Mrs Hinch #516

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Winning title by no one. Because you nusty trolls couldn't even be bothered to suggest any! Thread titles taken from page 30 onwards and can't have swears.

The Hinch Herald
Woman goes on spending splurge and "loves it".
Sophie Rose, 32, of Maldon spent her Sunday afternoon shopping for unnecessary land fill items and cleaning products at Home Bargains. Local chemist, Aspi Rin, said, "She's got more chemicals under her sink than I have in my shop. Sometimes when I'm short, I ask her for various bits, and she always obliges and gives me half empty bottles in unmarked containers to take away. She's very charitable and also donates to the food bank regularly when she can find it". Recycling Manager, Skippy Tipper said, "She keeps me and the lads in a job. She's always bringing her kids for a day out here and treating us to a sing song while she's parked up with Lon in the back, forward-facing in his car seat. We're double busy now she's bought The Crem and it's being renovated".

In other news, multi millionaire Mrs Hinch asked the peasants what colour carpet should she choose for her five bed, £1.1million mansion (funded by said peasants and still one bedroom less than her best bubs Stacey Solomon's house) after a 'tend flood ruined her old ones. Beige or beiger were the options, leaving viewers confused and wondering if they've had a sepia filter burnt into their retinas.

Tuesday became a brag fest after Sophie asked her shoppers what parts of her new mansion they would like to see. After she got no replies/obscenities sent to her, she compiled her own list of gushing messages so she could brag all the more. Photos followed of half finished rooms and nothing complete, so god only knows why she suggested a house tour. Anyone would think it's just to have a brag about her house that's not a farm house. The boot room made an appearance after Tattle said it had probably fallen to bits. "It's mah fa-vor-rit room, Dad and I made it togevahhh", (sic) Sophie squealed with delight.

Crimestoppers
MISSING - Father James, last seen wearing prison greys and shouting "Oi, Oi", randomly at anyone who would listen at soft play.

Vandalism - Three youths described as having a 'woolly' appearance are wanted after being seen damaging the lawns at the local Crem.

Classified #ads
Thread #500
A special thread dedicated to all the lies and bullshit Mrs Hinch has said over the years.

The Wiki
The pink button (top right) contains all information on nicknames, sayings etc and the reasoning behind them. If you're new/have had time away - please take a look. You won't be disappointed.

Art Exhibition
The Tattle art exhibition usually takes place at the beginning of each thread and/or when Mrs Hinch does/says something ridiculous. Ms @Andioooop has compiled a list of previous collectsshhuns somewhere on the Wiki.

For Sale
Dining table and chairs for sale. Unwanted gift so selling on. Please contact [email protected] for any viewing enquiries.

Letters to the Editor
Freda FF - Sophie Rose hasn't had any work done thank you very much.

Helena Hunz - Please remember to always be kond xoxo.

Lonely Hearts
JH - Seeking an older female companion to enjoy leisurely swims with.

Tesco Tomato - I'm looking for new friends to keep me company at my allotment. Must like giant flowers that spin in the wind, garden ornaments and other tat.
 

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Saw this requesting planning permission and wondered if it was for Hinch farm. Maybe Jamie’s new job 🧐🧐
 
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If her feet are size 5s then I’m the Queen…

ETA - that tracksuit will be walking to the washing machine if she gets another days wear out of it 🤢🤢
 
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🤣🤣🤣🤣go on stace! Biggest troll ever.

The last few weeks I’ve been liking how honest she’s being about her house Reno. Unlike Slopha who is making out like EVERYTHING is done NOW and she doesn’t need planning permission.
 
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thank you to the fat hen who pointed me in the right direction on the mhmmdi arguments, not all hero's wear capes 💛
 
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So at 8pm on a Tuesday night Sopha was apparently sat in the shed at “Hinch notafarm” in the dark, tucking the alpacas into bed. Aah, bless ‘er ‘art.
Although, presumably this is past bedtime for Lon & Ron and as neither of her human boys have a bed at the new gaff they must both be tucked up at Castle Greyskull.
Not a problem, Hinch has told us on numerous occasions that they take turns staying at the new house so tonight Jamie is at the old place with the children and Sophie is at the mansion farm new house. That explains it. Except ……… who is there filming Soph sat in the shed, in the dark, putting the alpacas to bed?
We all know that Soph couldn’t possibly be left in the big empty house overnight all on her own, I mean, she’s only 32! So does that mean that poor old Mum & Dad have been stuck babysitting the grandkids or babysitting Soph?
And if Freda Yahoo is staying at the house with Hinch where is she sleeping when there’s only one double bed in the whole property?
So many questions!!
 
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So at 8pm on a Tuesday night Sopha was apparently sat in the shed at “Hinch notafarm” in the dark, tucking the alpacas into bed. Aah, bless ‘er ‘art.
Although, presumably this is past bedtime for Lon & Ron and as neither of her human boys have a bed at the new gaff they must both be tucked up at Castle Greyskull.
Not a problem, Hinch has told us on numerous occasions that they take turns staying at the new house so tonight Jamie is at the old place with the children and Sophie is at the mansion farm new house. That explains it. Except ……… who is there filming Soph sat in the shed, in the dark, putting the alpacas to bed?
We all know that Soph couldn’t possibly be left in the big empty house overnight all on her own, I mean, she’s only 32! So does that mean that poor old Mum & Dad have been stuck babysitting the grandkids or babysitting Soph?
And if Freda Yahoo is staying at the house with Hinch where is she sleeping when there’s only one double bed in the whole property?
So many questions!!
Easy answer - Freda has the boys like she does every day xx hope that helps xx
 
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What a recap. 😂 Between that and the prevailing wind comment above, this thread with no title is *chef's kiss*.
 
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I need a favour please. Can anyone find the gate to the ssssshhhcret garden before and after please?
 
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