Alfie Deyes #5 What a ducking moron!

[Otis94]

"Guuuuuyzzzzz, I don't understand why my sponsored insta posts get waaaay less likes. All my brand deals are supppppeeeer authentic and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I get thousands of pounds worth of freebies and a shit ton of money from LG. I'm doing this insta story to make you feel like I really value your opinions, but in reality it's just a sneaky beg for likes, cause if you don't engage with my ads then i'll probs get less brand deals and we all know I need the cash to fund my vapid, self indulgent, suppppeeer wasteful, sick bro send it lifestyle. Love you guys soooo much"

 

[sitesorestrictive]

A video of his hasn't made my blood boil this much probably since the 1 pound fiasco. I've never wanted to reach into the screen and smack him so hard in my life. I need to vent:

1. Shaves a patch in his beard and decides just to leave it
2. Says his viewers won't like minecraft vids because they're too old and minecraft viewers are 7 years old. Um...dear... that's the perfect audience for you
3. Says there's a photo shoot but ends up being a surprise party - 10 seconds later is talking about a photoshoot...
4. Leaves in a clip of him getting recognized cause hes SOOOOO famous
5. Buys ANOTHER pool
6. Is there tv ever not on?
7. Shocking... zoe doesnt want to leave the car
8. Got to get that Nandos name drop in
9. They're so edgy and cool! They swear and talk about shitting!
10. Privileged millionaires are confused why their ads don't do as well as a non-ad. All while not putting #ad on the screen while talking about Mini...
11. Pissed away HEAPS of water on another pool. But don't worry. He uses a paper straw.
12. Every "conversation" they have, all they do is talk about themselves. "I DO THIS" "WELL I DO THIS" "I DO THIS AND THIS"
13. Poor little millionaires get SUPER defensive over people not liking their fake as fuck ads which they get 100s of 1000s of pounds.
14. "It's how people make their money" - Boo Hoo people don't like the ad you got paid 50,000 pounds for. I'm sure your livelihood is super threatened.
15. Says it's scary and dangerous to not declare ads. Brah...have you seen LITCHERALLY ALL OF YOUR ADS WHERE YOU HIDE OR DON'T DECLARE
16. Shocking, dinner in bed. So. Gross.
17. Jesus these two are SO out of touch with reality. I fucking can't...Can JackMatte make a reaction to this video? PLEASE!

 

[cuzisayso]

Ok sorry I need to rant....

So he is begging his fans to tell him what he should start collecting

He is literally running out of ideas to spend his money O _o

He mentions back in the day he would collect Pokémon cards etc. and he wants to start collecting something again to get that “high” of opening that package

Mate.. you spend too much money, it doesn’t mean anything to you anymore, nothing is giving you that “high” because you buy at least 5 things EVERY SINGLE DAY

Most of us still get all happy when we buy that new skirt, or really beautiful lipstick, or when we splurge on a laptop or that cute pair of shoes

You don’t experience that anymore cause you have a shopping addiction!!!
And it shows, by you having to even ask your followers what you need to be collecting :s

People liked Pokémon, so when the cards came out people wanted to collect them.. that’s the order it goes in....!!!

You don’t even have anything that you like (whether it be coins, stamps, figurines, rare stones, movie memorabilia etc.) like there is no drive or passion in why you want to collect that specific thing in the first place :/

It is just all about the high of buying it and opening it up and get that rush.. < literally from the horse’s mouth (no pun intended, or maybe a little)

The day has come ... i think he finally reached a point where he bought everything he could possible buy...
Maybe you should stop fucking buying stuff to fulfill yourself and go get that “rush” in actual life experiences!!! go diving in Australia, go climb a real mountain or travel through Europe for an entire summer, go to California and go surfing I mean idk.. do something to give you that high other than buying things!!!
He is 25 and this is the “man” he turned into, this is alfie grown up.. what a sad SAD existence

I would love for him to loose all his money
I don’t even think he knows how to function in a world where he couldn’t just buy 10 things on amazon daily.. I don’t even know what kind of person he would be because spending money and showing off all the latest fads is literally all he is.. he’s a gimmick.

Go develop yourself some more little boy!!!
Grow a personality!!!
And maybe.. just maybe.. you find something you actually like to do and wanna do more off and collect those experiences.

Stop buying everything from skate-ramps to quad bikes to slack lines etc. it’s not you! You make other people drive bikes around your yard cause you’re scared to go over a tiny ramp.. you film other people skating on you’re ramp because you are not a skater!!! He doesn’t get any rush in life cause he constantly lives it for views.. only views.
He thinks of new personalities to be every month
And non of it sticks because he doesn’t have a passion for shit.
He is such an empty shell of a human being!!!

Remember just a few weeks ago he was away,I think it was for his moms birthday, and sean, alfie and his dad bought these (I think Pokémon) books in the shop, with a couple of packages of cards.. nothing special.. alfie filmed himself going right back to the shop a few hours later not just for a couple more packages but actually grabbing multiple cardboard boxes from the shelves filled with cards.. just so he could rush back to the cottage to fill up his book ASAP!!! He doesn’t have the patience to collect something!! He needs to NOW -_-

So let one of your followers tell you what to collect.. spend thousand of pounds on it within 1 week to collect all there is to collect of that specific thing and it’s gonna never be mentioned ever again.
Just like everything else.

 

[Switchstreetz]

Whenever he does this, I feel like he has been photoshopped in.

I know what you mean.

 

[jammy]

His goofy face when running
Say what you like about this twat, he does put a smile on your face... (for all the wrong reasons).

 

[jammy]

If he had smaller teeth he might be more aerodynamic and shave another second off his time. Just like if he wore the right shoes, ran 100m instead of 110. Ran on a better track.

He’ll be doing sub 8 seconds before we know it and that’s with no training whatsoever.

His teeth cross the finish line 5 secs before the rest of him does.

 

[GossWhore]

What Alfie thinks he will look like on his motorbike VS What he will actually like

 

[Youtubegossip]

Super sick in-depth interview with the ceo of YouTube. And he’s fucked it up and lost the footage

You had one fucking job Alfie.

Don’t you all worry though. Year of content.

I’m dead.

 

[Albert_Chris]

 

[cuzisayso]

He. Is. A. Joke.

 

[Youtubegossip]

He actually said

‘Don’t get me wrong I still use plastic OCCASIONALLY’ is he actually that unaware of his wastage. He’s constantly getting coffees out with plastic lids. Constantly eating take away food in containers. Constantly buying shit like the pool. Buys fast fashion. Literally never seems to have a coat or shorts etc and has buy new ones. Drives a Range Rover to the shop.

He’s the most un eco friendly person ever

 

[Oohthedrama]

I feel like the UK have sent a stuck up school kid to interview the headmaster when they really should have sent Mr Brown the maths teacher instead.

I do hope susan whaatsherface returns to the USA and says “lads, let shut this shit down, I’ve just met the biggest tosser who’s making a fortune from this platform from doing fuck all”

 

[Kimbo]

Why does he call it a fanny pack anyway? That’s American, we call them bumbags.

He never seems to take it off, seemed especially weird when he was trying to do his seatbelt up over it. What does he keep in the mystery bag that means it can never be taken off ha

Spare teeth.

 

[RandomWatcher]

Finally watched Alfie's interview... hoooooboy. Kid be here interrupting the ceo, implying he has insider information and threatening to leave because he 'doesnt want to be a part of this kind of platform'... And I reckon she 100% saw through it with her response about the difference between harassment and criticism. And yet he continues telling her what she 'can and can't do' with the platform. So she's trying to placate him to get him to drop the subject, "I understand I understand, but we have to be careful'.
"So this year? HAHAHA."
He's also saying stuff like 'why disable the comments on all family channels, just kick the bad ones off'. It just screams of ignorance. He doesn't understand at all why they can't just do what he believes to be the correct thing. And he fancies himself a businessman!
"Whats the point of the dislike button?" He keeps on until she literally sighs at his question. Just Alfiestotle trying to sound deeper than he is.

 

[Youtubegossip]

This reminds me of last year when people were making those twitter accounts of things that he “loved” that went missing aka he didn’t pay any attention to anymore
I believe the pool had his own account
And the ping pong table.. oh oh and the tent!!!!
And at one point the accounts were communicating with each other about how sad they were and how they were starting to mold and wondered when alfie would come by lolololol
We need a new twitter account for the “lost 90 day challenge evidence” :’)

We need to know
Where are:
The piano
Slackline
Kayak
90dayresults
Skateramp
Wooded area he bought
Easter video from 3 years ago
Zalfie sims he said they’d filmed

The rest of a club 3

Thanks Alf

 

[Otis94]

Oh my gawd....so we’ve reached this level have we.

“It’s interesting... it’s so interesting.. it’s so interesting isn’t it”
Zoe in the background spitting fire while pretending to be all fine and breezy about the conversation is my favourite
View attachment 29979

Maybe his fans would support the ads if they knew the money was being put back into something that benefits them, but he literally makes the most lacklustre "content". Zoe bleating on about how sponsored posts are a main source of income for influencers so their followers should support them, seriously made me so annoyed, these twats literally don't need the money whatsoever, its just absolute greed, the property Alfie owns and rents out would probably be quite a comfortable income for an average person. The amount of genuinely inspiring things you could do with the amount of money they have, even just on a creative level. The amount of genuinely talented photographers/videographers that struggle to create to the best of their ability because they can't afford the equipment and he just wastes it all making shitty vlogs, that are genuinely so self involved its like watching someone have a very public wank.

 

[Youtubegossip]

The Twatest Twat

Toothiest twat in twatville

 

[Alightened]

Oooo look Sean, a drain. Yes Alfie, a drain, just like you

 

[CheeseToastie]

The reason why no one gives a shit about his sponsored posts, is because he is so out of touch with his viewers. The 65" LG Nanocell is nearly £1,200. That ridiculous bluetooth speaker is nearly £140 (down from £200 at the moment, what a steal). Absolutely grates me the stuff these people get for free, show a little bit on social media and then probably box it back up, and they then expect their viewers who are probably working 9-5's and slogging their nuts off trying to get by in life, to go running out and pay full price for them. If anything, if something is sponsored it makes me even less likely to want to go out and buy it in all honesty.

 

[NitrousOxide]

Odds on he starts banging on about sustainability, not using single use plastic carrier bags, inevitably mentions his reusable straw, but still orders takeaway in plastic containers or shows some other wasteful behaviour in his next vlog.

Everyone knows that straws take thousands of years to decompose; Amazon packaging and giant paddling pools, however, only take ~deyes~