Jack Monroe #93 I can’t believe she’s no butter

[MancBee]

How hard can it be to write up these simple recipes? What takes her so long?

I know it is bad manners to quote yourself, but who said I have good manners?

I have realised why it takes her so long to write these recipes. She has to think of the overwrought florid self-centered soliloquies. Droning on about her life and her thoughts and her feelings and her woes and her troubles. Describing at length each of the ingredients, the colour, the smell, the texture (ooops shoulda left that one out).

Jack, nobody cares. Just tell them how to make the stuff.

 

[Upthisweek]

That tweet to Krishnan Guru Murphy is Jack all over! Arse licking to her celeb 'mates'.

Krish mate!
Nige Mum!

Get some real friends Jack, one's who are there for you when you're down, one's who give you a lift to the supermarket.. Or does Krish mate do that for you too?!

 

[Cookiecookie]

what is this pose what is she doing?

Such an insta model pose.

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

That tweet to Krishnan Guru Murphy is Jack all over! Arse licking to her celeb 'mates'.

Krish mate!
Nige Mum!

Get some real friends Jack, one's who are there for you when you're down, one's who give you a lift to the supermarket.. Or does Krish mate do that for you too?!

“Nige”
Too short

 

[Scotty1976]

for your cheap white bread?

Yes, Absolutely .Too short !

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

what is this pose what is she doing?

I am a bit disappointed in this pic to be honest. If she was going full on spin instructor in this pose I would expect some sweaty betty or lululemon. Not Nikepro.

Although I am not sure weightlifters like spinning. They prefer the stairmaster for their short cardio hits.

 

[MancBee]

I am a bit disappointed in this pic to be honest. If she was going full on spin instructor in this pose I would expect some sweaty betty or lululemon. Not Nikepro.

Although I am not sure weightlifters like spinning. They prefer the stairmaster for their short cardio hits.

Are you speaking a different language? There are at least half a dozen words in there that I have never heard of.

 

[MarthaFarkus]

The difference* between Marcus and Jack is that Jack talks about poverty campaigning whereas Marcus actually IS poverty campaigning.



*Ok, there’s lots of differences. Marcus not being a massive thieving bellend for starters.

 

[acca00]

Someone tweeted her asking if she ever ages?! And here's the raw, non-edited reality:

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

I have so many notes on the last week. Really so many.

But the one that's really getting me is 'body building'. Jack - body building is the extremely lean, muscular, orange posing people, weightlifting is what they do at the Olympics, power lifting is the 'big three' lifts (squat, deadlift, bench press). I suspect you would like to claim to be a powerlifter so could you at least just, occasionally, bleeping try to be accurate.

Also, my husband is very posh (triangulate me, witches) so I have been to dinner parties with very posh people. Whilst not necessarily my favourite thing, I have never been treated as an exhibit at a human zoo. Potentially this was because I didn't attend in character as a Victorian urchin... Or alternatively it's because a lot of posh people are just quite normal but with more money and are perfectly aware that not everyone goes to university and/or private school.

As ever, what a bleeping melt.

 

[Scarletfever]

Argh I have already missed so much, but she has boiled my bleeping piss this morning inciting the pile on on her mate Krish.

I agree with her point in principle, but you have to get over yourself when people are hungry TODAY. I remember my kids collecting for the local food bank at school and being angry that it was being normalised, but I still sent in donations.

Also, she did a crowdfunder for the Trussell Trust earlier in the year (and good for her as she raised a tit ton for people in need) so she's also a bleeping hyprocrite.

HELP FOODBANKS FEED PEOPLE DURING CORONAVIRUS, organized by JACK MONROE

WE ARE IN THE MIDST OF A GLOBAL PANDEMIC. SUPERMARKET SHELVES ARE EMPTY. BUS… JACK MONROE needs your support for HELP FOODBANKS FEED PEOPLE DURING CORONAVIRUS

uk.gofundme.com

So it was fine to donate to foodbanks when it was resulting in clout for Jack, but not now. Gotcha.

I can't let go of #trolleygate either. It wouldn't surprise me if she gave the money back to squiggle saying "evil trolls are bullying me over this, please don't tweet about your donations to me again"

 

[Ruthselina67]

To my fellow Frauen- I have to take a step back from these threads because she’s doing my head in.

I know I’m not the most prolific poster on here and don’t contribute a huge amount but I do read song and wanted to thank you for your wonderful company. But it would be better for me if I don’t follow any more (at least until the next batch of insomnia comes along)

I'm a newbie here, but last night I had a dream where JM had used my bank account to buy that Vivienne Westwood dress!

 

[Spanner]

This is by-the-by, but I went to M&S yesterday & bought some butter and then when I got home I found I already HAD an unused butter in the fridge and now I feel so bloody fancy! I knew my Frauhen would understand

 

[Harrybosch]

Is 'an unused butter' related to 'a chaos'?

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

I have so many notes on the last week. Really so many.

But the one that's really getting me is 'body building'. Jack - body building is the extremely lean, muscular, orange posing people, weightlifting is what they do at the Olympics, power lifting is the 'big three' lifts (squat, deadlift, bench press). I suspect you would like to claim to be a powerlifter so could you at least just, occasionally, bleeping try to be accurate.

Also, my husband is very posh (triangulate me, witches) so I have been to dinner parties with very posh people. Whilst not necessarily my favourite thing, I have never been treated as an exhibit at a human zoo. Potentially this was because I didn't attend in character as a Victorian urchin... Or alternatively it's because a lot of posh people are just quite normal but with more money and are perfectly aware that not everyone goes to university and/or private school.

As ever, what a bleeping melt.

definitely agree with you. I have literally never in my entire life since I left school been asked what uni I went to or if I went to uni at all. Because nobody gives a duck I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone if they went to uni either because why would I, going to university is not a personality trait. She’s a proper daft bint.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

If Jack's secret new work with Rashford is a holding midfielder or a false number 9 I'll be bleeping raging.
I'll want Solskjær sacked immediately.

 

[LavaFlake]

definitely agree with you. I have literally never in my entire life since I left school been asked what uni I went to or if I went to uni at all. Because nobody gives a duck I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone if they went to uni either because why would I, going to university is not a personality trait. She’s a proper daft bint.

She's just being weighed down by the giant chip on her shoulder that was created by bleeping up ber grammer school education.

 

[colouredlines]

You know what, I did know some absolute bellends from Oxbridge back in the day. One of my mates broke up with his Oxbridge boyfriend because his friends were such vile snobs.

But...we were all about 20 or 21 at the time, still in university ourselves. People grow out of that. In fact, my friend's ex sent him a very nice apologetic message a while back.

If I met someone in their 30s or above who was still banging on about where they went to university, I'd be laughing AT them, not fizzing with impotent rage.

 

[DaisyJay]

Minor off topic... can I say a hearty Danke schön to the Frau who posted the 1/2 hour scrambled egg recipe on the last thread (transposed onto note paper with very nice handwriting)... I made it this morning... it was delicious and rich and I'm a very happy Frau .. Now, duck off

 

[Captainmouse]

I am a bit disappointed in this pic to be honest. If she was going full on spin instructor in this pose I would expect some sweaty betty or lululemon. Not Nikepro.

Although I am not sure weightlifters like spinning. They prefer the stairmaster for their short cardio hits.

Has the stair master replaced the water rower? Was that also a gift, or did the muddy puddle provide?