MuckyDucker
VIP Member
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elizalou1985
Chatty Member
Thread title suggestion
Brian’s landlord
Brian’s landlord
spookydooky
Well-known member
#30 Pete wicks best mates sister.
windowlickinggood
Well-known member
#30 Pete Wicks’ best mate’s neighbour
Mythoughts
Chatty Member
Do you think he meant to post that publicly!
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JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
Right, that nonentity Louise and her lame sidekick Ryan haven’t exactly been setting the world alight. We are still waiting for Cook with Brian, AKA how to burn sausages and open an Old El Paso packet. He now wears a Christmas hat to do pretty much anything in and has done since the 13th November and yes he does look as ridiculous as he sounds.
Oh, Leo is now 2, and to celebrate this they went all out with some Sainsbury’s balloons that they then did a stupid dance in front of while totally ignoring Leo. Loopy was amazed that you could decorate for someone’s birthday on a budget of £40. On the big day itself Loopy posted some shit about having her organs taken out, Ryan went to reminisce in a cafe opposite the hospital where Leo was born and Leo went to nursery. He’d already had his present which was an Aldi train set, and credit where it’s due to Brian he did take a morning to painstakingly put it together after poring over the instruction booklet.
Not to worry though! The celebrations were just beginning! At the weekend Leo got to go to someone else’s birthday party at an adventure soft play, and then had his own dinner party that went late into the night. The absolute star of the party was a ‘cake’ made by Louise that was made with 5kg of butter and resembled a hedgehog that had been melted at random with a Bunsen burner.
The next weekend Leo even got to go to the zoo, even though Louise thought it was incredibly expensive at about £24. This is what she regularly spends on eggs and sourdough for a weekday breakfast so I’m not sure what she’s moaning about. Ryan found the reptile house and posted 15 pictures of various lizards and skinks, with his own lizard-eyed mug at the end of it.
We of course all know what the really big news is, and that’s Sam doing really well on IACGMOOH, as we all predicted. Despite not watching telly even though she has one in her bathroom Louise has been ‘regularly tuning in’ to throw shade on Sam for not being very good at exams. The poor lass is clearly still dealing with her jealousy over Zara being on Strictly, and she dug out a little ballroom-inspired dress to pose in.
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Oh, Leo is now 2, and to celebrate this they went all out with some Sainsbury’s balloons that they then did a stupid dance in front of while totally ignoring Leo. Loopy was amazed that you could decorate for someone’s birthday on a budget of £40. On the big day itself Loopy posted some shit about having her organs taken out, Ryan went to reminisce in a cafe opposite the hospital where Leo was born and Leo went to nursery. He’d already had his present which was an Aldi train set, and credit where it’s due to Brian he did take a morning to painstakingly put it together after poring over the instruction booklet.
Not to worry though! The celebrations were just beginning! At the weekend Leo got to go to someone else’s birthday party at an adventure soft play, and then had his own dinner party that went late into the night. The absolute star of the party was a ‘cake’ made by Louise that was made with 5kg of butter and resembled a hedgehog that had been melted at random with a Bunsen burner.
The next weekend Leo even got to go to the zoo, even though Louise thought it was incredibly expensive at about £24. This is what she regularly spends on eggs and sourdough for a weekday breakfast so I’m not sure what she’s moaning about. Ryan found the reptile house and posted 15 pictures of various lizards and skinks, with his own lizard-eyed mug at the end of it.
We of course all know what the really big news is, and that’s Sam doing really well on IACGMOOH, as we all predicted. Despite not watching telly even though she has one in her bathroom Louise has been ‘regularly tuning in’ to throw shade on Sam for not being very good at exams. The poor lass is clearly still dealing with her jealousy over Zara being on Strictly, and she dug out a little ballroom-inspired dress to pose in.
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Hannahc546
VIP Member
Mythoughts
Chatty Member
Why is he watching chicken run now whilst his child is asleep but reacher when he's awake?! Makes zero sense!
JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
So Leo isn’t talking in sentences, but can put words together…. Like a short sentence?!
a toddler saying ‘want more juice’ IS a sentence, they don’t have to say ‘what ho father, would you be so kind as to fetch me the remainder of the blackcurrant cordial, I do declare I’m rather parched’ for it to count as a sentence 
a toddler saying ‘want more juice’ IS a sentence, they don’t have to say ‘what ho father, would you be so kind as to fetch me the remainder of the blackcurrant cordial, I do declare I’m rather parched’ for it to count as a sentence 
JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
what does Ryan need good quality kitchen ‘blades’ for? To pierce the packaging on his Sainsburys chicken goujons?
Toad in the Hole
Chatty Member
I imagine it has been a fucking hard two years for Sam listening to her self indulgent trauma
Shame that’s what it took for him to feel a proper part of his nephew’s life. I feel pretty sorry for Sam.
JarvisCockerSpaniel
VIP Member
Thread suggestion
Louise Thompson, Girlfriend of the Urban Cocklodger with No Assets
Louise Thompson, Girlfriend of the Urban Cocklodger with No Assets
MuckyDucker
VIP Member
Hands up who has ever seen Leo happier??? Zara may not by everyone's cup of 
but she's a bloody great Auntie
but she's a bloody great AuntieAttachments
formerlurker
Well-known member
Has anyone seen the video Zara has shared of her and Leo chanting ‘Team Sam’? Leo actually leans into her and seems to seek affection from her. So much more in 10 seconds than I’ve ever seen towards Brian or TT.
Soapy Dolphin
VIP Member
I'm not a fan of the muscle bound look. It's not athletic or aerobic fitness. It's just the ability to lift gym equipment...in a hat.
Always makes me think of this:
Big thick neck, big dense head.
Always makes me think of this:
Big thick neck, big dense head.
rainbowhouse
VIP Member
Is she for real? “Surviving the Christmas holidays”?! You don’t have a job and send him to nursery full time so you can write messages to yourself in the steam on your windows, but now you’ve got to do some baking with your kid because nursery is closed for a week or two.
“Surviving the Christmas holidays” for most families is juggling childcare whilst being knackered from working hours and hours each week and trying to afford everything so you can enjoy a few days with your children.
“Surviving the Christmas holidays” for most families is juggling childcare whilst being knackered from working hours and hours each week and trying to afford everything so you can enjoy a few days with your children.
A-Soul
VIP Member
Love that her new haircut post with 10 (excessive) photographs, centred around having a ‘Mum chop’ doesn’t even have her son in one single frame. Louise all over.
(Also want to apologise for some of my grammar and sentence structure on this thread. I had a stroke some time ago, and these are some of the things I struggle with the most.)
(Also want to apologise for some of my grammar and sentence structure on this thread. I had a stroke some time ago, and these are some of the things I struggle with the most.)