Jake Quickenden #81 Fakey is a donkey that nobody admired, permanently injured and always oh so tired

[plattyjoobs]

Thread title courtesy of @ChastityDingle, nominated by @Heneghs.

We’ll await @CrazyBaldhead’s usual catch up, in the meantime I’ve popped a poll up for how long we think we’ll make it on the tour before he has a sick day. Carry on Fakeys!

Old thread:https://tattle.life/threads/jake-qu...-to-make-a-living.41438/page-54#post-16695618

 

[Redtea2]

I actually don’t think he will have a sick day
his steodad had to get him a cheap basic VW on finance
he had to return his flash whip because he is that broke
his house is falling apart and needs furniture
his wife can’t afford a hairdresser
he can’t afford the mortgage debts and bills .

i don’t think he will have sick days but be ready for a fun ride because he hates working but he has no option so it’s going to be hilarious

 

[PrincessJeanie]

Love the poll @plattyjoobs especially the last option We all know that’s never going to happen

 

[ChastityDingle]

OMG, my first ever thread title.
Thanks @Heneghs for the nomination, thanks @plattyjoobs for the new thread - and last but not least, thanks Val Doonican for your song!

 

[Redtea2]

Oh dear poor jake
five years running off limits ain’t invited him to NTA
last year Sophie got tickets with fake bake and off limit manager was fuming !!
they clearly know he’s manic and a freak

 

[plattyjoobs]

Oh dear poor jake
five years running off limits ain’t invited him to NTA
last year Sophie got tickets with fake bake and off limit manager was fuming !!
they clearly know he’s manic and a freak

 

[Turtledove58]

1st page! There is so much to cover but this morning on tv he short himself down spectacularly! I see his chiffon blouse is back on Lorraine tomorrow-maybe Davina can give him tips about

 

[Intothedark]

I cringe so hard watching his videos. He’s such an embarrassment.

 

[Robin71]

He’s on Lorraine tomorrow interviewing Davina McCall about her new programme as we know it was filmed ages ago and I’m pretty sure after today he won’t get anything else unless itv want to lose their viewers they must see how hated he is

 

[trine]

1. Sore thumb from scrolling on his phone.
2. Get that kids hair cut ffs, scruff!
3. Speaks to his kid same way as he speaks to his cat.
4. Show the kid how to use cutlery rather than film him cos he looked like he had no clue what “use your fork” even means.
5. Imagine leaving your wife to empty your festering water tub while you prop your phone in a patch of grass to film yourself running past. Not once but twice, second time with the usual sound effects “oof off”

 

[PrincessJeanie]

1st page! There is so much to cover but this morning on tv he short himself down spectacularly! I see his chiffon blouse is back on Lorraine tomorrow-maybe Davina can give him tips about

So that’s what he’s was doing with Davina a while back then. Two attention seeking loud mouths together. Bet while he was with her he was begging her to try and get him on the TV version of Masked Singer Back to sharing any 5 min TV appearance he gets on his stories. Funny how he gets these little snippets for Lorraine but never gets invited by the show to any award ceremonies. Wonder why

 

[JBnosey]

1. Sore thumb from scrolling on his phone.
2. Get that kids hair cut ffs, scruff!
3. Speaks to his kid same way as he speaks to his cat.
4. Show the kid how to use cutlery rather than film him cos he looked like he had no clue what “use your fork” even means.
5. Imagine leaving your wife to empty your festering water tub while you prop your phone in a patch of grass to film yourself running past. Not once but twice, second time with the usual sound effects “oof off”

Sounded like Leo was saying u help me and that idiot just shouts at him to use his fork

 

[Joon]

W.....

 

[Barbie2020]

I’m pretty sure when that davina thing happened he said he was working WITH her on something. It basically alluded to the fact he was actually on a tv programme with her. Instead he’s just done a 2 minute interview with her for Lorraine. What a cringe sad man that he calls himself a presenter.

 

[JazzFan]

Well colour me surprised he’s in his beige trousers with Davina can we have a whip round for another pair of trousers for him?

 

[mollyann]

Really spending time with Leo filming himself running what a sad fucker he is.Leo did say help and he just ignored me.To everyone a child which is your own is beautiful but of course he has to say it aloud.Flaps getting aggressive like her prick of a husband Don’t worry flaps we all know you are void of any personality now run along

 

[Redtea2]

1st page! There is so much to cover but this morning on tv he short himself down spectacularly! I see his chiffon blouse is back on Lorraine tomorrow-maybe Davina can give him tips about

This was recorded months ago if you remember only being shown now then
---

I’m pretty sure when that davina thing happened he said he was working WITH her on something. It basically alluded to the fact he was actually on a tv programme with her. Instead he’s just done a 2 minute interview with her for Lorraine. What a cringe sad man that he calls himself a presenter.

This is why he never gets asked back it’s always something bigger but a lie .
he wasn’t working with her and doing a two minute interview isn’t working .
he just does not get it does he

 

[Joon]

All pals together......

 

[OnlyJustSaying]

1st page! There is so much to cover but this morning on tv he short himself down spectacularly! I see his chiffon blouse is back on Lorraine tomorrow-maybe Davina can give him tips about

We now know the Davina connection from a few weeks back. At least he isn’t going to be on her show which is what I feared. Another 2 bit pre record for the Lorraine show.

 

[gagzi]

The putting the phone in the grass so he can run on by ..what an absolute grade A idiot!