Lydia Millen #30 Greenhouse tightwad, Ali's lil' tripod and the comment assassin squad

[Elle Belle]

Hi Demoted Tattlers

I'm back. As you're aware I took a much needed week off. I feel so much better for it. I might start taking a week off every week actually. I told all my followers it was due to compassion fatigue from everything going on in the world right now. It's the negative cost of caring you see. Definitely not the negative cost of Glóby. They're such silly moos, they actually fell for it. I am actually sorry I hurt their feelings though when I called them all stoopy on the last thread. I genuinely already thought they knew they weren't that bright. Anyway, I'm not heartless, I know the pandemic and the BLM movement are important, but these affect lots of people, at least they have each other, like sick people have other sick people and black people have other black people. I only had me after the Glóby global fiasco. I know I have my team of Cawwie and New Girl, but there's still a 'me' in team. They're going to have to start doing my thinking as well as my deleting from now on. I was genuinely worried I had permanent brain damage, but Cawwie still says I'm a clever little chicken. She's the best, but now you're all saying I can't even hug my own staff. I pay them not you. Well they'll just have to kneel or bow to me instead.

Nonetheless, my lovely front porch cheered me up no end. I'm sure you can appreciate all of the creativity and innovation that's gone into it. First impressions when you arrive at the manor are very important. Plus Ali kept telling George to smash his back doors in. I had to keep reminding my husband it's all about the front door now. He just wasn't getting it. And I'm sick of all the attention he's getting about his tripod. It wasn't even funny. I wear heels bigger than his dick. Even flats. He keeps going on about the 'birds and the bees' as well. I don't even want a baby, I didn't even want a cat, or a mother. I'm not a meany moo though so I've allowed him one branch on one tree to hang his nuts. But I get the rest of the bungalow, the grounds, the village, his soul.

I'm a very humble person though. Even in my recent vlog I pretended not to know much about COVID-19. But, as soon as I put a face mask on, BoJo announces they're now going to be mandatory in all public places. I'm not sure why I'm not on the payroll as his sidemanwoman. I've just sent him a quick email with a little suggestion that back mitts should also be made compulsory to all. I'm aware Boris is a busy man, almost as busy as me, so in anticipation, I've reordered the whole stock from the Chinese factory. I wanted it all to arrive tomorrow, but Mr Bosshole only agreed to the day after. I even offered to throw in Lumi, given bats are now off the menu. Talking about menus, have you seen my culinary posts of all my roasties and veg #ad? You all may laugh at their inedibility, but I do it on purpose so we can't eat them duh! How else will I continue to fit into my size 4's?! I already have a massive man-fan horn-dog club, especially after my smexy promo shots, shout out to newcomer John, so I don't even need any porker punchers joining if I did put on weight. Ali wanted to get in on the action too. He called them dicktures. But saying that I've not seen them on the gram yet.

Anyway, talking about appearances, I also used my well-deserved time off to get my botox and filler top ups. No one wants to be a droop doggy dog or have wrinkle chasers after them. Cawwie made my appointment under the name of Cruella De Botox. She's such a good little poppet, she knows how important it is to conceal my true identity and keep it on the down low. This is between you and I though. What goes on outside the bungalow stays outside the bungalow. Cosmetic procedures are still not permitted here in the UK you see, but they make exceptions for CEOs. I'm extremely busy and important as a Glóby founder, courtyard garden designer, and soon to be political advisor, I just don't have the time like I used to, to achieve a natural pillow face. I now only have 19 hours per day spare to lie down. Saying that, I feel another headache coming on. I really need to stop thinking before I talk. New Girl said if there was an apocalypse, and you never know in 2020, I'd be safe as zombies only eat brains. I've nailed the best cheerleader staff member, she has all the sass of a year 7 PE teacher.

Love Lydia (Lover of linen, lisping, lies and lying down)

 

[Elle Belle]

Vlog - Thursday 16th July

- A whole 3 hauls. That abstinence lasted long. At least they're all from sustainable brands. JK. They're from H&M and NastyGal. She highlights she bought them herself. 'Off her own back'. Well done Lydia. So you spent some of your own money. If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I'd still have change though.
- They're off to Haddenstone Gardens. She reclines her car seat. Horizontal for life.
- She whines because Ali is never on time. That's because Cinderali has to do everything in the bungalow before he's even allowed out.
- She hyped up the baby-talking when she sees aminals in this vlog. Horsey-moos. Stone-doggies. Stone-Lumi's. Birdies. Waspies. The more time I spend watching Lydia, the more I understand why Noah only allowed animals on the boat.
- She wants another water feature. She'd like the sound of water waking her up. Much better than the sound of mice.
- She's having a little play with her new gifted earrings. She advises the most common question she's asked is about her ear design. I mean it's not. It's Glóby. Did you mean unmuted questions Lydia?
- She states she needs to give her other earrings a clean as they're so dirty. She also apologises for the soil under her nails. I guess when BoJo advised us all to sing happy birthday whilst washing our hands, she silenced him too.
- She has the worst wrist strength ever. She's trying to open an earring. An earring. Let that sink in. She needs to get Ali to help. Ali has the best wrist strength ever. He's obviously used to only jerkin his own gherkin.
- We get another sneak peak of the pigeon poop front door. We get to see the back door too. She's redoing the boot room. I think I actually like the boot room. But nothing brightens it up like your absence Lydia.
- She's got a hernia from lifting the compost. Along with her brain damage. I hope she has shares with Bupa. I don't know what makes you so stupid Lydia. But it really does work.
- She's test driving a cleaning product. She doesn't like that it's not strong smelling. You can take the girl away from the laughing gas...
- She goes for a solo party to the river with a book and 1/2 a bottle of wine. She makes friends with the sheep. You go girl. And don't come back.
- She informs you asked she delivered on her sprootling update. Who asked???!!! No seriously? Shit like this is why aliens fly straight past us.
- It's 5.30am. She woke up at 4.30am. Something troubling you Lydia? You don't need your beauty sleep. Girl you need to hibernate. She's pooped but raring to go to write her day's to do list. She's just done her makeup and a new layer of tan. Oh now it's night-time. Maybe if you ate some of that makeup Lydia, you could be pretty on the inside too.
- She's being doing a lot of listening recently. I'm typing this with my middle finger, just so you all know. She's got this overbearing sense that people are struggling online at the moment. She doesn't want to add to the heaviness. She wants her channel to be somewhere you can go and feel 'ahhh I needed that'. She clearly wants us all to forgive and forget about the Glóby fiasco. Firstly, I'm not Jesus and secondly, nor do I have Alzheimers.
- She's obsessed with the colour sage. Laters beige. People show their true colours eventually. Lydia yours is shit brown. Which I suppose is a mix of sage and beige.
- She can't pronounce broderie anglaise. But acknowledges she doesn't actually care. When you're doing a fashion try-on, I mean Lydia maybe you should. I'm going to need you to put your few brain cells together and trust me here.
- She's going to leave the vlog here where she has us. Whilst I have you Lydia. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have five fingers. The third is for you.
- Disclaimer - I do actually like her, I do think she's still funny and endearing in a self-deprecating way. I just wish she wasn't so condescending and entitled. Be more old Lydia.

 

[Elle Belle]

Vlog 'I've Wanted To Film This For A While' - Monday 20th July

- OMG a Glóby update. At long last. JK. Just another click-bait title.
- As we all know she's been battling with brain damage. Last night was the first she had without a headache. She was properly able to do content. When? We must have missed it.
- She's having a change up in office. Not decor. For once. But brands not sending her products, only followers with their letters and cards. Who this? Hold up. The world has realigned. Here comes all the PR.
- She advises she's got quite sensitive feet so can only purchase luxury. I would make a joke about your trotters Lydia, but I see you already beat me to it in your latest insta post.
- She gives us a shoe history of Northamptonshire. How do you know so much Lydia? Anyone would think this is where you live.
- She has verbal diarrhoea and informs 'it feels so wonderful'. God must have made you with his left hand. On a Monday. With a hangover.
- She highlights she's a customer of Churches. Not a paying one, just a customer. She says she's just lucky they've sent her some bits. 2 pairs of £350 slides are not what I would call bits.
- We finally get to see the Choos. They're 'bougie sprootlings' according to Lydia. So you're the reason we have warning labels on everything.
- She highlights the Intimissimi lingerie is not a paid partnership, but just before she said she's opening PR products. Here's a tissue Lydia. You have a little bullshit on your lip.
- She has an orgasm over the strapless bra. She tries it on. Then bends forward. Wow Lydia, you really lived up to your potential.
- She doesn't know what it is about her not liwearing low cut dresses. I do. It's your concave chest.
- She shows us her beige 'thongy thongs'. No wonder Ali stays away. Let's not hope he's a tosser and turner in bed. It's the only way they'll have a baby.
- She highlights she may slip up with the word nude. She shows us a purple slip and is delighted Intimissimi are catering for all skin tones. No-one has purple skin. Oh do you mean Barney?
- She's going to create a TikTok of her 'essential most essential wardrobe solutions'. It's really not essential Lydia. Trust me.
- She tells us she even needs to put slips under her Zimmerman dresses. I own a couple from this brand and I don't. That's because I'm not 70.
- Ali loves her silk pyjamas so she's stocked up. Wishful thinking, but I like a girl who tries. We get a close up of her sage pyjamas. She's acknowledges she's living her best life. Abracadabra nope you're still stupid.
- She advises we can buy from wherever we fancy. She likes these ones though. That's because they're free.
- She goes on a dog 'walky walk' with Cawwie and Paula. Who the fuck is Paula? Must be Cawwie's friend. Must be. Or Lydia's carer.
- She highlights if she could teach us all one lesson it would be not to throw our face masks on the floor. We should all use a bin. Is that where the remainder 97% of Glóby units are going Lydia? That first step of your high horse is gonna be a bitch. Tuck and roll.
- Whenever she leaves a social situation after lockdown she has a sore throat from all the chatting. Firstly, this proves she literally does not talk to Ali apart from barking orders. Secondly, a sore throat? Seriously? It gets worse. Far worse. She then puts a plaster on her cheek. For. A. Spot. This girl is a hypochondriac.
- She sees a 'poor little badgy'. She can't cope with all the dead aminals on the road. Sames. But I probably wouldn't emphasise this after showing 3 pairs of leather shoes. Just saying.
- It's 'baby girl Lumi bear's' birthday. It's also Lynx's 11 month anniversary. She acknowledges it's 'swings and roundabouts'. She really gave no shits about his disappearance. Oh apart from it allowing her 2 months off from making content. Obvs.
- She informs, at the age of 6, Lumi is still grumpy and spoilt. The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree does it Lydia?
- She's bedtime watering the sprootlings. Cawwie called one a weed. Honestly same girl.
- Absolutely none of this is new content. She just films what she's already posted on the gram. Same shit different day. I don't think I can keep this up I'm actually running out of words. Unless I learn to speak assholian.

 

[Miscanthus]

Lidl has absolutely nothing to offer me...
I've had a career in communications, a second career in horticulture and my own garden design business, I've had staff, I've travelled the world, I've had cats, I can cook and feed myself, I'm well read,I know my body and can dress myself with reasonable style, I have long hair that I know how to manage, I've decorated my house myself, I can sew, make curtains and masks......
I'm sure I'm not alone....this thread is full of intelligent, articulate and funny people, successful career women, mothers, people far more qualified to have a vlog.
What exactly is she offering? She can't do anything, knows nothing, has been nowhere. She doesn't know about fashion, fabrics, body shapes, style. She can't cook, hasn't tried basic foods, has no manners. She puts foundation up on with fingers, uses the same brush for all eye colours, is unable to give independent advice because she's paid. Most places she's travelled to have been freebies and she shows no interest in learning about the places or their history and culture. She doesn't read and I've never seen her pick up a newspaper or reference the news. With interior decorating it's like giving her a dolls house to play with...and don't get me started on gardening.
Yet she's earning enough to employ two people (2 x 35k?) and has 800k followers hanging on her every lisp.
The only thing that keeps me coming back is this site and the humour and insight! Sorry to vent but it's been building up!!!

 

[QueenDecember]

I’m really not trying to be a bitch when I say this but...

Why would anyone take bra advise from someone with fake plastic boobs that don’t budge and don’t need one?? I am always looking for new bra recommendations but would never take anyone with rock hard implant’s advice.... they don’t need the support a good bra gives (clearly)

 

[Magee]

My first ever thread I’ve created! Have I done it right? Will I accidentally delete it? Will I ever get my “well known member” title back? Who knows.

Recap of last thread
- Took some days off to lick her wounds after a pretty disastrous brand and product launch. Came back with a ranting vlog and completely ignores said launch
- Still begging for a greenhouse to be gifted
- We got a glimpse of the new sacrifice staff member, the poor little lamb
- Served raw potatoes for dinner
- Trying new vegetables, shockingly not in purée form or spoon fed by Cawwieee

 

[toomuchstuff]

I have to vent this, just because photography is supposed to be his thing, I look at this image and these things just scream back at me.

Ali - just some tips for you for next time, remember your last lot of pix for Globy and you cut off Lydiot hands and feet, not a great look, so just a few framing tips.

• don't sit on the drain - move the stool away from the drain, god knows what's down there
• don't cut the tree off - move the stool further along, that fire escape is quite long enough
• don't cut off the light fixture - probably expensive lights you want to show them off to advantage - tilt the camera a weee bit upwards
• don't sit directly under the light - looks like one of those light bulb momenst when someone has a thought and we know that doesnt apply to you dear, again - move the stool along
• move the fecking phone - why of why is there a bloody phone in the shot, are you waiting on a vitally important call from "anyone"

 

[Brunette_]

Wow, electrician installing lights... Mind blown View attachment 188009View attachment 188010

And why must the world know about that?
I’ve been screwing on a new toilet seat earlier today. Should I post a few stories about it for all my 400+ followers to see?

Lately, I find all these influenza posts so ridiculous. I feel like I’m watching spoiled children demanding attention and praise. It’s all the same all day every day across all influenza channels:
- Me in my lilac bikini sucking in for life watching sunset in St.Tropez
- My acai bowl
- How absolutely stunning my face is!
- Me in the fields, I’m so in love with mother nature!
- My fresh sneakers
- My toy poodle is my child
- We are having pizza tonight!
- Holding a glass of white wine at golden hour
- Advertising perfume vessel in sunlight
- My nails are freshly done
- My ear/neck/hand party is on point
OMG This is all so stupid.

 

[PixelGirl]

And why must the world know about that?
I’ve been screwing on a new toilet seat earlier today. Should I post a few stories about it for all my 400+ followers to see?

Lately, I find all these influenza posts so ridiculous. I feel like I’m watching spoiled children demanding attention and praise. It’s all the same all day every day across all influenza channels:
- Me in my lilac bikini sucking in for life watching sunset in St.Tropez
- My acai bowl
- How absolutely stunning my face is!
- Me in the fields, I’m so in love with mother nature!
- My fresh sneakers
- My toy poodle is my child
- We are having pizza tonight!
- Holding a glass of white wine at golden hour
- Advertising perfume vessel in sunlight
- My nails are freshly done
- My ear/neck/hand party is on point
OMG This is all so stupid.

I think this has been Covid's greatest lesson. That life is about more than things, that our family and friends are what is important, over and above stuff. We don't need lives filled with unnecessary materialism anymore. For many people, their lives are so busy trying to meet mortgage payments and everyday costs of just existing, that when a holiday is taken it is straight off somewhere for a two-week break which is a false situation. Suddenly without much warning, we were forced into a situation where we were all stuck at home for weeks on end, spending more time with families, not having to face the daily commute. This time at home allowed us to look around us and ask the question, why are we working flat out, just to stay still? And yet, these influencers thrust down our throats every day via social media, that our lives could be so much better, as good as theirs if we buy that new handbag or overpriced face cream if we just follow their affiliate link. That somehow, owning that item will make us closer to their lifestyle, than our own lacking or miserable one. They know though that this lifestyle they show us isn't real, their own lives aren't the filtered and doctored photos they add to Instagram. Driving around in luxury cars that are loaned or on finance, wearing clothes that not even they could afford if they had to put their hand in their own pocket to pay for them. They could be in huge amounts of debt, we wouldn't know, because that's not the stuff they share on Social Media. It's all a lie, a look at me, aren't I so great, I am better than you! COVID19 has pulled back the curtain on the world of influencers and allowed those looking in to see it for what it really is. A sham, with a fast-approaching best before date.

 

[Christmasbauble]

Someone call this woman an ambulance, she’s fucking MENTAL.

 

[D565666]

Proof read. You’re so dull Lydia

PS. Her lips seem to have got bigger.

I'm medically trained and place fillers. She has a pronounced fulcrum (those 1 lines between nose and lips) and theres a white line around her upper lip. Classic signs if recently filled lips. Her cheeks also look like they've been injected again..she looks revolting but I love it. Keep going lidl you look hideous.

 

[toomuchstuff]

I hear ya sister.
I have no energy for housework any more - so I will get the cleaners in
I have no energy for digging the garden any more - so I will get the gardeners in
People who don't agree with me are draining me - I will block them
People who flight with my peace of mind (don't actually know what that means but anyway) - I will call them trolls and blame them
I am just not dealing with all these things that are sooo difficult in my life. I am also just going to refuse to use full stops.

 

[Lola Faith]

Sack the PA, she's missing comments!

 

[Brunette_]

I think this has been Covid's greatest lesson. That life is about more than things, that our family and friends are what is important, over and above stuff. We don't need lives filled with unnecessary materialism anymore. For many people, their lives are so busy trying to meet mortgage payments and everyday costs of just existing, that when a holiday is taken it is straight off somewhere for a two-week break which is a false situation. Suddenly without much warning, we were forced into a situation where we were all stuck at home for weeks on end, spending more time with families, not having to face the daily commute. This time at home allowed us to look around us and ask the question, why are we working flat out, just to stay still? And yet, these influencers thrust down our throats every day via social media, that our lives could be so much better, as good as theirs if we buy that new handbag or overpriced face cream if we just follow their affiliate link. That somehow, owning that item will make us closer to their lifestyle, than our own lacking or miserable one. They know though that this lifestyle they show us isn't real, their own lives aren't the filtered and doctored photos they add to Instagram. Driving around in luxury cars that are loaned or on finance, wearing clothes that not even they could afford if they had to put their hand in their own pocket to pay for them. They could be in huge amounts of debt, we wouldn't know, because that's not the stuff they share on Social Media. It's all a lie, a look at me, aren't I so great, I am better than you! COVID19 has pulled back the curtain on the world of influencers and allowed those looking in to see it for what it really is. A sham, with a fast-approaching best before date.

I cannot wait to see “the end result” of COVID impact on influenza industry.
One thing I know for sure, they are not as happy as they portray. Ten years ago I had a blog, and then I also created an Instagram page to accompany my blog. And even though my blog was just a hobby, and I did not work with/for any brands, I still treated it as a job with responsibility to post regularly, provide interesting content and a good variety, be there ready to reply to every comment my posts received, create beautiful images my followers would enjoy. Then, at some point, I caught myself being sucked into that SM life and drowning. All I could think about was how to get the best shot. I noticed that I was picking our Friday night out spot based on how “instagrammable” it was. I did not touch my food before I had a perfect flat lay shot. I forced my partner to always sit outside (at the restaurant) because natural light was better for the photos. I started buying things (clothing, home decor, etc.) based on how “instaperfect” they were. I was getting upset if I could not get the photo I planned for, and my day would be ruined. I wasn’t present anymore, and did not really pay any attention to things and people around me, as all I was concerned with, was how it all looked through the lens. The day I considered a date night with my partner to be “a total waste of time”, because we failed to make “a good photo”, became the last day of me as an instablogger. I do not envy their lives at all. I would never trade my living in the moment for anything they posses.

 

[Elle Belle]

We get it Lydia, you have a piddly-ass headache. This girl is duller than dry toast, PowerPoint presentations, her frumpy vanilla underwear, the last ten minutes of the working day, the it's not you it's me speech, sex without the x, soggy noodles, Kristen Stewart, and then some. Bore off Lydia Fun Sponge Millen with your T-Rex hand pose!

P.S. I've had a long day at work and no wine left

 

[Okay]

Hi Lydia and staff! I know you read here so I just wanted to explain something to you, the world is in the middle of a pandemic, over 1/2 a million people have died in the world from this virus, millions have been ill, just today BBC reported 650,000 people in the U.K. have completely lost their income due to corona and we still don’t know what will happen in the fall, when schools go back to normal, or when normal travel resumes. In light of all of this, you chose to launch an over priced back scrubber, accept free food when food banks are sitting empty, and shopping like everything is normal.
I would suggest giving Farmers Hamper the free advertising as getting access to fresh veg is difficult for some right now like the elderly who haven’t been able to go out, but instead of keeping those hampers for yourself why not donate them to your local food bank. I consider it absolutely appalling that you would choose to keep them when you continue to state over and over and over that you can afford to buy your own food, so I’m asking you to do something you’ve probably never done before; think of others, donate the food, and give the food company a free promotion. Also while I have you here let’s talk about Nasty Gal and BooHoo, stop supporting them, they are under investigation for SLAVERY!!! Why is this hard for you to understand? Louise Pentland posted a picture of her in a dress from SHEIN she then took the tag off said picture and told people where to buy a simile dress from a company that didn’t have poor ethics, take a lesson from her!

 

[tkiff]

Where is her upper lip?

She hadn’t purchased it yet

 

[BeccaBanana]

Ali is getting more ponsy as the weeks go one. The picture of him in that stupid hat. And he thinks he's gorgeous

I find Ali just so A-sexual. I can appreciate he is a good looking bloke, but there is just nothing sexy about him. I cringe when I look at him or hear him trying to act in this way. He never used to, he was normal! He would jump in his transit van, nip to B&Q and laugh and joke, but now he's like a super poncey try hard who thinks we give a shit about his outfit of the day, 'fragrance wardrobe' or 'fresh trim'. And I hate the fact that Lydia seems to think she's managed to bag the worlds best looking bloke and we're all jealous of her! No thanks love!

 

[blue_orchid]

It's sooo much better with the sound (still on her IG stories at the end of the tutorial bs with her blowup volleyball tits) but the smug-itude in this is off the charts!!

She thinks she's so damn cute

View attachment 182551

Vom The smug face and attitude is beyond revolting in this video.

When I first saw her she was in the previous home, she was just beautiful and sweet and natural. Her sense of style was modern, chic and classic with an edge to it. More than anything her personality was night and day from what she is today. She seemed so earnest and sincere.

I get we all grow and change but whose personality changes this drastically and for the worse?? She has become arrogant, narcissistic, rude, smug and more pretentious than ever. It's odd.

And you'd think with all the face fillers, high end clothes and skin care, she'd look better not worse. She was absolutely lovely and beautiful and seemed so earnest in her videos 3 years ago. Now she's a Stepford wife wannabe, looks fake and is just a glutton for $.

Her complete denial and pretending that she never launched a brand and fucked up so badly shows how immature, ungrounded and ridiculous she is. Posting all these quotes about honesty, growth, truth, being true to yourself etc. is ridiculous when she does the complete opposite when it comes to her brand, failed launch and how she tried to rip people off. That's what is despicable to me.

That and the fake homeless act and how she acted at that event. Claiming she was homeless when she stayed with grandma and was buying luxury designer bags. Sorry but that still irks me. It's what my first post was about here. I never was one to post but that video made me lose it and I started typing. That is what still disgusts me the most. That shows how much of a liar and self serving she is.

Then add how she silenced all her customers after ripping people off for self-profit and you have the worst example of an influencer. Lydiot is a cautionary tale of how money and faux fame can change people and for the worse.

Does she have enough insight to go back to her videos from 3 years ago and see how different she was and why so many of us here on Tattle initially liked her? Maybe it was all an act until she got the house, $ and faux fame and then her true self emerged. There was no reason to put on an act anymore as she achieved what she wanted.

Influencers need to realize the world is changing, cancel culture is real and the gravy train from social media will dry up eventually as people realize what's more important and who the real influencers are - scientists, educators, environmentalists, cultural and social activists, people trying to do good for people and the planet not money hungry whores shilling shit on YouTube and IG so they can get their Range Rover or next 6000 pound designer bag. I hope the younger generation realize who the real role models and influencers of the world are because these social media whores are definitely not fucking it.

 

[lidlebunglow]

I messaged lydia and "the farmershamper" company saying in this current economy these hampers should go to those who are in need & guess what happen... they both blocked me!