Jack. If you’re reading. Take one for the team cabal and use this as your new Twitter profile pic xxx
Jack Monroe #200 Yes you can freeze glass jars
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Tbh I think I look quite dashing in my kumquat, it makes me feel like a whole new woman. Almost like I could go and cause a chaos on Twitter by wading balls deep into an argument that doesn't concern me in the least and then pose seductively on a sideboard in me best knackered knicks to ensnare a new minted wife. Thankyou x Jack for being a perennial twit and the cabal for not ousting me when I turned up with a v silly bot in tow (recipe album coming soon) 
Do you think vlad would like to join the party?
200 threads! 
LJC bless us one and all.
I was busy making sosibol (sausage bolognese) (true story) (my invention - read it and weep, Jacko) (it’s better than sausagne) (true story).
Thanks for my Kumquatoupee, @misshydrangea ! I’ll keep it for exactly one night.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda slice of my lemon drizzle?
No.
What came first, the fish or the egg?
Neither, cos Jack ate them all.
In related news, guess who was GIFTED a hydrangea bush today?
That’s right, lads. Me. I’ve facking made it.
LJC bless us one and all.I was busy making sosibol (sausage bolognese) (true story) (my invention - read it and weep, Jacko) (it’s better than sausagne) (true story).
Thanks for my Kumquatoupee, @misshydrangea ! I’ll keep it for exactly one night.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda slice of my lemon drizzle?
No.
What came first, the fish or the egg?
Neither, cos Jack ate them all.
In related news, guess who was GIFTED a hydrangea bush today?
That’s right, lads. Me. I’ve facking made it.
And all the thread avatar pictures get hats too!
Looking around this thread must be what it feels like visiting a Toni & Guy
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200 threads!
I was busy making sosibol (sausage bolognese) (true story) (my invention - read it and weep, Jacko) (it’s better than sausagne) (true story).
Thanks for my Kumquatoupee, @misshydrangea ! I’ll keep it for exactly one night.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda slice of my lemon drizzle?
No.
What came first, the fish or the egg?
Neither, cos Jack ate them all.
In related news, guess who was GIFTED a hydrangea bush today?
View attachment 686898
That’s right, lads. Me. I’ve facking made it.
You've peaked Kumquat coiffer!!! I'm deceased.
(go on Jack, be a good sport, ya prune!)
OH MY LJC! Thread 200.
I'm jumping ahead from my grunking and uncontrolled LOLLING
to claw at the floor for help in having a RED WEDGE for hair please.
Now duck off!
I'm jumping ahead from my grunking and uncontrolled LOLLING
to claw at the floor for help in having a RED WEDGE for hair please.
Now duck off!
He wouldn’t miss it for the world dear heart
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Oh my God, Twink being possessed by the disapproving spirit of Sir Matt in the last second of this gif is ending me and sending me.
@crystaleyesd log out, you in danger girl
No need to pretend with us, Poca. We all know that you've just this very moment got back from a garden centre having purchased that hydrangea and left it on your porch so it looks like a kindly neighbour who follows you on Twitter knew exactly what you wanted. You should be careful to take good care of it though. Hydrangeas are forever, not penultimate forever.
You look stunning @fauxpoor
You look stunning @fauxpoor
I've just had half an hour catching up in bed. Fresh sheets plus knock knock jokes and Kumquat hairdos? Thread 200 you are spoiling us!
I would like to give thanks to Jack, whose monumental dickosity gathered us all together like Tomato Purée from Concentrate (48%), Water, Tomatoes (5.7%), Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Rapeseed Oil, Sugar, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Garlic Powder, Dried Basil, Ground Black Pepper, Ground Fennel, Sweetener (Saccharin), Dried Oregano.
And I really mean that.
I would like to give thanks to Jack, whose monumental dickosity gathered us all together like Tomato Purée from Concentrate (48%), Water, Tomatoes (5.7%), Modified Maize Starch, Salt, Rapeseed Oil, Sugar, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Garlic Powder, Dried Basil, Ground Black Pepper, Ground Fennel, Sweetener (Saccharin), Dried Oregano.
And I really mean that.
same, babes I am DECEASED
It’s at times like this I’m glad I got long Covid otherwise I’d never have found this canal of hilarious hausfrauen und herren
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