Kirsty1234
Chatty Member
I’m glad someone said it!!
- Notice
tippingpoint
VIP Member
Bathroom locked, lentil slop, favouritism has to stop 
Macmama
VIP Member
I very nearly commented today on Pea’s post, but it’s going here instead, sorry in advance 
Not long after our youngest was home, my (then) three year old boy started nursery. We had stopped breastfeeding entirely during my pregnancy as I was totally touched out (my two year old by that point had been off the boobs for a while and was probably on to margaritas, knowing her
). He was really unsettled with starting nursery and although he loved the baby, he was clearly upset at having to share us with someone very demanding. He asked to nurse at night, purely out of habit and comfort. We had a discussion about how his little brother fed because he had no other way of eating, and because he was too small to be comforted any other way. That he wasn’t doing it to stop us being with his siblings, but because he was small and new and needed us all to look after him. That he was very early, and needed to do lots of growing and therefore needed my milk. We talked about how our eldest must have felt the same when he came home as a baby, and all the things we liked to do together, that the baby couldn’t do. Instead of nursing, we made hot milk and honey, and had a cuddle and read a book together. He didn’t ask again, and has always enjoyed his bedtime routine since.
Raven is feeding because it is a comfort to her, and a way to connect with her mum. Nutrition aside, it’s clear she’s looking for connection. She’s put out by the new baby as all older siblings are. It’s Pea’s responsibility to teach Raven how to connect and comfort herself as she grows, and as her relationships develop with her.
I’m sure Pea would say I’ve psychologically damaged my son and ruined his attachment but I’ll take my chances. She is heading for a burn out for herself, and a lot of issues for Raven - she needs to address her own mental health, and then tackle Raven’s behaviour.
Not long after our youngest was home, my (then) three year old boy started nursery. We had stopped breastfeeding entirely during my pregnancy as I was totally touched out (my two year old by that point had been off the boobs for a while and was probably on to margaritas, knowing her
). He was really unsettled with starting nursery and although he loved the baby, he was clearly upset at having to share us with someone very demanding. He asked to nurse at night, purely out of habit and comfort. We had a discussion about how his little brother fed because he had no other way of eating, and because he was too small to be comforted any other way. That he wasn’t doing it to stop us being with his siblings, but because he was small and new and needed us all to look after him. That he was very early, and needed to do lots of growing and therefore needed my milk. We talked about how our eldest must have felt the same when he came home as a baby, and all the things we liked to do together, that the baby couldn’t do. Instead of nursing, we made hot milk and honey, and had a cuddle and read a book together. He didn’t ask again, and has always enjoyed his bedtime routine since.Raven is feeding because it is a comfort to her, and a way to connect with her mum. Nutrition aside, it’s clear she’s looking for connection. She’s put out by the new baby as all older siblings are. It’s Pea’s responsibility to teach Raven how to connect and comfort herself as she grows, and as her relationships develop with her.
I’m sure Pea would say I’ve psychologically damaged my son and ruined his attachment but I’ll take my chances. She is heading for a burn out for herself, and a lot of issues for Raven - she needs to address her own mental health, and then tackle Raven’s behaviour.
TheLastLolo
VIP Member
Hoping she'll end up on the fucking sun and I don't blame him.
TheLastLolo
VIP Member
It's like Ember doesn't exist sometimes. Raven has 3.5 years of breastfeeding, if tandem isn't working, it's Ember's turn now. It's that simple. Jesus. If Raven wants breast milk that much, like others have said, express some. It's not necessary for her to be suckling on her nipples with her 78 black teeth. Yeah it's sad maybe, nothing against extended breastfeeding etc but... No one needs to see it in so much detail for one. She talks about it as sacred time etc but then shares it with whoever wants to see it. There's something so juxtaposed in that for me. Nicola makes breastfeeding uncomfortable for me, not the act itself.
sunchaser19
Active member
On Ember’s very first night home from the hospital she slept slept with Dean and Raven slept with P. Who in their right mind sleeps apart from their newborn baby on their first night at home??
Notice in the video she says “we had no routine with Raven really before”, but in a previous post she said “we had the routine with 1 child nailed” .... well which one is it P?
she has separation anxiety away from Raven, which you can understand after losing Winter, but she needs to stop pretending that it’s Raven with the separation issue and she needs to seek help for it so she can manage it and let R live a normal life. Her words to my friend were “I just can’t upset Raven, I can’t physically do it” when discussing saying no to her! She’s made such a rod for her own back
Notice in the video she says “we had no routine with Raven really before”, but in a previous post she said “we had the routine with 1 child nailed” .... well which one is it P?
she has separation anxiety away from Raven, which you can understand after losing Winter, but she needs to stop pretending that it’s Raven with the separation issue and she needs to seek help for it so she can manage it and let R live a normal life. Her words to my friend were “I just can’t upset Raven, I can’t physically do it” when discussing saying no to her! She’s made such a rod for her own back
Serious_Susan
VIP Member
Flexi schooled - as in one day at school, CBeebies magazine the other four days
sunchaser19
Active member
She’s also homeschooling R from September 4 days a week. She best get making Ember a Harry Potter type cupboard for under the stairs so she doesn’t disturb Raven’s education as well as her sleep and play time
sassmaster3000
Chatty Member
Ahh fuck it I’m just going to say it. She’s raised Raven to be a proper prick. And she’s a prick herself for doing so.
sunchaser19
Active member
On her last grid post where she talks about Ember crying all of the time, someone commented underneath that they put their baby alone in the cot to sleep instead of wearing them in a sling. Pea has replied that she will probably end up doing that too with Ember! Says she didn’t with Ray, but it’s harder this time. So Ember has to sleep alone in the cot at a few months old, but Raven who is nearly 4 can never sleep alone? There are massive massive issues here with favouritism - or whatever it can be described as!
TheLastLolo
VIP Member
A person Raven has to this, has to that. Oh god forbid. What about Raven being a person that Ember once was left screaming for milk for, out of actual hunger not just jealousy? A person who their whole lives revolve around. Ember's very basic needs are met but not much more at all and it's a tragedy. Nicola is seriously ill.
Some of the comments are fucking hideous.
'Compare it to your husband bringing home a new girlfriend and expecting you to get along with them'.
Erm no, because it's not remotely comparable. They are both your children whom you should love and should love each other. It's not the same as being cheated on and expected to get over it. Jesus.
Some of the comments are fucking hideous.
'Compare it to your husband bringing home a new girlfriend and expecting you to get along with them'.
Erm no, because it's not remotely comparable. They are both your children whom you should love and should love each other. It's not the same as being cheated on and expected to get over it. Jesus.
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AfroCircus
Chatty Member
Nah she's still there. Telling parents they need to 'suppport toddlers through strops rather than stopping them'.She doesn’t seem to have posted in the GP Facebook group latelyeither that or our kind source just hasn’t posted the tea! (yes, I’m very nosey
)
She did seem to only post on there when things were tough so I’m pleased if things are starting to get easier for them all. Or I guess she could just be keeping up the pretence that all is rosy!
I wish she’d talk about ember the way she talks about raven. She deserves all that gushing and emotion too. Her favouritism is really blatant.
Anyway yep that’s my two pence for the evening
Can just imagine Raven having a strop and flinging her sensory rice / toys in ice cubes / flower dissection kit at Ember.
Pea: Now Raven, I can see you are having some BIG emotions. I am here to cuddle you. It's not safe to throw things at the baby. Can I redirect you to throw them at Daddy instead? Come on, let's go and get him out of his pen.
Cat_scratches
Active member
I have questions.
I know we all do
Why the hell is she flexi schooling, what is the actual point of one day a week? If you're gonna home school, bloody home school. (unless of course you have a job which prevents you doing it full time. I'm not sure 7 minutes work a week counts)
Why did she have another child? Just why? She presents Ember as nothing but an inconvenience - something that gets in the way of her and raven.
It's making me sick.
I feel. So so much for that little girl - I want to scoop her up and love her.
Ive just found out this week that I have to have a hysterectomy at 37 and I'm surrounded by people who keep popping out kids they don't give two shits about.
Its driving me insane
I know we all do
Why the hell is she flexi schooling, what is the actual point of one day a week? If you're gonna home school, bloody home school. (unless of course you have a job which prevents you doing it full time. I'm not sure 7 minutes work a week counts)
Why did she have another child? Just why? She presents Ember as nothing but an inconvenience - something that gets in the way of her and raven.
It's making me sick.
I feel. So so much for that little girl - I want to scoop her up and love her.
Ive just found out this week that I have to have a hysterectomy at 37 and I'm surrounded by people who keep popping out kids they don't give two shits about.
Its driving me insane
I cannot get away from how absolutely pathetic she sounds 'please be gentle with me...' you have the answers Nicola, you just do not want to accept them because they don't fit in with your very narrow minded parenting ideal. For a group that are so free thinking and radical, they sure have a lot of issues with being flexible and 'go with the flow'. You're setting your children up to have zero resilience in a world that is going to eat them alive because you have failed to prepare them for it.
If you believe *that much* in your chosen parenting style, why do you question absolutely everything you do in relation relation your kids? Just admit it hasn't worked out the way you idealised it in your head and move on and do what is right for you and your family and not worry what crunchy mums will say on the Internet. Pathetic.
If you believe *that much* in your chosen parenting style, why do you question absolutely everything you do in relation relation your kids? Just admit it hasn't worked out the way you idealised it in your head and move on and do what is right for you and your family and not worry what crunchy mums will say on the Internet. Pathetic.
Macmama
VIP Member
Out of all my years of breastfeeding, there are zero pictures of me feeding that are shared anywhere. I have a few photos for my own keeping, but have never thought they were something to share. They are lovely photographs - I’ve got a particularly nice one I love of me tandem feeding (hi Nicola
) that my husband took, and I feel particularly proud/emotional when I see it, but they are intimate, private photographs. I don’t think any of my children want to grow up seeing that on Facebook. I don’t think anyone else wants to see it either.It has absolutely nothing to do with supporting breastfeeding. Go out and join a peer support group if you want to do something useful to support it.
justfortonight
Chatty Member
That latest caption about keeping Ember away from Raven while she’s crying so she doesn’t interrupt her play.
Give. Me. Strength.
Heaven forbid your 2 month old who can literally only communicate through crying gets in the way of you filming Raven cut out 8 billion bits of paper.
Her priorities are very strange.
Give. Me. Strength.
Heaven forbid your 2 month old who can literally only communicate through crying gets in the way of you filming Raven cut out 8 billion bits of paper.
Her priorities are very strange.
tippingpoint
VIP Member
I’ve been mulling over the whole jealousy / grief thing.
Jealousy is a normal emotion. Envy is too, the more palatable version of jealousy. It presents in humans their whole life! In so many different situations! Things that spark jealousy in me might not in others. Things that used to make me jealous no longer do. That’s life.
I got jealous recently when the woman covering my mat leave was tagged in work place related memes on Insta by my friends and I wasn’t. I am not ashamed to admit I got jealous. I was jealous my friends were treating her how they would treat me if I was still at work. I was jealous when I looked on her profile that she was prettier than me. That’s all silly stuff but stuff I won’t apologise for because I felt it.
Is it wrong to recognise R may be jealous and help her work through those emotions? Because she’s gonna get jealous again! At some point she will. There might be a more crunchy kid at school who is more creative than her. When she’s a teenager a peer might get a pair of shoes she really wants but R’s parents said no. When she’s out in the world working her boss might be kinder to her colleague than she is to her for no apparent reason.
She’s allowed to be jealous. Why spin it into grief?! A little person has come and taken some of the attention from her. That has to sting. It stings for all us in different situations!
Jealousy is a normal emotion. Envy is too, the more palatable version of jealousy. It presents in humans their whole life! In so many different situations! Things that spark jealousy in me might not in others. Things that used to make me jealous no longer do. That’s life.
I got jealous recently when the woman covering my mat leave was tagged in work place related memes on Insta by my friends and I wasn’t. I am not ashamed to admit I got jealous. I was jealous my friends were treating her how they would treat me if I was still at work. I was jealous when I looked on her profile that she was prettier than me. That’s all silly stuff but stuff I won’t apologise for because I felt it.
Is it wrong to recognise R may be jealous and help her work through those emotions? Because she’s gonna get jealous again! At some point she will. There might be a more crunchy kid at school who is more creative than her. When she’s a teenager a peer might get a pair of shoes she really wants but R’s parents said no. When she’s out in the world working her boss might be kinder to her colleague than she is to her for no apparent reason.
She’s allowed to be jealous. Why spin it into grief?! A little person has come and taken some of the attention from her. That has to sting. It stings for all us in different situations!
FraggleRock
VIP Member
I’m sorry, but am I the only one that thinks the bit about Embers crying triggering Raven is not normal, a baby crying should not be a cause of an older siblings aggressive behaviour! I really think she needs to see someone about Ravens behaviour, that does not sit right with me at all!
TheLastLolo
VIP Member
'a screaming baby'
YOUR baby, Nicola. Not just any baby.
If that was Raven, she'd be banging on about big emotions, how much the world has changed during covid times and how anxious it's made her, how all she needs is to know mummy is there... Fuck off.
YOUR baby, Nicola. Not just any baby.
If that was Raven, she'd be banging on about big emotions, how much the world has changed during covid times and how anxious it's made her, how all she needs is to know mummy is there... Fuck off.
i know, she’s doin a fukin cbeebies magazine not in the middle of a gcse exam
