Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

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I wish he hadn’t used the word « mulatta » to describe Meghan Markle; it’s a horrible word to use.
But the rest of it seems if anything generous to Jack, like he’s only just beginning to see the grift, the slop, the lies and the charity fraud.
 
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I found that in a puddle charity shop a few years ago. Nothing ground breaking, but some nice recipes that have broad appeal. Although - and this may shock the Matt fans - there is a recipe for a flavoured rice dish which involves a cup a soup mix! I know Jack has done this, trying to claim originality, but this book did it before her
 
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I feel like pre WARNED Jack would have been in the 'blue ticks changing their name to Elon Musk and mocking him with tweets before quickly reverting their names like cowards' club.
 
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Realistically if twitter went tits up I think it would have a positive effect on society. No more would ‘journalists’ be taking things off there and basing their news as actual reality.
 
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Oh mercy, Jack's autobiography is coming out next year?

A Girl Called Slop: Chapter 1
I grew up in a shoe box in Southend, my family an exotic blend of Cypriot, Scots, Norn Irish, and Pitsea. Lest you think that sounds a bit white, I remind you that one of the waifs we graciously gave an extra bit of room at the table for 15 years is Black. This absolves me of all racial insensitivity forever. My grandfather was a penniless immigrant who came to the UK with nothing but the clothes on his back and a lunchbox full of homemade dolmades. He remained penniless until his untimely death at the age of 75. My mother was also a poor immigrant, and my dad was a firefighter. I've seen a lot of fucking fires.
 
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He's not showing any Twitter activity since August. I think he's BUSY.
He's back filming in the Caribbean, I think he's done a couple of instas but a bit busy with actual work to fanny about on the hellsite. Won't he have a lovely catch up when he gets home!
 
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Maybe she’s nipped in to see her friends in the ICU.
She’s serenading them with a quivery version of Shakespear Sister’s Stay as we speak. One of the other patients woke up just so they could unplug themselves.
 
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You remembered Pitsea
 
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Chapter Two

When I was eleven I started at a girls grammar school, which daddy drove me to in his pink Mercedes Range Rover discovery, white van, fire engine. I was of course cleverer that 99.364 and three twelfths of Essex, and not like other girls, so had no chums except Rachel from Friends who I chained myself to for cold hard cash charity until she escaped. All my teachers hated me, said they’d take me down a peg or two, and that I’d amount to nothing and Borbora said I might be able to flip burgers if I kept my legs together (Which is actually slander, considering my labial disabilities. WARNED) Then one of them stalked me until I moved house 34 times.

Anyway, despite being utterly brilliant and starring in all the school plays while being cripplingly reclusive, I only managed four point 1.8 and a half o’levels and was expelled because everyone was jealous of me.

TBC
 
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Coming from the past, so we may have moved on, but I was disturbed by this too.

So he had an aversion to using cutlery which winds Leggy up...but what struck me is that he tried to use cutlery when they went out (so either doesn't have an aversion or was conscious of it and making an effort!) Then they all laugh at him because you're not supposed to eat THIS with cutlery!

Horrible.
 
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Yeah, I wonder too.....what exactly about spending a whole weekend with just Jack for company and then her going solo to Scotland, where she was going to wear a bedsheet to an award ceremony, got her dumped?

W.F.K
when she remembered she’s supposed to have arthritis in her shoulder on the train home. Having been to Netherlands, Scotland then is in UNBEARABLE PAIN pulling into Euston and asking ppl for a sling or shoulder brace ffs

"Twitters main character" fuck off Jack The ego on her!
I think she lives in The Medium Place
 
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There was two more slops after my earlier post:

@overdueanadventure's Cuban-inspired Beef, Red & Black Bean Stew - Link
@People-huv-tae-know's Blushing Berry Banana Bread - Link
 
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Luckily I'm a seasoned Frau and know not to drink tea whilst reading this thread otherwise 'labial disabilities' would have had Coles' English Breakfast all over my freshly-laundered tablecloth. Je suis mort.
 
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But apparently she’s never added up her shopping as she’s gone round which must be peak ‘god I’m bloody skint’ territory.
Or done the 'supermarket walk of shame' where you have to return items you can't afford.

Completely agree. Of all JM's tales, this is the one I really hope is a lie. Imagine posting that depressing anecdote with its weirdly proud, irreverent tone and then wondering why someone's called social services.
 
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