaking up his family to be with her and neither one of them want to spend all of their time with each other anyways. Makes really perfect sense. He did his teeth for her and for tv. We all know he can keep a fucking secret. Also remember when they met Kim for lunch and PhiPhi had two desserts? Dan was there. Like why would he be there? She’s also always talking about how he looks cool in his sunglasses and flirting with him. They are totally a couple. Maybe never to be revealed or many years from now if it ever gets serious. I also remember the lunch he took her to in London, she was intimidated by the menu and Protocol. I can see her fancying him.

I actually never watch the videos. I just come here to say something funny or stupid. Most of the time stupid..

 

[graciemckitten]

I like how the Dump crew is passive aggressively rebelling against the Shittelaine in videos. In the last video, Snorts outs the information that he and the Shittelaine have been a couple for 3 years, predating his first appearance at the Dump. Hmmmm…….

Sir Chamberpottie, who reads here, made the cake with multiple porcelain pieces in it so everyone everyone could be a winner, thereby undercutting the Shittelaine’s predetermined win every year by “finding the porcelain baby or prize piece.”

Then, Potts and the Dump gang cut into the cake and ate portions of it while the Shittelaine was out to dinner with her faux boyfriend and his parents. Fanny was visibly annoyed that it had happened without her being present to win the prized piece and be named “the queen or king for the day.” She cried out that there could only be one winner, one king or queen of the day.

She did not like the concept of everyone being a winner. Looks like Potts is also getting fed up with the little orphan princess routine (or wanted to strike back at Dana’s disingenuous snarky comment that Dana thought Potts was employed as Fannys butler).

Mummy and Percy could not hold back their surprised expressions when Fanny announced she was going to fix lunch for then in their apartment, then they realized it was Hello fresh ad, and both settled back onto the sofa and busied themselves with their iPhones.

We watched Anne Marie work on installing the most expensive set of twinkle lights in the universe, at approximately $36,000 per month in Patreon earnings spent on the only work performed in December and January that he anything to do with the actual site of the Dump.

IMHO, Both of the squirrels in the photo look like they are getting ready to punch the smug mug of Sir Snorts a Lot ( rubbing their little paws together in anticipation). He can even piss off stuffed animals. We have now found a talent for Snorts….

I only got half way through watching it as they were putting me off my lunch. More candles! Never have so many graced our screens since the Smugs own goal.




Don't you just wish he'd take a long jump off a short pier too.

Why do people insist on sending candles to the most unsafe, flammable Dump on earth.

 

[Karma baby!]

PATREON VIDEO:

Summary: We will see AnnMarie in his workshop, Kirsti in the garden, a close up of billiards table, and some scrap footage of daily life.

- Aunt an Uncle spent new year in south of France, and then came back to cook for madame and co.... The food actually looks appetizing! What a shock!
- Everyone is wearing an ugly broach... what is with these people and their bling?
- Kim Raad and Dan the former man are there too. Kim will be coming and going this month as she often visits in winter (read: she often house sits in winter)
- Cuz is changing his workshop for the heating system. They are going for gas heating, because pellet system needs all the workshop and takes a lot of room. With gas AnnMarie still will have half his workshop.
- AnnMarie is planning to eventually move his workshop because he can't work like this for the long term. He says the panelling for Grand Salon are too big to work in this smaller workshop... and they have other big projects coming up. He's gonna stay in that shitto until death comes!
- She is getting a quote for the structural survey in the GS, and it'll cost 2700 Euros for a full survey and she has given the go ahead... It's so silly even she is laughing at the process.
- Kirsti is pruning... and they have had a couple of apples this year... great harvest! I wonder how they're gonna celebrate...
- Kirsti talks a little more about the garden, as much as she is sweet and I like her, I couldn't care less about the garden.
- We say hello to the chickens... One. By. One.
- Dan and cuz are going to a secret boys trip... SJ is dying to know what they're doing and they don't tell her... it was rather satisfying.
- And for the big moment... we look at the Billiards Table... She also has no idea the game they play is snooker and says she can't tell us why all balls are red
- And finally a night Dan had dinner with SJ, PhiPhi and Cuz... Nutcase was somewhere with her family...PhiPhi has cooked a massive cauldron of soup for 4 people... and slap me in the rear end and call me sally! This dinner also looks good! Pasta Bolognese and salad and soup...
- Seems like Dan keeps popping up at the shitto without SJ knowing, she makes some snarky comments throughout the video.

That's it... I'll post some pictures later.. unfortunately I have a job that beckons...

 

[Le Baiseur]

Well, looks like Brenda Gibbons is at the chateau, but I still don’t know what that pile of junk is.
View attachment 1880219

What can your filters make of Andrew's screenshot from his kitchen tour?

Or PJ modeling his new RayBans?

 

[Clara Burnett]

What puzzles me about those grifters is that they’ve build their audiences by creating a sense of family, of community, of being ever so relatable and they truly believe they are entitled to all the money that is thrown at them for becoming part of that. But then they also believe that they are entitled to privacy, keeping things for themselves and so they create a separate reality where things appear to be something they are not. Stephanie Jarvis, not that long ago, claimed to not want to talk about her private life and not reveal her “boyfriend”, now cannot but show their seemingly loving relationship in great and heinous detail. Dan, who tried to be open about the break up from his long-term love Annelise, fails to actually be transparent or even pretend to care enough about the ones cheering him on.
Ultimately it is the disproportionate size of their egos that leads to their demise and they only have themselves to blame for it. They won’t though, they will blame each other: Dan’s amateurish groundwork has caused the damage to her beloved chapel, Stephanies unwillingness to share curtailed Dan. Bring out the popcorn!

P.S. Fun to see Belly P and his mate stealing the two-blokes talking-podcast-concept of Dan and his Armoir! I guess if you dig a whole, somebody will always jump in.

 

[KyBourbon]

Could @Clara Burnett possibly comment?

We’ve made a lot of jokes about Dan and Amaury. But I’d be totally, 100% shocked if Dan came out as gay. Never say never, but I’m pretty sure he’s not. I think he left Annalise because he’s having a midlife crisis. He’s had his eye on the derelict “chateau” he bought for a long time. Annalise probably told him he was crazy for wanting it and wanted no part of that money pit. So, he left her and his boys to pursue his pipe dream. I hope it was worth it…but I don’t think it was.

 

[KiKiGee]

Tommy Keegan
2 hours ago (edited)
What a bunch of narsistic phonies.These people are worth millions.

 

[KiKiGee]

@ruthywriter
4 hours ago
Cover reveal time! SO excited to share a first look at my reality thriller #TheVilla . This summer - TEN contestants, a reality TV show on a private island, SEVEN days and ONE prize to DIE for! Out this May! Big love to everyone that’s helped make this happen. My editor Alex Saunders, the team @panmacmillan, my agent Jordan Lees @theblairpartnership

 

[Madame No]

I’m amazed at the speed SJ churns through people. The whole process, from start to finish…love bombing to dismissal…can be counted in months. SJ’s history with Dan could be a case study in narcissism. I remember when Dan was first introduced, then elevated to a pedestal, eventually sidelined, and now kicked to the curb. It’s a revolving door at the farmhouse. What a shallow life. Think about it…the person SJ has chosen as her companion/partner…the person she is supposedly most closely connected, shares emotions, thoughts, feelings, and continues to “stick around”…is PhiPhi…26 years old, uneducated, uncultured, unskilled, and naive (but he probably has an agenda). Astounding and embarrassing.

I can't help but think of moths being attracted to light when I think of all the misfits that have come and gone at the HMN. Dan was completely unqualified to be a gardener from the get go. No qualified gardener would have worked for Fanny after talking to her for 10 minutes. She wouldn't have been willing to pay their rates. Instead, she just gets someone that comes along. It's a two way street. Well adjusted, intellectually and emotionally intelligent people just don't get involved with Fanny. This game of prey and predators will not stop. There are so many other people just chomping at the bit to volunteer and work at the HMN. Darwinism? Phil is obviously not prey in my book. He's also a predator.

 

[Le Comte de Monte Cristo]

Poor Dan! He signed up for classes in the school of hard knocks. He was fooled by Fanny's flattery. AnneMarie may have also led him on with promises of helping out with the ruin without clearing it with his employer, Fanny, first. Dan just isn't very bright, you can't 'borrow' employees from employers at a whim, employers don't take too kindly to that sort of thing. I wouldn't mind Dan's folly if he didn't have family responsibilities, but this ruin dream is ridiculous!

it is just the same way she got rid of Selmar...promoting and supporting a project what is failing from the start ...and off they are..out of her circle...like i said before ..she uses people like kitchencloths...

 

[Clara Burnett]

Isn't this the same with Harry and Meghan? They don't gift through patreon and YT, but through renting themselves out for podcasts, books, speaking engagements, visiting cemeteries and military bases, attending awards shows, and the like. They want people to follow and pay attention at those times but then want privacy at all other times. But in order to get the former, they have to or believe they have to publish accounts of the intimate lives, be followed around by a film crew in their house, and show photos of their kids in the bath.

Stephanie Jarvis has been trying for years to find a way to have us talk about other people here, with various levels of success. She must really be happy with the Harry and Meghan controversy, I'd say. I'm going to ignore all that and hope we can return to what these threads should be about.

 

[nyamunken22]

As a disclaimer (yes, I wised up): none of what I’m about to say might be connected to the reason Dan has been missing in (sort of) action and we will probably never know, because I doubt the man himself will admit to it anyway. He just likes to throw the dogs a bone: new flog soon, but no real date. What I do know is that there recently has been a nasty fallout between charlataine Stephanie Jarvis and her former gardener/love interest/handyman/availability, because Dan was counting on his bff Armoir to help him in his derelict ruin/abandoned castle/historic chateau but she has vetoed that by reminding her Cuz where his loyalties should lie. At the same time, Dan was painstakingly reminded that in her playbook when you’re out, you actually are out.

Who needs enemies when you have SJ? I bet she encourages his buying of the ruins. And if cuz ditched his friend, he’s just as bad. She truly is dispicable.

 

[Jules100]

Steve and Sara are absolutely on point when decorating their chateau rooms using what they call "sea colours." Renowned French architect and interior designer Jacques Garcia, owner of the magnificent Chateau du Champ de Bataille, uses 'sea colours' in his interiors. Widely viewed as the most respected designer in France, Garcia views 'sea colours' as traditional enhancements in his many interior projects which include many chateau, hotels, manors and villas across France and Italy. Here's a few examples of his work...

View attachment 1874361

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View attachment 1874363

View attachment 1874364

View attachment 1874365

British designers also use 'sea colours' in their stately homes interiors. Here's the Wellington Room in Chatsworth House in Derbyshire...

View attachment 1874374

Not to be outdone, 'sea colours' have been widely used in interior design in Russia for centuries. Here's the Blue Drawing Room of the Catherine Palace in St. Petersburg...

View attachment 1874391

These sea colored interiors are beautiful. Seems like Steve & Sara’s interpretation is a bit off. Their chateau has a really good chance of looking like it’s home to Miami Dolphin super fans. I’ve warned them, but they don’t really listen to me.