First thing I thought when I seen that post was - has she been reading here?
Kate Lawler
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But why should she ‘be kind’ to them after they’ve been crappy to her?
if they were kind in the first place then they wouldn’t have left those comments so there wouldn’t be this situation in the first place. I hope they get crappy messages from kates fans and that their friends and colleagues might recognise their name and call them out on their crappy behaviour. Maybe then they’ll reflect and realise that maybe they shouldn’t be writing unkind things on peoples Instagram posts, especially when that person is clearly going through a tough time.
It was in a comment someone put on her instagram, I have followed Kate for a while now and think shes so lovely, it seems like shes getting lots of support from family and friends though so thats good x
Hi Kate
Hope you feel better soon. The newborn days do pass.I feel really sorry for Kate 
I hope things feel brighter for her soon
I hope things feel brighter for her soon
Catching up on this thread after seeing her post... got to be honest, some of this thread is pretty depressing reading.
Now maybe I just see it this way because I’m childfree, but so many comments on Insta and on here are basically saying “she’s too negative”... but she’s clearly struggling and I APPLAUD her honesty.
I get wanting to reassure pregnant women that it will all be ok, but I’ll never understand the mums who try to shout down every negative experience with “oh but she just needs to do this” etc. How would you know?
Surely esperiences vary wildly!
Honestly, I wish more women were honest about how difficult they find elements of parenting. One of the reasons I’m childfree is that I know too many women who were convinced by the “oh it’s hard but it’s all so amazing and worth it” brigade. That definitely isn’t true for everyone.
I wish Kate a lot of luck and I hope she’s ok. Even some of the people who think they’re helpful are accidentally insulting her or making her feel tit.
Now maybe I just see it this way because I’m childfree, but so many comments on Insta and on here are basically saying “she’s too negative”... but she’s clearly struggling and I APPLAUD her honesty.
I get wanting to reassure pregnant women that it will all be ok, but I’ll never understand the mums who try to shout down every negative experience with “oh but she just needs to do this” etc. How would you know?
Surely esperiences vary wildly!
Honestly, I wish more women were honest about how difficult they find elements of parenting. One of the reasons I’m childfree is that I know too many women who were convinced by the “oh it’s hard but it’s all so amazing and worth it” brigade. That definitely isn’t true for everyone.
I wish Kate a lot of luck and I hope she’s ok. Even some of the people who think they’re helpful are accidentally insulting her or making her feel tit.
Hi Kate
I am not Kate, but then again if I was I would say that, feel free to look at previous posts for evidence of my non Kate-ness I just think people who send crappy messages or write crappy comments that are made solely to upset are scummy people. There’s no need for it. Especially on a Mother’s Day post of all things.
Wee disclaimer though: I don’t think Instagram should be an echo chamber and folk should be able to comment their opinions etc on posts. But saying hurtful or nasty things that’s just been said to upset someone is out of order. There’s places like Tattle if they want to rant about someone.
I started following Kate when I heard about their podcast, we are in pretty much in exactly the same situation as them but just a few years younger and the fact my husband is on the fence with me. Seeing her struggle and all the other mums that have had babies in the last year or so is really really putting me off. They are all having a tit time of it and tbh I’m looking at the daily updates from them and thinking wtaf is anyone having kids at all as it looks like hell, like years and years of hell
and clearly some of them regret having them.
I applaud her for being honest & telling it exactly as it is! We all know how cruel & judgemental people can be! Her baby has been very poorly & its not been how she thought it would be. We all have an idea in our head of how it should be. Then real life kicks in & nothing prepares you for how its going to be!
Least she is being honest & not being fake!
Least she is being honest & not being fake!
This was my first thought too.
Same.
I just think if she is that stressed and baby has been so poorly. Step away from your phone and Instagram. I can not abide innocent children being splashed all over the internet for god knows who to do god knows what with. And I can not abide the awful hospital pictures of anyone let alone a baby without consent.When poorly in hospital you are at your most vulnerable, I don’t see how putting pics out for the world to see is helping in any situation. I get that she’s is saying she wants to show the real side of motherhood but it’s not for me all this splashing your child over Instagram sorry .
That's the trouble with Instagram though it's only half the picture, I was in exactly the same position as you and don't regret having my daughter for a second, even though it was hard and I was dreading it the whole pregnancy. It's worrying that Instagram can have such an influence as we need to be able to come to our own decisions! Not Kate in particular but the whole Mum brigade!
I just think people who send crappy messages or write crappy comments that are made solely to upset are scummy people. There’s no need for it. Especially on a Mother’s Day post of all things.
Wee disclaimer though: I don’t think Instagram should be an echo chamber and folk should be able to comment their opinions etc on posts. But saying hurtful or nasty things that’s just been said to upset someone is out of order. There’s places like Tattle if they want to rant about someone.
I started following Kate when I heard about their podcast, we are in pretty much in exactly the same situation as them but just a few years younger and the fact my husband is on the fence with me. Seeing her struggle and all the other mums that have had babies in the last year or so is really really putting me off. They are all having a tit time of it and tbh I’m looking at the daily updates from them and thinking wtaf is anyone having kids at all as it looks like hell, like years and years of hell
Because she is the one telling people to be kind! That’s why she’s being a hypocrite.
And if that person then took their own life because they couldn’t cope with the shame of all of their family, friends and colleagues knowing that they had been writing nasty comments, is that ok? Do they deserve that too? How does that fit in with #bekind?
With influencers be kind only goes one way.
I really feel for Kate. The newborn days are hard, there’s no denying that. Harder still when there’s been illness & trips to the hospital and during a bloody pandemic! It can’t be easy and she’s admitted that she is struggling.
that being said,and this is a more general point not directly aimed at Kate but the martyrdom that exists online is getting beyond a joke. We all know that “trolls” exist online, so can anyone really expect to open up their whole lives online and not have a small percentage of negativity come along with it?
kate has been monetising this pregnancy and birth and motherhood since before the baby was even conceived, she has made the decision to do that online and over social media knowing full well how the media works and knowing that we all live in a world where trolling exists. So what on Earth was she expecting? You can’t have one without the other it seems.
if she is struggling then for the love of God her partner needs to step in and get her off social media completely so that they can navigate this in private. I can’t understand this constant narrative of people going ape tit about trolling but then continuing to be an online presence and then carry on complaining about negativity.
that being said,and this is a more general point not directly aimed at Kate but the martyrdom that exists online is getting beyond a joke. We all know that “trolls” exist online, so can anyone really expect to open up their whole lives online and not have a small percentage of negativity come along with it?
kate has been monetising this pregnancy and birth and motherhood since before the baby was even conceived, she has made the decision to do that online and over social media knowing full well how the media works and knowing that we all live in a world where trolling exists. So what on Earth was she expecting? You can’t have one without the other it seems.
if she is struggling then for the love of God her partner needs to step in and get her off social media completely so that they can navigate this in private. I can’t understand this constant narrative of people going ape tit about trolling but then continuing to be an online presence and then carry on complaining about negativity.
If they didn’t want their friends, family or colleagues to see them write nasty uncalled for comments, then maybe they shouldn’t write them on a public Instagram post????
The pregnancy and everything after was sold, hence the podcast, mtv show, ads etc etc. Out of thousands of comments they didn't expect a couple of people who thought differently? Really?! As for the argument that women need to be more honest, agree with this 100%. However, almost every single Insta mum is honest, I rarely see anyone hiding the difficulty of the early weeks. For many Insta mums it's become their niche - to discuss and monetize the hardships of being a mum, and it's very profitable.
It's important we see all sides, but they need to decide what they're willing to share to 250k strangers online, and if they do decide to share they have to expect some negativity. This is the online world, its awful and distressing but it comes with having a platform and monetizing your life. This is why most of us would never ever overshare online. It's just not worth the abuse or affect on mental health. Also, scary that people online recognised that she was struggling way before she made it public. Instagram is not all sunshine and money. It can be a dark place and take you to dark places if you're not careful.
It's important we see all sides, but they need to decide what they're willing to share to 250k strangers online, and if they do decide to share they have to expect some negativity. This is the online world, its awful and distressing but it comes with having a platform and monetizing your life. This is why most of us would never ever overshare online. It's just not worth the abuse or affect on mental health. Also, scary that people online recognised that she was struggling way before she made it public. Instagram is not all sunshine and money. It can be a dark place and take you to dark places if you're not careful.
Do you see every single comment that your friends, family, colleagues post on other people’s social media? I don’t. By Kate posting them publicly, they almost certainly will be seen. It’s not right that people leave nasty comments on her Instagram but I don’t think it’s right for Kate to post their names publicly like that either. We can disagree on that. You have your opinion and I have mine.
I wish I could like your comment a thousand times. Monetising your pregnancy and child is such a slippery slope, I do seriously wonder about the people that do it. I can't imagine why anyone who seems financially secure would do such a thing. I do feel for Kate but this clearly was not right for her. Getting off social media might go a long way with helping her if she does indeed have PND.
Exactly. And other people will go to their profiles and directly abuse them too, which is directly because Kate has encouraged it. Yes the people shouldn’t write unkind comments in the first place, but that doesn’t mean they deserve everything they get after Kate has highlighted them to her hundreds of thousands of followers. What if they kill themselves? Is it only people who behave ‘perfectly’ online who deserve to be treated well, otherwise they deserve everything they get? Kate is a total hypocrite. She should just block them and rise above.
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