Niomi Smart #6 it’s smoothie bowl weather but they’re not together, feel new tea was the end of Joe’s tether

[MarinaScorpio]

Someone left this comment under her new Vlog

 

[easttowest]

As I mentioned a while back, I got engaged the same day as Niomi and my fiancé left me end of July. So speaking from extremely comparable circumstances, I am offended by her approach to this!! Time really is a healer? Girl it has been 5 minutes!! It could really make people question themselves for taking a while to recover from a break up to hear that nonsense!! If she really is healed already, it can only be because she never truly loved him in the first place. No one ends an engagement after a 4 year relationship and is "healed" 6 bloody weeks later.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to eat a tub of ice cream and have a cry...

 

[Pundertaker]

No one knows what happened to Martha moo! Jim's girlfriend said something to indicate Tanya did something. But any questions asking about the dog just get deleted from Tanya or Jim's comments

It's all part of Jim's master plan to reinvent himself as an author of children's books, a la Tom Fletcher. His first cutesy title, complete with pastel illustrations: Where's Martha Moo?

Is she at the park? No!
Is she at the beach? No!
Is she under the bed? No!
Is she under Tanya's patio? Lift the flap to find out...

 

[Jackie Daytona]

Except she’s not princess diana and anyone who can take a bite of a raw unripened cucumber and look straight at the camera and say, “delicious” is a psychopath that can move on from a long term relationship without emotions.

 

[Oohthedrama]

Also... didn’t it take her FOREVER to tell her peeps when her and Markus broke up?! I remember thinking... come on already it’s been months.

you called.....
for anyone who fancied joe, could he pull of orthopaedic shoes and a hand cramp like Marcus Butler...

Off topic = yes
Necessary = absolutely.

 

[Sol]

Their relationships in a nutshell

 

[MillyMollyMandy1]

She's probably one of those people who doesn't sweat very much. (I dated someone like that once. He also didn't smell much or taste of anything. Weird but fascinating!)

It wasn’t Prince Andrew , was it ?

 

[mg95]

Is anyone else slightly weirded out by their fascination with India. I’m sorry I think it’s really weird. They are basically exoticising the country with their herbal teas, yoga trips etc. Niomi didn’t once show the realities of India - extreme poverty. As a white pretty woman she would have literally been stared at by disgusting men - some may even have tried to touch her. For a woman it isn’t that safe - yes she is foreign but still. I might be being too harsh but it’s not just her - Joe too! Grrrrrrrrrr

I really don’t think many people would have enjoyed content from a british white woman in india remarking about how disgusting the slums and the men are. That would have been extremely out of line. She also frequently showed herself in cabs alone and going out and about into the city. I know India has problems but it’s also very modern in many other ways. She lived the way most ex-pats and wealthy indians do over there. Not sure how she would’ve authentically or sensitively addressed poverty and sexual assault... especially given the length of time she was there.

 

[Roo89]

*Update* just seen joe coming out of st Clements in fulham, he then got on his bike, he is still in the UK

 

[CheshireLove]

This thread has made me so paranoid about my diet! I always thought nut butters were ok, albeit calorific and they do have fat but like good fat, I thought? No?! Niomi clearly sees it as some kind of gateway food.

First you start on peanut butter, you think you can handle it, then you’re onto the harder stuff, cashew, hazelnut, almond...Before you know it you’re knee deep in a 1KG tub of Nutella and there’s no going back.

(But seriously, enjoy nut butters. Niomi is so disorganised in her eating she probably feels guilty even thinking about nut butter)

 

[Nina2312]

I can't believe that video made 800 views I think I found a new career path

 

[curiouscat321]

Tooright comments are absolutely spot on. I think we are all forgetting he has completely played her for a fool. My ex broke up with me over the phone, after spending a whole week together with him pronouncing his 'endless' love and dedication to me. Taking me on romantic dates, presents etc. That relationships wasn't even as half as long as Niomi's or I would say 'deep' and it took me over a year to get over. I went through all the phases of a break up and back again. However, annoying Niomi may be to some people, I think Joe did her wrong. Men get away with so much, if she had done the same she would be vilified. It wouldn't shock me if he is in a relationship by christmas, these men move on before you have even deleted all the pictures of them on your phone.

 

[CheshireLove]

smoothie bowl weather

She should not be giving anyone dietry or health advice.

"It's so chocolatey you wouldn't know it was healthy."
"It's especially good after a workout."
"Healthy chocolate smoothie."

What is so healthy about this? Seriously? A banana, a single fucking date, oat milk, raw cacao powder, the tiniest amount of peanut butter and spinach.

FFS. Eat the banana - you don't have to bloody drink it. Banana's alone are great after a workout. They're cheap, portable and replace the energy you've lost. A banana alone is enough - you don't need to make a smoothie!!! A radical idea but chew your food and don't bloody drink everything.

"You should have everything at home". PISS OFF. Yeah, I'll just check my cupboards for a single medjool date and raw cacao powder shall I. I picked them up when I did my Tesco shop because I've got all the money in the world to piss up the wall on fucking medjool dates.

(sorry not sorry)

 

[BigQueenEnergy]

Does anyone else find her positivity absolutely nauseating? I rolled my eyes so much during her latest vid, I think I sprained an eye muscle.

It's much better to be a realist, IMO. Too much optimism leads to disappointment and delusion. All this fake positivity makes me gag. Sometimes, life just fucking sucks. Feel it, throw some shit, scream into a pillow. Fuck buying 50 journals in every pastel color under the sun.

 

[Yel]

Thread title by @judgejohndeed

I'm not sure much happened on the last thread other than some good videos and pics.

Niomi posted bikini photos and burnt some paper

Let's not argue with each other over folic acid

 

[ciramhn]

One of the most common phrases used amongst us all here since this whole “Nooo Joeeeey, Smoothie Bowl Weatha, Smoothie Bowl Weatha, Smoothie Bowl Weathaaaaaa” thing kicked off is probably “SHE CAN FUCK OFF!”

I love being part of this community! I know that there’s a lot of people who say that we’re all “crazy middle aged, maniacs with no life” (I’m a v under-ripe 25 year I’ll have you know) but when you take part in a discussion you realise that everyone has something nice and constructive to say on the topic and if someone oversteps the line, people will jump in to tell them to chill f out and cop on.

You all make this a lovely place to be! I actually feel like I’m having a chat with a bunch of friends about something nobody in my life understands on this level. It’s refreshing to just let rip on the things that annoy you after working all day

 

[calmyafarm]

Saw this and thought of our girl

 

[shufty]

Is it just me or how can Niomi "hide" peanut butter from Joe in his own kitchen? They are sitting in a cupboard. Even if she moved jars and didn't tell him, when he can't find it does he just shrug and think "oh well, the magic peanut butter vacuum strikes again! Better buy some more". Is he incapable of looking around or better yet asking where the hell is my peanut butter???

I think she 100% has complex issues around food but that clip says more that her and Joe literally did not communicate at all about the simplest of things and so when the big things like India/wedding/lifestyle came up after their engagement the relationship just imploded.

 

[janedowe]

Just rewatching the moving to India vlog. So eye opening now!
Anyhow, the bit I’m watching is fascinating. She pulls all this ‘sustainable’ stuff out of her cupboards and tries to sell us the fact she uses it all the time. Nope Niomi, you’ve just found it all unused. Your foil is unopened, your beeswax wrap is unused and still in mint condition (‘I don’t know how long these last’ - you would know this if you’ve used it for more than five minutes) the sandwich wrap surprises her when it falls open (yep, that’s how it works!) and her bamboo straws are still tied in ribbon (and Joe doesn’t recognise what they are). Fuck off with your ‘sustainability’ bullshit. Reminds me of the time she posted a pic on stories to celebrate world earth day - with a disposable coffee cup in hand!!!!

 

[Catie miller]

I am nearly 28 & just going through a 7 year break up. Come on guys don’t tell me I’m too old it’s really depressing to hear!