Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[Spanner]

I thought it was Nigella, doing all the 'tender heart' and so on?

Yes, my mistake. Jay Rayner is actually worse

 

[Valiofthedolls]

He also 1. Wears hats like hers and they used to have fun counting them
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2. Has mugs and crockery like hers which means they’re “as good as married”
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3. Has to stay with her til next spring cos she put him in her new book acknowledgements, which he “took quite well”
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Spoiler: blurstoftimes glorious Harold post

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4. Dumped her stupid ass 3 weeks after she posted 3. above in “a bolt from the blue after a lovely weekend away”. No idea what went wrong. Such a curve ball!
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Oh PS he also has parents that she made

Spoiler: THIS FOR

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(thanks to @Marmalade Atkins @Boyo @blurstoftimes and @Sideboard Bob for the screenies)

Quoting myself like something from the drawer, but the fact that a 34 year old woman made this as a “lovely surprise treat” for the parents of her mid-40ish partner will never, ever be anything but absolutely hilarious to me.

Every time I imagine her proudly unveiling it with great aplomb and a theatrical flourish to be met by wide eyed stares and mouths agape, I like to imagine that just like in It’s a Wonderful Life, an angel a Pumble gets its wings.

 

[MavisBeacon]

She’s been BINNED

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GOOD. She didn't deserve that gig. Taking space from someone who actually knows and cares about the issues in Wales.

 

[moldwarp]

Or the one in 2011 where she was on the absolute bare bones of her arse a mere one month after resigning from the fire service (and in the month she was inviting the Mummies and Daddies round for cake at the Royal Mews flat with NO DRIVE AND NO GARDEN)

Ah yes. That fateful Christmas where she sat drinking cheap lager, but also not drinking cheap lager, because she never drank cheap lager when her son was little. Although she did drink cheap whisky, because she was a SEVERE alcoholic.

If you took her at face value, you'd have to conclude that Jack has lived several dozen different lives in parallel, like a ginormous gloitch in the matrix.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Tell me more about the craft business.

Jack did some sewing...

Lol

Pic from this post by @colouredlines:

Jack Monroe #412 Chiz on Tiz

Insomnia Misty here to inform you that the most recent slop has an OG version I don’t know what the Green is and I’m happy for it to stay that way. Qu'est-ce que le fuck is not only that green but also the yellow? Yikes

tattle.life

 

[GazpachoPolice]

Evening fraus. I’ve been have a little bit of a late night musing about Jack and her grief vulture tendencies/ appropriating of other people’s trauma/ pathological lies and it’s been ringing a little bell. She reminds me somewhat of Tania Head, the woman who for years was one of the leading figures of the survivors of 9/11 after she lost her husband in the attacks and barely made it out alive herself. Except none of it was true. She wasn’t even in the country that day.

She had sucked up the real survivors stories and become one of them. No one dared question it because you don’t want to be that arsehole and the threat of her poor mental health was also deployed as a deflection strategy. There’s plenty of articles and a good documentary about it if anyone is interested and doesn’t know the story already.

i see so many similarities between her and Jack, although there was never any indication that she made money out of it. Whereas I would suggest that Jack has made a fortune out of it.

Apologies for the tangent… as you were.

 

[zetta buttons]

The BTL comments on that Guardian recipe are classic. Some people were on to her already - back in 2014. Example: View attachment 1750700

There are so many who realise that

a) recipes doesn’t work
b) the costings don’t work
c) the food looks shit
d) she is complaining about the comments on Twitter and not taking on advice and yet

The Guardian continued to publish her. It’s appalling that she was allowed to continue her cosplaying, fool people and take money for nothing.

Many of us were fooled. Probably because of the likes of the Guardian. If publications like them published people like Jack then surely we should trust her?

The blame for this lies in many, many places.

 

[zetta buttons]

Hang on, Jack was a food *columnist* for the Guardian? I thought she just wrote merail opinion pieces about life among the poors.

You have no idea…

The comments on her column are golden .

(I was still under the Jack spell when she was writing those. Still under the Guardian spell tbh. Times have changed somewhat.)

ETA- 2 people discussing her giant crab ravioli recipe (it is giant ravioli not giant crab) from 2014. It uses fish paste and fresh crab btw . How is she still doing this 8 years later?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

The frame doesn’t fit the photo and the photo isn’t straight.

Can’t she do anything right?

No.

The photo pops up here, too. Never fails to make me laugh.

 

[Geetbo]

i wonder if Jack's brother confronted her over her blatant lies about their childhood?

I'm an only child so can't really say for sure, but surely it would piss you off to see your sibling talking absolute bollocks about their upbringing?

I've been wondering what 'my dear heart' was about. I'm contemplating grunking from day one but I think it would take me a year and a half.

Yeah I always wonder if people think I'm an absolute prick with my liberal use of tender one.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Has she ever talked about long term effects of drinking 200 units a week? Other than looking like a cross between Rose West and Benny from Crossroads?

She hasn't, because she doesn't know what the effects would be. She's never drank that amount. The only thing she has said about her claimed drinking days was that her liver was 'failing'. Which is just utter bullshit as people with failing livers are very unwell and in hospital, and many don't recover. She lies about some horrific things, absolutely sick in the head.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Oh PS he also has parents that she made

Spoiler: THIS FOR

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So Harold's parents either came out of her fanny or have been in it. Those are the only people she makes cakes for

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

In fact, given she has pissed off and Instagram is boring AF, I might go back and look at her recipes and the hilarious comments for lols.

This one is particularly good. The commenters have actually worked the volumes she has used are bollocks and that’s on top of the fact that the recipe is disgusting.

Jack Monroe’s black pudding and carrot hash recipe

This is hangover food at its finest, especially when served with soft-boiled eggs and fried bread

www.theguardian.com

If you had been, as she so charmingly puts it, “dogshit poor” and then were miraculously gifted a recipe column in the Guardian (we should assume this is a pretty well paid gig, right?), can you even fathom the levels of laziness, arrogance, and entitlement to put this untested shite out as a recipe?

No instruction on how to handle the black pudding; unhinged proportions of ingredients; a convoluted method (who wants to wait an hour while their hangover breakfast chills in the fridge?!) that is clearly untested (the carrot will “bear down” on the potato?! Lol, k, Jack).

Whenever stuff like this is unearthed I just wonder why she wasn’t outed as a complete fraud sooner. It isn’t cute or quirky to write about how you’ve been on the piss instead of doing your job and then weave that into the piece of shit recipe you wrote 12 minutes before deadline, still twatted. Ungrateful turd.

 

[Emmapism]

Spoiler: Betting thanks

Thanks to @auntylil for the post about matched betting! I read around and am £15 in profit this morning, with a bunch of free bets to place on the football over the coming days. Definitely read a couple of blog posts to get your head around it but it's a neat little thing. I'm making sure I'm careful and not doing any regular gambling.

If I manage to make a decent amount before Christmas, I'm going to use some of it to do a big essentials shop for my local foodbank.

You really do learn a lot here

 

[Mitzymooface]

I’m fuming the CHC has given her a platform at this conference, choosing a “celebrity” name rather than a home grown activist who would be have knowledge and passion of the subject. I have meat in this game on two fronts - I live in Wales so am tuned in the specific issues here plus in the very recent past I was a speechwriter for a gov dept so I know how much time and effort goes in to prep and writing keynotes and believe me she is not equipped to pull this off in any conceivable way! It’s utterly disgusting for CHC to platform here in this way and I will be making my feelings known on their SM today.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

So far today I have seen Jack active on three separate Twitter socks. Sure there's more.

Truly living a life beyond her wildest dreams.

 

[jenny2603]

Sorry if I've missed it but which Jack is this 'do'?

There was a girl at my school who had hair like that, everyone called her "helmet heid". With that in my mind I propose we refer to this Jack as helmet heid Jack or just helmet for short.

 

[Justhereforthedrama]

At least shes open and honest about the after effects of her food;

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I suspect it’s a big Dave saying. It has dad energy.
J - boohoo I want to be in the RAF like my brother, it’s not fair!
BD- Well, you’re military round the edges, dear. You’re a girl but you’re also tough like a boy.

She claimed in that AWFUL happy baby podcast where she called her child “it” multiple times- said having a child was just like having a dog that the reason she’s “not very maternal” is because she came from a military family. Stupid dead eyed narc fucker.

Bonus points for “NO! NO! I grew up with a revolving door of troubled children/spent a lot of my childhood parenting difficult children” re: not wanting kids of her own. SHE IS VILE. And her adenoidal whine is just is appalling to listen to.

ETA this is a GREAT resource for anyone tempted to start feeling sorry for her at any point

 

[TillyMiffin]

He is the “other half” who she breadcrumbed about from Jan-May (?) this year who she scrupulously avoiding giving a gendered pronoun to because god forbid she should lose one of her oppression points, but turned out to be a handsome, wealthy, middle-aged man who worked in finance. She bragged about “their” (his) giant car and how “deliciously ordinary” he was. He then ditched her very suddenly. According to our sources when he found out what a mega-crank and pathological liar she is.

Also, she alluded to ‘lost pregnancies’ shortly after the split, which personally I found abhorrent