Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
(I couldn't be arsed fixing the ear issue)
- Notice
(I couldn't be arsed fixing the ear issue)
MancBee
VIP Member
It's been a shit and emotional day for me. You lot really are a tonic.
I've got to have a further op and start 6 weeks of daily radiotherapy. Thankfully they will be transferring me to Christie's in Manchester for the treatment but London will oversee it.
This is the 4th different cancer I have fought and this one is just getting to me a bit.
I don't want to drag the thread off topic. I know all your thoughts are with me. Just keep making me laugh. You bunch of ninnies.
This is the 4th different cancer I have fought and this one is just getting to me a bit.
I don't want to drag the thread off topic. I know all your thoughts are with me. Just keep making me laugh. You bunch of ninnies.
ThunderClapForCapers
Active member
Alansbigplate
VIP Member
In honour of Thread 200
Orphan_Black
VIP Member
Toffee finger
VIP Member
“I’m an adult and can make that decision and stick to it all by myself” In other words “I’m not being forced to give over my phone tattle ninnies’”
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
Dear hearts, I have been BUSY like a secret present elf to deliver this latest opus before the close of the thread #200 celebrations. No momentous occasion is complete without a little electroslop. Special Thankyou x to @HotesTilaire for coining the term sloup. In the name of the Grandfather, the Son and the Horse spirit, may you be blessed with an abundance of beans. Amen 
Vinbisha
Well-known member
It's Thread 200, it's time to delurk. If only to do the harmonies for Slop On and Thanks for all the Fish.
I watched thread 31 unfold in real time (an honour, ninnies) and have owled and champagned with you through the highs and Rishi-mated with you through the lows.
Thank(space)you for providing the rofls throughout this year. Its been a tough one, pandemic notwithstanding, and honestly this thread has been an absolute tonic.
Now fuck off
Alansbigplate
VIP Member
Blurp
VIP Member
Going back to the Patreon...
I listen to a podcast called Real Life Ghost Stories, done by a youngish married couple in Kent, Emma and Dan. During the first lockdown, they were shielding because of Dan's heart problem/defect. In June all the listeners were shocked to hear that Dan had died suddenly, no illness or warning whatsoever.
Emma has just started doing the podcast again and last night I listened to her update from last week. She admits that it gives her something to do to keep her hours and mind filled, and that the ads are currently her only source of income.
However, and this is the point I'm making, she stated that she had paused all Patreon for the time being (and we know she had back in June) so no money would be taken - because no extra Patreon content was available for the time being.
Compare a woman around Jack's age, suddenly widowed in a instant, who currently relies on her podcast for an income, refusing to take money via Patreon because she cannot provide content in return at the moment to the despicable leech that is Jack Monroe, happy to lie about her financial situation, plead constant poverty, and take money through Patreon without providing any of the promised 'goodies' in return - for months, if not over a year. Sick, twisted, narcissistic, fraudulent fucker, Jack Monroe.
Ed for grammar!
I listen to a podcast called Real Life Ghost Stories, done by a youngish married couple in Kent, Emma and Dan. During the first lockdown, they were shielding because of Dan's heart problem/defect. In June all the listeners were shocked to hear that Dan had died suddenly, no illness or warning whatsoever.
Emma has just started doing the podcast again and last night I listened to her update from last week. She admits that it gives her something to do to keep her hours and mind filled, and that the ads are currently her only source of income.
However, and this is the point I'm making, she stated that she had paused all Patreon for the time being (and we know she had back in June) so no money would be taken - because no extra Patreon content was available for the time being.
Compare a woman around Jack's age, suddenly widowed in a instant, who currently relies on her podcast for an income, refusing to take money via Patreon because she cannot provide content in return at the moment to the despicable leech that is Jack Monroe, happy to lie about her financial situation, plead constant poverty, and take money through Patreon without providing any of the promised 'goodies' in return - for months, if not over a year. Sick, twisted, narcissistic, fraudulent fucker, Jack Monroe.
Ed for grammar!
Last edited:
200 threads! 
LJC bless us one and all.
I was busy making sosibol (sausage bolognese) (true story) (my invention - read it and weep, Jacko) (it’s better than sausagne) (true story).
Thanks for my Kumquatoupee, @misshydrangea ! I’ll keep it for exactly one night.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda slice of my lemon drizzle?
No.
What came first, the fish or the egg?
Neither, cos Jack ate them all.
In related news, guess who was GIFTED a hydrangea bush today?
That’s right, lads. Me. I’ve facking made it.
LJC bless us one and all.I was busy making sosibol (sausage bolognese) (true story) (my invention - read it and weep, Jacko) (it’s better than sausagne) (true story).
Thanks for my Kumquatoupee, @misshydrangea ! I’ll keep it for exactly one night.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda slice of my lemon drizzle?
No.
What came first, the fish or the egg?
Neither, cos Jack ate them all.
In related news, guess who was GIFTED a hydrangea bush today?
That’s right, lads. Me. I’ve facking made it.
blurstoftimes
VIP Member
NO child should be forced to start any day in the summer holidays with these bloody cards
i'll just leave this review here
i'll just leave this review here
SweetTransvestite
VIP Member
BlendedSlop
VIP Member
I think that's a possibility - it's a year to the day since she innocently tweeted "What does burnout feel like?", swiftly followed, after a bout of crowdsourcing symptoms, by a wail of "How the fuck am I going to pay my bills?" and her Patreon details. The perfect time for an anniversary grift?Seeing as we’re collectively stage directing her - can we get some sort of vile thread indirectly begging for Patreons please? We predict a 4.5% churn’s gonna happen tomorrow, you’re already down 50 odd from just February, so give it all you’ve got hun
Oh, and...
heretoreaditall2019
VIP Member
Wake up you ninnies it’s 
the monthly Patreon drop
She’s gone from 296 patrons down to 282, a drop of 4.7%, in line with average monthly losses. Assuming a fairly low blended avg sub of £6 and high platform fees of 10% this is an estimated catastrophic loss of £75.60 pcm for the John Lewis partnership.
Patreon speculator @HotesTilaire has had a major fall pegged for months now following Jack’s beg for Patreons to supplement her corporate incomes this time last year… either those annual subs will churn next month (maybe you get a free month with an annual subscription? Or the timing was too close to month end it falls into next month?who knows) or no one was actually stupid enough to sign up for the annual package. Tune in next month to find out x
ps Will update in 2 days time with how many people rejoined after a failed payment
the saddest number of them all
pps we do have a table of this stuff since records began, will update that at some point but ngl probably next month end sorry x
the monthly Patreon drop She’s gone from 296 patrons down to 282, a drop of 4.7%, in line with average monthly losses. Assuming a fairly low blended avg sub of £6 and high platform fees of 10% this is an estimated catastrophic loss of £75.60 pcm for the John Lewis partnership.
Patreon speculator @HotesTilaire has had a major fall pegged for months now following Jack’s beg for Patreons to supplement her corporate incomes this time last year… either those annual subs will churn next month (maybe you get a free month with an annual subscription? Or the timing was too close to month end it falls into next month?
who knows) or no one was actually stupid enough to sign up for the annual package. Tune in next month to find out x ps Will update in 2 days time with how many people rejoined after a failed payment
the saddest number of them all pps we do have a table of this stuff since records began, will update that at some point but ngl probably next month end sorry x
To be fair, he was only 10 at the time, and Jack does often confuse him with a toddler.
In other news , I did see two copies of Tin Can Cook in Waterstones. Opening a copy at a random page I found a recipe for tuna pasta. Jack, who never ate pasta until she was 14, lovingly detailed that watching her mother pour pasta in to a saicepan was one of her earliest memories.
So either she spent her entire childhood in a fugue state (which would explain a lot) or Jack was lying.
