Jake Quickenden #81 Fakey is a donkey that nobody admired, permanently injured and always oh so tired

[Philimena cunk]

He has no fat on his face at all now so his veins stick out, as do his teeth. If I didn't know better I would say he is trying to make himself ill

Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest.
My fitness addiction/depression makes me train/ fitness deal.
Anything to get on the telly/make money.

 

[ChastityDingle]

I have an image of all the nans in the audience, knitting needles busy, making more little sleeveless jumpers for him. Competing for wilder and wilder patterns as they go along.

 

[Philimena cunk]

I have an image of all the nans in the audience, knitting needles busy, making more little sleeveless jumpers for him. Competing for wilder and wilder patterns as they go along.

I knew I'd seen that outfit before.....

 

[Vanilla Ice]

Ode for the Prickenden’s

Fakey is stinking of lager and piss
Surely that’s something his wife won’t miss
Flappy’’s to busy sending her tit back
And her husband is just a total ball sack
Time with Nik Nak would be better spent
Doesn’t she realise her husband is bent
Money is tight so she sells on vinted
He spends freely so they will never be minted
Every day starts him in his piss tub
Grief thieving/preaching whilst having a rub
Crappy jobs earning just a few pennies
His main audiences are people with tennes
Strangers having photos who is this mug
Ladies look closer and see his naff rug
Haircut looming oh what a joke
Obviously I’d rather have me some coke
Off on Sunday to see flaps and the kids
Hoping she’s sold to give me some quids
Everyone clapping and going quite silly
Maybe it’s because of my little short willy
I’m famous now don’t you know
So cheers everyone I must go

 

[stargirl23]

Ode for the Prickenden’s

Fakey is stinking of lager and piss
Surely that’s something his wife won’t miss
Flappy’’s to busy sending her tit back
And her husband is just a total ball sack
Time with Nik Nak would be better spent
Doesn’t she realise her husband is bent
Money is tight so she sells on vinted
He spends freely so they will never be minted
Every day starts him in his piss tub
Grief thieving/preaching whilst having a rub
Crappy jobs earning just a few pennies
His main audiences are people with tennes
Strangers having photos who is this mug
Ladies look closer and see his naff rug
Haircut looming oh what a joke
Obviously I’d rather have me some coke
Off on Sunday to see flaps and the kids
Hoping she’s sold to give me some quids
Everyone clapping and going quite silly
Maybe it’s because of my little short willy
I’m famous now don’t you know
So cheers everyone I must go

Absolutely howling

 

[Vanilla Ice]

Absolutely howling

Thanks not done one for a while thought I would give you all a little treat for the weekend

 

[stargirl23]

Thanks not done one for a while thought I would give you all a little treat for the weekend

Your poems make my day whenever I read

 

[gagzi]

The first pic filtered to duck..look how he's looking at the camera when he sees the fake him. Looks like he'd eat himself the weird bleep. Next pics reality..yes Fakey Jakey that is what you really look like. Gross!

 

[OnlyJustSaying]

The same lady who Fakey shared on his story has said this about Danny. Difference is Danny hasn’t felt the need to share it on his Instagram

Great that she mentioned Dan is the main man on the show. Are we sure it isn’t Fakey, the way he carries on! Saddo!

 

[OhFFS]

I have an image of all the nans in the audience, knitting needles busy, making more little sleeveless jumpers for him. Competing for wilder and wilder patterns as they go along.

With matching cock cosy because 'bless him, it's obviously cold'.

 

[intheindustry]

I’m going to email the lash serum company and air my grievance about the fact she’s had a lash lift while trying to advertise the serum as it really is false advertising. You can’t get a true outcome of its effectiveness.

 

[bargainhunt99]

He has no fat on his face at all now so his veins stick out, as do his teeth. If I didn't know better I would say he is trying to make himself ill

Wonder if he's got bulimia or anorexia?

 

[JazzFan]

Howling at the poem 10/10
---

Wonder if he's got bulimia or anorexia?

He will when he’s read here

 

[DeniseRoyle]

How will he cope with 2 shows & then driving home? He'll be moaning about how knackered he is tomorrow but he's got to see the family

 

[Joon]

Ode for the Prickenden’s

Fakey is stinking of lager and piss
Surely that’s something his wife won’t miss
Flappy’’s to busy sending her tit back
And her husband is just a total ball sack
Time with Nik Nak would be better spent
Doesn’t she realise her husband is bent
Money is tight so she sells on vinted
He spends freely so they will never be minted
Every day starts him in his piss tub
Grief thieving/preaching whilst having a rub
Crappy jobs earning just a few pennies
His main audiences are people with tennes
Strangers having photos who is this mug
Ladies look closer and see his naff rug
Haircut looming oh what a joke
Obviously I’d rather have me some coke
Off on Sunday to see flaps and the kids
Hoping she’s sold to give me some quids
Everyone clapping and going quite silly
Maybe it’s because of my little short willy
I’m famous now don’t you know
So cheers everyone I must go

I'm done in mentally with this lol ...

 

[Cady1954]

I'm waiting for him to post about Ben Cull. Him being an ambassador and all that .

 

[PrincessJeanie]

How will he cope with 2 shows & then driving home? He'll be moaning about how knackered he is tomorrow but he's got to see the family

He needs his spud/family Insta content. He’ll post a photo and say how he misses them and he’s doing it all for them
---

I'm waiting for him to post about Ben Cull. Him being an ambassador and all that .

He will now after reading on here
---

Wonder if he's got bulimia or anorexia?

I doubt it but I think that’s an angle he might be looking at playing on. For the amount he trains, he eats more than a tin of tuna for lunch or toast and fruit for breakfast. If he didn’t he wouldn’t be able to physically do what he does.

 

[plonkington]

The first pic filtered to duck..look how he's looking at the camera when he sees the fake him. Looks like he'd eat himself the weird bleep. Next pics reality..yes Fakey Jakey that is what you really look like. Gross!

He looks like he’d peck your face off with that honker!

 

[Joon]

I keep reading that poem I can't help it, it's brilliant, to the fact all my eyeliner and mascara has literally gone ....
---
Whilst in his tub having a rub .lol ..

 

[JazzFan]

How will he cope with 2 shows & then driving home? He'll be moaning about how knackered he is tomorrow but he's got to see the family

His gratitude will carry him home