Jake Quickenden #81 Fakey is a donkey that nobody admired, permanently injured and always oh so tired

[Livia Fantasy]

What the hell is that lump on his face.

His head

 

[Vanilla Ice]

Ode for the Prickenden’s

Fakey is stinking of lager and piss
Surely that’s something his wife won’t miss
Flappy’’s to busy sending her shit back
And her husband is just a total ball sack
Time with Nik Nak would be better spent
Doesn’t she realise her husband is bent
Money is tight so she sells on vinted
He spends freely so they will never be minted
Every day starts him in his piss tub
Grief thieving/preaching whilst having a rub
Crappy jobs earning just a few pennies
His main audiences are people with tennes
Strangers having photos who is this mug
Ladies look closer and see his naff rug
Haircut looming oh what a joke
Obviously I’d rather have me some coke
Off on Sunday to see flaps and the kids
Hoping she’s sold to give me some quids
Everyone clapping and going quite silly
Maybe it’s because of my little short willy
I’m famous now don’t you know
So cheers everyone I must go

 

[IamMyaJ]

Oh my god so I’ve heard some tea today well it’s not piping hot because this cunt is so predictable right. But a friend of a friend knows a girl called Emily who is a runner for LW (she’s worked on all sorts like GMB & HIGNFY) anyway behind the scenes yesterday he got absolutely ripped because he basically came in like some kind of fucking A lister and parades down the halls like he is so well known and everyone should bow down!! It sounds like he is approaching or perhaps polly parrot is approaching asking to get Jake these gigs for his fucking portfolio they don’t even approach him FUCKING HELL IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HIM

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Sorry I’m like a dog with a bone this morning but another thing about his ‘message’. He always put Leo, Fred, Soph in that order, where most people always write oldest to youngest. He always calls her ‘Soph’ never Sophie. It’s so fucking blatant it’s his words. He just remembered not to do the double exclamation mark he normally does
As for ‘providing a nice life for his family’. I know he’s barely there but has he seen the state of his house and how his kid is dressed and in desperate need of a haircut? 95% of their trips/holidays have been grifted by Flappy so what does he personally do to provide them with a nice life? Someone has definitely rattled his cage this morning. Probably someone questioning why he left his family last night when his TV appearance isn’t until lunchtime

 

[Robin71]

Apparently there was a standing ovation yeah alright fakey most of them can’t even get to their feet unaided! One interesting comment though he isn’t doing the November dates so he is taking the whole month off for the fight

 

[ThortheDog2022]

That video of him eating the tuna saying ‘fishy’ is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen why does he need to sit topless?!

 

[Livia Fantasy]

FFS he looks like one of the Chuckle Brothers there. The dead one

Jake Chuckleden’s famous catchphrase “To Me, To Me”

 

[Philimena cunk]

I thought he was going on to talk about the full MontyWhat a utter embarrassment and he’s so chuffed with himselfSmall brain even smaller dick and the personality of my big toe

I've got cauliflowers on my veggie patch with more fucking charisma than this cunt.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Southampton is very local. Shall I go autograph hunting?

“what’s your name?”
- “It’s Tatania, but my friends call me Tattle”

 

[StrictlyNoFakey]

Holy shittttttt…

 

[intheindustry]

I’d still rather be married to a man who goes out to work every day of the week, brings in a regular income and is a great role model to our children. To be honest think my husband brings in more than Fakey and doesn’t need to sell his soul, I don’t need to sit at home begging for clothes, beauty products and holidays (I can afford those items myself!) and we don’t need to have our kids plastered all over social media.
Wouldn’t trade my life with theirs at all. They are entertaining to watch because it’s a car crash, what they fail to realise is that we are a society of voyeurs, not envious and not trolling, just saying what we see. A sad fame hungry man who lies in bed with his top off, has an excessive relationship with fitness, and thinks the world owes him a living by getting on tv.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

He looks like a fucking hobo

You’re one letter out.

 

[mollyann]

Please someone make her stop.Those boots are shit she really is clueless.See she’s over her grief and been non stop selling cheap .

 

[Robin71]

It’s going to be a long day he says at 11am and look at him holding up his Loose Women cards like it’s an invitation to Buckingham Palace the saddo probably be on screen for two minutes

 

[Lico]

Does he realise that we are all going to die? His mother, stepfather, wife, all going to die. He's going to die, I'm going to die. Hopefully he will die before his kids. That is the way the world should work. Birth is the beginning of the end fake.
I lost my brother and dad. I was very close to them. Most people I have met since then don't know, cause I don't go round telling them. It was terrible and traumatic, but life goes on.

 

[mollyann]

I went into my office and ordered this one .You are welcome fakey Jake

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Might head to Southampton, wait at stage door, get an autograph, say I love him on TV, he's so brave, family seem lovely etc.

Then as I walk away, loudly fake a phone call to a bestie going "omg i cant believe i just met danny dyer!"

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Yesterday she said she’s the queen of getting rid of stuff. She’s lying! She’s only doing it out of desperation, she so badly needs to bring in money.

Just putting this out there as a renegade idea. Has she considered, now bear with me here, getting a job?

 

[CrazyBaldhead]

Funny how he’s doing this since she tucked off to her dads .
defo worried she’s gonna leave . Defo doing it for tattle
Why does she need to post it
my husband brings me flowers every other day after work I’ve got loads but I don’t post it I actually engage in a conversation With him . You know what they say those who show effects on over Instagram do it because they have a shit relationship and have to prove how loved up they are

My husband gives me a good seeing to. Fuck the shit flowers. Flapz needs a cock. They clearly do not have sex.

A big, massive, hard COCK!

 

[ShowMeThe Money]

No:82
#Veiny sweaty wiggy piece of gristle, his 'career' going down like a guided missile#