Mrs Hinch #516

[Sausage90]

Winning title by no one. Because you nusty trolls couldn't even be bothered to suggest any! Thread titles taken from page 30 onwards and can't have swears.

The Hinch Herald
Woman goes on spending splurge and "loves it".
Sophie Rose, 32, of Maldon spent her Sunday afternoon shopping for unnecessary land fill items and cleaning products at Home Bargains. Local chemist, Aspi Rin, said, "She's got more chemicals under her sink than I have in my shop. Sometimes when I'm short, I ask her for various bits, and she always obliges and gives me half empty bottles in unmarked containers to take away. She's very charitable and also donates to the food bank regularly when she can find it". Recycling Manager, Skippy Tipper said, "She keeps me and the lads in a job. She's always bringing her kids for a day out here and treating us to a sing song while she's parked up with Lon in the back, forward-facing in his car seat. We're double busy now she's bought The Crem and it's being renovated".

In other news, multi millionaire Mrs Hinch asked the peasants what colour carpet should she choose for her five bed, £1.1million mansion (funded by said peasants and still one bedroom less than her best bubs Stacey Solomon's house) after a 'tend flood ruined her old ones. Beige or beiger were the options, leaving viewers confused and wondering if they've had a sepia filter burnt into their retinas.

Tuesday became a brag fest after Sophie asked her shoppers what parts of her new mansion they would like to see. After she got no replies/obscenities sent to her, she compiled her own list of gushing messages so she could brag all the more. Photos followed of half finished rooms and nothing complete, so god only knows why she suggested a house tour. Anyone would think it's just to have a brag about her house that's not a farm house. The boot room made an appearance after Tattle said it had probably fallen to bits. "It's mah fa-vor-rit room, Dad and I made it togevahhh", (sic) Sophie squealed with delight.

Crimestoppers
MISSING - Father James, last seen wearing prison greys and shouting "Oi, Oi", randomly at anyone who would listen at soft play.

Vandalism - Three youths described as having a 'woolly' appearance are wanted after being seen damaging the lawns at the local Crem.

Classified #ads
Thread #500
A special thread dedicated to all the lies and bullshit Mrs Hinch has said over the years.

The Wiki
The pink button (top right) contains all information on nicknames, sayings etc and the reasoning behind them. If you're new/have had time away - please take a look. You won't be disappointed.

Art Exhibition
The Tattle art exhibition usually takes place at the beginning of each thread and/or when Mrs Hinch does/says something ridiculous. Ms @Andioooop has compiled a list of previous collectsshhuns somewhere on the Wiki.

For Sale
Dining table and chairs for sale. Unwanted gift so selling on. Please contact [email protected] for any viewing enquiries.

Letters to the Editor
Freda FF - Sophie Rose hasn't had any work done thank you very much.

Helena Hunz - Please remember to always be kond xoxo.

Lonely Hearts
JH - Seeking an older female companion to enjoy leisurely swims with.

Tesco Tomato - I'm looking for new friends to keep me company at my allotment. Must like giant flowers that spin in the wind, garden ornaments and other tat.

 

[Andioooop]

View attachment 1081560Just going to casually leave this here… for no reason whatsoever…. However if @Andioooop was to see it, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world….

Lmao

 

[Fluffy20]

So at 8pm on a Tuesday night Sopha was apparently sat in the shed at “Hinch notafarm” in the dark, tucking the alpacas into bed. Aah, bless ‘er ‘art.
Although, presumably this is past bedtime for Lon & Ron and as neither of her human boys have a bed at the new gaff they must both be tucked up at Castle Greyskull.
Not a problem, Hinch has told us on numerous occasions that they take turns staying at the new house so tonight Jamie is at the old place with the children and Sophie is at the mansion farm new house. That explains it. Except ……… who is there filming Soph sat in the shed, in the dark, putting the alpacas to bed?
We all know that Soph couldn’t possibly be left in the big empty house overnight all on her own, I mean, she’s only 32! So does that mean that poor old Mum & Dad have been stuck babysitting the grandkids or babysitting Soph?
And if Freda Yahoo is staying at the house with Hinch where is she sleeping when there’s only one double bed in the whole property?
So many questions!!

 

[SRD]

Best. Recap. EVER!

 

[or JusRollWithIt]

Is there a downstairs toilet in that house or do visitors have to use one of the many ensuites upstairs. What she going to do , or should I say what is Fiddle and Jamie Montessori going to do when the boys need to be potty trained. That's some workout running up and down...to get it the loo or potty. No way will she use the utility to keep a potty in..

From today’s grid post of madam on the stairs, there seems to be a “cloak room” just to the right of the stairs on the main level.

 

[Tatuler]

So at 8pm on a Tuesday night Sopha was apparently sat in the shed at “Hinch notafarm” in the dark, tucking the alpacas into bed. Aah, bless ‘er ‘art.
Although, presumably this is past bedtime for Lon & Ron and as neither of her human boys have a bed at the new gaff they must both be tucked up at Castle Greyskull.
Not a problem, Hinch has told us on numerous occasions that they take turns staying at the new house so tonight Jamie is at the old place with the children and Sophie is at the mansion farm new house. That explains it. Except ……… who is there filming Soph sat in the shed, in the dark, putting the alpacas to bed?
We all know that Soph couldn’t possibly be left in the big empty house overnight all on her own, I mean, she’s only 32! So does that mean that poor old Mum & Dad have been stuck babysitting the grandkids or babysitting Soph?
And if Freda Yahoo is staying at the house with Hinch where is she sleeping when there’s only one double bed in the whole property?
So many questions!!

Jamie and Freda share the double bed, whilst Soph sleeps in the alpaca shed.

^Is it too early for a thread title?

 

[ethelworks]

I have no words….

 

[Andioooop]

Cinderella would never have size 5 footz

I’ll have you know hunnay there is a glass slipper big enough for our Soph in Taiwan

 

[Wize Owl]

Oh my days.... the huns have seriously lost it

WHY? Why would anyone want a perfume bottle of Henners breath?

 

[Hadenoughofitall]

When she says 'coffee table and books' are going in here she means her own shit books in the glass table I presume?

 

[Crispmonster]

Don't know if this had been posted about. But even mumsnet have said they aren't keen on her.

I remember when she first started and I wrote a thread on mumsnet about her saying I didn't know what the excitement was about her. It blew up and apparently she ended up commenting on the thread herself don't know if that's true though.

They are a such a lovely family. So Kond!!

 

[Anotherwantsamoan]

Saw this and had to run here to post it

 

[mingeandbracket]

Your brows on holiday or something Soph?

 

[Sausage90]

I thought one of the woolly wankers had died of boredom then.

 

[Upthisweek]

A work colleague spotted them all in Lakeside earlier, in tracksuits with lots of bags. She apparently had big sunglasses and a mask on trying to look like a tend celeb.

 

[woopdeewoop]

I’m following that Irish guy on insta - I think he’s hilarious !
He’s done a purge of his insta followers and posted this … something Hinch will never ever do !

 

[123andbreathe]

Saw this requesting planning permission and wondered if it was for Hinch farm. Maybe Jamie’s new job

 

[HinchesSousChef]

I don’t think that was the first time he’s crawled. But she’s shrieking to make it seem like it is. Her “mummm” is pathetic. Ma ma is prob sat there thinking he’s been crawling for months Soph he’s one but you’re never here so you don’t see.
Interesting that she’s posted this after we said she doesn’t acknowledge his milestones on her account.

 

[hinch123]

Stacey’s sly dig at hinch saying she doesn’t want to rush the cottage while hinch is

 

[☆MagicRoundabout☆]