Jack Monroe #93 I can’t believe she’s no butter

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I'm still reeling at the idea she has been part of some National Food Stratwgy for the past two years.

What food strategy and where?

Of course she "can't talk about it".

Yeah luv, cos this is a lie isn't it?
I have never heard of anyone who has been part of a committee or advisory board who has not been able to talk about it. It's such nonsense. These are not secret organisations/bodies. They want people to talk about their work.

Or is the national food strategy she's working on part of some kind of owl-worshipping camp in the woods?

 
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I know the Govt can't bail out everyone. Must be hard when you've wasted all those billions on your mate's track and trace systems which don't work properly. Amazingly Ireland set theirs up for well under the cost of ours.

Perhaps if Boris and chums hadn't wasted they money they did then there would ever more in the pot for children.

I'm lucky, we only have one child ...admittedly he's a teenager who seems able to empty a fridge rapidly lol but it's only three of us here. Even living on full UC we cope and wouldn't need any additional, Govt support in the holidays. I do however worry about people with two or more children who may be struggling.
 
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Just to highlight how absurd adult baby Jack is, a few weeks ago we were on spin class instructor Jack (ft. someone else’s teeth - whose are they?!)

C44CA79A-72D8-45B3-8D51-F0BCA5FB8333.jpeg
 
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A friend has shared one of her tweets on FB. I’m sitting on my hands. Maybe I should just shout TATTLE! COTSWOLD SIDEBOARDS! GRIFTER! into the void.
 
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Just thinking back to when I used food banks. The food options are bleak, hence why JM did well with her books 🤢 but its sometimes the only way people will get fed.

Thinking of the bigger picture at that time locally, we had the childrens centre providing loads of support. Cooking classes, play groups, a session that was storytelling for the kids and a light lunch for everyone - and everyone went home with at least 2 full bags of donated food via ocado. It was amazing, it had cupboard essentials but also fresh stuff too like dairy and meat. One time, we had a whole salmon, we had joints of meat, bread. It was amazing. It meant we had enough to feed us for a good period of time.

Now childrens centres have had their funding ransacked and they are barely running any sessions, they cant provide the same level of support. There is a lot to be said about early intervention. Thats how these governments duck up. Put the support in early ffs.

Anyway. Just thinking out load.
 
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Just to highlight how absurd adult baby Jack is, a few weeks ago we were on spin class instructor Jack (ft. someone else’s teeth - whose are they?!)

View attachment 283924
By saying "I don't look like this now" is she implying she looks good in that photo? 'Cause I would say different. However, she didn't even look like that when the photo was taken. It's photoshopped to buggery.

ETA the teeth are Red Rum's
 
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I know the Govt can't bail out everyone. Must be hard when you've wasted all those billions on your mate's track and trace systems which don't work properly. Amazingly Ireland set theirs up for well under the cost of ours.

Perhaps if Boris and chums hadn't wasted they money they did then there would ever more in the pot for children.

I'm lucky, we only have one child ...admittedly he's a teenager who seems able to empty a fridge rapidly lol but it's only three of us here. Even living on full UC we cope and wouldn't need any additional, Govt support in the holidays. I do however worry about people with two or more children who may be struggling.
Especially now with all these job losses, all these redundancies. Trying to find work now is insane. There are hundreds of applications for just 1 role. Its a scary time for so many people. My local MP voted against the school meals, and against extra covid support. Scumbag.
 
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She claims she had 2 sleeve tattoos when she first entered the public eye. Yet all of the pics of her and her SB show her with only 1 sleeve? So it was the poverty cosplay that paid for the 2nd sleeve then!
she found the other sleeve in a puddle
 
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I'd be interested to see how many followers she loses over this, not helping at grassroots just to stiff the tories? Bloody ridiculous
 
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Congratulations to @Scotty1976 for your very first thread title! 83 reactions 🎉 Your prize? MancBee’s going to send you a flask of leftover soup.

Recap of thread #92

  1. Jack, jack, your pappa al pomodoro recipe is my favourite soup. Will leaving out the vinegar make a huge difference? ‘Nah.’ #sowise
  2. For the recipe, she confesses that she cuts her cherry tomatoes into ‘eight apiece’. Ain’t nobody got time for that (apart from @Cookiecookie haha.
  3. Brave @MancBee was the second member of the cabal to venture into Jack‘s maverick domain and make a soup recipe. He also lived to tell the tale but perhaps is in need of some mouthwash. Crowdfund? photo
  4. She felt ‘grubby’ for making her soft soft creamy scrambled eggs with maverick mayooooo. She can’t afford no butter right now, guv. It’s fine, she’s ‘coping’.
  5. She chatted for a while about scrambled eggs, meanwhile the person who had sent her the £20 wanted to know if she had received it ok.
  6. She got shown up on Twitter for the above and paid it back (not that it’s ANY of our business).
  7. Jack Monroe diversionary tactic: let’s talk about crisps, white chocolate mice, hummus, sugar mice, favourite sweets that aren’t chocolate, pontefract cakes, sweets, bab-y.
  8. Southend’s present-day Nostradamus strikes again. She predicted the rise of right-wing populism six years ago and all the Oxbridge poshos laughed at her during a dinner that she ‘bleeping hosted’. She was a literal riddle to them, for she did not go to university, yet was ‘forensically into global politics at the time’. Who’s laughing now? Jack, that’s who. She’s ‘pretty famously a left-wing nonbinary liberal lesbian’.
  9. Another noodle abomination and more eggs ‘happened’.
  10. Her and Marcus Rashford are ‘working together’ but she ‘can’t say more than that at the moment’.
  11. @BlendedSlop gave us A day in the life of Jack.
  12. She double-dipped the photoshop and Facetune again. That naughty sentient mirror is trolling her, and I don’t know who THIS small boy is. Thank you @Silver Linings for all of the screenshots, you tireless researcher.
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.

For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.

*** JACKISMS ***

Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘My maverick brain’

‘My sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’
🥴
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.

Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now duck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.

*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*

Also:
  • She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
  • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
  • Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
  • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
  • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
  • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
  • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
  • The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.

Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
Congratulations to @Scotty1976 for your very first thread title! 83 reactions 🎉 Your prize? MancBee’s going to send you a flask of leftover soup.

Recap of thread #92

  1. Jack, jack, your pappa al pomodoro recipe is my favourite soup. Will leaving out the vinegar make a huge difference? ‘Nah.’ #sowise
  2. For the recipe, she confesses that she cuts her cherry tomatoes into ‘eight apiece’. Ain’t nobody got time for that (apart from @Cookiecookie haha.
  3. Brave @MancBee was the second member of the cabal to venture into Jack‘s maverick domain and make a soup recipe. He also lived to tell the tale but perhaps is in need of some mouthwash. Crowdfund? photo
  4. She felt ‘grubby’ for making her soft soft creamy scrambled eggs with maverick mayooooo. She can’t afford no butter right now, guv. It’s fine, she’s ‘coping’.
  5. She chatted for a while about scrambled eggs, meanwhile the person who had sent her the £20 wanted to know if she had received it ok.
  6. She got shown up on Twitter for the above and paid it back (not that it’s ANY of our business).
  7. Jack Monroe diversionary tactic: let’s talk about crisps, white chocolate mice, hummus, sugar mice, favourite sweets that aren’t chocolate, pontefract cakes, sweets, bab-y.
  8. Southend’s present-day Nostradamus strikes again. She predicted the rise of right-wing populism six years ago and all the Oxbridge poshos laughed at her during a dinner that she ‘bleeping hosted’. She was a literal riddle to them, for she did not go to university, yet was ‘forensically into global politics at the time’. Who’s laughing now? Jack, that’s who. She’s ‘pretty famously a left-wing nonbinary liberal lesbian’.
  9. Another noodle abomination and more eggs ‘happened’.
  10. Her and Marcus Rashford are ‘working together’ but she ‘can’t say more than that at the moment’.
  11. @BlendedSlop gave us A day in the life of Jack.
  12. She double-dipped the photoshop and Facetune again. That naughty sentient mirror is trolling her, and I don’t know who THIS small boy is. Thank you @Silver Linings for all of the screenshots, you tireless researcher.
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.

For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.

*** JACKISMS ***

Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘My maverick brain’

‘My sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’
🥴
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.

Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now duck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.

*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*

Also:
  • She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
  • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
  • Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
  • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
  • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
  • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
  • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
  • The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.

Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
Thanks so much for voting for my thread title🤗.I must check our 1 fridge for butter for my bread to dunk in my soup.😊
 
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I'd be interested to see how many followers she loses over this, not helping at grassroots just to stiff the tories? Bloody ridiculous
Helping at grassroots is what she has always (pretended) to be about. She has banged on about foodbank charities for her whole poverty cosplayer career. But now when it suits her, charities shouldn't be supported, it's the government's job.
 
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By saying "I don't look like this now" is she implying she looks good in that photo? 'Cause I would say different. However, she didn't even look like that when the photo was taken. It's photoshopped to buggery.

ETA the teeth are Red Rum's
Yes, she absolutely thinks she looks smokin in that photo. If she was vegan chocolate she'd lick herself.
 
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Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.