Clemmie Telford #4 But why Clemmie?

[hattie20]

Oh I remember those days, them lot going to posh breakfast meetings in central London to talk about inequality in a room full of white rich women

It was always bloody breakfast, wasn’t it? Always breakfast. Which they would all film themselves rushing off to like very important people. And always goody bags and expensive flowers on the tables. All so that they could talk about themselves.

It was always head girl, Mother Pukka in her serious journalist glasses, interviewing her mates, in front of all their other mates, talking about stuff that they all knew about each other anyway. Nodding sagely and taking it all very seriously with the odd tear thrown in.

Fucking baffling. What a waste of everyone’s time.

And then there would be the obligatory group photo, usually huddled around a smug looking MOD who was positioned to look like the fucking second coming.

Ah, I almost miss those days.


ETA - the photo also always included dress like a mum being quirky in the corner. Oh Zoe! You sequinned loon! God love the lot of them.

 

[skronkywildcat]

That’s not poetry.

There once was an arsehole from Peckham
Who likes to buy houses and wreck’em
Let’s move down to Kent
The money’s been spent!
Anyone know cheap movers? Nah, feck ‘em.

 

[Ummasad]

As someone who contributed (AKA wrote the whole fucking thing) to one of her 'lists', this fills me with rage. She has zero writing skills, zero editorial skills and the emotional intelligence of a crusty sock.

 

[hattie20]

I love it when posh, privately educated gels called Clementine tell us that they got where they are in life through sheer grit and hard work. I’m sure it has nothing to do with privilege, connections and Mum & Dad’s money.

Yup.

It’s like telling someone who works in Tesco to stack those shelves faster! Scan the shopping though quicker, so that and you might make it all the way to head office!

Patronising shit.

For a lot of people, who already work really fucking hard, working harder makes fuck all difference. You just work yourself into an early grave, for the same shit pay and no recognition or progression. So you might as well not work hard, actually.

That’s what people like Clemmie will never understand.Their world of contacts really isn’t the norm. And not everyone had mummy and daddy with a big house and lots of money to fall back on.

Her “bankruptcy” blog was pure comedy. She is so far removed from the real world but she tries to be all street with the rings (which aren’t out the argos catalogue but cost a small fortune as we found out when she “lost” them ) and the tattoos.

I don’t know who she is trying to be.

Remember the heyday of the instamums where for some unknown reason, they would all get together and be paid to film ‘conversations’ about things. Clemmie telford, MP, MOD steph and some other insufferable, middle class airheads and they were always so fucking pleased with themselves.

Don’t know what my point it, I just can’t stand her, or any of them.

 

[maytoseptember]

I love it when posh, privately educated gels called Clementine tell us that they got where they are in life through sheer grit and hard work. I’m sure it has nothing to do with privilege, connections and Mum & Dad’s money.

 

[Bea123456]

I work in the industry and can report that Clemmie has sold 97 copies in two weeks!
Ouch. Mother Pukka sold just under 2k and is in the bestseller list.

 

[Wolf359]

Right, don’t judge but I went to a Mothers Meeting once. I used to live in Shoreditch and it was right round the corner from me, so I went while I was on mat leave. It was so fucking weird. Everyone dressed to the absolute nines in Rixo, and Scamp and Dude. The panel was Mother Pukka, MoD and some poor, really normal looking lovely woman who was launching a meditation app and was obviously only there for the PR.
MP and MoD nasally monotoned absolute drivel for about an hour about how hard it was to find time for yourself when you were a mum. Then Jenny Mothers Meetings took over and presented a PowerPoint that was embarrassingly bad and riddled with spelling mistakes. I know she makes a big thing out of being dyslexic, but my partner is dyslexic and he’s obsessive about spell checking all his work presentations and making sure there are no mistakes.
I think with the insta huns that dyslexia was a cover for being thick as well as a substitute for a personality trait.
Ha! Am enjoying the nostalgia of the insta mums’ heyday. What a time to be alive and on maternity leave that was. I wonder if any of them have the self-awareness to look back on it all and cringe all the way inside out of their arseholes. Or are they oblivious to how irrelevant they are these days? Surely the dried up sponcon and lack of book deals must be a clue?

 

[nowimallovertheshop]

Releasing a podcast about child safeguarding when you’ve over shared your children to hundreds of thousands of people for years to the extent that a complete stranger could walk past them in the street & know their names, ages, interests, what their house looks like, who their extended family/family friends are, where they go to eat/play/holiday, even what they had for dinner the day before. It’s the arrogance of it for me!!

 

[Antonina]

Oh I remember those days, them lot going to posh breakfast meetings in central London to talk about inequality in a room full of white rich women

 

[notthefullshilling]

Horses for courses but if I'd made that much money off a London house I'd be looking to go mortgage free somewhere so I could spend more time with kids whilst they were little. The costs (and stress) of a reno, heating, not to mention filling a house of that size with furniture and stuff... Ooof. Such a waste and personally find it really distasteful, a house of that size for a family of 5 (if it isn't going to be a business) is unnecessary. Such a status thing amongst their set, obviously. And on street parking, no thanks.
I think they struggled to sell their London house for 900k and had to reduce it?

 

[Cascara]

It just seems like such a strange move.

Moving to the seaside was the in thing for the instamamas a couple of years ago. As ever, budget Clemmie was late to the party and cocked it up buying a shit house just because it was big, thinking it would make her the next MOD.

 

[blurstoftimes]

you forgot to add the quite frankly terrifying photo accompanying her sage advice...why is she snarling?! she looks like a long lost Mitchell sister returning to albert square

 

[Cascara]

But Why, Clemmie? Why does she need such a massive house? She’s only got 3 kids, and looking at the size of the kitchen that was a BIG B&B. Complete with its own bar in the basement, that’s not someone letting out a couple of spare rooms, that’s a small hotel, albeit one that looks quite Fawlty Towers! And ‘this would’ve cost £3 million in Peckham’ comment- what, did you get it for a mere £2 mill, Budget Clemmie? Just boils my piss that someone with no discernible talent or ability, who has built her brand on ripping off other people’s experiences, traumas and skills, is able land book deals, podcast sponsorships and to buy a house like that. And call me a jealous hater if you want, yeah, I am jealous someone so lazy and talentless gets everything handed to them on a plate!

 

[GAC37]

I’ve just been searching for this thread, so glad I’ve found it! I unfollowed CT ages ago, I just couldn’t take her smug/ I’m trying to seem nice but I’m actually a mean girl/I’m so cool routine any more but she popped up on Steph DBHF’s feed so thought I’d have a nose. How predictable! It’s like they all have tick boxes - have third child, write a book, have a podcast, decide to move to the coast, buy huge house, get freebies to renovate it, show smug face on beach daily.

That hotel though!! It’s a bargain (our 4 bed semi in the Home Counties is worth the same ) but why? Why buy a huge place like that as a home? All I keep imagining is walking up to bed past all those empty dark rooms, wondering who might be hiding there! Such a shame someone isn’t buying it to create a lovely hotel for tourists to enjoy. For her it’s pure greed and wanting to show off. Instagram is one big competitive arena. Urgh.

 

[Lipsofchicken]

Is she that desperate? But

why?

 

[Cascara]

After watching about 2 minutes of that excrutiating ‘interview’ with MOD and Budget Clemmie, I now have visions of those ‘breakfasts’ being full of middle class women in fugly expensive dresses, fringes and glasses all standing up and shouting ‘I’m Clemmie’ ‘No, I’m Clemmie’, Spartacus style.

 

[Rosieee]

A little appreciation for that throwback story of that time she wanted to be MOD so badly. So creepy.

 

[ilovebees]

I heard the beginning of the podcast and I had to Google online to see what others thought of it - which led me here.

I'm so glad other people see the hypocrisy and problems with Clemmie hosting this particular podcast. It was done so insensitively, as already mentioned with the shift from CSA to smarties to free haircuts (which after a year when salons have mostly been closed is just vile) to clips from Schitts Creek. She has no idea how to deal with a topic with integrity.

And then I checked her account and she still has loads of photos of her half naked children on there. She made her platform from oversharing her children and invading their privacy and even after conversations on CSA she won't admit her mistake. Mental

 

[Rosieee]

Microcement? Seriously, is that all this woman has to worry about? The pink stuff under/around her bathroom tiles? (I assume happy to be corrected). Utterly utterly baffling. I wonder if her husband has gone back to work to fund this? She used to be a creative director or something didn’t she, she worked for Facebook - is that how this is affordable?! I’d love if she was honest, it’s taking an absolute age so presumably it’s not been a walk in the park

She worked for Facebook as a contractor for like a year and made it out like she was sheryl sandberg.

 

[Cascara]

I think this has been mentioned before,,possibly even by me, but anyone else remember Budget Clemmie’s finest hour, complaining that seeing a rough sleeper drinking cider in the park had ‘ruined her vibe’ on the school run? I mean, how do you even long board your arduous commute when your vibe has been brought down, man?