Downing Street Men #10

[coconochanel]

*Kier Stermer storms into Boris office*

'Prime Minister can I have a word?'
Boris 'well..'
'why are you inviting trolls into no10 without an appointment?'
Boris 'what, what trolls? what are you talking about'
'Mr Gove has been on the phone saying you had let some internet trolls in for a tour of downing St'
Boris 'He said what! he had no right contacting you and they they arnt trolls they are our fan club'
'fan club?, Prime minister you are not the Beatles and it is unacceptable to let any uncle tom coberly and all in here for a look around'
Boris ' Ive told you they are not just anyone they are very acceptable ladies'
'well I should have guessed they'd be women'
Boris 'I beg your parden'
'look Prime Minister maybe you should stop thinking with whats in your Calvin Klein and start thinking with your head! isnt it enough that you have made a mess of the whole handling of the Coronavirus without making a mockery of the government?'
Boris 'how dare you, how dare you come in here telling me what Ive done you know nothing, just some incorrect nonsense from Michael now Get out before I call security'
'Dont worry Im going but I'll be bringing this up on Wednesday at the next PMQ's'

*back at Whittys laboratory*
'wow its a lot bigger then I thought it would be'
Whitty 'yes well sometimes we can have up to 6 people in here at once'
'It smells very clean'
whitty 'yes Im quite fussy about keeping everything clean'
cushtybert 'Oh Im the same Im always anti backing my worktops and that at home.' noticing a wall with shelves of borosilicate glass beak of all shapes and sizes. 'oh I like that, Ive never seen them shaped like that before'
Whitty 'that wall has a very special feature'
'really?'
'whitty' yes would you like to see?'
'yes please mr whitty' whitty goes towards it grabs a beaker on the middle shelf pushes it and the wall begins to slide backwards, moves to the side and reveals a red room.
'Wow thats amazing' she says walking inside'
Whitty 'do you like it?'
'oh yes Mr Whitty'
Whitty' I do wish you would stop calling me Mr Whitty'
'well what would you like me to call you'
Whitty 'Master' he says as his eye go dark and he grabs a pair of handcuffs from the hook.
'

 

[coconochanel]

When Penguin ( aka the one who publishes the youtubers shit books) get in contact to publish my 50 shades of no10 book, you will all be invited to the release party. I cant promise all the fab five will be there but I bet Matt will he likes a dance and a drink.

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I love that he stands on a box

 

[Boredofthegram]

This is better than the crap that’s on telly. Gripping stuff I am howling here

 

[cushtybert]

My husbands on tomorrow at 9.30

 

[cushtybert]

Boris 'well its been an absolute pleasure ladies absolute pleasure'
Cushtybert 'would it be possible to meet Chris Whitty'
Boris 'Im not sure about that he's very busy and a very private man is Christopher'
Cushtybert 'Oh please it wouldnt have to be for long just a quick hello and for him to meet Winston'
Boris 'well I'll see what I can do'
Cushtybert 'Thank you Prime Minister'
Boris 'arnt you forgetting something?' he says as they are about to walk out the door 'My hug!'
coconochanel 'Oh yes how did I forget'
the other honeys look at each other and try not to laugh as Boris enfolds coco in a tight hug.
coconochanel pulling away as she feels him getting a semi 'right bye then Prime minister lovely to meet you'
Boris' bye ladies lovely to meet you too and maybe next time we can make it bit more of a private meeting haha'
Gove comes barging in
'Prime Minister theres a goat outside..he sees the honeys 'oh sorry didnt know you were busy, hello' he says to the honeys then spots the writing on their t shirts and his face turns to thunder.
Boris 'Its ok the ladies were just leaving they are going to meet Mr Hancock'
As they leave they can hear Gove having a rant...'What the hell are they doing here? came to meet you. do you know what they call me? PPG pissy pants gove its all over the internet...im not over reacting, Ive never been so humiliated in all my life and here they are having a bloody tour of number 10'...

'Sorry to bother you Mr Whitty but The Prime Minister is on the phone he says the Downing Street Honeys are here and wondered if it would be possible to meet you?'
Whitty 'Well Im not sure Im quite busy and this room is sterile and covid free'
'Sorry Prime Minister what was that? ones got a whip'
Whitty 'Ok Ok I'll meet them but they must be anti bacterial sprayed first and wear PPE'
'the Prime Minister said can Winston the goat come?'
Whitty 'absolutely not! I will see him outside'

This is better then Harry Potter!!!

 

[coconochanel]

stranger things have happened . can we wait till I’ve had my bikini line waxed and my moustache and eyebrows threaded?


Let’s have a think about who could play who...what fun we shall have

Raaabbbb - James Norton
Rishi - Louis Theroux
Matt - Piers Morgan
Boris - Bungle from Rainbow
Whitty - Prince William

No Whitty has to be Lauren Harris from Big Brother

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I need to think happy thoughts. I don’t want images of PPG invading my dreams!

Look at Van Tam all excited at the thought of tearing the pants off you

 

[Renegadedancer]

When Penguin ( aka the one who publishes the youtubers shit books) get in contact to publish my 50 shades of no10 book, you will all be invited to the release party.

Can we have a decent goodie bag...?

A whip
Yorkshire Tea
A pink Tie
A dildo
A book about Labradors

 

[jo30]

He might surprise us wear his blue one for a change!

Hope so but I bet it pink

I had a same customer come in again and said behind a customer i was serving isn't it you who likes Matt Hancock went red as a beetroot!!!

 

[coconochanel]

* In Doms office*
'you know ladies I was disappointed you voted Matt as your overall no1'
coconochanel' well you lost points refusing to take a knee'
Dom 'is that right?'
Platypusfattypus 'Id get on both my knees for you Mr Raab'
'That would be a good start' he says licking his lips *phone rings*
'yes?..right...ok I will let her know?' puts phone down
'Which one of you is cushtybert?'
cushtybert 'me'
Dom' well Chris Whitty is on his way up to meet you and Winston. he said to meet him at outside the front door'
cushtybert 'really oh gosh I better get going then'
renegeadancer' good luck and show him what your made of'
cushtybert cracking her whip 'dont worry I will'.
'Dom' now where were we?'
coconochanel 'platypusfattypus was saying she'd get on her knees for you'
Dom 'ahh yes.. well I tell you what you lot go and visit Rishi while platypuss makes it up to me for voting Matt no1'
jo30 'good idea come on lets go' she says as Dom starts to undo his belt

*back outside no10*
security guy 'how long are those women going to be I thought they were only having a quick me and greet with the Prime Minister? they've been in there for over an hour and this goat has pooped all over the steps theres no way Im cleaning that up!'
policeman ' get the cleaner to come and do it'
security guy' yes I think I will. Oh hello professor'
Whitty 'hello how are you? spotting the goat and this must be Winston'
security' it sure is'
whitty stroking winston and doesnt notice cushtybert coming out the door 'hello Winston you are a handsome chap'
cushtybert 'Mr Whitty'
Whitty looking up and taking in cushtyberts beauty' hello you must be cushtybert'
'I am, pleased to meet you, I see you've met Winston'
whitty 'I have and hes a character isnt he?''
'he sure is' she says as Winston begins to eat Whittys tie.
cushtybert' no Winston stop that, that's naughty' sorry about that professor'.
whitty laughing 'its ok'
cushtybert 'I hope you didn't mind me asking to meet you I know your very busy'
Whitty 'oh no its fine, its just not a lot of people are allowed in my laboratory all at once it has to be kept sterile and covid free'
cushtybert 'Oh I understand that Mr Whitty anyway the other honeys are meeting Raab at the minute'
Whitty' Yes I know. as you are on our own would you like a quick tour of my office and laboratory?'
cushtybert' oh yes please'
'Hey! what about this goat?' the security man he shouts as they walk off down the street.

 

[Gym&Tonic]

David Cameron once knocked on my cousins front door and he told him to fuck off

 

[coconochanel]

Afternoon my lovelies, Ive just got back from going into town and I must say although I went early (9.30am) there was hardly anyone about and I went straight in Primark then popped to Zara and H&M. Happy times P.S part two of our trip to Downing St is coming later.

 

[Renegadedancer]

I like Sir Keir’s passion and decency I think. He’s the polar opposite to Boris and the Tories!

He’s decent for now...let’s hope he can stay that way. If not Madame Tussaud’s will gladly offer him a place to stand

 

[cushtybert]

I want Rishi in my area.

I bet you do

I’m crap at meeting famous people, I once met Ken Barlow..he asked me my name and I couldn’t remember it, my mum had to answer for me. I don’t even like him what the hell would I be like if I met Whitty...oh I know I’d be like Mattikins and the interviewer outside the hospital

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I’m off to bed to dream filthy dreams about Dom and his big strong arms

I dreamed my hoover blew up and that annoyed me.

I watched the Marr show last night. That bit where he got annoyed and said "hold on, hold on" was amazing

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I went out walking and had to rescue my dog from the canal. He is a sausage dog so can't get out. I was soaking wet

 

[Platypusfattypus]

Mines got to involve his desk. I'm obsessed with that desk and him

Only 10 minutes?!

Pump pump squirt

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I think Whitty is on the Parliament channel at 3pm today

Oh illnmiss him. I'm at work. I keep sneaking on to see if I'm shagging Raab on his desk yet

 

[Platypusfattypus]

It's a terrific toy and it does a terrific job. Amazing. Fantastic. It's been said it's the best toy, the fake media won't say it but I've heard it said.