Jane Gammons #50 Berty the van and Polly the potty, flat is a dump and she’s still grotty

[Emperortooco]

Hi Tattlers, Leah (emperortooco) is now under the care of our local hospice. She said she wanted to spend her final few days there when it was time and we both feel that now is the time. It’s happening faster than we both anticipated but at the same time she is getting her wish of not suffering and I am grateful for that. She is sleeping much of the time now and occasionally opens her eyes and gives me that beautiful smile. Will keep you updated guys and please give your loved ones an extra hug tonight. Thankyou

 

[Emperortooco]

Hello Tattlers !
It’s Tooco’s better half here . I wanted to let you know at Emperortooco’s request that she is now on an end of life pathway. She is calmer now, comfortable , at home and receiving the best care. She is hoping to be on here in the next couple of days but in the meantime she wanted to say , still here and fighting even though she hasn’t been on here as often. Will keep you posted and thank you for making some of her darkest times easier to bear with your wicked sense of humour. She also said in her words “no fucking sympathy from the Tattlers” just business as usual when she is back on. Thanks all

 

[lexiloo]

Hello Tattlers !
It’s Tooco’s better half here . I wanted to let you know at Emperortooco’s request that she is now on an end of life pathway. She is calmer now, comfortable , at home and receiving the best care. She is hoping to be on here in the next couple of days but in the meantime she wanted to say , still here and fighting even though she hasn’t been on here as often. Will keep you posted and thank you for making some of her darkest times easier to bear with your wicked sense of humour. She also said in her words “no fucking sympathy from the Tattlers” just business as usual when she is back on. Thanks all

If we've learned anything about Tooco it's that she takes situations by the balls and does everything in her own sweet style, I can only imagine she's doing the same with this horrid situation, sending love to you both and please tell her to stay her fabulous fucking self until the curtain falls (saying that with humour not insensitivity just like Tooco herself would do) I know she wouldn't want tattle sympathy so let's raise a glass to Tooco with a toast she would love.......fuck the gammons and however shit we all feel from time to time at least we're not them

 

[lexiloo]

Thankyou, I saw the other comments from people and again thank you so much everyone, means a lot to me. Still struggling to grasp that I,ve got weeks left maybe few months tops. I think I’m at peace with it then hits me like a train. Apart from feeling fucking shattered all the time and nauseous I’m not in the pain that I was but there again that’ll be the morphine, it’s mint ! Then there’s fat cunt moaning about feeling iffy from her jab. One thing tattlers I won’t let you down as I’ll haunt the bastard. Hope I’m making sense as Mr Tooco is typing this and I’m just rambling I can’t watch her as screens are knocking me sick so listening to the blob muttering about her favourite passion in life…. Food, fucking chocolate, god I feel like hurling

You are fucking fabulous as always, I know you don't want sympathy so I'll not send any but just know you've brightened this thread with the power of laughter, think monsters Inc when they swap screams for laughter and power a city, that's you, you're the sunshine, the solar power, the scare floors ultimate power.......and you always will be. Wherever you are you'll be here, remembered, reminisced about and written in tattle history as a fucking legend, I wish id known you in real life to giggle until we needed tena ladies but our tattle history will keep me chuckling for ever my friend
PS Janes a fat dickhead

 

[Emperortooco]

View attachment 1685916

Wtf

Wonder if that battered sausage will be used on her in the back of the van. Charlie could eat his way up her flaps, think I told you once I knew someone that used to do that with curly wurlys and mars bars, then her husband decided to stick an orange sparkle ice lolly up. The contact of that lolly on her inner flaps took the skin off, she was in agony for weeks. I sacked her in the end she was bloody hopeless

View attachment 1685974

Wish I was going to be around to see the completion of Berty, that’s one on my bucketlist not achieved . Goodish day today , been awake full on since 5pm , fancied a curry , Mr Tooco went and got a takeaway, had 2 forkfuls then left it but have necked the bottle of Prosecco down, will no doubt suffer for it but what the fuck, I’m a rebel

 

[MUZICAL_THEATRE]

Note how she say's there's no room for babies in their little lives, what a shame for Charlie, I think he would have loved to have had a child. Never mind, he can look after the big fat baby wife he has.

He’s lost out a lot in life being married to her. And now through her hideously unhealthy lifestyle she has turned him into an unhealthy and obese excuse for a man. He needs to stop pampering to her every need, wise up and give his wife a good talking to for both their sakes, if he doesn’t nobody will.

 

[Motherofpigs]

She’s hoping for a puppy or a ninja

neither of which they can afford lol.

thought they weren’t allowed dogs in her flat? Isn’t that why they had to give away Charlie’s Mum’s dog….oh wait she talks absolute bollocks. Just didn’t want something in the house that Charlie would give more attention to and that would prefer Charlie to her. At least with her own dog she can make it love her the most, or so she thinks. Jane always has to be the centre of the universe so she would deffo want the dog to be ‘her’ dog and not Bean’s. I just feel sorry for the poor little thing, it will be fat as fuck and won’t be walked.

 

[square_spoon]

Berty will just be the next in a long line of failed attempts by Bean to get his wife to do anything he’s interested in….or do anything at all really. You just know she’s one of those women who dangles stuff in front of him like ‘well I would if we had a campervan…’ so he concocts one thinking it’s the answer only for her to be all ‘no I still don’t want to’ or, knowing chins and her manipulating skills, ‘oh no I can’t Charweeee’. She puts so many obstacles in the way of their future being anything other than an early death from overconsumption of fast food. Can’t do this until we’ve done that kinda vibes…we’ll save for our own place but only after I’ve wasted years of my life working part-time when I could have worked full-time, to then quit my job and play shop at home to hang out with strangers online, making less than I did working in my part-time retail job.

His whole life will be frittered away waiting on her to stop being such a horror of a human being and he’ll never realise that she is the one holding them back from ever having the kind of life they want, or him having any kind of life at all that doesn’t involve pandering to her lazy whims 24/7.

 

[Motherofpigs]

New thread time and it's the big 5-0 already, happy 50th Jane the pain. What a blast the last one was, some hysterical title suggestions but the one with most likes was this gem from @Motherofpigs well done! Keep them coming at the end of the next thread guys as there was some total howlers

Let's see what birthday fortnight bingefest brings and hope they get out in Bertie to keep us in tattle giggles, bets on for how long it takes for the port potty to be pancaked, tattle on.......

YAY FINALLY I WON A THREAD TITLE thanks guyzzzzzzzz

 

[Motherofpigs]

Thread suggestion: Lives full of mods, expanding bod, get back to tesco you lazy sod!

 

[Firebug]

Blow up mattress! In the back of a cold transit van! We went camping with the kids about 20 years ago using a blow up in a tent, 1. It deflatted during the night, always needed blown up again in the morning. 2. It was cold, the cold travelled up through it. 3. It does have a weight limit, two average sized adult. Lets see how this plays out.

 

[doctordoctor]

Charlie is wearing his ‘all the places I’ll never get to see because Jane is too ankshuss t-shirt’

They look as if they’re playing with their ‘My Big Chemistry Set’ she got for her birfday

 

[lexiloo]

She's so unfortunate looking, as my dear departed nana used to say "everyone has the right to be ugly but some abuse the privilege"

 

[lexiloo]

Hi Tattlers, Leah (emperortooco) is now under the care of our local hospice. She said she wanted to spend her final few days there when it was time and we both feel that now is the time. It’s happening faster than we both anticipated but at the same time she is getting her wish of not suffering and I am grateful for that. She is sleeping much of the time now and occasionally opens her eyes and gives me that beautiful smile. Will keep you updated guys and please give your loved ones an extra hug tonight. Thankyou

Sending you both love, Leah has brightened this thread up many times with her unique and witty way with words, Ive laughed until I've been blinded with tears at her comments and always thought "tooco sure knows how to tell it like it really is" she's been a complete hoot on here and I think I speak for us all when I say no one will ever tattle quite like she has

 

[Kthxbye]

I bet he (sorry she) put a post up probably with a wedding photo and mentioned the words little life and probably thanking her

I mean who doesn’t want to be thanked in a birthday post it’s just her chance to blow smoke up her own fat arse

Ding ding ding we have a winner!

 

[doctordoctor]

‘This is Captain Daftboy speaking…em……welcome……eh…em on board em…flight 236 to…em…like….eh Spain……flying with us today is Senior cabin crew Jane, that’s eh……the big fat bird sitting on the two seats at the front..…eh she can’t get down the aisle so just queue up………em……and she’ll dish out the spag bol………if she hasn’t necked it all herself…’

 

[doctordoctor]

She used to say ‘if we’re lucky enough to have children’ to be honest, it’s probably best she doesn’t, she’s completely inept. Obviously, it’s a personal choice, no shame in wanting to be child free, but I think Charlie would’ve loved to be a dad…

 

[Sweatybetty]

 

[kizzy]

Don’t take advice from her she said View attachment 1660221View attachment 1660222View attachment 1660225

Who done the brows?? Mr MagooView attachment 1660235

No room for babies in their little life she said, they wouldn’t cope View attachment 1660248View attachment 1660249

She’s talking about people she dated in the past when she thinks back she cringed , I’m sure they’ll be thinking the same View attachment 1660273View attachment 1660275

50,000 likes she looking for View attachment 1660290

Note how she say's there's no room for babies in their little lives, what a shame for Charlie, I think he would have loved to have had a child. Never mind, he can look after the big fat baby wife he has.

 

[Emperortooco]

They’ve suspended her TikTok shop, up yours she said I’ll stick to my website

She will have got it suspended as I reported her last night for selling the Grinch shite as it’s copyrighted and also for the shit quality of her pwoducts. I’m awake most of the night still so need to do something to occupy my mind