Cleaning with Mario #13 He can't believe it's not clutter

[Cagayu]

"Ken, do something"

Inspired.

 

[Cagayu]

And so comfy what

 

[ayeayecaptain]

For when Pete Beale asks him to keep an eye on his stall.....

 

[Curly]

Don’t want you all hating here but a fried tattie scone on a buttered roll is an absolute delight no tattie scone should be done in the toaster

 

[Caramel Swirl]

Early thread suggestion
Marion Potter & the prisoner of Paisley (Derek)

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

'you canny go wrang with grey and white'

And yet somehow Melvin you manage

 

[Jeaniepeanie]

Well ma lovlies, I've avoided commenting on this wee boujee bastard for a few weeks cause I just couldn't stand listening to his whingey wee stories and look at his big boaby nose anymore without wanting to neck a cheeky bottle of zoflora with an elbow grease chaser, but today he's went a bit far on his quest for sympathy messages and support from his muffia. Nobody wants you deid mario, we want you to stop poisoning your cat, start paying your way in the house and you 'built from the grun up', start treating Derek with the respect he deserves instead of like a personal ATM and a bit of shite stuck to your gooooochi trainers.

A 40 year old man that has to beg for attention on the gram, SMH
Also, since you read here, please get a better colour match on the concealer you're wearing under your glecks, it's making you look like you've got jaundice ya pleb

 

[Badaboom]

No, you’re a dope!

Think you might be pushing that photographs ability to hide things, Melv!

 

[Johnnoijones]

Melvin is so important he has messages coming into his primary mailbox, secondary mailbox and his outbox. He does not get messages through his letterbox. The cooncil smashed that in.

 

[Cagayu]

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

A Home Bargains haul to look forward to tomorrow. I can't even begin to imagine what was needed when in the last few months he's acquired a shark steamer, shark handheld, new dinner set, new pots and pans, cereal dispenser, glass jars for his herbs, glass mugs and shelf hooks, shitey shoe storage plus some shitey shoes, a salmon pink rug, jack n danny cushions, wax melt breezeblock burners and melts, reed diffusers galore and extra reeds, an echodot holder, voile curtains, shitey bedding, new basin, collapsible bucket and strainer, his "Melvin" sign for the vanity area, a pink candle, a Louis vuitton cereal box, bathmat set, 2 jack n danny man bags, a shit ton of skincare products, a cleaning caddy and a partridge in a pear tree.

And I'm pretty sure I'll have missed stuff, but feck me, I feel like I've just played the conveyor belt challenge from the Generation Game.

Vulgar!

 

[DilysMcGillis]

Melvin patently has no idea either as he tosses them about out of context.

Melvins mass produced plush bed came flat packed and the delivery guys then put it together in his home. Melvin believes this makes it bespoke.

He would describe the way he "styles" this bed as boujee.

Melvins Christmas abomination (tree) in pink would be described by him as both boujee and bespoke.

Fidiot.

These aren’t the only two that require clarification

Outbox/inbox
Itterate/reiterate
Joost/just/gist
Hunners/no one
Thoosands/one or two
Staple/one of a bajillion others
Game changer/plastic tat & toot that will fall to pieces after first use & be quietly sent to its landfill graveyard
Not greasy/A cardiologists worst nightmare
I’m fine, I’m absolutely fine/ please message me asking what’s wrong, I need attention
Deep clean/ a cursory wipe or hoover around stationary objects

I’m going to work or this could go on indefinitely

These aren’t the only two that require clarification

Outbox/inbox
Itterate/reiterate
Joost/just/gist
Hunners/no one
Thoosands/one or two
Staple/one of a bajillion others
Game changer/plastic tat & toot that will fall to pieces after first use & be quietly sent to its landfill graveyard
Not greasy/A cardiologists worst nightmare
I’m fine, I’m absolutely fine/ please message me asking what’s wrong, I need attention
Deep clean/ a cursory wipe or hoover around stationary objects

I’m going to work or this could go on indefinitely

Remember someone messaged him asking what boujee meant & he didn’t even know

 

[twilightgarden]

At first glance I thought Mario had tried that photo app to change your gender!
The poor woman, I’m sorry for thinking you looked like a female Mario. Maybe I should get myself some bespoke glasses wae nuthin in them so I can see better, who needs prescript ones!

 

[Cagayu]

I can safely assure him that if he's had a death threat, it won't be someone on here.
Granted, I like to take the mick and laugh at some of his ways but I'd never wish death on him... Ever.

I know you read on here Mario, so I'll tell you this. We watch you because it's fun to laugh and discuss how daft you are. The typos. Your sayings. It's like watching big brother or some other daily reality show. You know you shouldn't watch as it irritates the shit out of you but it's great to discuss and have a laugh over how extra the participants are.

 

[Butthatsnoneofmybusiness]

I watched his stories there and he’s such a superficial “cleaner”. Sprays and wipes obvious surfaces but he never really CLEANS or gets into the corner of anything. It should be called “wiping with Mario”.

 

[Butthatsnoneofmybusiness]

I’d like the next thread to be called Cleaning with Mario #14 Nae debates.

 

[BespokeBiatch]

IBS = Intensive Bespoke Shite

I vote this as next thread title

 

[shadyessex33]

Fucking hell. Considering he “never drinks” I’ve seen the cunt with at least 4 hangovers since I started following him. That pizza as well. That’s a lot of dough for someone with “IBS”. Wouldn’t wanna be Dezza tonight. It’ll be like the scene out of Trainspotting again

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

Why burn two different smelling wax melts at the same time in the same 1m x 1m room? I can feel a migraine coming along just thinking about it.

Ye wouldne go oot wearin Tom Ford on one wrist and Glow by J-Lo on the other would you Marion? Nae debates.

 

[DilysMcGillis]

I am going to say it again Melvin, men and makeup is not that unusual. Let’s go back a few decades shall we? Adam Ant,Boy George, Rupaul, Prince, glam rock stars. All main stream, all trendsetters.
Then there’s the male makeup artists. Kevin Aucoin for example in the 80’s/90’s. He also has his own range that has been around for quite some time.
The early 2000’s there was the ‘guy liner’ trend.
10 years ago Maybelline had males wearing makeup in adverts. YSL launched a male version of touché eclat.

YOU ARE NOT A TRAILBLAZER.

You better mind your manners, cleaningupthecrap! He was the first geigh in the village, the first male to ever wear make up & the first to invent putting a plant pot atop the toilet cistern to render flushing the toilet awkwardly impossible. You better start giving him the respect he’s due! St Marion of Paisley, patron saint of small businesses, flammable textiles & cats that despise their owners