The thought of Mario’s sweaty gusset has made me come over awe funny 
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Phew, the trigger warning was for something so serious and potentially distressing it meant he was aw cosy and in bed watching telly by 9pm.
Idea, USE THE OTHER HAND. 
You're touching yourself you dirty witch.The thought of Mario’s sweaty gusset has made me come over awe funny
I sort of understand him when he says he needs the duvet - I struggle to sleep too but we usually just use the sheet at this time of year and forget about the duvet. But if he’s so hot, why is he already under the duvet if he’s just watching tv?!
Because that would be the sensible thing to do and Martin doesn’t do sensible my lovely .
Mibbe he's on doctors orders for bed rest after his brush with death today.
To be fair tae her, I can’t believe she went tae work and battled oan wae that war wound. Such a wee trouper. So aye
I do not need visions of Maz in a G-string before I go tae ma bed ma luvlieThe thought of Mario’s sweaty gusset has made me come over awe funny
Or get a call out doctor, private GP/paramedic for oor marion can't be papped leaving paisley palace going Into an ambulance ohhh no jeprodise he's safety doing that. He'd be on front of daily record again but for embarrassing reasons.
Add nickers 'knickers' add that to listOr quiet for quite and angles for angels
Get yourself to a/e hen just to make sure your ok…. You might have punctured a lung
How would he know he needs stitches when he's sat in his flat when this massacre happened 
he ain't a doctor so unless he called 111 and wasted everyone's valuable time...which wouldn't surprise me tbh. He would of deffo taken us on an a&e journeeeee if he'd got stitches. Aka had his hand sawn off.
Wee joke of a man. Pisses me off how he types and spells things on his stories, you may TALK like that but why do you have to write it like that
moron.
he ain't a doctor so unless he called 111 and wasted everyone's valuable time...which wouldn't surprise me tbh. He would of deffo taken us on an a&e journeeeee if he'd got stitches. Aka had his hand sawn off.Wee joke of a man. Pisses me off how he types and spells things on his stories, you may TALK like that but why do you have to write it like that
moron.He should have plucked out one of those big gross hairs on his hand, stitched it up with that. Did we all note his two terrible engagement rings on his bloodied stump of a hand?
I can’t believe that hole went to A&E with a paper cut what part of only attend accident and emergency if it’s a life or death situation does that prick not understand. Our NHS is on its arse. What a dick you are Smartin 
what part of only attend accident and emergency if it’s a life or death situation does that prick not understand. Our NHS is on its arse. What a dick you are Smartin Or breath for breatheOr quiet for quite and angles for angels
my biggest hate followed by they're there and their usage AND ANOTHER THING (I'm on a rant toneet)
Did I imagine his story post about how Deek 'said' that with the amount of followers our Life and Saviour Martin has got on Instagram he could fill a football stadium 3 times? Did this happen or am I delusional in this heat
both are possible!
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I'm afraid it happened love. They're both thick twatsOr breath for breathe
AND ANOTHER THING (I'm on a rant toneet)
Did I imagine his story post about how Deek 'said' that with the amount of followers our Life and Saviour Martin has got on Instagram he could fill a football stadium 3 times? Did this happen or am I delusional in this heat
I cannae believe you all doubted oor poor Marion.
Dear god. It wasn't a dream.I'm afraid it happened love. They're both thick twats
Fair enough but a bet he’s a vicious wee bastard. Mind it’s him who polices Martin’s inbox, outbox shake it aw aboot box and he hates us nasty trolls. He didnae step in either when Martin shoved the wee granny oot his road but am away oot ma ain lane ma lovely
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