Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[SendReceive]

Ask Jack Monroe….

 

[meizee]

She did.
View attachment 1750316And also

Spoiler: 🤢🤮🤢 WARNED

View attachment 1750311View attachment 1750322

This makes me far too enraged this early in the morning. As someone who can’t have children, baking bread doesn’t fend off the pining you twatcrumpet. I’m just sad but with carbs.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Didn't she say something about not being very 'maternal' and one child is enough in her interview where there was a DO NOT ENTER line on the floor?

She did.

And also

Spoiler: 🤢🤮🤢 WARNED

 

[Flivver]

The BTL comments on that Guardian recipe are classic. Some people were on to her already - back in 2014. Example:

 

[Veronicaaa]

Hangover food

 

[Mr Krabs]

That person was VERY mean to die despite Jack's best efforts. Likely they did it to troll her. Can you imagine having the AUDACITY to die while you have THE Jack Monroe on the phone, trying to save your life?

It occurred to me, by the way, dearest Fraus, that if deaths in fires are so relatively rare in the UK then it'd probably have been in the press, right? Do we know when St Jack was in the fire service? Because they say the internet never forgets, and it seems like the tragic incident could be confirmed by a bit of a Google if it was in doubt?

But I trust her when she says she cannot lie.

Jack: Fire service. Celebrity campaigner Jack Monroe speaking.
Pov: Help! The house is on fire! I’m dying!
Jack: Ahem, I said this is Jack Monroe.
Pov: Wait, like the author?
Jack: Boo, I guess.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Thank you @zetta buttons for the Guardian comments tip off Some absolute bangers.
I've spoilered a couple for length but this one made me wriggle and giggle under my duvet (no children pinging tins of Winalot at my head necessary).

Spoiler

 

[Brian Butterfield]

And mine, Nonkey1.

 

[ishant]

“What is this grift” needs come back as a thread title nomination one day

 

[Lazarus]

Well I hope you’re all happy with yourselves. We’ve been reprimanded from the mods and even with 648 clues, I still can’t find Caroline or her hands. I’ll move on now.

 

[Jelly Bean]

THIS!!!! Even though we’ve read similar from her, the first couple of lines of her reply are ABSOLUTELY FUCKING STAGGERING
View attachment 1751351View attachment 1751352
Also quoted from her article “I don’t really talk about the Christmas Day”. Except you do, Jack. Incessantly. Mostly for paid articles monetizing your fake pov.

Omg her answer to a very fair question
So SB living with his dad would be the same as him going into care?
Poor SB's dad having to read this garbage year after year.

 

[Limey]

The physical changes from taking testosterone (eg voice changing) are irreversible. I know I’m preaching to the choir but LJC she’s such a lying liar.

The physical damage that would come from drinking 200 units of alcohol a week would be life changing, but yet our wee scamp is unaffected.

Almost as if...*Jimmy Nail enters, clearing his throat*

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Military/Military round the edges is just another one of those things she’s desperate to be/be seen as and isn’t. See also butch. I will lay odds that neither “Lynn of the pins” or Leggy fucking said that COINCIDENTALLY EXACT SAME THING to her.

Guardian interview, February 2014

Guardian article in June 2019.

Also, back on the subject of the fire service, here’s didn’t happen of the year eleventybillion+1

And didn’t happen of the year eleventybillion+2. Yeah, Of course they did.

She’s SO full of utter fucking nonsense that it’s almost laughable.

 

[SusieTCones]

Sorry if I've missed it but which Jack is this 'do'?

I like to think of this as “Betty Crocker” Jack

Q: What’s the difference between Betty Crocker and Jack Monroe?

A: Betty Crocker’s food comes in a cardboard box, but Jack Monroe’s food tastes like a cardboard box.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

See now - this is something that truly makes me livid. *I* am military round the edges, with bells on. Forces brat, grand brat and great grand brat. I see no -ing evidence of being honorable, truthful, decent, shying from public recognition, having a cast iron work ethic that never lets on, always thinking of others first. I have no words to describe how much this particular cosplay offends me.
Sorry, ninnies.

I am ex-military and there is no way on earth Jack would have been tolerated within any service be-it armed or civilian. There has to be an understanding of trust, comradeship and unity so, ego needs to foxtrot oscar. You think and act as one, the training is there for that purpose. If people like her pass even the most basic entry requirements they are soon forced out due to their inability to comply and for good reason.
I won't pop my medals on for the Kings speech this year and I don't have a piece of heavy artillery in my garage but I can spy a fucktrumpet from across the parade square.

She's as military as the weird bloke in your local who insists he was on the balcony back in 1984 but can't talk about it for "reasons".

 

[NellieBoo]

And yet not a single soul at the Guardian went 'hang on a minute, this is clearly bollocks'. Gullible twats.

It's utter bollocks and makes me very angry.

Spoiler: TW Alcohol

I've worked with and do work with people who are on that sort of amount when they are on a taper for detox. For context it's about 500ml/750ml of whiskey a day. It's irresponsible to suggest that long term consumption at that level can just be stopped without serious immediate consequences. It's irresponsible to suggest that just stopping drinking 200+ units a week can be done just like that and you'll be fine. The people I work with are exhausted, broken and have got themselves into some really difficult and chaotic situations. They most certainly aren't living their best life after a week.

 

[Reagent]

EXACTLY. I also feel quite confident in saying that if she had experienced such a thing, she wouldn't be tlaking about it in such a flippant way.

My Old Harold, (he has left) was a firefighter in the 80's & 90's when fire safety wasn't such a thing as now. He saw one fatality at a fire and it traumatised him and to this day I think he still suffers from ptsd from that and a horrible RTA he attended. Black humour was the way the watch had of dealing with horrific circumstances, but Jack's take on this is gruesome and sensational. She is insufferable and the absolute pits!

 

[Claret]

There is no way that her granddad acted in an altruistic way. His houses were bought in the cheapest area of the town. Split up into HMO's to maximise occupancy and profit. Let to those on benefits so he could receive direct payments and he got to pocket capital gains as well

Monroe learned well from him. Nothing is done except to extract personal gain. All the poverty cosplay, all the whining about self, all the positioning, all the grifting. Everything for maximum personal gain

She's all but finished now though, every time she speaks people either ask serious questions about her grift or they laugh at her. She won't be able to stand either. Worse for her, the serious questions about the misappropriation of funds aren't going away.

Reality is slowly catching up with her. We are witnessing her slow demise

 

[Sideboard Bob]

There’s a row on Twitter that started with Jack replying on Saturday morning, about earrings, which has now turned into what looks like a seven-way multiple argument, still going now, and Tiffany & Co are STILL tagged in!

I kind of hope she reactivates again soon.

 

[Captainmouse]

She’s in the kitchen