hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
Aww lovelies he's been reframed, I didnae know TKmaxx offer such bespoke service.
- Notice
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
I got up the day, not a cloud in the sky, hung my cunt washings, made drinks up and stuck them in the freezer, back door wide open, radio on. I thought... what the fuck are you doing, you stupid bitch. So I slammed all the windows shut, put the heating on, cut all the heads off my wee flowers to make it autumny, got my cunt washings off the line and stuck it on radiators, put my hoosecoat on, lit a wax melt in the scent pumpkin (I hate it but it's autumn the day, ma autumn - ma rhools) I've chucked some acorns around the TV stand, aye looks good. Got a stew in the slow cooker the noo, aboot to sit down all warum and cosy with a hot chocolate. Get cosy the day ma lovelies 
Whats the 411
Chatty Member
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
I cannae believe you all doubted oor poor Marion.
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
Ma lovelies, she was spotted today flogging pumpkins, so aye. A U T U M N
Fanta lemon
Chatty Member
You vile trolls, always talking about Martins wee mushroom 
well the joke's on you now, our Martin is actually hung like a donkey 
well the joke's on you now, our Martin is actually hung like a donkey Attachments
hopethishelpsallthebest
VIP Member
All is not lost ma lovelies! A U T U M N
blocknroll
Well-known member
What Martin heard: petty cash
What Deek said: need more hash
What Deek said: need more hash
Whats the 411
Chatty Member
Mystic Martin
Madge2022
VIP Member
Altogether now, money talks mmm, money talks, petty cash I want you, petty cash I need you oh
Ah've just realised where ah've seen wee Deek afore, he wiz Claypole in Rentaghost. He's been sending Martin Sharting the spooky messages and Robin visitors and nae debates!
Whenthelightsturntostars
VIP Member
Thread title suggestion: Petty cash for his autumn stash, Martin reframed hisself in TK Maxx.
Spine bright like a wax melt on a summer evening
Spine bright like a wax melt on a summer evening
MurielFinster
Active member
I’ve just clocked the prince of paisley and his miniature fiancé walking through Clydebank with his wee Roy cropper shopping bag.
We are in for a treat tonight I think!
We are in for a treat tonight I think!
or JusRollWithIt
VIP Member
Hullooo ma lovelies. 
I just got the book Shuggie Bain from the library and I was warned by the librarian that I may have a hard time with the Glaswegian dialect. She needs to swerve back in her own lane because I am well-versed thanks to this thread and I am mop-kicking my way through the pages, nae debates.
I just got the book Shuggie Bain from the library and I was warned by the librarian that I may have a hard time with the Glaswegian dialect. She needs to swerve back in her own lane because I am well-versed thanks to this thread and I am mop-kicking my way through the pages, nae debates.
laynelo_
VIP Member
I picture this scene this morning…
*Marion walking intae the RAH in his nike gym leggings and full length puffer jacket, Deek by his side for moral support carrying a B&M bag, walks to the receptionist*
“What’s your name?”
“MARIO. McKnight. Aye Mario hen, DEFINITELY no Martin. I’m Italian by the way.”
“What would be your emergency?”
“Av got this 4 inch deep cut on the side a ma hand, LOOK *shows cat scratch* it’s obviously needing stitches Ma luvlie.”
*Receptionist is baffled*
“The wait time for a doctor is 6 hours.”
*Maz scrunches his beak*
“Wit hen? Do you know who a am? and wit a day? I’m an influencer hen, but it’s no ma joab. I’ve actually got a another joab that am meanty be gawn tae the noo but I’m stuck in here, bleeding tae death hen. I demand tae see a doctor.”
“I’m sorry but your cut isn’t classified as an emergency.”
*Marion storms oot the doors, raging.*
“Derek check those fucking bus times we’re gawn up the road tae get aw cozy, they stupid doctors have just made a brassneck a me on this app.”
Derek replies, “Wit about your work?”
“I CANNY go tae work lit this. I’ll no be posting on that app the day.”
So aye hens that’s why he’s no posted I imagine
*Marion walking intae the RAH in his nike gym leggings and full length puffer jacket, Deek by his side for moral support carrying a B&M bag, walks to the receptionist*
“What’s your name?”
“MARIO. McKnight. Aye Mario hen, DEFINITELY no Martin. I’m Italian by the way.”
“What would be your emergency?”
“Av got this 4 inch deep cut on the side a ma hand, LOOK *shows cat scratch* it’s obviously needing stitches Ma luvlie.”
*Receptionist is baffled*
“The wait time for a doctor is 6 hours.”
*Maz scrunches his beak*
“Wit hen? Do you know who a am? and wit a day? I’m an influencer hen, but it’s no ma joab. I’ve actually got a another joab that am meanty be gawn tae the noo but I’m stuck in here, bleeding tae death hen. I demand tae see a doctor.”
“I’m sorry but your cut isn’t classified as an emergency.”
*Marion storms oot the doors, raging.*
“Derek check those fucking bus times we’re gawn up the road tae get aw cozy, they stupid doctors have just made a brassneck a me on this app.”
Derek replies, “Wit about your work?”
“I CANNY go tae work lit this. I’ll no be posting on that app the day.”
So aye hens that’s why he’s no posted I imagine
ScottishMammy92
Active member
I'm so confused...
M O N D A Y MARTIN:
I'll absolutely no be dain ANY autumn hauls. Nae decorating. Nain. This isnae ma joab. This app isnae ma life. Al no be dain it. Its fur arseholes. Nut.
W E D N E S D A Y Marion:
Set yer timers ma lovelies for an autumn haul like yev never seen afore! Just waiting on parcel 75 to arrive before I make the world's shitiest reel to higher love and tag all the small business I've put on the map (amazon, home bargains, the range, poundland, Facebook marketplace). Cannae wait fur it this bastard heats too much. Am done! No ma quote.
F R I D A Y Martin:
Listen ma lovelies I went totally pure overboard at Christmas. Let this app get tae me. Let it bother me. Went daft. Al no be dain it this year. Same theme. Same tacky shite. Nae change. Aw the same. Staying in ma lane. Spine bright lovelies and let's mop kick this week in the arse!
S U N D A Y Marion:
Right ma lovelies this bastard heats just too much int it? So av cooled maself down by ordering some new gorgeous Christmas baubles fur ma tree. Few mare bits tae come so get it in yer diaries...Beirut Christmas overhaul incoming! Candy Cane? A don't know her. We move!
This bastard has lost his mind. I'm almost questioning my own sanity at this point. Getting back in my lane. No ma quote guys.
M O N D A Y MARTIN:
I'll absolutely no be dain ANY autumn hauls. Nae decorating. Nain. This isnae ma joab. This app isnae ma life. Al no be dain it. Its fur arseholes. Nut.
W E D N E S D A Y Marion:
Set yer timers ma lovelies for an autumn haul like yev never seen afore! Just waiting on parcel 75 to arrive before I make the world's shitiest reel to higher love and tag all the small business I've put on the map (amazon, home bargains, the range, poundland, Facebook marketplace). Cannae wait fur it this bastard heats too much. Am done! No ma quote.
F R I D A Y Martin:
Listen ma lovelies I went totally pure overboard at Christmas. Let this app get tae me. Let it bother me. Went daft. Al no be dain it this year. Same theme. Same tacky shite. Nae change. Aw the same. Staying in ma lane. Spine bright lovelies and let's mop kick this week in the arse!
S U N D A Y Marion:
Right ma lovelies this bastard heats just too much int it? So av cooled maself down by ordering some new gorgeous Christmas baubles fur ma tree. Few mare bits tae come so get it in yer diaries...Beirut Christmas overhaul incoming! Candy Cane? A don't know her. We move!
This bastard has lost his mind. I'm almost questioning my own sanity at this point. Getting back in my lane. No ma quote guys.
Couldlifeeverbesaneagain
Chatty Member
Blanche Hunt
Chatty Member
So a wee birdie telt auld Blanche how it really went the day
*Marion downloads App*
Marion: Hello? It’s me Mario. Is there anyboady oan the other side that wants tae talk tae me?
*silence*
Marion: Natalie hen, it’s Mario. Dae ye want tae talk tae me?
*silence*
Marion: Fur fucks sake, is there anyboady oot there that wants tae talk tae me?
Voice fae doonstairs: Go fuck yersel Bruno
*Marion squealing*
Marion: DEEK, DEEK DID YOU FUCKING HEAR THAT? A WUMAN JIST SPOKE TAE ME OAN THIS FUCKING APP!
Deek: saying whit?
Marion: Ah don’t ken, sounded like “Its yersel, Mario”. Who the fuck wis that?? Am fucking feart, get that app deleted.
*a few hours pass. Marion hears a noise oot in the communal stairway and like the noisy basturt he is, he runs tae the peephole*
Marion: oh ma fucking god, there’s a fucking robin et the door Deek. A robin, it’s a sign. It’s a sign fae the wuman talking tae me.
*Marion opens the door tae the robin*
Robin: Hiya, Ave got a message for a *checks paper* Martin McKnight? The message says “Mario, gees peace and stop using the dead for content. Sincerely, the entire deceased community.” Gid day tae ye, ya fud.
*The robin flys off* “whit a fucking dive this place is, gates ah fucking hell the cheeky prick”
*Marion downloads App*
Marion: Hello? It’s me Mario. Is there anyboady oan the other side that wants tae talk tae me?
*silence*
Marion: Natalie hen, it’s Mario. Dae ye want tae talk tae me?
*silence*
Marion: Fur fucks sake, is there anyboady oot there that wants tae talk tae me?
Voice fae doonstairs: Go fuck yersel Bruno
*Marion squealing*
Marion: DEEK, DEEK DID YOU FUCKING HEAR THAT? A WUMAN JIST SPOKE TAE ME OAN THIS FUCKING APP!
Deek: saying whit?
Marion: Ah don’t ken, sounded like “Its yersel, Mario”. Who the fuck wis that?? Am fucking feart, get that app deleted.
*a few hours pass. Marion hears a noise oot in the communal stairway and like the noisy basturt he is, he runs tae the peephole*
Marion: oh ma fucking god, there’s a fucking robin et the door Deek. A robin, it’s a sign. It’s a sign fae the wuman talking tae me.
*Marion opens the door tae the robin*
Robin: Hiya, Ave got a message for a *checks paper* Martin McKnight? The message says “Mario, gees peace and stop using the dead for content. Sincerely, the entire deceased community.” Gid day tae ye, ya fud.
*The robin flys off* “whit a fucking dive this place is, gates ah fucking hell the cheeky prick”
Bianca Del Rio
Active member
Am back with the receipts ma lovelies. I’ve understood the assignment and so forth.
Mario’s response to Hinch’s snub:
Crawling back up her arsehole a day later:
The other home account doing him dirty (it’s a smaller account so don’t want to compromise their security hens)
Katie’s mum throwing shade:
Mario’s response to Hinch’s snub:
Crawling back up her arsehole a day later:
The other home account doing him dirty (it’s a smaller account so don’t want to compromise their security hens)
Katie’s mum throwing shade:
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BespokeBiatch
VIP Member
How can he have gone from “Im not doing autumn this year I only decorated last year cos I was mid-breakdown” to setting a countdown for next weekend, before the schools are even back, when it’s to be 27c next weekend 
Someone phone leverndale and book a bed space please x
Someone phone leverndale and book a bed space please x