Oh the very audacity of a hard-working, tax-paying British woman giving birth in her local hospital
how bloody dare she. Whole financial situation of the NHS sits firmly on the conscience and shoulders of child-bearing women.
- Notice
how bloody dare she. Whole financial situation of the NHS sits firmly on the conscience and shoulders of child-bearing women.Gonefishing29
Well-known member
It’s really worth keeping in mind why a woman might be scared of giving birth before making any judgments. Keep in mind that a woman may have experienced some form of sexual abuse and the thought of a stranger internally examining them throughout labour could be extremely traumatic and triggering experience for them which could increase an already very vunerble person at greater risk of PND or PTSD. I’m not saying this is Kate’s reasons for wanting a c-section but I know women who have dealt with the above. I’m sure Kate has her own valid reasons which shouldn’t be dismissed.
To say that a woman shouldn’t be allowed a c section on the NHS is a bitchy and bloody mean thing to say. Take into consideration that, a woman is a person with rights to a birth that makes her feel as safe as possible. I frankly say piss right off to all those suggesting anything else.
To say that a woman shouldn’t be allowed a c section on the NHS is a bitchy and bloody mean thing to say. Take into consideration that, a woman is a person with rights to a birth that makes her feel as safe as possible. I frankly say piss right off to all those suggesting anything else.
quinzel
VIP Member
Probably an unpopular opinion but the minute I switched to formula my son was like a different baby. We all have our struggles, the guilt ate away at me (I still sometimes feel guilty for it) but I had to for my sanity. I hope Kate can keep in mind that it's always an option. I am not saying persevering with BFing doesn't work but in the short term you have to weigh up your mental health vs the benefits of it.
Gonefishing29
Well-known member
well all I can say is THANK god it’s people like you that aren’t in charge of making decisions for people like me and Kate. Regardless of anyone’s financial situation a tax paying citizen should be entitled to a safe choice of delivery for the birth of their child on the NHS and if that choice for whatever reason is a c section, then so be it.
Carrie2019
Active member
I hated the newborn stage. Hated it.
I felt I was lulled into a false sense of security cos all I’d ever seen was Facebook posts and social media posts saying how amazing it was.
I used to cry in bed because I was so overwhelmed.
Our baby was a result of £30,000 and years of Ivf and I felt guilty I wasn’t enjoying it.
Then it turns out none of my friends liked it either but they never shared it cos they didn’t want people to think bad of them.
So when another friend of mine in October also hated it and was crying every day I told her it was ok to not like it.
My baby was born end of May 2020. I had no support from midwives or health visitors or anything so I dont think that helped me.
We have 2 more embryos but I hated the newborn stage that much I think I am one and done
I felt I was lulled into a false sense of security cos all I’d ever seen was Facebook posts and social media posts saying how amazing it was.
I used to cry in bed because I was so overwhelmed.
Our baby was a result of £30,000 and years of Ivf and I felt guilty I wasn’t enjoying it.
Then it turns out none of my friends liked it either but they never shared it cos they didn’t want people to think bad of them.
So when another friend of mine in October also hated it and was crying every day I told her it was ok to not like it.
My baby was born end of May 2020. I had no support from midwives or health visitors or anything so I dont think that helped me.
We have 2 more embryos but I hated the newborn stage that much I think I am one and done
Ahh jees, don’t go after pregnant ladies opting for c-sections for their births regarding cost saving- look at gov funding, all the useless middle management which exists. Same could be said for a huge proportion of fatties not looking after their health for years and inflicting type 2 diabetes (and the rest) onto themselves. Being obese costs the NHS millions it could do without.
Happyvalley
VIP Member
I can’t understand all the hate for her taking her newborn to the hospital. Surely it’s never worth the risk with a newborn? Any infection could turn to sepsis so I don’t blame her one bit for it. It’s comes across to me that she’s posting to show the true realities that come with a newborn baby.
Lanavalentine
VIP Member
Catching up on this thread after seeing her post... got to be honest, some of this thread is pretty depressing reading.
Now maybe I just see it this way because I’m childfree, but so many comments on Insta and on here are basically saying “she’s too negative”... but she’s clearly struggling and I APPLAUD her honesty.
I get wanting to reassure pregnant women that it will all be ok, but I’ll never understand the mums who try to shout down every negative experience with “oh but she just needs to do this” etc. How would you know?
Surely esperiences vary wildly!
Honestly, I wish more women were honest about how difficult they find elements of parenting. One of the reasons I’m childfree is that I know too many women who were convinced by the “oh it’s hard but it’s all so amazing and worth it” brigade. That definitely isn’t true for everyone.
I wish Kate a lot of luck and I hope she’s ok. Even some of the people who think they’re helpful are accidentally insulting her or making her feel shit.
Now maybe I just see it this way because I’m childfree, but so many comments on Insta and on here are basically saying “she’s too negative”... but she’s clearly struggling and I APPLAUD her honesty.
I get wanting to reassure pregnant women that it will all be ok, but I’ll never understand the mums who try to shout down every negative experience with “oh but she just needs to do this” etc. How would you know?
Surely esperiences vary wildly!
Honestly, I wish more women were honest about how difficult they find elements of parenting. One of the reasons I’m childfree is that I know too many women who were convinced by the “oh it’s hard but it’s all so amazing and worth it” brigade. That definitely isn’t true for everyone.
I wish Kate a lot of luck and I hope she’s ok. Even some of the people who think they’re helpful are accidentally insulting her or making her feel shit.
OutrageouslyScarlet
VIP Member
There was defo a shaming post, where lots of people on this forum will have formula fed. Doesn’t make them bad mother’s. Such a boring convo don’t understand why others care what women do with their babies and breasts.
RobinsHood
Chatty Member
Fair play to you mums on here who just got on with it/ struggled (or not) with a baby/ multiple kids and no outside support.
It just seems a bit unfair to notice that Kate has struggled and then call her out for getting a doula? What would you rather....watch her carry on struggling and moaning?
I haven’t got kids as I love my life as it is. But it’s clear that some people find motherhood easier than others, everyone’s different and everyone’s baby is different.
Hats off to you mums who didn’t get any help in, I’m not sure I’d have a doula but I certainly don’t see any harm in it. You don’t get given special mum medals depending on how much you coped / struggled on your own
why struggle if you can get help?
It just seems a bit unfair to notice that Kate has struggled and then call her out for getting a doula? What would you rather....watch her carry on struggling and moaning?
I haven’t got kids as I love my life as it is. But it’s clear that some people find motherhood easier than others, everyone’s different and everyone’s baby is different.
Hats off to you mums who didn’t get any help in, I’m not sure I’d have a doula but I certainly don’t see any harm in it. You don’t get given special mum medals depending on how much you coped / struggled on your own
why struggle if you can get help?
I think if people want to talk about feeding it's best on another thread in offtopic so this is kept on topic
Breast feeding | Tattle Life
tattle.life
CaroleBaskinDidIt
Active member
I’m sure it is very helpful and comforting to many women that she’s been so open about finding a new baby difficult.
But I do find myself feeling a bit sad about the amount of mumstagrammers who do this nowadays - the whole “it’s okay not to be okay” thing is absolutely valid but I’m starting to feel it’s going in the opposite direction now and it’s almost ‘cool’ to say you hate it and you’re having a miserable time etc. I sympathise with that but I also feel for the babies who are going to grow up and read/hear all about how it ruined their parents lives for a bit.
And on a completely selfish note it makes me feel like a bit of a prick because I have absolutely LOVED everything about motherhood so far. Pregnancy, newborn days, breastfeeding etc. I am a grown woman who did my research and set my life up in a way that would help me cope when bits of it got to be really fucking knuckle-bitingly difficult. So I didn’t actually find any of it THAT hard even after a fairly traumatic birth. But it’s almost taboo to say that now lest you get labelled a Stepford Wife-esque mummy shamer.
Back to KL though, and I don’t think she made the right decision by naming the trolls. Yes they trolled her publicly etc but the difference is Kate has what, 300k ‘mates’ who could potentially make these peoples’ lives hell if they chose to, just for (what is admittedly also wrong) silly comments. It’s doxxing, effectively and it doesn’t really sit right with me personally.
But I do find myself feeling a bit sad about the amount of mumstagrammers who do this nowadays - the whole “it’s okay not to be okay” thing is absolutely valid but I’m starting to feel it’s going in the opposite direction now and it’s almost ‘cool’ to say you hate it and you’re having a miserable time etc. I sympathise with that but I also feel for the babies who are going to grow up and read/hear all about how it ruined their parents lives for a bit.
And on a completely selfish note it makes me feel like a bit of a prick because I have absolutely LOVED everything about motherhood so far. Pregnancy, newborn days, breastfeeding etc. I am a grown woman who did my research and set my life up in a way that would help me cope when bits of it got to be really fucking knuckle-bitingly difficult. So I didn’t actually find any of it THAT hard even after a fairly traumatic birth. But it’s almost taboo to say that now lest you get labelled a Stepford Wife-esque mummy shamer.
Back to KL though, and I don’t think she made the right decision by naming the trolls. Yes they trolled her publicly etc but the difference is Kate has what, 300k ‘mates’ who could potentially make these peoples’ lives hell if they chose to, just for (what is admittedly also wrong) silly comments. It’s doxxing, effectively and it doesn’t really sit right with me personally.
Must be nice being perfect ay? You don’t know their situation, maybe they need the money.
Being a first time mum is fucking hard no matter what age you are. That added to the stress of having to go to hospital 3 times in 3 weeks and doing it in the midst of a pandemic when life is shit for just about everyone right now makes me feel for her. Instagram can be a distraction from reality when you’re very stressed or anxious.
For some like myself who cannot have children and cannot afford fertility treatment, a pet is the closest thing for some.
maytoseptember
VIP Member
Kate strikes me as someone who clearly wasn’t keen on having kids, but changed her mind for the sake of her partner and is now regretting it. They’ve had a rough ride of things with multiple A&E trips and infections. It’s a recipe for postnatal depression. My first baby was very planned and wanted, but even then I remember feeling totally floored and traumatised and thinking “I didn’t sign up for this”.
MakeDamnSure
VIP Member
I knew it wouldn’t be long before the breastfeeding/leaky boobs/big maternity pants pictures would appear. Honestly it’s like playing instamum bingo and kates nearly got a full house now!
Having a newborn is hard, who knew?! It says something when your whole world has been turned upside down and your crying about something and you think ‘I better get a picture of this for instagram’
Having a newborn is hard, who knew?! It says something when your whole world has been turned upside down and your crying about something and you think ‘I better get a picture of this for instagram’
Lanavalentine
VIP Member
Well as someone heavily involved with local cat rescue, I can say I wish people who plan on having kids would stop getting cats before they get pregnant. Get the cats AFTER you’ve had the kids, always.
Honestly, I don’t want to be rude but it’s so depressing to read. The amount of cats who basically live on the streets because people didn’t think ahead, or get dumped in rehoming places and end up getting put down... and to read it about dogs, too? I know people who’ve done it as well. It makes me so sad. Nobody says you have to love your pets as much as your kids, but I wish people would think about their longterm plans a bit more realistically before they get a pet.
Anyway, hope Kate Lawler takes the Gemma Atkinson route when her baby arrives. Gemma is fantastic with her dogs and her daughter. I also hope nobody who gave up their pets because of their kids is going around calling childfree women selfish...
Honestly, I don’t want to be rude but it’s so depressing to read. The amount of cats who basically live on the streets because people didn’t think ahead, or get dumped in rehoming places and end up getting put down... and to read it about dogs, too? I know people who’ve done it as well. It makes me so sad. Nobody says you have to love your pets as much as your kids, but I wish people would think about their longterm plans a bit more realistically before they get a pet.
Anyway, hope Kate Lawler takes the Gemma Atkinson route when her baby arrives. Gemma is fantastic with her dogs and her daughter. I also hope nobody who gave up their pets because of their kids is going around calling childfree women selfish...
Oh my word!!!! Look at Robin Williams, prime example of tears of a clown!!!
Maybe have a wee read about mental health, it's not all tears and lying in bed for days on end. It's smiling through the dark, empty void
She called 111 and they advised her to go, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t follow that advice with a newborn baby. An infection could kill a newborn if left untreated.
Don’t you think a&e would have sent them home again if they didn’t think it needed treated? There’s no way they would attempt to put a canula into a tiny baby’s hand 8 times for nothing.
Don’t you think a&e would have sent them home again if they didn’t think it needed treated? There’s no way they would attempt to put a canula into a tiny baby’s hand 8 times for nothing.