Right, that nonentity Louise and her lame sidekick Ryan haven’t exactly been setting the world alight. We are still waiting for Cook with Brian, AKA how to burn sausages and open an Old El Paso packet. He now wears a Christmas hat to do pretty much anything in and has done since the 13th November and yes he does look as ridiculous as he sounds.
Oh, Leo is now 2, and to celebrate this they went all out with some Sainsbury’s balloons that they then did a stupid dance in front of while totally ignoring Leo. Loopy was amazed that you could decorate for someone’s birthday on a budget of £40. On the big day itself Loopy posted some tit about having her organs taken out, Ryan went to reminisce in a cafe opposite the hospital where Leo was born and Leo went to nursery. He’d already had his present which was an Aldi train set, and credit where it’s due to Brian he did take a morning to painstakingly put it together after poring over the instruction booklet.
Not to worry though! The celebrations were just beginning! At the weekend Leo got to go to someone else’s birthday party at an adventure soft play, and then had his own dinner party that went late into the night. The absolute star of the party was a ‘cake’ made by Louise that was made with 5kg of butter and resembled a hedgehog that had been melted at random with a Bunsen burner.
The next weekend Leo even got to go to the zoo, even though Louise thought it was incredibly expensive at about £24. This is what she regularly spends on eggs and sourdough for a weekday breakfast so I’m not sure what she’s moaning about. Ryan found the reptile house and posted 15 pictures of various lizards and skinks, with his own lizard-eyed mug at the end of it.
We of course all know what the really big news is, and that’s Sam doing really well on IACGMOOH, as we all predicted. Despite not watching telly even though she has one in her bathroom Louise has been ‘regularly tuning in’ to throw shade on Sam for not being very good at exams. The poor lass is clearly still dealing with her jealousy over Zara being on Strictly, and she dug out a little ballroom-inspired dress to pose in.
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