- Notice
SweetTransvestite
VIP Member
With you there, 100%
I'm a disabled frau too, I had a SCI in 2012 & have spent the last 8 years struggling from no mobility, to electric wheelchair, to manual chair & now a stick (I use a chair when I need to because of nerve pain/damage & fatigue). I volunteer & run a sports club with adults/young people with physical disabilities, it's my reason for getting up in the morning. I fully support #iseepurple & this kind of bullshit absolutely boils my piss.
FrauETA. & I don't care if this does🔺️me
Last edited:
Minky McMoneypenny
Well-known member
The squiggle who tweeted her the Scotsman article (ETA same Squig as in @HotesTilaire receipt above)
Switchstreetz
VIP Member
The sloppies went viral overnight- 230 responses!!!
The reason im posting though: we now have a "get to fuck" pacman, i know at least one of you is lying you scamps!
(Or Jack enjoyed the form so much she completed it twice...don't do that, it's cheating Jack!)
The reason im posting though: we now have a "get to fuck" pacman, i know at least one of you is lying you scamps!
(Or Jack enjoyed the form so much she completed it twice...don't do that, it's cheating Jack!)
Smeghead
VIP Member
I tried four in one category and it said I was a greedy goblin! Nice touch @Switchstreetz 
HarderFaster
VIP Member
Reiterate? She has categorically NEVER iterated it!!!!
I genuinely cannot recall a time when she has said “I am not poor” in a tweet. Possibly in a reply, but she has always framed it as “I might be again soon”.
Little shit. Shows she’s rattled by the negative attention that isn’t coming from mad alt-right types.
I genuinely cannot recall a time when she has said “I am not poor” in a tweet. Possibly in a reply, but she has always framed it as “I might be again soon”.
Little shit. Shows she’s rattled by the negative attention that isn’t coming from mad alt-right types.
LavaFlake
VIP Member
I think in Aug or Sept she was saying her salary was 95% hoovered up by rent and bills? That's when the woe is me, I'm being frugal for personal reasons that I won't comment on 
kicked off.
Said it before, I'll say it again. As someone on the waiting list for an ADHD diagnosis, fuck you Jack. Of course your ADHD will impact your work and life, and employees and friends/family/whatever should make reasonable adjustment. But don't expect them to accept it as an excuse for every fuck up. If you filed your tax return late, that's your fault. Don't use ADHD as an excuse. Get a good accountant and take the pressure off you. You can preempt these pressure points, and you have the financial resources to do so.
I literally dropped out of a fully funded PhD because of what we now suspect is ADHD. I just thought my brain didn't work properly and I couldn't focus and complete tasks because I had rubbish willpower. That then pushed me into clinical depression and self loathing. But actually, I had incredible willpower to have even got that far, with hindsight. It's why I chose the industry I now work in, because I work better with rapid deadlines and pressure forcing me to do the work. Yes, my brain caused me to go through some difficult times but I'm not going to gnash my teeth and howl into the wind about it. You learn how to mitigate the problems as best you can. I do it every day of my life. One day I pray I can access better resources and maybe appropriate meds too.
Anyway, sorry for my life story and I'm not even sure what the point of writing this is but it just makes me sick when I see her using it as a constant excuse and badge of honour every fay- especially in light of this Scotsman article. Frauen across this thread with ADHD have to get the fuck on with it. ADHD counsellor or not.
kicked off.Said it before, I'll say it again. As someone on the waiting list for an ADHD diagnosis, fuck you Jack. Of course your ADHD will impact your work and life, and employees and friends/family/whatever should make reasonable adjustment. But don't expect them to accept it as an excuse for every fuck up. If you filed your tax return late, that's your fault. Don't use ADHD as an excuse. Get a good accountant and take the pressure off you. You can preempt these pressure points, and you have the financial resources to do so.
I literally dropped out of a fully funded PhD because of what we now suspect is ADHD. I just thought my brain didn't work properly and I couldn't focus and complete tasks because I had rubbish willpower. That then pushed me into clinical depression and self loathing. But actually, I had incredible willpower to have even got that far, with hindsight. It's why I chose the industry I now work in, because I work better with rapid deadlines and pressure forcing me to do the work. Yes, my brain caused me to go through some difficult times but I'm not going to gnash my teeth and howl into the wind about it. You learn how to mitigate the problems as best you can. I do it every day of my life. One day I pray I can access better resources and maybe appropriate meds too.
Anyway, sorry for my life story and I'm not even sure what the point of writing this is but it just makes me sick when I see her using it as a constant excuse and badge of honour every fay- especially in light of this Scotsman article. Frauen across this thread with ADHD have to get the fuck on with it. ADHD counsellor or not.
Last edited:
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
@Walkdengirl slopbot.com for all your maverick cookery needs.
Unfortunately, Slopbot has turned into Stropbot tonight. I was trying to fix something (it's only displaying about half of all the words I've put into it) but instead I've broken it, accidentally saved over the previous file and also uploaded the broken version to the site so if it's not working, that's why. I'm trying to fix it (properly this time) but with 'neurodiverse' Jack being the only incarnation that rapidly approaches terminal insufferability for me, I don't think I have enough cigarillos on hand to deal with this tonight.
There is however some good news: the winner of the Mission Inn Star Award from The Sloppies receives a golden Slopbot!
Unfortunately, Slopbot has turned into Stropbot tonight. I was trying to fix something (it's only displaying about half of all the words I've put into it) but instead I've broken it, accidentally saved over the previous file and also uploaded the broken version to the site so if it's not working, that's why. I'm trying to fix it (properly this time) but with 'neurodiverse' Jack being the only incarnation that rapidly approaches terminal insufferability for me, I don't think I have enough cigarillos on hand to deal with this tonight.
There is however some good news: the winner of the Mission Inn Star Award from The Sloppies receives a golden Slopbot!
LavaFlake
VIP Member
LennyBriscoe
VIP Member
I’ve gone back to thread 1 and I am HOOTING! This Bobby dazzler really got me - maybe THEN you didn’t read them and wade in for an argument but we all know that changed...
Attachments
LavaFlake
VIP Member
I'm pretty sure she got tagged by DHOTYA years ago for something SB allegedly said or did, and has long had that account blocked...
Eta: found it...
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
jenny2603
VIP Member
Was it something Laura said?
MancBee
VIP Member
Her house is so cold, layers, layers, layers, heater, electric blankets, more blankets, two hats, microwave heated neckwarmer, two pairs of socks, curtains closed to keep out the cold, more layers, layers, layers, painful RA, painful joints, body aches walking stick constant pain.
Next day, streaking around with only socks on, running around the house naked.
Has she had a secret visit to Lourdes?
Satisfying Click
VIP Member
Sorry if this has been posted already, I was busy streaking whilst my husband was on a Zoom call. Anyway, I noticed this:
Silver Linings
VIP Member
I’ll put my negative cards on the table. Nothing is going to happen. Her brand is now her mental health and anything negative is now trolling and as the article pointed out there is no regulation or right to reply so it’s her blue ticked word against nasty trolls.
Her trolling ordeal will then only further her career. I know all of this yet continue to be fascinated/jealous of her big shiny balls.
ETA - She’s put the podcast screenshot on Instagram too. Shameless.
Her trolling ordeal will then only further her career. I know all of this yet continue to be fascinated/jealous of her big shiny balls.
ETA - She’s put the podcast screenshot on Instagram too. Shameless.
Last edited:
crystaleyesd
VIP Member
Translation - I'll resume my grift in January when the heat's died down from being clocked by a journalist. Conveniently just before being horribly evicted from my penultimate forever home (actually just when the lease is up...) ready to crowdfund a deposit out of all you povos.
Tattle still got all those pesky receipts though, Jack
Tattle still got all those pesky receipts though, Jack
1. She posted a behind the scenes video of the GQ award. Apparently Marcus was creasing himself at her onion tears.
2. She told us how to keep warm - keep your curtains shut all day even if it makes your house look ‘like a knocking shop’.
3. The pesky Hermes driver broke her Sophie Conran plate. Steady on, it’s a GIFT for someone.
4. Changeover day occurred. Jack’s bizarre bazar.
5. An interesting article came out in The Scotsman.
6. She decorated her Christmas tree.
7. A young Sally Field in her girdle paid a visit.
8. @traumatised sideboard gave us the joy of Slopbot.
2. She told us how to keep warm - keep your curtains shut all day even if it makes your house look ‘like a knocking shop’.
3. The pesky Hermes driver broke her Sophie Conran plate. Steady on, it’s a GIFT for someone.
4. Changeover day occurred. Jack’s bizarre bazar.
5. An interesting article came out in The Scotsman.
6. She decorated her Christmas tree.
7. A young Sally Field in her girdle paid a visit.
8. @traumatised sideboard gave us the joy of Slopbot.
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
*** JACKISMS ***
Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
‘Babe, same’
‘I did a chaos’
‘My maverick brain’
‘My sad little face’
‘I’m BUSY’
‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
‘I laughed up a lung’
** NEW **
‘Literally hella embarrassed AF’ about ‘Brexit and flip-flopping Covid flippancy’ and she ‘didn’t even vote for it’.
She likes to describe herself as ‘puppyishly honest and naively enthusiastic’
As of late November 2020, Jack conceded she is not poor, but living to a budget as she is saving for a forever home for her and SB.
*****
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.
*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*
Also:
Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack versus Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/
Thread #31 is the infamous one in which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on p. 17.
For anyone wanting to relive the glory days of her two-week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL), have a grunk a through threads 2-9.
*** JACKISMS ***
Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:
Yes, absolutely x
Some other favourite Jack quotes:
‘Babe, same’
‘I did a chaos’
‘My maverick brain’
‘My sad little face’
‘I’m BUSY’
‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’
‘I laughed up a lung’
** NEW **
‘Literally hella embarrassed AF’ about ‘Brexit and flip-flopping Covid flippancy’ and she ‘didn’t even vote for it’.
She likes to describe herself as ‘puppyishly honest and naively enthusiastic’
As of late November 2020, Jack conceded she is not poor, but living to a budget as she is saving for a forever home for her and SB.
*****
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts). ** Recent additions to her terms of endearment for Tattle: conspiracy wankers, obsessive groups of completely unhinged bullies, bullying ninnies, and malign, vicious bullies **
To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time (and is also a fearless pioneer of the space-time continuum. She really was here both Now and Then).
Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts in order to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that. * She may also threaten to take us to court - do not be afraid, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last. *
Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)
We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.
During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.
Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.
Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now fuck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to fuck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel humour.
*Back in the mists of time, one funny frau used a Jimmy Nail ‘She’s Lying’ picture to illustrate their thoughts on one of Jack’s latest tales. @Alpha Beta thought it was Novak Djokovic, the cabal hooted and Novak Nail was born. You may see reference to Jimmy Nail, Novak Djokovic, or the combination of both: Novak Nail. All demonstrate that she’s lying.*
Also:
- She grew up in a 5-bed (mortgaged/owned) house
- She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st birthday
- Her dad's a fucking LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
- Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
- ** NEW ** However, during Lockdown 2 (November 2020), a bubble buddy, ‘buddle’ (BB) came to stay with Jack. BB is pescatarian, cycles 200 miles a week, and works in London. Jack is teaching her to cook, while also using her as a figure of gentle ridicule. She cannot cook, she cannot iron, she cannot clean the television properly, she left the hose out and it got eaten by a fox, and she doesn’t know the difference between wet and dry ingredients.
- Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
- She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
- During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’
- The information held on her by Companies House has her year of birth WRONG. She was born in 1988, not 1978.
- She recently claimed she found her Burberry scarf in a muddy puddle.
Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.
We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
- Lastly, but importantly, when submitting ideas for the next thread title, please use the words ‘thread title’, as it makes it easier to search. Just using the number won’t be enough. We also can’t have swears in the title, and try to hold off until around p. 40 for your suggestions, if possible. ThankYOU.
Last edited:
Minky McMoneypenny
Well-known member
It could only be SLOPBOT for #114 thanks to @traumatised sideboard
Could someone do a recap and the Jack for Dummies link, please?
Could someone do a recap and the Jack for Dummies link, please?
PoorPatrol
VIP Member
So she’s got two of those Heist £95 bodysuits! Again, her son! Has cheap white bread with cream cheese for days on end in his lunchbox, with smart price maize snacks as a treat 
Forget, even for a moment, that she is conning squiggles and Guardian readers out of their money. What’s worse for me is that she chooses to give her child very little nourishment, privacy, or attention. While lavishing all of it on herself. She’s fucking evil.
Forget, even for a moment, that she is conning squiggles and Guardian readers out of their money. What’s worse for me is that she chooses to give her child very little nourishment, privacy, or attention. While lavishing all of it on herself. She’s fucking evil.