Downing Street Men #10

[coconochanel]

Well well well we have reached 10 threads on the Fab Five aka...

Rishi 'the dishi' Sunak
Dominic 'the bastard' Raab
Matt 'the suffolk shagger' Hancock
Chris 'the wonderful' Whitty
Boris' the bumbler' Johnson

all talk of other MP's is welcome.

so quick recap....

we found out Dominic and Matt were on the 2017 MP sleaze list.
Matt has answered some of our questions we sent in to his IG Q&A
We have become fond of Kier Stermer and Van Tam
No one wants to sleep with Boris and......
We still hate PPG

 

[Hello Kitty]

Just want to say I'm a massive fan of this thread! I knew there would be loads of stuff to read after 5pm haha

 

[coconochanel]

*knock on the door*
'come in'
PA' you wanted to see me Mr Raab'
Dom 'ahh yes I just want to go through what meetings I have this afternoon?'
PA' you have a phone call with the French PM at 3pm, A meeting with China at 4pm and the gym at 4.30pm. Ive also fetched your suits from the dry cleaners and the Prime Ministers PA rang to see if you could fit in a meeting with the some women called the downing st honeys but I said your diary was full so it wasnt possible'
Dom 'you did what? How dare you turn down meeting without consulting me first'
PA 'well your dairy is full and theres no room to fit them in'
Dom 'I'll decide what can and cant be fitted in, you have no right to make final decisions without my authroity'
PA' well I..'
Dom ' I dont want to hear it, get on the phone immediately and get me a meeting with those honeys!'
PA' yes sir'

*meanwhile in Matt's office*
'Ladies wonderful to meet you come on in don't be shy'
jo30 'Im your biggest fan Mr hancock I think your cute'
'ha well thank you very much and I must say Im loving your hair'
jo30 'wow thank you Mr Hancock I had it done especially for today'
standing a bit too close 'well it really suits you it makes your eyes sparkle'
Jo30' oh Mr Hancock I...thi...I' faints and begins to fall to the floor but matt catches her
Gin&tonic 'oh my god is she ok'
Matt 'yes she's fine just a bit over excited, here you hold her while I'll call my PA to bring in a glass water and some caramel waffles. Then when she's recovered you can tell me how I became your 'darling'. by the way which one of you was it that said you wanted to tie me up with my pink tie and have your wicked way with me you little minx's'....

 

[cushtybert]

 

[coconochanel]

PA 'ahh there you are wheres the other two?'
cushtybert 'with Mr Hancock we just popped out to check on Winston my goat'
PA 'oh I see well theres been a change of plan Mr Raab wants to see you next'
coconochanel 'what about Rishi?'
PA' you can see him later Mr Raab insisted you meet him next'
platypussfattypus 'really?!'
PA' yes' knocks on Matts door
'come in'
PA 'Im just taking the ladies to see Mr Raab'
straightening his tie 'yes yes of course, well lovely to see you all its been an absolute pleasure and hope to see you again soon' he says while giving gym&tonic and boredofthegram a cheeky grin.
Boredofthegram 'oh no Mr Hancock its been OUR pleasure'
gym&tonic 'yes see you soon Mr Hancock' she winks as they all leave the office.

*phone rings*
Boris 'Boris Johnson speaking?'
Raab' Boris its dom'
Boris 'hello Dominic what can I do for you?'
Dom ' you've met the downing street honeys havent you?'
Boris 'yes'
Dom 'well what are they like? they're coming to meet me in a few minutes'
Boris 'They are lovely ladies such a hoot'
Dom 'yes but are they...attractive?'
'Boris' ha well put it this way old boy in the word of Van Tam Id tear the pants off any of them'
Dom 'yes but you'd tear the knickers off most women. what are my fans like'
Boris 'Ive told you they are fine filly's, ones got gorgeous red hair looks a bit like that actress
Dom 'what actress ?'
Boris 'er ah you know she was in that well known film'
Dom 'Julia roberts in Pretty woman?'
Boris 'no no no the one on the boat'
Dom 'the one on the boat....titanic kate winslet?'
Boris' Thats the one'
Dom 'really. well Im glad Ive put my honey coloured tie on that will give me some brownie points'
Boris ' Dominic you've read the thread once you lick your lips they will be putty in your hands old boy putty in your hands'
Dom 'or even breasts and buttocks in my hands ha ha'
Boris 'you dirty dog.'
Dom 'Oh I can hear talking I think they are here, speak to you later'
Boris 'yes see you later and good luck'.

 

[cushtybert]

It’s bloody van tam again with his pants talk!!!

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Whitty when he needs to be, authoritative in the bedroom. What’s not to like

I like a man who can be authoritative but still makes you smile

I've just read the story from the beginning again. We are such a group of cock hungry tory lovers. I love it

 

[coconochanel]

Boris 'well its been an absolute pleasure ladies absolute pleasure'
Cushtybert 'would it be possible to meet Chris Whitty'
Boris 'Im not sure about that he's very busy and a very private man is Christopher'
Cushtybert 'Oh please it wouldnt have to be for long just a quick hello and for him to meet Winston'
Boris 'well I'll see what I can do'
Cushtybert 'Thank you Prime Minister'
Boris 'arnt you forgetting something?' he says as they are about to walk out the door 'My hug!'
coconochanel 'Oh yes how did I forget'
the other honeys look at each other and try not to laugh as Boris enfolds coco in a tight hug.
coconochanel pulling away as she feels him getting a semi 'right bye then Prime minister lovely to meet you'
Boris' bye ladies lovely to meet you too and maybe next time we can make it bit more of a private meeting haha'
Gove comes barging in
'Prime Minister theres a goat outside..he sees the honeys 'oh sorry didnt know you were busy, hello' he says to the honeys then spots the writing on their t shirts and his face turns to thunder.
Boris 'Its ok the ladies were just leaving they are going to meet Mr Hancock'
As they leave they can hear Gove having a rant...'What the hell are they doing here? came to meet you. do you know what they call me? PPG pissy pants gove its all over the internet...im not over reacting, Ive never been so humiliated in all my life and here they are having a bloody tour of number 10'...

'Sorry to bother you Mr Whitty but The Prime Minister is on the phone he says the Downing Street Honeys are here and wondered if it would be possible to meet you?'
Whitty 'Well Im not sure Im quite busy and this room is sterile and covid free'
'Sorry Prime Minister what was that? ones got a whip'
Whitty 'Ok Ok I'll meet them but they must be anti bacterial sprayed first and wear PPE'
'the Prime Minister said can Winston the goat come?'
Whitty 'absolutely not! I will see him outside'

 

[Blue raspberry slush pupp]

OH.MY.SWEET.BABY.JESUS
I had a dream about Dominic Raab and you guys. I ended up having sex with him (more than once) and then we fell in love!!

What the fuck is this thread doing to me??!!

 

[InstaLurk]

Matt is making an emergency statement at 5pm, Matty fans

 

[Platypusfattypus]

To celebrate Whitty is singing us a tune

‘We’ or ‘you’

Don't trust me to do it. It would just be about Raabs dick

 

[coconochanel]

*knock on the door*

Boris 'come in'
PA 'the ladies are here Sir'
Boris 'wonderful show them in'
'Ladies come on in come on in, lovely to meet you at last'
'Lovely to meet you too Prime Minister, Im Renegadedancer'
'Im lucyxxx'
'Im Cushtybert'
Boris 'The whitty fan, your the one with the lamb'
cushtybert 'Its a goat and hes called Winston'
Boris' goat ah yes'
'Im jo30 and Im Matts fan I really like Matt I think hes cute'
'Im boreofthegram'
'Im platypusfattypus'
'Im coconochanel'
Boris 'ahh my no1 fan'
coconochanel 'mmm'
'and Im gym&tonic'
Boris 'fantastic so tell me me ladies where did you all meet how did this wonderful fan club come about?'...

meanwhile in Michael Goves office
'Sorry?'
PA' I didnt say anything sir'
'oh I thought you said something'
PA 'no sir' then they hear the noise again
'what was that?'
PA 'I dont know sounds like its coming from outside' she stands and looks out the window
PA' its a goat theres a goat outside!'
'a what!'
PA 'a goat look the security guy is standing there holding his lead'
'what the!'

Down the hall outside Matt Hancocks office PA Sandra walks past his half open door and sees him practicing his smile in the mirror
PA 'Everything alright Sir'
'yes yes everything is fine thank you Sandra. The hone.. ladies are coming at 2pm so you will have to put my meeting with Mr Valance back to 3pm'
PA' yes sir'
'Also could you see if there's any air freshener lying about and give this room a spray it smells like stale coffee and caramel waffles'
PA' Yes Mr Hancock'.

Rishi on the phone 'yes Prime Minister I cant see that being a problem send them up when they are ready'
'Karen Ive got a group of ladies coming for a quick meet and greet could you arrange some refreshments'
PA 'Yes Mr Sunak no problem'
'Wonderful and can you bring that Fortnum and Masons tin of biscuits as well please'
PA 'yes Mr Sunak'.

to be continued....

 

[coconochanel]

Now Dom we know you read here and we are very happy you are wearing a honey coloured tie but in order to knock Matt 'the sulfolk shagger' off the no1 spot here are some pointers....

DONT smile EVER
give us that brooding look-we like that A LOT
lick your finger more- we LOVE that
Just wear suits or be naked and NEVER wear those naff dad outfits.
Get Bojo to let you do a briefing in French.

Thank you.

 

[coconochanel]

'Hey wait for me' platypusfattypus shouts to the others as they head to Rishi's office
Renegaderancer 'ahh shes back, so how was it?'
platypusfattypus 'I'll tell you later' she says as a member of staff walks past
coconochanel 'oh come on don't be a spoilsport'
gym&tonic 'yeah come on how big was it?'
Jo30 'I bet its not as big as Matts'
Renegadedancer 'how would you know you've not seen Matts'
Bordofthegram 'she hasnt but I have'
coconochanel 'well...'
platypusfattypus 'lets just say its no chipolata'
'yes but has it got girth?' renegadedancer says as Rishi opens his office door

*back in Whitty's red room*
'Sadly I think Im going to have to free you from my red room and let you go and find the others'
cushtybert 'yes I better go back soon or they might start to worry'
'can I see you again someday?'
cushtybert 'yes of course you can'
'really?'
cushtybert 'yes, I will leave you my number'
'Thank you. when your dressed I will walk you back to no10'
cushtybert ' thank you I would like that very much' she says as he starts to untie her.

 

[Renegadedancer]

I keep checking up to see if the next chapter is up

And then each Honey had a bitch fight to make sure she got her claws in the man she wanted. They all popped on a mask, dived in the hot tub and had group sex. Their real life husbands found out, but they didn’t mind as they were contributing to the Theresa May thread. THE END.

 

[Platypusfattypus]

You are bloody rampant aren’t you

I am at the moment. I've been watching too much politics

Macron on speaker phone, raab behind me, tie in my mouth so I don't interrupt their call. Sounds a good place to be

 

[cushtybert]

He’s blowing me a kiss here, anyone know where the building is by him?! I gather that’s his office, just want to know for future stalking reasons

 

[coconochanel]

cushtybert 'what makes you think he's having an affair?'
'well a couple of things really'
coconochanel 'like what?'
'well last Monday morning he came downstairs ready for work and he was wearing a green tie'
Jo30 'Green?!'
'yes so I asked him where his pink one was and he said he fancied a change'
platypusfattypus 'maybe he did'
'well maybe but then he didn't wear it all week and you know how much he loves his pink ties'
renegadedancer 'hmm that doe sound a bit off.. anything else?'
'yes yesterday we were in Sainburys doing our weekly shop and I picked up his Caramel waffles and he said he didn't want them, said he'd gone off them'
cushtybert 'wow that is odd Matt turning down caramel waffles!?'
coconochanel 'yeah he's waffle mad. has he showed any other signs he might be cheating?'
jo30 'yeah like going to the gym thats always a sign'
coconochanel 'yes and being sneaky with his phone...has he done any of that?'
'No'
renegadedancer 'maybe hes having a midlife crisis'
'no I dont think its that'
coconochanel 'well keep an eye on him and see if theres any other signs'
Jo30 'who do you think hes having an affair with?'
cushtybert 'not sandra his PA?'
'well I dont know I mean Im not certain he IS having an affair its just a feeling Ive got'
platypusfattypus 'you need to follow him see what hes upto'
renegadedancer 'how she going to do that when hes in his office all day?'
platypusfattypus 'well how do we know he is in his office all day?.... maybe coco can ask Rishi to keep tabs on him'
coconochanel 'no way! Im not getting involved'
renegadedancer 'no don't it will only blow up in your face if it turns out he is having it off with someone'
cushtybert 'sorry to break up the party but Ive Im afraid Ive got to go'
renegadedancer 'where you going?'
cushtybert 'Oh Ive got an appointment with my accountant'
renegadedancer 'oh ok see ya later'
cushtybert 'see ya' she says walking off down the road.
Jo30 ' I didnt know cushty had an accountant'
gym&tonic 'she doesn't'
coconochanel 'how do you know?'
gym&tonic 'because the other month she asked if she could use Matt's'
jo30 'so where she gone then?'
gym&tonic 'I've no idea'

 

[Gym&Tonic]

I want Matt to come and live with me when all of this over!

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Ah look at this pair