Sorry to any Fry’s Five Centre Fraus we have in the cabal but these sound absolutely vile
Jack Monroe #186 The bromelain in canned pineapple is denatured
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jack Monroe Threads Wiki
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
they were delicious.Sorry to any Fry’s Five Centre Fraus we have in the cabal but these sound absolutely vile
At 5:57pm Sweet Shop Jack was so boring I decided to leave and make dinner after jokingly posting about Curly-Wurlys being bigger as a child. At 6:11pm Jack replies to someone saying Curly-Wurlys were bigger as a child. Move over, @Orphan_Black dear heart, I am positively fizzing with psychic energy like a Dip Dab clutched in the meaty paws of a smol pixie.
Mate, you take that oracle crown and let me run off and hide from the scary smol pixie! Blessed be this glorious night!
I'd give the Frys 5 centre ago if they were vegan, they already do 5 vegan fondant bars 
Jack is so boring. I bet she thought sitting on that pink sofa would make her look younger because it has the softy soft glow of a thousand wool suns. Her brick cake must have fallen off the ceiling after she threw it up there for the DIVA awards, that's where her eyes kept darting to during the vid. Then it fell off and hit her on the head and reset her to ye auld sweet shoppe mode. 
'mon Jack you can do better than this.
Also shocked to read that about Tom Kitchin. I met him a few years after the incident and had no idea. He certainly didn't come across as a bully. Restaurant kitchens are incredibly stressful places to work but that is no excuse for his behaviour. Maybe the backlash has helped him to change and become a nicer person.
Jack is so boring. I bet she thought sitting on that pink sofa would make her look younger because it has the softy soft glow of a thousand wool suns. Her brick cake must have fallen off the ceiling after she threw it up there for the DIVA awards, that's where her eyes kept darting to during the vid. Then it fell off and hit her on the head and reset her to ye auld sweet shoppe mode. 'mon Jack you can do better than this.Also shocked to read that about Tom Kitchin. I met him a few years after the incident and had no idea. He certainly didn't come across as a bully. Restaurant kitchens are incredibly stressful places to work but that is no excuse for his behaviour. Maybe the backlash has helped him to change and become a nicer person.
Awww, I've never been involved in a thread title before! And I do need a new door stop, thanks very Matt much, Matt!Congratulations to @Rekyavikgirl for the words and @JuliaGulia for the nomination!Your joint prize: this monstrosity. Rufus Hound bantz optional.
Recap of last thread:
- Fack Monroe wrote a love letter to the inventor of the tin can.
- There was also a recipe for her pineapple chicken, which got all faux scientific. You had me at bromelain.
- She was off for an x-ray and all manner of scans and injections, so called for animals of every species known to man, stat.
- ‘If you know you know’ (which one of her eyes is possessed by the dark lord of Facetune this time), send your answers on a postcard.
- She made several wretched-looking desserts in a recycled Tesco Mediterranean veg selection tray. Why tho.
- She won the Diva magazine ‘Influencer of the Year’ award. And everyone applauded.
- An advertorial for her tasty Del MonteTM recipes appeared in the prestigious online publication Female First.
Please use the words ‘thread title’ (two separate words) when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search. Also, try to hold off to the latter part of the thread if possible (after post #500). And remember - no swears are allowed.
There is a thread in the off topic forum called Food and Drink where off topic chat is encouraged if / when Jack is quiet.
New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.
[*]
Since we've established she never matured past teenage logic, maybe she was only being mean cause she fancies us
(Never understood the end goal of being obnoxious for attention from a love interest like)
Is anyone else confused about where she is saying she got banned from a bus for setting fire to a packet of sweets? Its not easy to spot as she’s tweeted it amongst the riveting nostalgic bollocks...as usual I am left with more questions than answers
(I haven’t posted in a while as I struggle to catch up lately but had to check if anyone else noticed the frosties/fire tweet- lots of love to the cabal, i’m off back to my grunk)
ETA Screenshot of tweet for clarity!
(I haven’t posted in a while as I struggle to catch up lately but had to check if anyone else noticed the frosties/fire tweet- lots of love to the cabal, i’m off back to my grunk)
ETA Screenshot of tweet for clarity!
Attachments
We know the majority of Jack's life experiences happen on public transport.
Whoop de doop we used to set fire to fags and smoke them on the bus home from school
Whoop de doop we used to set fire to fags and smoke them on the bus home from school
I must admit to doing the same with a Highland Toffee bar (10p circa 1983, Jack)Combining Old Skool Black Jack with teeth talk: I once ate a Bruiser bar at school and pulled a molar out with itPerhaps someone could suggest that for her ouchie wisdom tooth? Save all that poking and prodding and didn’t even require a stay in a hotel, win win!
Does this mean she only influences lesbians? That explains so much, I've been following her for a year and still eat food with texture. I'm safe! (Sorry, sapphic Frauen. Thoughts and prayers)
In 1999 the Belfast telegraph was 28p. I used to get 30p to buy it and always treated myself to either 1 bubaloo or 2 golfball chewing gums for the walk home. Wasn't I maverick also apparently some girl in my school had sex with a KitKat chunky. Pretty sure it's made up but still something equally ridiculous for her to read ain't it.
So did a girl in my school! Was this one of those universal rumours that went around every school? Was it always specifically a KitKat Chunky? Why? I suppose they are girthier than normal KitKats...
Mars bar in our school, loooong before KitKat chunkiest were invented
Yeah why did no one choose a Yorkie, are they really just for men?!
Did we go to the same school?
Jack posts so many tweets but her content is beyond tedious, and she has absolutely no sense of humour. It’s a truly deadly combo.
It was Marianne Faithfull who was allegedly caught playing with a Mars Bar. She denied it.
Nah she wasn’t at my school
About Tom Kitchen, on that particular episode he did not come across well but it was edited so maybe the Masterchef Professional chef he was working with caused him more bother than was shown, or maybe Tom was just having a bad day.I'd give the Frys 5 centre ago if they were vegan, they already do 5 vegan fondant bars
Also shocked to read that about Tom Kitchin. I met him a few years after the incident and had no idea. He certainly didn't come across as a bully. Restaurant kitchens are incredibly stressful places to work but that is no excuse for his behaviour. Maybe the backlash has helped him to change and become a nicer person.
I refuse to 'cancel' him based on that. Everything I have seen and heard before made be believe he was a good'un.
- Status