Jack Monroe #152 Gorgonzola semi freddo with dessicated olive and grape

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @blurstoftimes for the thread title! reminding us all that Jack can cook ‘nice stuff’. Your prize: a nice big bowl of the Eye of Sauron salad, with optional ‘dressing’.

Special mention to @HotesTilaire for: This time next year, SB, we’ll be Patreonaires!


Recap of last thread

1. On the twelfth day to deadline, my true love said to me ... stop blaming your ADHD.
2. She’s ‘giving up sweets and trolls for Lent’.
3. She appeared in The Telegraph with yet another rehash of The Story, which details her resignation from the Fire Service. There is also an accompanying podcast.
4. Graeme from Linda Mc made contact with some of the bigger viggles. The outcome was reported as less than satisfactory.
5. She’s well grounded.
6. Her book progress wall is coming along as well as Kevin Spacey’s one in his crappy flat in Seven.
7. Sneak peek.
8. She laughed at her avocado salad. We did and all.
9. She got up at 4.30, made some cinnamon granola and launched into a humble brag about when she was on the red carpet.
10. She appeared in The Telegraph again.
11. Please use the words ‘thread title’ when making a bid for one as it makes it easier to search.
12. New to Jack? Have a look at the wiki.

 

[GothPrincess]

Thanks for the new thread. Last one seemed to move quite fast. Couldn’t keep up!
Amazing how her boy can’t remember the incident at school that led to him being excluded, but can remember starving as a toddler.

 

[Cunderthunt]

Regarding being suspended at age 5. Jonny is only 10. There is no way that he would have forgotten such a major incident as bullying, followed by a physical fight with a much larger child, followed by a talking to from the teachers, followed by suspension.

I think Jack has made the whole thing up and is implanting a false history in her own child.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Apart from Hinch, does Jack Monroe have the most threads on Tattle?

Isn't it incredible that for someone so dull and basic that these threads move so fast.

 

[blurstoftimes]

I'm honoured! And I see you've purposely spelt it wrong to keep it authentically Jack

 

[Pocahontas]

I'm honoured! And I see you've purposely spelt it wrong to keep it authentically Jack

What have I spelt wrong?
haha - desiccated. I am ashamed! I’ll get it changed

 

[blurstoftimes]

What have I spelt wrong?

Desiccated! Keep it! It's what Jack would have wanted

 

[SoulRebel]

Regarding being suspended at age 5. Jonny is only 10. There is no way that he would have forgotten such a major incident as bullying, followed by a physical fight with a much larger child, followed by a talking to from the teachers, followed by suspension.

I think Jack has made the whole thing up and is implanting a false history in her own child.

I love that Jack's only comment is that wasn't how she would have handled it. What, Jack who boasts about decking her brother, kicking someone and throwing a book at someone's head, that pacifist Jack?

 

[Pocahontas]

Desiccated! Keep it! It's what Jack would have wanted

I’ll keep it in honour of Jack - it’s clearly what she would want.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

Regarding being suspended at age 5. Jonny is only 10. There is no way that he would have forgotten such a major incident as bullying, followed by a physical fight with a much larger child, followed by a talking to from the teachers, followed by suspension.

I think Jack has made the whole thing up and is implanting a false history in her own child.

She's gonna be stuffed when he starts looking her up online. I know she's said he's been told not to, but even if he doesn't, other kids are gonna. And he's old enough to remember stuff now! I also sincerely hope she reins in her oversharing weirdness when he hits puberty or that's gonna be embarrassing for everyone involved.

Also to whoever mentioned lockdown mullets in the last thread, yup. I got sick of my long hair after winter and my hormones fucked it up and the second I'd finished cutting it all I could think was 'oh god this is gonna look horrendous growing out'. Also it's way more effort to look after. Looks great now though!

 

[Cunderthunt]

I love that Jack's only comment is that wasn't how she would have handled it. What, Jack who boasts about decking her brother, kicking someone and throwing a book at someone's head, that pacifist Jack?

Also at odds with her parenting column, in which she seems proud of him for allegedly punching another child.

 

[Dustye]

I'm sorry, I lost track of the last thread, but she told the world about her little boy being suspended from school? In what world is that okay to share publicly like that?! I understand speaking to close family/friends about it to maybe get some advice and support, but it's absolutely disgusting to that lovely little lad that she'd share details like that.

How's it going to feel about that story being in public when he's 15, 21? Obviously it's absolute BS which makes it worse that she'd use her child in her attention-grabbing fantasies like that.

This has made me so angry.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

He's just a blank canvas for her to paint her bullshit onto, god help her if he ends up being a surly teenager like basically 90% of kids are at some point.

 

[SoulRebel]

She's gonna be stuffed when he starts looking her up online. I know she's said he's been told not to, but even if he doesn't, other kids are gonna. And he's old enough to remember stuff now! I also sincerely hope she reins in her oversharing weirdness when he hits puberty or that's gonna be embarrassing for everyone involved.

Also to whoever mentioned lockdown mullets in the last thread, yup. I got sick of my long hair after winter and my hormones fucked it up and the second I'd finished cutting it all I could think was 'oh god this is gonna look horrendous growing out'. Also it's way more effort to look after. Looks great now though!

Jack has already said that Johnny reads all her books (he doesn't) but if this new monstrosity of a lie is in the new one she won't be able to erase it.
Jack.

 

[Cunderthunt]

She's gonna be stuffed when he starts looking her up online. I know she's said he's been told not to, but even if he doesn't, other kids are gonna. And he's old enough to remember stuff now! I also sincerely hope she reins in her oversharing weirdness when he hits puberty or that's gonna be embarrassing for everyone involved.

I think by the time he gets to about 12/13, he's going to be very angry with her, and will move in full time with his dad. Her fantasist nature will be starting to become apparent to him.

His dad really needs to have words with Jack and stop her from sharing inappropriate information.

 

[blurstoftimes]

just for fun, here is every reference i can find to this now-infamous dish...

in this one the marie rose ice cream and gorgonzola semifreddo appear to have morphed into one hideous dish

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I know it’s mean to make comments on appearance but hear me out / sorry God: why does this photo look like it’s been AI generated / one of those Historical facial reconstructions? It doesn’t make sense to my eyes, it’s the juxtaposition of the hair that looks like it’s an example of the application of primitive grooming tools from the Stone Age versus the hugely overfilled lips that every one is now getting dissolved? And why have they styled/posed/coloured this like a top gear presenter PR pic?

In summary do the telegraph not have FaceTune? Times must be hard #supportthearts

 

[blurstoftimes]

I think by the time he gets to about 12/13, he's going to be very angry with her, and will move in full time with his dad. Her fantasist nature will be starting to become apparent to him.

His dad really needs to have words with Jack and stop her from sharing inappropriate information.

He sounds like such a a good kid too! She is so mean. Imagine lying about your child being suspended just to make a point about how oppressed you are. Such a stupid ill thought out lie. Her idiocy knows no bounds.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I think by the time he gets to about 12/13, he's going to be very angry with her, and will move in full time with his dad. Her fantasist nature will be starting to become apparent to him.

His dad really needs to have words with Jack and stop her from sharing inappropriate information.

Yeah I hope his dad has words, he sounds a lot more grounded than Jack. I just forget he's equally involved in the kid's care because it isn't convenient to her for people to know, so I guess her narrative-bending has worked there! Well done Jack.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

I'm sorry, I lost track of the last thread, but she told the world about her little boy being suspended from school? In what world is that okay to share publicly like that?! I understand speaking to close family/friends about it to maybe get some advice and support, but it's absolutely disgusting to that lovely little lad that she'd share details like that.

How's it going to feel about that story being in public when he's 15, 21? Obviously it's absolute BS which makes it worse that she'd use her child in her attention-grabbing fantasies like that.

This has made me so angry.

It’s a complete violation