Mrs Hinch #410 tend

[MrsD33]

I’ve changed careers because of covid, so I’m now a support worker, working with vulnerable adults in supported living.

My newest client is a young lady who has mental health issues but is very intelligent but she is a fully fledged member of the hinch army.

I had to help her clean her flat, ready for her landlords inspection this morning.

Without being disrespectful to her, her flat was an absolute shit hole!

The toilets were stained, her floors were filthy, her kitchen was minging, all her light shades were covered in dust, her skirtings were dirty.

I asked her why everything was so dirty, she said that she does what Mrs Hinch does!

I said what do you mean? She said well her house is immaculate so I just copy what she puts on insta so my flat should be like that.

For 18 months she’d squirted toilet duck round her loo but never actually scrubbed it.

She’d sprayed febreeze on everything but never washed anything ( her bedding had NEVER been washed) she’s lived in her flat for 18 months.

I explained to her that hinch doesnt actually clean anything but she wont have it, we packed 5 boxes full of cleaning products but her flat was filthy!

She also said she messages hinch all the time and replies to every single story bshe’s never even had a like on her message.

She’s been to the Dr’s 5 times since Sopha had Lonnie, because she’s worried about her because she’s not on instagram and she cant sleep or eat because she’s so stressed about her.

Im not saying Hinch is responsable for this girls situation BUT you get paid to be an influencer, so you DO have some responsibility for how your followers act.

 

[Bunnykins]

Another boring week with no actual work being done by anyone in the Hinch household.

The weekend saw Soph’s BFF Stacey Solomon attending a surprise hen weekend organised by her sister before she postponed her wedding until next year.
Shockingly, despite Stacey loving Soph to the moon and back she wasn’t invited. Surely she’s not going to be snubbed as her best bub’s bridesmaid...

Whilst this was all going on Inch was giving the impression that Soph wasn’t home, claiming to have been “sent” a photo of Lennie whilst he was in back garden with Ronnie and only sharing pics of himself and Ronderella. Surely they weren’t trying to con the sheep and us nusty trolls into thinking Soph was by her bestie’s side?

The ‘tend shit theme is still going strong. Inch thinks it’s appropriate to throw it at Ronnie when he’s not looking. Games with the shit now also includes Ron picking it out of his ‘tend toilet potty and sticking it on his white board, this bodes well for potty training, I hope they’ve got some spare tins of Egyptian Cotton for touch ups...

More boring baby content with a grid post from Soph which was a photo dump of Lennie wearing an outfit that looked like he was on the 80’s comedy club circuit, his Arsenal kit, oi oi savallllloyyyy, proper geezer like his dad and sitting on mummazzz knee.
Videos uploaded of Soph poking him and saying mumma, *poke* mumma, * poke * mumma... she’s like a particularly irritating Tiny Tears doll.

Inch decided to share his creepy collection of Sopha on the Sofa photos, we can only be thankful he held back from sharing his Freda Fiddle Fingers in the garage shots.

We then had lots of Henners content with Inch posting various pics of him as a puppy before they fed him up to be the size of a rhino and Sopha treating us to a video of her apparently putting him to bed on a fleece blanket in the middle of a heat wave whilst she was up to do Lennie’s feed.

Soph ironically started following Jake Quickenden so that she could jump on his post about trolls to have her own moan. (Dog bed meltdown incoming). She clearly hasn’t noticed that Jake is known to take the piss out of her himself on his stories despite them both being mates with Stacey and him being a friend of someone who works at Hinch’s agency...or perhaps that’s because of rather than despite..it’s almost like he knows something...

Off the gram and in the press The Sun and Fabulous mag began advertising for her new Teshhhco tat range which will be released later this year. Expect more on her design journeeee guyssshhh as she points out which pieces of crap that Tesco have already bought she likes best and tells them she needs it to be more grey / beige and more off the shoulder.
Hello magazine also did an article and accidentally pointed out she’s dressing Len in Tessshhhco’s rival Morrisons. Let’s hope her bosses at Tesco didn’t read it...

Inch decided to tell everyone on his grid that he is #blessed with Ron and Len.... please bless us and get a fucking job lazy arse... and then felt the need to point out that the Hinch Bros look so alike it’s almost like they’re related. They actually don’t look that alike except they’re both bald and little and by that reckoning Stanley Tucci could be their triplet.

Thanks for reading guyssshhh I promise I’ll be back soon insert plagiarised quote of your choice here.

Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.

Mod edit that title is far too much saying f'ing and twat in it! Report if there's a better one. Titles that are bodering on abusive and with swear words even censored aren't allowed.

 

[Andioooop]

Jamie looks a little vacant in that grid post

That’s because Freda’s giving him a good poke from behind, thought my eyes were playing tricks on me until i zoomed in

 

[Islandhoppin]

Her book has been discounted so much she is going to have to re-title it “This is Free”

 

[Tootle Pip Wiz]

Spot the difference.

 

[Duchessofmanchester]

I have a theory that if you have to plaster all over Instagram how happy you are in your relationship you're probably not that happy.

 

[Andioooop]

My face watching the story

 

[Bunnykins]

I don’t believe she has PND, sorry I don’t. Anyone here who has suffered with this, you all have my sympathy and support because you have genuinely been through one the toughest things life can throw at a woman, but her? No I’m sorry I just don’t believe her, it could be a case of the girl who cried wolf but I think her “struggles” are more to do with a lady who simply cannot cope with the responsibility of two children because she’s a spoilt, self centred bitch who doesn’t have a maternal bone in her body. A woman who has body issues who is finding it tough that as a woman’s in her 30s with her second child she’s having to work harder than living off mugshots to lose her weight. She’s probably changed shape completely, her hips will be too wide to fit into her size 8 jeans she loves to boast to her mates about.
She’s never matured mentally, mummy on tap, Jamie acting like her surrogate dad running after her all day like a devoted slave, she can’t cope that she’s responsible for those kids and that she’s not the kid any more.

 

[DisgruntledPelicans]

Just going to leave this here

 

[Hilopicklelo]

Calling bingo that she's waiting for Tattle to get bored enough to stop even checking her page as she has a massive announcement.

Inch has left her for Fredafiddlefingers and has taken the boys. He's officially changed Lennies name to Lonnie and admitted he was actually born in January.

Hinch meanwhile has moved to a massive cottage with her three main men...Roy, Rodney and Raymond the Alpacas. She's spent the last 2 months teaching Raymond to carve messages about how amazing she is in her ice cream. She's converted one of the rooms into a shrine for Stacey.

Hennerz has been sold to McDonald's as a body double for chicken strippers promo.

 

[Howdy]

My brother in law's girlfriend reminds me slightly of Inch... We had a conversation today, and it came up about jobs and working. My partner said "at least I have a job". The girlfriend turns round and says, " I don't need a job". My brother in law works as a joiner/ builder, he has a mortgage, which he pays for everything. And she sits on her arse living in luxury. They have a 1 year old together. She's basically a stay at home mum. I'm sorry but if you are able to work, then get off your arse and work!! Kids can be put into day care. It just made me laugh that people like this take the piss

Hang on a minute. If you can afford not to work when your child is young and want to stay at home and both parents have agreed to it then that is totally acceptable. It is not easy anyway being a stay at home mum. It's a job in itself which never stops all day. You don't get breaks and time out. The attitude that stay at home mums are lazy instead of valuing what they're doing raising children is depressing and part of what is so wrong with society. Motherhood is undervalued.

 

[DoodlePoodle]

Another boring week with no actual work being done by anyone in the Hinch household.

The weekend saw Soph’s BFF Stacey Solomon attending a surprise hen weekend organised by her sister before she postponed her wedding until next year.
Shockingly, despite Stacey loving Soph to the moon and back she wasn’t invited. Surely she’s not going to be snubbed as her best bub’s bridesmaid...

Whilst this was all going on Inch was giving the impression that Soph wasn’t home, claiming to have been “sent” a photo of Lennie whilst he was in back garden with Ronnie and only sharing pics of himself and Ronderella. Surely they weren’t trying to con the sheep and us nusty trolls into thinking Soph was by her bestie’s side?

The ‘tend shit theme is still going strong. Inch thinks it’s appropriate to throw it at Ronnie when he’s not looking. Games with the shit now also includes Ron picking it out of his ‘tend toilet potty and sticking it on his white board, this bodes well for potty training, I hope they’ve got some spare tins of Egyptian Cotton for touch ups...

More boring baby content with a grid post from Soph which was a photo dump of Lennie wearing an outfit that looked like he was on the 80’s comedy club circuit, his Arsenal kit, oi oi savallllloyyyy, proper geezer like his dad and sitting on mummazzz knee.
Videos uploaded of Soph poking him and saying mumma, *poke* mumma, * poke * mumma... she’s like a particularly irritating Tiny Tears doll.

Inch decided to share his creepy collection of Sopha on the Sofa photos, we can only be thankful he held back from sharing his Freda Fiddle Fingers in the garage shots.

We then had lots of Henners content with Inch posting various pics of him as a puppy before they fed him up to be the size of a rhino and Sopha treating us to a video of her apparently putting him to bed on a fleece blanket in the middle of a heat wave whilst she was up to do Lennie’s feed.

Soph ironically started following Jake Quickenden so that she could jump on his post about trolls to have her own moan. (Dog bed meltdown incoming). She clearly hasn’t noticed that Jake is known to take the piss out of her himself on his stories despite them both being mates with Stacey and him being a friend of someone who works at Hinch’s agency...or perhaps that’s because of rather than despite..it’s almost like he knows something...

Off the gram and in the press The Sun and Fabulous mag began advertising for her new Teshhhco tat range which will be released later this year. Expect more on her design journeeee guyssshhh as she points out which pieces of crap that Tesco have already bought she likes best and tells them she needs it to be more grey / beige and more off the shoulder.
Hello magazine also did an article and accidentally pointed out she’s dressing Len in Tessshhhco’s rival Morrisons. Let’s hope her bosses at Tesco didn’t read it...

Inch decided to tell everyone on his grid that he is #blessed with Ron and Len.... please bless us and get a fucking job lazy arse... and then felt the need to point out that the Hinch Bros look so alike it’s almost like they’re related. They actually don’t look that alike except they’re both bald and little and by that reckoning Stanley Tucci could be their triplet.

Thanks for reading guyssshhh I promise I’ll be back soon insert plagiarised quote of your choice here.

Wiki is the pink button at the top for newbies.
Ronnie and Lennie don’t rhyme.
Sophie doesn’t have a second name she added Rose in her teens.

Bloody hell you’re a genius!! How you put something so hilarious together out of literally nothing! Bravo

 

[Seeinganewlight]

Thread Suggestion: Inch day out with the lads lads lads but actually it was just ads ads ads…

inch

 

[HinchesSousChef]

If she hides for all of this time with the new baby it means she gets to
-hide how she’s feeding the baby
-hide that she doesn’t interact with Ronnie
-hide that she doesn’t change nappies
-hide that she doesn’t put the baby to sleep
-hide that she doesn’t do bath time

If she just came on as normal filming herself wanking her taps and popping to b&m for a tat haul we would also see that she doesn’t do the childcare in her family and it shatters the facade she has attempted to create that she does everything.

She needs to wait until Lennie is having “regular naps” so she can say “Lonnie is just having a nap so I’m going to wipe the kitchen”. Guarantee you she has been busy filming a load of gloved content. She is refilling her content bank.

 

[GBB]

So basically JamieNoMates went a mile down the road looked at some boys' toys that he can't afford on his weekly pocket money, had a chat with the garage floor man then went home to eat dinner Ma made while she babysat Sofa. Sounds a riveting day out with the tend mates. What a pillock

 

[Tootle Pip Wiz]

Is this seriously the same woman 12 weeks apart?!!
First one April at Stacey's. 2nd one, her recent grid post. More faces than Big Ben this one. Wouldn't recognise her if she walked past me in the street.

 

[Blondesx40x]

There was a woman called Hinch
Who's married to a knob called Inch..
He's not got a job, a big boring slob
Pig ugly more than heartthrob..

There was a man called Inch
Who's married to the Grinch..
She's on maternity or so she says
Here 1 minute then gone for days..

Inch then takes over, sopha's place on the gram
Endless shit posts worse than incoming spam...
You're not funny Jamie or even that smart
We all know it's Soph, using your account from the start..

So do us all a favour and give it a rest
Just piss off with Grinch
All the vest

 

[Status:PiningTheBog]

Guysssssschhhhh. My thread suggestion was chosen but removed due to expletives which is fine. I get it. But my heart is still smiling so much it hurts and I’ll “tend” that this thread has my title. Thanks for the hilarious recap @Bunnykins you absolute ledge.
My husband and I have been invited to an awards ceremony and we’re sat next to Brad Pitt, but I’ve declined, I’m just too nervous if I’m being honest. I’ll stay home and celebrate with a mug shot in a jug on the sofa. All the very best

 

[HinchesSousChef]

Is it really as difficult as she's making out going from one to two? I mean she's at a massive advantage compared to the majority of people given her knobby husband is at home too and her mother clearly hangs about like a bad smell. I've only got one and he's still a baby but I'd have thought with a second baby you would be able to do things much more efficiently for them compared to when it's your first and you haven't a clue what you're doing. Or is she just generally incapable?

If you are in a typical situation where you’re home on your own with two smalls then yes, yes it is hard work - but like everything with babies you just survive each day as it comes! You have good days and bad days. You don’t set the bar too high. You just keep things simple until you figure it out. And your sling in the most important piece of baby equipment
However I genuinely struggle to feel any sympathy for hinch when she has Jamie home all day; Ma on tap; potentially Ronnie at nursery. She’s dressed, hair and make up done. The house looks pretty bloody immaculate to me. She has time to swing in an egg chair with a sleeping baby without a toddler climbing all over her asking for a snack or wanting to be on her lap. The only thing she is struggling with is her appearance and her relevance. Nothing baby related.

 

[Soapy]

Super Garraway to the party I know but just watched Jamie's stories and I have some thoughts....

Who in their right mind takea a video like that, watches it back and thinks ooh yes I'll post that?? Sofe, Jamie, DO BETTER AND PROTECT THAT LITTLE BOY. I've never seen such a sad and tired face, he obviously was not enjoying it, and did not like it at all when the car was driven away from whichever of them was stood behind filming.

Which then leads me to ask, who was filming? As I'd like to see Jamie film with one hand and use the remote control for the mean-mobile with his other absolutely heart breaking, I don't think Ronniegentlesoulmanzhazfootsandhateszfootballz likes the car so maybe call it a bad job and pop it in the storage unit with the digger and bouncy castle. Or into the loft with Trace. Hope you're ok Trace and that your new venture is going well

Also get that bib of him you pair of twats. For starters he looked ridiculous, and it will make his neck sweaty. If it's warm enough to go out with wet hair then that hoofing bit of fabric isn't necessary, a bit of dribble on his t-shirt will dry. Fucking weird. Weird weird weird.